I Found Some Blog

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The Memoir TV Appearances

First of all, I’m sorry but this is going to be long. Very long. I don’t have the energy to break it up into multiple posts. Cher did quite a few appearances on television and podcasts, live interviews and Sirius Radio to promote her new memoir, part 1. Which seems to be paying off because the book has topped the New York Times Best Seller list for something like four to six weeks now. And the interviews are interesting for the different angles they explore on the book and because she, in some cases, elaborates on points from the book or they bring up new stories untold in the book.

In the print interviews, there were typical words that would recur: most commonly grit and gutsy. This reminded me of a Cher Zine article I did for Cher Zine 3 in 2011 called “Synonyms for Strong.” I had been a part of a news group years earlier and it had a questionnaire for new fans and I saved them for data review plus the same survey to some non-fans I knew.  Words used to describe Cher were the most interesting part of the study: words like tenacity (ability to survive, survivor, determined, re-invention, resilience), non-conformity was the next popular word (does what she wants, doesn’t care what people think, is not playing the game, is true to herself), third was her bold attitude (boldness, uninhibited, gutsy, courageous, has guts, has moxie, is straight-forward, spunky, tells it like it is, outspoken, speaks her mind) and finally the term self-confidence (self-esteem, tramp but she loves it). All were strong adjectives.

What I find interesting about the TV and podcast interviews is how most of the interviewers ask Cher when her next album is coming out and not when her next movie is coming out. Maybe this is because she’s been attached to so many movies that never got made, that movies for her are now so rare, or because, although she’s a much more acclaimed actress, it’s the music we want.

Here are some of the highlights of those 15 or so interview appearances (that I saw).

CBS Sunday Morning (17 November 2024)

Cher says she felt like she spent half of her adult life writing the book, that it took three drafts and only the last one was close to being right, a 4th draft would have been better. “Like me.” This is the first interview where she talks about how the first drafts were bad because they were just an encyclopedia of facts you could look up (first draft) or because she didn’t want to say much (second draft). She finally felt she had to “do it or give the money back.” She wanted to tell stories but “didn’t have a burning desire” to do the book. As with most of Cher’s projects, she admits she was lured in by the idea that “it would be fun.” But it was instead a lot of work. Some things, like her relationship with Sonny, were hard to explain. And she agonized about those things. She insists here and in other interviews that their television show was not fake affection, even as they were splitting up. But rather it was the only place Sonny and Cher could find peace,  (or Cher could, at any rate), as their relationship deteriorated due to Sonny’s lack of personal interest in the personal relationship and his increasing interest in the business of show business. The show, from Cher’s point of view, was always fun. Cher felt a sense of relief when they were working and more of a sense of equality there because acting came so much easier to her than to Sonny.

Cher then goes into the childhood chapters, how some of her childhood history she didn’t know for many years (the orphanages, the living with caregivers for extended periods, not living with her mother until she was three). Her first memory was of a Bambi highchair. She says she was more surprised by learning of her early shaking beginnings and how her friend Paulette saw the picture of Cher in the orphanage (Cher’s mom Georgia could show it to Paulette but was never able to show it to Cher). The unknown experienced caused a fear of abandonment she’s had her whole life (admitting she is the person to leave most of her relationships first) and a fear of waking up and not knowing where she is. How ironic, Cher says, that she picked a job where she wakes up in different places most of the time. Cher talks about the hard times living with her mother, how she had to be a grownup from the beginning and yet was also really childish. She calls this her “split personality,” how she can still be savvy and naive at the same time. “I was watching and understanding everything…in a childish way.” She says she saw the fights, the chaos but also the fun and the beauty. She talks about how her love of clothing developed from her mother’s friends, “balls to the walls women” who “the moment they got with a man they got stupid.” (Oy.)  She says of her step-dad, “I loved my Dad. I loved him. They were good for each other in one way and so wrong in another. So in love they were both beautiful he was jealous he was flirtatious he had a drinking problem and violent temper.” She said they had to be on guard and hyper-vigilant because “one drink would be the end of everything.”

