Season: 2 (Cher)
Episode: 24
Guest(s): Ray Charles, The Muppets, Chastity
CBS Air Date: November 16, 1975
Also aired: VH1, TimeLife Cher
All the guests appear in video clips at the top. We’re again using the first season’s opening style of all video clips instead of the cool, new Cher graphics or the old photos.
Torch Open/Opening Song: “Happy Together” and “Love Will Keep Us Together” (Video)
Cover of the Turtles (1967) and Captain & Tennille (1975)
Cher wears a blue, purple and green pastel gauzy wrap which she throws off to reveal a shaggy pantsuit. The audience looks full. Cher does a very Cher-like rendition of the songs. Cher claps loud at inopportune times. The stage is a purple circle with flower paper and a sparkly center.
Monologue: Cher says something to the band and then says, “How ya doing? Fine?” and talks about working with Ray Charles and Kermit the Frog. She’s excited about the show (“I know you’ll dig this show”). She calls Ray Charles a “legend, terrific” and singles out Kermit as “a terrific little guy.” She said Kermit was disappointed the show did not have any green greasepaint for him and that Cher discouraged him from eating before taping because of performance nerves. Turns out he did have butterflies in his stomach, but those wasn’t nerves. That was just his lunch. Cher ducks as if she’s ashamed of that joke and there were some boos. Then Cher says Chastity loved Kermit and told Cher it was great to work with a great star (Kermit, not Cher…a joke about famous kids never being impressed with their famous parents). Tough Pigs again does a great review of the show with screenshots. They mention a laugh track here but the laughs seem thin. Maybe I’m just used to louder laugh tracks.
Guest Spot: Cher, in a silver tube top, introduces Ray Charles as one of the greatest singers of our time and Charles plays the organ and sings Stevie Wonder’s song “Living for the City.” Very cool stage background. The song sounds remarkably different than Wonder’s version, including a spoken-word part. The five Raelettes back him up wearing big sparkling collars.
Duet with Guest (Video)
Cher comes out and tells Ray Charles how nervous she was during their two days of rehearsal and she calls him her idol. She said the experience “made me really uptight” and Charles said, “It’s okay, you make me really nervous, too” which was nice. Cher then tells him a story about watching him on American Bandstand when he sang “Georgia On My Mind” and how that was her mother’s name and his performance really “knocked me out”(which sounds like something Sonny would say). She said she cried the whole time. “It really wasted me” (which sounds like something Gregg would say). She says she wants to do the song with Charles. He said it would be “his great pleasure.” They sing “Georgia On My Mind” (Hoagy Carmichael, 1930, and Ray Charles, 1960), a very lovely, moving rendition.
Skit: Kermit comes on for a “Bicentennial Minute” in a tri-cornered hat to talk about famous frogs in American history. He talks about the Boston Frog Party and how thousands of frogs were dumped into the harbor (which is where they wanted to be anyway), and George Washington Frog who leaped across the Delaware. Kermit says it was easy to spot the British frogs because they hopped on the wrong side of the street. Paul Revere rode a frog on his famous ride and got saddle warts. Abe Lincoln’s first wife was a frog which explains the wart on his face (ouch!). Frogs carried settlers into Indian Territory and had to harness the frogs in a circle when attacked. Then he talks about Custer’s last stand and Sitting Bullfrog.
Cher comes on in a white Victorian-laced top and challenges Kermit’s facts. He tells her to check out his book, but it’s all written in “ribbet” which she tries to read.
Then they start to flirt with each other (Video). Tough Pigs and others have speculated that the skit was over and Cher and Kermit were waiting for some indication from the director that didn’t come. What follows was ad-libbed. Kermit says Cher has a great nose, nice legs, arms and elbows. She laughs and asks where his belly button is (he’s not a mammal so he wouldn’t have one) and Kermit says he hasn’t looked recently, “There’s a lot of stuff I don’t have. I’m just a puppet.” (Big laugh.) Kermit wants to know if she fools around. She laughs and squishes his face. She asks what he has in mind, going to the hop? Kermit’s face wrinkles up at this joke. She says if he’s going to talk big he’d better come up with some action. “Haven’t you heard about me,” she asks. “Don’t you read fan magazines where you come from?” Kermit says, “Sure, I’ve read about you” and does a drawn-out gasp which makes everyone laugh. Classic Muppets/Cher TV.
