Season: 2 (The Sonny & Cher Show)
Episode: 30
Guest(s): Lyle Waggoner, Muhammed Ali, Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis Jr.
CBS Air Date: February 18, 1977
Also aired: TVLand, GetTV, Sonny & Cher TimeLife
Opening Song: “Aint That Peculiar” (Video)
Cover of Marvin Gaye (1965)
I love their blue color scheme, the sparkly Sonny vest and Cher’s pantsuit, the sleeves that are tied to her blouse (kind of reminding me of a Thneed) but I don’t love the high collar. We now sparkle without flares. This song seems like a bit awkward for them, like they can barely keep up.
Opening Banter: Cher says she has a sore throat. She complains Sonny is grooming her. They talk about their sleeping habits. Cher says she reads The National Enquirer just like everybody else. (That would soon stop when the stories start to get nastier.) Sonny tells the story about when they were married Sonny could go right to sleep but Cher could never fall asleep without the TV on. Cher speculates this is why they’re not married anymore. Cher admits she doesn’t need the TV on anymore but Sonny laments he now does.
Sonny’s Pizza: Cher and Luigi (Ted Zeigler) talk about how bad Sonny’s pizza is. Sonny is excited due to Muhammad Ali’s planned visit and he thinks Ali is coming to thank him for a free pizza he gave him years ago. Ali breaks down the parlor door. There’s a George Foreman joke. Muhammad Ali wants to kill Sonny because eating that pizza made him so mad he went into boxing and he sees Sonny’s face every time he punches somebody in the face. He grabs Sonny by the shirt and Sonny slips out of it (Sonny shirtless alert). That pizza ruined Ali’s life because he wanted to be an interior decorator.
Before he leaves, he thanks the audience for their cheering and then pauses at a celebrity photo of Jimmy Walker by the parlor door and signs it. He says, “this is how I looked before I ate his pizzas!” The pizza parlor staff agrees to go out for Chinese food.
Guest Spot (Video)
The elegant Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. sing “You Don’t Have to Be a Star (To Be In My Show)” and “Your Love.” Lovely, lovely, lovely! Omg, I love these two people! My only compliant is that the first song in the medley is too short. So let’s listen to it again! And Billy Davis Jr…what a smile. It’s in the top five for sure. (TimeLife cut their second song. For shame.)
Battle of the Sexes: Lyle Waggoner plays an irate nudist who arrives shirtless to accuse his neighbor (Cher) of being a Peeping Jane. Sonny takes his shirt off as well (Sonny shirtless alert #2). There’s a Burt Reynolds joke. I’ve starred this. (This skit is missing from GetTV.)
Concert/Duet with Guest (Video)
Sonny & Cher, Davis & McCoo sing “It Takes Two” “Where is the Love” and “Aint Nothing Like the Real Thing”
Cover of Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston (1966), Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway (1972) and Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (1968)
Cher and Marilyn McCoo match with black and red blouses and black pants with tall red boots. Sonny and Billy Davis Jr. wear red jackets. Cher wears a flipped wig. They do a partner swap. There’s a weird cut right after “Where is the Love.” My TVLand notes say Sonny & Cher might have sang “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” there. I’ve starred this. (All songs cut from TimeLife.)
Skit (Video)
Cher and Muhammad Ali compete in a boxing match that is really a poetry slam called The Wide World of Poetry. The use rhymes to insult each other. Back in 2016 I also blogged about this skit:
Recently, in the service of art and literature, I decided to transpose the Cher and Muhammad Ali poem from the later Sonny & Cher show.
Announcer: Welcome, sports fans, to the Wide World of Poetry. Tonight we have a dandy, the heavyweight poetry championship of the world.
Ali prepared by reading a rhyming dictionary and listening to a Rod McKuen album. McKuen died in 2015. Cher Bono Allman prepared by sparing with Nipsy Russel.
Don Diphthong (Sonny) is the referee. Sonny says he will announce 15 rounds of poetry. Keep voices up and no iambic pentameter allowed. In case of a pun, go to a neutral corner. Shake hands and come out rhyming!
Sonny introduces Ali at 216 pounds of poetic power. The only man who actually did write a sonnet about an Easter bonnet. The Louisville Laureate, Muhammad Ali.
Ali: When a man sees you it’s on your nose he dwells.
It’s larger than Howard Cosell’s.Cher: You know they’re filming your life story and there’s really no cause.
Cause it’s been on the screen once and they called the film Jaws.Ali: I love your show and I admire your style.
But Cher, your pay is so cheap I won’t see you for a while.Cher: You know I’m glad you turned to acting and writing.
Because my daughter could punch out those bums you’ve been fighting.Sonny: Keep it moving. Watch the meter.
Ali: I view your face each day although I’m not an admirer.
I always see your face on the National Enquirer.Cher: You know when you’re through fighting what will you do then?
You can’t be a ref cause you can’t count to ten.Ali: That remark you just made was lower than low.
Just like the ratings you got when you had your own show.Sonny: Good one Muhammad.
During the timeout, Ali reads a book; Cher files her nails.
Cher: You know they say you’re a giant from Maine to Montego,
but you’re really a shrimp with a six foot three ego.Ali: You think you’re so smart but I’m gonna tell you something that’s funny.
It don’t take much smarts to be smarter than Sonny.Sonny: Hey, that’s a low blow Muhammad. Not complaining.
Cher: You just got a divorce and one fact that’ll amaze you,
alimony can hit harder even than Frasier.Ali: I changed my name once and they said I was a scamp
but in changing one’s last name, I believe you are the champ.
Cher: You know that last fight with Norton was rampant with friction,
did you win that fight or was that science fiction?Cher gets the upper hand and is relentless.
Cher: You know you’re not like you were in the old days, mister.
You float like a hippo and you sting like my sister.Cher: Your next fight with Forman they’ll call you the broom
cause old George will use you to sweep up the room.Ali is knocked out. Sonny counts One, two, buckle my shoe. Three, four, close de door, five six pick up sticks.
Cher has won and agrees to a rematch but says Ali will have to beat Marie Osmond first.
Ali says she was in great condition. I never knew she had such great couplets. I was dancing, I was on my toes for the first four rhymes but the she hit me with a left quatrain. I was expecting a classical dactyl. But then she came in with an anapestic roundelay. I want a rematch. I know I can beat that Marie Osmond.
This was some effective acting by Ali who pretended to be out-of-breath during the fight.
Vente Nove (Video)
Cher interviews Vente Nove about his new movie, “Gone with the Wine.” He says he was born in a bingo parlor and the movie is the real life story of the Civil War as it happened in Fargo, North Dakota. In this version, Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. are the plantation owners and Lyle Waggoner and Cher are the slaves. Marilyn calls Cher and Lyle “colored.” They grovel in front of Scarlett and Rhett and Rhett says, “Excellent grovel.” He makes a Sand and Grovel joke. Considering how we’re talking about Gone with the Wind now, this skit was inspired and before its time.
Vente Nove makes a cameo every time someone says Tara, gradually becomes as shirtless as he can.
IGUB: Full closing where Sonny & Cher talk about singing “I Got You Babe.”
Thanks to Jay for the official run-down on this episode.
Highlights: One of their best episodes. Everything with Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. is great, every bit as glamourous as Sonny & Cher. The Gone with the Wind skit’s good-naturedness belies the act of its transgression. The Muhammad Ali skits are all very funny and couplets! These might just be my favorite guests from all seven years. Lowlight: no Cher solo.