Cher talks about meeting Sonny who was wearing a mohair suit, mustard color shirt with a white collar and his Cuban (or Beatle) boots. “He was kind of childish. He got to be real with me. I didn’t expect anything. I didn’t want money. Women his age wanted him to be grownup.” She talks about arts and crafts they would do. “Those ladies didn’t want to do that.” She says Sonny was the first person (other than her mother) who thought Cher could be a singer. She talks about being relegated to the chorus in a Junior High production of The Mikado because she was too high for male parts and too low for girl parts. Cher talks about how she was Sonny’s pal at first, just a kid and how she lied to him a few times about her age. And what she felt for him she never again felt for anyone else. “It wasn’t passionate. I just loved him. He could get away with anything. He was different than anyone else and he made me laugh. We had a dream and we started to try to find this dream. He wanted to be the producer and me to be the artist. I didn’t want that. He had tried to be an artist himself and couldn’t do it.” She admits Sonny might have only been pretending stardom was achievable for them. But that ultimately she believed in his belief. “I’m not sure he knew it. I don’t know with him. His faith made you believe. He would propel me and I would go kicking and screaming.” Harry Smith talks about how well their voices blended and Cher admits “He had the worst voice. Mine wasn’t that much better. I didn’t learn how to sing until 15 years ago.” [Many people during these interviews, including me, contend that Cher’s organic, imperfect voice was just fine, maybe even better.]

Cher talks about how Sonny had to find his way in comedy, how he never learned the script or the songs like she would. He would “crash or fall through it. Then we stared laughing and that was his character.” Smith asks her about the phenom of “The Beat Goes On.” He means “I Got You Babe.” Cher again says, “What belongs to you comes to you.” That leads to talk of the lean times and how Sonny and Cher didn’t know anything about money or taxes. And how you shouldn’t bankroll your own movies. She talks about how the comedic Sonny & Cher schtick began with her banter with the band. “They laughed. Then Sonny laughed. Then the audience laughed. Sonny knew there was something there and we started working on that. It took a long time to get that material. I could kind of be who I was onstage. Not so much off.” Then the TV shows. “Freddie Silverman believed in us….People loved it, loved us” but Cher didn’t know it. She was too busy working. She tells the Sax Fifth Avenue perfume department story where she walked through with the show costume designer, Ret Turner, and “everyone just stopped talking” and Turner said, “This is TV famous.” But then  Sonny started to change, smoking cigars, saying things like “run along.” It took Cher a long time to figure out that Sonny stopped caring about her as a wife. She admits Sonny wasn’t jealous. “He had a million women.” She says she didn’t know. “Of course not.” She tells the story about finding him with another woman when he was working on their movie Chastity. Cher reports that he wasn’t faithful to any of the women he was with. But, just as others have said throughout the years, Cher loved Sonny in spite of everything. They were oddly inseparable. “You couldn’t cut it with a chain saw, our relationship. He couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t understand it. I tried my best to explain it.”

Talk then moves to David Geffen, “the sweetest, most fun. most thoughtful boyfriend she ever had.” It was Geffen who dug out her contracts with Sonny and tried to extract her from them. Cher explains how she convinced Fred Silverman at CBS not to pick up the contract on the show in 1974, thereby ending her obligations to work for nothing. Cher then talks about how over the years she asked Sonny in a variety of ways why he cut her out of the earnings entirely. But he was never able to explain why, other than she would leave him some day. [I wonder if this was his way of saying he needed all the money he could get before his days in show business were over.] They move on to Gregg Allman. “I was madly, madly, madly in love with him. He was so sweet and so gentle and so wonderful and he was a heroin addict. I went through a lot with him but we loved each other.” Cher says that at the end Allman’s best friend told her she were the one. Cher says throughout it all, Allman kept trying. She says if you’re a musician and your boyfriend is a musician, there’s a special essence to the relationship, “a spirit beyond being in love.” Cher admitted she wanted to go back to working professionally with Sonny. But America didn’t go for it. “People didn’t like that we weren’t married and that I was with Gregg. His people hated it and my people hated it.” Cher says her early recording days were “not a good time for female artists,” that she never got to choose her songs and that being a solo artist felt not that much different from being a background singer. “Girls run along. There wasn’t much getting control . It took me a long, long time. Even now I make blunders.” “Doesn’t everybody,” Smith asks. Cher says, “I’ve been in the business too long. I shouldn’t be making any blunders. I’m so trusting. I shouldn’t be.”