Duet with Guest (Video)
Cher and Sweetums sing and dance to “That Old Black Magic” (cover of Harold Arlen and Johnny Mercer from the 1942 movie Star Spangled Rhythm). Cher is wearing a shimmery cut-out pantsuit and the stage has simple gold curtains. Sweetums leers at Cher at first (but then, that’s his thing). There’s lots of hugging. Tough Pigs says this song has been used a few times in Muppet history and that Sweetums here is performed by Richard Hunt. Sweetums is described by Tough Pigs as “brash, but slightly shy” which is a good description of his unique character. Tough Pigs notes that this is the type of celebrity song and dance number that carried over into The Muppet Show a year later in September 1976.
Guest Spot (Video)
Kermit and Ray Charles sing “Being Green,” which has become another early classic Muppets clip. For some crazy reason this was excluded from both VH1 and the Cher TimeLife DVD. Kermit sits on a big rainbow and Ray Charles wears a brown shirt and yellow, checkered jacket. The song has very obvious racial overtones when sung by Ray Charles.
Excerpts from the lyrics:
“It’s not that easy bein’ green
Having to spend each day
The color of the leaves…
It seems you blend in
With so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over
‘Cause you’re not standing out
Like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky…
But green’s the color of spring
And green can be cool and friendly like
And green can be big like an ocean
Or important like a mountain or tall like a tree”
The simple song transforms into a beautifully eloquent message between Kermit and Ray Charles about the color of someone’s skin. Tough Pigs notes that Ray Charles eerily looks directly at Kermit, which he must not normally do in other duets. Mr. Cher Scholar commented that Ray Charles and Cher are similar in that they make everything sound interesting with their captivating voices and interpretations.
Skit: Gaylard Sartain introduces this sketch. Cher plays a bank teller with a bobbed wig. Ray Charles is attempting to rob her. Charles points the gun in the wrong place and Cher says, “Over here” and spends the rest of the sketch trying to help him. He keeps asking her what she’s doing and she says, “Listen, if this is gonna work you’re gonna have to trust me.” He thinks his bag is white but it’s brown. He’s disappointed because he wants it to match his outfit. Cher says not to worry, white does with anything. “Not in my neighborhood, honey,” he says. Charles asks for bills in twenties, fifties and hundreds. Cher asks how he’s going to read the money. He says he’s going to walk out on the street and give a bill to a lady and if she says ‘thank you,’ he’ll know that’s a twenty. If she kisses him, he’ll know that’s a fifty. Cher asks how he’ll know if it’s a hundred dollar bill and he says, “I’ll know! I’ll know.” (funny) But then he admits he’s robbing the bank for his wife. Cher says his wife must be beautiful and he says, “I hope so.” Charles complains about a world full of violence, crime and game shows and says he’s the one who needs police protection. Cher has sounded the alarm and she walks around the counter and takes his gun. The police come and mistake her for the bank robber and arrest her. Tough Pigs ends their commentary on this skit with this comment: “Waaaaaacky!”
Skit: Some Muppets join Cher for a telethon to save Channel 103. Cher wears a blond wig with a pink boa. The Muppets present are (left-to-right) Waldorf (Jerry Nelson), Mildred (Richard Hunt), Sam the Eagle and Kermit. There are three black phones on a brown desk. Items for the auction are a bust of Robert Cummings, a doorknob warmer, a clarinet lamp (“for those who like light music”), a sterling silver asparagus holder, a neon crowbar and an electric meat stretcher. They have been getting zero calls and realize it’s because they haven’t given out their phone number but none of them remember what it is. Cher finds a card and holds it upside-down to read shoe-sss. They get her to turn it around and it shows the number 555-3045. Sam the Eagle declares he will match any donation and Kermit says he will double any donation. Sam then attacks Kermit for being normally cheap. (“The only thing a frog ever gave anybody was a wart” and Kermit says “That’s a racial slur!”) Cher asks Kermit how much money they would need to raise for all the documentary, public service and news programing on the channel and Kermit estimates $5 should cover it. He gives Cher a five dollar bill. Cher then says The French Chef show wants to have him on as a guest star and it turns out they only want him for his frog legs so he takes his five dollars back.
