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<\/a><\/p>\nI say contrived because Dax Shepard himself brought up the fact that Cher had mentioned prior to this interview that she didn\u2019t believe Shepard was a\u00a0 good enough mate for Kristin Bell. So Shepard knew the answer before he asked the question and was never at any point offended about it. In fact he said mock-seriously that he even agreed with Cher\u2019s assessment adding that no one was good enough for her. He challenged Cher to list someone she did think was good enough for her. Kristen Bell herself interjects at this point to instruct Cher that Shepard is being self-deprecating.<\/p>\n
Is it, of course, a pure example of Cher pulling no punches. It’s also ironic because Cher, more than anyone else I can think of, has been in this position of defending her heart over and over again. Remember Sonny (a relationship that was impossible to explain to people) and Gregg Allman (“nobody understood it”) and all the younger boyfriends. She predictably sees things in men her family, fans and co-workers do not see. And that’s as it should be. We can’t all like the same people. Love is irrelevant to translation and transference. (\u201cLove don\u2019t make things nice\u201d and all that.)<\/p>\n
That Cher would put anyone on the defensive about their heart is very interesting.<\/p>\n
But it all made me look more closely at Dax Shepard; and he struck me as charming. I woke up early one morning thinking about this whole thing and Shepard’s way of downgrading his stock, (as Bell advised Cher he was doing). At one point, he joked about what a terrible father he was. Bell kept trying to explain him to Cher, his sense of humor.<\/p>\n
And all that seems to indicate he might be exhibiting what they call\u00a0 gray rocking. Not a likely thing for an entertainer to do (they usually try to make themselves bigger) but not unheard of either. Folks today are calling it “reverse catfishing.” Back in the day we just called it self-deprecation. It is, in a nutshell, to undermine or undersell your value…on purpose.<\/p>\n
Sometimes people seem like they’re underselling but they’re not. This is to set up an expectation they can come back and defend. Like the bad lover who says, \u201cI\u2019m no good, baby!\u201d Oprah then quotes Maya Angelou to say, \u201cThey tell you who they are.\u201d You just didn’t believe it. It\u2019s the bad ones who often do this.\u00a0The good ones sometimes do not<\/em> tell you who they are and for a reason.<\/p>\nAnd that reason could be gray rocking (or reverse catfishing or whatever). It\u2019s often initially a defense mechanism to deflect against unwanted attention from various situations or people, like narcissists, for example, or manipulators or too much affection coming at you that you can\u2019t return or just waiting to see who\u2019s willing to look a little closer (in order to weed out the unserious or unobservant or to confuse the constantly self-promoting).<\/p>\n
There\u2019s an Easter Egg effect about it (like those secret doors in video games or DVD home screens that lead to a secret entrance to a fabulous room).<\/p>\n
And it can become, like in Dax Shepard’s case, a comedic trick.<\/p>\n
I mean I guess. I don\u2019t know Dax Shepard. Seeing him in person with all his real room vibes is a lot different than watching a podcast on YouTube. But he strikes me as a strategic underseller.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a thing. There\u2019s a club. Don\u2019t ask me how I know.<\/p>\n\n\t\t
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