The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (18 November 2024) – Interview clipskit

Fallon introduces her by saying, “there’s only one Cher. Icon, legend. (Those pants!) Cher comes out to a standing ovation and asks either innocently or cynically, “Is there a sign that says stand up?” Fallon and Cher do a funny Irish dancing skit. During the interview Fallon talks about his prior ideas for her memoir titles: I Got Scoops Babe, Over-Chering, Breath of Fresh Cher and how he was disappointed with the final result. Cher again talks about parts of her life she wanted to guard, how life is much more complicated than she could explain. Fallon calls Cher “just the coolest. You’re a trailblazer,” how after her failures she reinvented herself. She argues with this. She tells the childhood runaway train story, about how Sonny & Cher couldn’t get traction in the United States because of the way they looked. Of Dia Lupa and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame performance, “I love her. She’s so nice. We hit it off like crazy.” It is here that I learn that Fallon’s house band, The Roots, were the band at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame  ceremony. (This makes sense of the comment I didn’t understand that night. More on that later.)

A few days later, on Thanksgiving, Cher again reappears to do a skit with Fallon where they play The Turkettes, turkeys singing Cher songs.

 

We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle (19 November 2024)

I had just read Untamed. As the podcast begins, Glennon, Abby (her wife) and her sister Amanda sing “Turn Back Time” together. They say they’re breathless with excitement, called Cher “so warm and wonderful.” They’ll focus on emotionally abusive relationships, Chaz coming out and Tina Turner. “The whole thing is so beautiful” Glennon says and calls Cher a “joyful, beautiful person.” They introduce her as “Cher, the icon.” Glennon said she loved the book, it was “so personal” and tells Cher, “it’s such a gift to learn about you as a person.” Glennon talks about memoir writing and “telling the truth while honoring your people.” Of Cher’s book, she says it was “beautifully done.” They talk about how Cher lost herself a bit with Sonny. But Cher quips that she “was 16 and didn’t have much of a self to lose.” They talk about how forgiving Cher is. And how Sonny struggled early on in the TV show and basically became “ a character who didn’t study his lines.” [In some ways I think Sonny made a better rock star than Cher in that way.] Glennon points out that on the show Cher was “allowed to exist in your Cherness.” Cher said “onstage we were equals. He needed me more than I needed him. Offstage, he was not interested in me being a human at all.” Cher talks about how suicidal thoughts happen when your vision narrows and options seem fewer. The task is to figure out wider options you can’t, at the moment, see. Cher says it never before occurred to her she could leave Sonny. She met him when she was sick and he took care of her and it stayed like that, just gradually worsening into a controlling state. “I never thought to rebel.” But she even forgives herself, “I wasn’t ready until I was ready.” They talk about Chaz being born and how “it lifted me up” and the TV show “lifted me up.” “I wish it hadn’t taken so long.” They talk about advice for women in abusive situations, “If you can’t get out, tell a friend, your mom, get out anyway.”

They then discuss Cher’s current boyfriend, Alexander. Cher says, “it’s very settled. We talk about music, friends, hope, God, desires, Slash, our love of things.” Cher says she’s more willing to argue, “I’m good at conflict, I’ve had it longer and I love him. He thinks he gives more. I think I give more.” Cher talks about the things she learned from her real father “Johnnie” Sarkisian (to differentiate from her step-dad, the man she calls her real father, sister Georganne’s dad, John Southall),  They talk about the last time Cher lost her temper (first answer was with her sister and then she remembers a story about a road manager who shut the door on one of the road crew and how Cher exploded. They talk about her acting career. Cher said she loved Broadway matinees and she compares acting (getting small inside and letting things come out, an internal thing) and singing (let your voice come out). Cher demurs that she’s not an example of courage, “just moving forward, never thought of it as courage.”

The Today Show (19 November 2024)

They introduce Cher as an icon with six decades of songs, anthems all around the world, a TV legend, a movie star, a fashion luminary. Hoda Kotb notes that Cher is always 100% unapologetically herself. Cher says, “It was a journey…when I was 27, I was 16.” At 78, “what are they gonna do to me now?” Cher talks about stories of the orphanage. In different interviews and stories, it seems the political figure changes who rescues Cher back to her mother. It’s a congressman here. She talks about how Sonny dressed so well, the bracelet watch he was wearing when they met and how he had the “most beautiful hands and fingers I’d ever seen.” Cher says “fuck” on TV again during the Eastern Feed after Hoda oddly encourages her to and then frets about it after it happens. She initially says, “we’ll bleep it.” Cher says she stayed friends with Sonny “until before he married Mary I guess.” She talks about how David Geffen and John Sykes helped get her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She says her greatest achievement is her children and “not giving up.” She says Katharine Hepburn told her “it gets greater later.” And Cher repeats that “what belongs to you comes to you.”