Cher Solo: “I Am I Said” (Audio only)
Cover of Neil Diamond (1971)
This has never been re-aired but Cher did sing the song toward the end of the Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour. Tough Pigs notes that Cher’s blue and white halter outfit is almost the same as the blue and white set so she appears to be just a floating head and body parts. Tough Pigs theorizes that this is all that Cher really is. Boo. Mr. Cher Scholar overheard this comment and took umbrage on Cher Scholar’s behalf and said something about someone who is probably over 50 running a Muppets site, which I won’t repeat because you could say the exact same thing about someone who is over 50 running a Cher site. (Oy vay.) Mr. Cher Scholar also noted that the song lyrics reference a frog (“Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king and then became one? Well except for the names and a few other changes, if you talk about me, the story’s the same one.”) I would imagine this was an intentional song choice.
Guest Spot (Video)
Tough Pigs notes that “Chasity is at that perfect age when a kid can have fun with a Muppet while being clever and precocious without the self-awareness that makes older kids think they’re too cool to talk to a puppet.” Chastity seems very shy with Kermit and almost star-struck. They talk about whether Chastity likes Cher’s songs. Chastity doesn’t like all of them but likes most of them and no particulars are given. Chastity and Kermit partake in two staring contests, the first one who blinks or looks away loses and Kermit never blinks so he wins them both but the second one takes him longer than he anticipates. Then they talk about where frogs are ticklish. Everywhere as it turns out. Kermit then asks for a kiss and he returns a kiss to Chastity. He says, “now sometimes you kiss a frog and it turns into a handsome prince. Didn’t happen that time.”
Finale (Video, Full Audio)
Cher, Ray Charles and the Raelettes perform a very lovely and long medley while Ray Charles plays piano. Cher wears as African-inspired braid wig and collared, orange (or peach?) feathered dress. This sort of appropriation would totally not fly today but you have to give it to Bob Mackie for not making any appropriations look too cartoonish. Baby steps for 1975. Cool stage design.
- “Look What They’ve Done to My Song, Ma” (Melanie, 1970)
- “Hit the Road, Jack” (Ray Charles, 1961) – Ray Charles starts and Cher joins. Love hearing Cher on this. One of my favorite Ray Charles songs. Funny ending. This part is skipped in the Cher TimeLife and VHI versions.
- “Take Me Home, Country Roads” (John Denver, 1971) – Ray Charles starts it again and Cher comes right in. Sometimes I think Ray Charles just wings it through these, which is fine. His winging-it is better than a lot of 100-percenters.
- “Cherry” (jazz standard, 1928) – Ray Charles sings it Cher-y (as noted by Tough Pigs) and sings the song to Cher while she interjects. Very charming. Why was this cut from TimeLife and VH1? Very charming duet.
- “Just for a Thrill” (Ray Charles, 1960) – Mostly Cher sings this one, (which is one of my favorite songs to hear Cher sing) while Charles denies and apologizes. Great, great, great.
- “What’d I Say” (Ray Charles, 1959) – Great duet version.
Close: Cher thanks her guests. Jim Henson joins doing Kermit and Sweetums is there too. Cher sits on Ray Charles’ piano bench and continues to sing “What’d I Say.” The voice over credits Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, Richard Hunt and Dave Goelz as the puppeteers.
VHI is a half-hour episode and is missing Cher and Kermit, Kermit and Ray Charles, Cher and Sweetums, Ray’s bank robbery, the Muppet/Cher telethon, Cher’s solo and half of the finale.
The Cher TimeLife is inexplicably missing the Ray Charles and Kermit duet, one of the most classic and moving moments of 1970s television.
Highlights: All the Cher and Ray Charles spots are magic, their duets are great and the skit is mildly funny. This is one of the classic Cher show episodes if not also a classic of the Muppets and 1970s television entirely.
I have a longer story about my current Muppets obsession and the significance of this particular episode in Muppets history (which is pretty huge).
