{"id":2959,"date":"2009-10-09T15:09:54","date_gmt":"2009-10-09T21:09:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cherscholar.com\/cherblog\/wedding-bell-blues\/"},"modified":"2023-02-20T08:36:36","modified_gmt":"2023-02-20T15:36:36","slug":"wedding-bell-blues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cherscholar.com\/cherblog\/2009\/10\/wedding-bell-blues\/","title":{"rendered":"Wedding Bell Blues"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/cherscholar.typepad.com\/.a\/6a00d8341d6c7753ef0120a5d439b3970b-popup\" onclick=\"window.open( this.href, &#39;_blank&#39;, &#39;width=640,height=480,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0&#39; ); return false\" style=\"FLOAT: left\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Bridezilla\" class=\"asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d8341d6c7753ef0120a5d439b3970b \" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cherscholar.com\/cherblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/6a00d8341d6c7753ef0120a5d439b3970b-200wi.jpg?w=676&#038;ssl=1\" style=\"MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px\" \/><\/a> <\/p>\n<p>So as you can see, <em>I Found Some Blog<\/em> is in virtual hibernation as I happily slog through wedding duties. I\u2019m actually having a really great time compiling our programs and cutting down songs. Everything is falling into place. Knock on wood.<\/p>\n<p>I was thinking last night that in many ways this has been&#0160;a fairy tale wedding in planning (knock on wood again), from the Parisian proposal to the awesome invitations, to all the ideas and creative bells and whistles John and I have contributed to the basic structure of a wedding, which has made the process more fun for us, hopefully more entertaining for our friends, and so much more personal and meaningful.<\/p>\n<p>But there have been a few snags, as there always is. And in a strange way, John and I have bonded over this as well. In a sad way, it has furthered the fairy tale motif: feeling rescued by a Prince Charming from childhood troubles and sad relations with certain family members.<\/p>\n<p>The only grief over this wedding (and I do use the word strongly) has not been over bridezilla-eque wedding details gone awry, but family drama. <\/p>\n<p>Now both my therapist and my good friend Ann warned me over a year ago that weddings often bring out the worst in families, especially narcissistic family members. And I have some of those\u2026not all of them (there have been some in my family who have been very helpful to us during this time)\u2026but there\u2019s been some whopper moments from the others.<\/p>\n<p>Weddings are clearly a case of something that is all about <em>you<\/em>. And narcissists have two ways of dealing with that: they will either parade around like peacocks in order to draw attention back to them or refuse to participate altogether&#8230;in any case, keeping things squarely all about them and their needs on what is to be your very special day. All advice (online, on the couch, over drinks) recommends holding steadfast to yourself. In this time of your life, it really <em>is<\/em> all about you. <\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s still heartbreaking when it happens. And I have to say, a few relationships have been changed as a result. <\/p>\n<p>Putting together my wedding has been mostly an awesome experience that I\u2019ve enjoyed immensely. Cataloging my worst day to my friend Ken, he said \u201cI am sorry you are going through this&#8230;weddings bring out the worst in people.\u201d&#0160; <\/p>\n<p>So between the actual happy moments of the past few weeks and the head-shaking f*#k-ed up moments, this is the reason I have fallen off monitoring Cherabouts. I have no idea what\u2019s going on in Cherdom but I <em>have<\/em> plugged in <em>The Best of Cher<\/em> into my CD player a time or two just as a coping mechanism. <\/p>\n<p>I do seem to recall Cher\u2019s mother giving Cher these comforting words: \u201cIf it doesn\u2019t matter in five, years, it doesn\u2019t matter.\u201d Unfortunately, I do think some of my experiences lately will still matter in five year. But it is comforting to think of your trials in the context of geological time, which is why this song by Beth Neilson Chapman comforts me: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=V9z1Fc7hUYs\">http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=V9z1Fc7hUYs<\/a><\/p>\n<blockquote dir=\"ltr\">\n<p><em>\u201cSolid stone is just sand and water baby,<br \/>&#0160;sand and water\u2026and a million years gone by.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>You know what else cheers me up sometimes?<\/p>\n<p>PUPPIES!<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/cherscholar.typepad.com\/.a\/6a00d8341d6c7753ef0120a62ac5fd970c-popup\" onclick=\"window.open( this.href, &#39;_blank&#39;, &#39;width=640,height=480,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0&#39; ); return false\" style=\"DISPLAY: inline\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Edgar-franz\" class=\"asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d8341d6c7753ef0120a62ac5fd970c \" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cherscholar.com\/cherblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/6a00d8341d6c7753ef0120a62ac5fd970c-200wi.jpg?w=676&#038;ssl=1\" style=\"WIDTH: 200px\" \/><\/a> <\/p>\n<p>These two handsome gentlemen are seen as cruising the streets of LA <br \/>(pic taken by their chauffeur Julie W.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So as you can see, I Found Some Blog is in virtual hibernation as I happily slog through wedding duties. I\u2019m actually having a really great time compiling our programs and cutting down songs. Everything is falling into place. Knock on wood. I was thinking last night that in many ways this has been&#0160;a fairy [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-what-this-really-says-about-me","wp-image-borders","post-preview"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Wedding Bell Blues - I Found Some Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cherscholar.com\/cherblog\/2009\/10\/wedding-bell-blues\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Wedding Bell Blues - I Found Some Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So as you can see, I Found Some Blog is in virtual hibernation as I happily slog through wedding duties. 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