The Howard Stern Show (20 November 2024)

This was a fascinating interview to me. Stern had been really harsh on Cher after her eulogy to Sonny and I never would have imagined she’d appear on his show. But to Stern’s credit, he’s never intimidated by his guests and pushes them beyond initial answers, which always makes for a more quality conversation.

The interview jumps right in asking Cher about her interactions with Joni Mitchell while Mitchell was living with David Geffen during the making of Court and Spark. And this is also the benefit of a Stern interview, he asks about the cool stuff everyone else ignores. Stern says he can relate to Cher’s mother dramas and “the suffering Olympics.” He indicates her mom might have issues and Cher answered that her mother’s childhood was so horrible. He pushes and they spar on ideas. “<om would go dumb with men,” Cher said, “go Republican if he was.”

Stern admits he both “loved and wanted to strangle Sonny” while reading the book. “Sonny Bono should be in Rock and Roll Hall of Fame” and Cher answers “oh yeah.” They talk about the therapist story (sonny getting intel on Cher through her therapist) and Stern calls it out about how often Cher forgives people (we’re seeing it happen in real time). “You’re so kind to people,” your spirit.” Cher talks about how she felt protective of Sonny during their David Letterman appearance (not distant as Sonny relayed in his book). “He was going there in an emotional way” and Cher felt protective.  Stern says he was shocked by her background. When Cher says The Wizard of Oz was a favorite movie, Stern quips, “Sonny was the wizard of Oz”  and admits he understands that Sonny “really was the color in your life.”

In deeper ways, Stern asks questions about the days with Phil Spector, The Wrecking Crew. Cher admits, “I never had a plan in life” when talking about time with the Spector crew. Sonny told her, “You’re getting a college education,” Cher calls Eartha kit “mesmerizing and wanting to be like Elvis. Her fandom of Bob Dylan, but “All I Really Want to Do” being a monotonous song. She claimed Dylan “loved our version” (over The Byrds’), said it was the best one. Sonny really loved it.” Stern reminds Cher she has sold over 140 million albums. They talk about Sonny’s initial push and how Cher was happy for him to make the decisions. Stern acknowledges that Cher “tried not to make him a villain. Geffen is the real hero of the book.” Cher talks about the musicality of her grandfather, her love of Hank Williams, her lack of musical agency in her career and how girls don’t “take that shit” anymore, how she didn’t know “I Got You Babe” would be a hit but she knew “Believe” would be. She says she wishes she had kept the cleaner shirt cardboards Sonny wrote his songs on. Who would think to but a basson and an oboe in a pop song, Cher says. “Sonny Bono should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,” Stern says again. Cher says, “Well, yeah.” She recounts how Sonny would sing his songs to their arranger Harold Battiste, who was a genius. Later Cher talks about this again, how Sonny would sing his “crazy ideas” to Harold Battiste who would come up with an arrangement. Cher says “Philip did same thing with Jack Nitzsche. “sing down” ideas.

She says that The Rolling stones hated LA. All they met were “suits,” business people. They saw Jack Nitzsche and Sonny and felt they had found their people. They met Sonny & Cher at the Beverly Hilton lobby and began chatting Cher up. Sonny said “That’s my wife.” [But she wasn’t yet.] Cher tells us that Sonny had camera at the London Hilton as they were being told they had no reservation and he took a photo of their names on the register. [Can we get a book of Sonny’s photographs?]

Cher claims S&C had five songs in top 20, something only Elvis and the Beatles had done up to that time. She laments that out of 600 people, there are only 90 women in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She says she is happy to be in there “with all these people I respect.” Stern complains that she should have had a meatier induction speaker than Zendaya (although they like her). Cher defends the Hall of Fame broadcast. “For them it was about TV.” Stern asks her who would have been meaningful to you, Paul McCartney, the Stones? Cher says “Jimi Hendrix – he would have been the one.” She then tells her Madison Square Garden story about meeting him. Stern says, “You love musicians” and then goes into interviewing Gregg Allman whom Stern calls a genius. Like Cher, Stern doesn’t imbibe and they talk about drug usage in rock music. Cher says, “They think its gonna make them happy” and that Allman was wonderful person, sweet and smart and funny. Stern is offended on behalf of Cher for Allman’s nickname for her, Chooch (which he says is slang for vagina). Cher contends Allman “meant it in a loving way. (This is weird, Cher defending Gregg Allman sexism to Howard Stern).

Stern admits the obvious, that every guy fantasied about having sex with Cher and that he personally was embarrassed to watch the Sonny & Cher shows in front of parents. This is something I really like about Howard Stern, how he says what few other men have the guts to say, he has the big balls to be honest even if its potentially embarrassing). Stern compares her solo outfits to a kind of strip show. Cher says Sonny was opposed to skimpy outfits because there were 27 million people watching. She talks about Sonny not letting her play music and after leaving him visiting Tower Records in LA where she bought a bunch of Stevie Wonder records.

“The Beat Goes On” Stern says, “that’s a really good song.” Cher says that song was unusual in that she did her vocal for it first, not like in other duets where they would be standing together. They talk about the Carol Kaye bass line, how she was the only women in The Wrecking Crew and the boys were always trying to fuck with her but she wasn’t having it.

They talk about “Gypsies Tramps and Theives.” “I don’t hate it; I have respect for people who love it. I wasn’t a decent singer until a few years ago. The song was picked out for me. I was told to do it….Nobody cared what I thought.  [I often compare this to other singer’s stories about being asked to sing songs they don’t like and how they had agency to rewrite or rearrange those songs.] They admit “Half Breed” would never be released today. Cher says she doesn’t like her voice on it. Stern says, “I think you sound fabulous” but Cher says she had a hard time sustaining a high note and her tongue would stiffen. She said that produced a “weird sound” and that when she hears the song, “I cringe.” She says the song “I Got You Babe” was manifesting what she and Sonny used to dream about. They talk about the odds of having a hit song, how more talented people do not. Often it entails a special quality. They talk about some of the varied guests on the TV shows: Muhammad Ali, Tina Turner, Kris Kristofferson, Truman Capote, Bob Hope, the Jackson 5,  how she was named one of the10 best dressed women in America. They talk about the road blocks she faced trying to get into acting, how even having the most important friends, “as high as you could go,” didn’t help.

Stern reminds Cher that “Sonny’s show tanked and Cher says, “I didn’t want him to fail. He was hysterical,” funny, that “without Sonny, there would be no Cher.” “Stern asks Cher if she was blasé about the musical career?” Cher says “I am a fabulous girlfriend” as they start talking about Gene Simmons. Stern imagines “guys expect fabulous sex” from Cher and she quickly says, “and they get it.” [Interview highlight, right there.] Of all her boyfriends, Cher says only Val Kilmer left. “I was madly in love with him.” Stern wonders if there is only room for one star? Cher says, “Not true.” They talk about the talent of Gregg Allman, how there were great times and how he was “lovely, interesting and fun and horrible…one of the best singers ever” [I can’t get there]. Stern says her male fans were “outraged he has you. No one should have you.” Cher admits, “They hated us.” Of their duet album Cher says, “he was great. I hated what I did. I was running to catch up with him. I was intimidated.” She says it was not a horrible experience.

Cher says Val Kilmer helped her prep for her movie Mask. Stern says her best ‘fuck you’ was her acting career. Cher talks about how nobody is ever allowed to cross from music to movies and about watching the Silkwood movie trailer in Westwood trailer where the audience stared laughing. Cher says it was “so real” and how her sister stared crying and Cher had to bite her cheek. Then she was nominated for an Oscar. Cher says the nominations are always a surprise. You’re just doing your work, your job. They struggle to remember who won best supporting actress that year and finally come to Linda Hunt.

Cher talks about fighting for Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck. In her mind, he was the only one who could say, “Chrissy, give me the big knife.”[Ok, I see her point now about that.] Cher says if she starts looking at other guys, the relationship is over. “Nobody calls me Cher.” Stern remarks on her nicknames for everybody: Philip, Gregory. She says her sister calls her Stupid, Gene called her Puppy, David called her Sweetheart, Alexander says Baby, Gregory Chooch. [They don’t mention Sonny but he did make shirts and hers was Prima Donna.] He reminds Cher she’s had 17 top 10 hit, #1 hits in 7 decades. She says she  stayed for whole Rock and Roll Hall of Fame program. [Even I had thought he had left.] Stern said he assumed she was the first performer so she could go home and go to bed. Cher said it was a TV show; they know who to put on.” She didn’t force them to let her go first so she could leave.

I was wondering if Stern’s prior comments about Cher would be addressed. The mea culpa came at the end. Cher says she hadn’t wanted to do the interview. She’s rather “eat glass” she thought. She wasn’t going to come on. She said she had heard he had said some mean things about her. Stern says, “I’m sorry. I’m a better man now. I was really fucked up. I’m a pain in the ass.” Then he says he voted for her to be inducted. That he was the speaker for Bon Jovi’s induction. So he apologized and said “I’m contrite.” They talk about Richie Sambora. Stern asks her about musical highlights and she talks about opening for The Beach Boys beach boys, meeting the Beatles, that Bob Dylan blew her away, and she finishes with the John Lennon Harry Nilsson story at the Playboy Mansion.

An Evening With Cher: In Conversation With Harry Smith in New York (20 November 2024)

This was the first of Cher’s traveling “talks” about her book. It was also the only one posted in full online. Cher says she never understands why people stands up when she comes on stage. She and Harry change places. “You’re beautiful” and Cher jokes that it “only took three hours.”  Cher said her Dickinsean, Steinbekian childhood will make a good movie, her skid row mom whose father took her to Hollywood to be the new Shirley Temple. She admits Michael McDonald is her woulda, coulda, shoulda. She says she is a good girlfriend, monogamous, funny sweetish, I’m really good, very supportive. Smith says, “to a fault.“ In reference to a picture of Sonny, Cher says “he hadn’t had his nose job yet.” Cher talks about early living with Sonny, how “girls kept coming over and calling all the time” but that he could be playful with Cher who was just happy to be hanging out with him.

Smith talks about how “All I Wanna Do” turned into a duet. He means “Baby Don’t Go.” Cher admits she doesn’t know her address or phone number. She says, “It’s the house with all the palm trees.” (Seriously, that’s what I used to tell my touristing friends who happened up through Malibu). She talks about how much fun Carol Burnett was, how they were both Tauruses. They kid about her name drops: Richard Avedon (I had such a huge crush on him), Jackie Kennedy. She talks about how Sonny played the roles of father, brother, husband, partner and how there were many girls, how he cheated on those girlfriends with one night stand. She talks about the big breakup that started with Sonny’s signing of a three-year contract in Las Vegas. Cher says she asked Sonny for 50% after the breakup and he refused. Cher talks about the journal she bought Sonny, [some of which are in his own memoir and some Mary Bono sold to a People Magazine months after he died.]

They then take audience questions. The first is about Cher being a gay icon. Cher says they both feel like outsiders. Someone asks if she could go back a decade, when would it be. She says the 1980s were fun but she’s having a great time now. Right after leaving Sonny was both joyous and rough. Someone asks her about her West Side Story performance. She talks about discussing it with Art Fisher who was a genius with chroma key, ahead of his time. She says she was a better singer and actress later, indicating maybe she wishes she had waited to do it later. Another question is which Bob Mackie costume is her favorite. She says the Met Gala dress. What is the biggest misconception the public has about her. She says, “I’m really shy when I’m not working” and that performing is a “way to express myself without having to be vulnerable. I know a lot of actors are shy. It’s one of the reasons we do what we do.” She says singing and dancing is like going to a party at someone else’s house, it’s more fun. Acting is like hosting the party at your own house. The next book will cover her acting career. She says she knew all the studio executives, Jack, Angela, Warren, Mitchell, but couldn’t get a job. When she moved to New York, she lived at 4th and Broadway. She says she doesn’t dress up at home. “I am so ratty at home.  I don’t want to be Cher at home.” Smith pronounces “our undying gratitude for you being you.” Cher quips, “who else would I be?” Smith assures her the book is quite amazing. “Maybe you’ll read it.” Cher jokes, “maybe when I’m old.”

Live with Kelly and Mark (22 November 2024)

It’s Cher Day! Kelly says as she remarks on the buzz and excitement not seen there since the president came. Mark says, “there is more people than I’ve ever seen here.” Cher walks to shake hands with the audience. She’s wearing an oversized gray suit with a hanging chain. Kelly says the book “moved me in ways I can’t express. It was so expansive” Kelly says she can tell Cher doesn’t enjoy talking about herself. Cher says, ”people get mad, upset, sad” and say, “what’s the matter with you, Bitch.” Cher calls bullshit on her reputation for reinvention. “It’s not giving up. I want to keep going.” Kelly jokes about wanting Sonny & Cher to be her birth parents. (were my fantasy parents, too) and about Chastity: “That bitch is living my life.” (I didn’t think that but I wanted to be older than Chaz for some reason and was crestfallen to learn I was four months younger). Kelly says the variety shows set an example for working mothers. They talk about how Sonny was very strict. It took me a long time, Cher says. “A house had to fall on my sister. I don’t have a temper. By the time I was done I was done. I still liked…loved him. We had so much fun with each other.” Kelly defends “Dark Lady.”

 

Cher in Conversation with Darlene Love in New Jersey (22 November 2024)

Cher in Conversation with Stephen Fry in London (25 November 2024) –

These were available online for only a short time while I was in Oakland and I couldn’t get a chance to watch them before they were taken down. Boo.

The Graham Norton Show (30 November 2024)

Cher says she tripped up the stairs in her pants on the way out. We start with Josh Brolin’s story about how backstage Cher confused him with his father, James Brolin who was in her movie Burlesque for a minute. Cher says “I had so much fun that day.” Brolin complains that his dad is like 130 years old. Cher says, “So am I.”  Kiera Knightly is also on and she plays “Believe” on her teeth. Cher amazes at how she hits the notes. Later Cher will tell Knightly that she looks good in her new show and Knightly says “thank you, Cher” with a thrilled look on her face. Cher is surprised Graham read the book. Cher tells women and girls not to give up. They talk about how S&C were huge music stars and Cher says the London Hilton story was not a publicity stunt to her knowledge. [Some bios have said that it was.]  Cher says her first interview were in England. She says she is bad she is with numbers. “Someone has to add up my Gin score.” [Funny that because I just had a family reunion in Joshua Tree and could also not add up my scores. I am not dyslexic. I am just numbers dumb (as my family reminded me a million times in the last few weeks but there are many different types of intelligences: visual, musical, mathematical, logical, emotional) and Mr. Cher Scholar’s cousin kept adding up my scores before I could every attempt to do it during a dice game.] Cher keeps saying “there was no dyslexia in those days” and what she means is the diagnosis.  You can tell Cher likes Josh. He tells good Goonies stories. Goonies is the only reason I like Josh Brolin (oh and Flirting with Disaster). This episode is less a four person conversation than last year’s couch with Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks. Cher tells about her first career nadir, when her “records started dive bombing” and Sonny & Cher went from performing in arenas (first she says stadiums at first….not that big) to just four people in a bar. “Now I’m an icon and legend” she jokes sardonically. They talk about how S&C had no fan boundaries in the 1960s (Sonny told stories himself about inviting fans into the house and Cher talks about this in the book), Fans would dress like Cher and storm the stage and try to rip their clothes off. There was a Cow Palace fangirl, Cher says, who tried to pull off Sonny’s moccasins, one which had his wallet in it. “They wanted a part of you.” Josh talks about reading Cher’s book (or hearing about it) and compares his childhood to hers, both the fun and craziness of living with his mom and the chaos and Cher’s mom. He talks about his memoirs. Cher interjects with “You’re more interesting than I thought.” (Cher’s has been saying a version of this a lot in this round of interviews: Howard Stern, Jimmy Kimmel). “You could be my boyfriend.” This makes the crowd laugh. Josh freezes and says “Let me take that in” and looks at Graham and says “I don’t remember your question and I don’t care.”  Josh talks about his drug history and Cher talks about her Benzedrine story. Josh says he discovered he needed the chaos the drugs created. Cher answered that “I’ve created chaos without drugs.” Josh talks about responding well to women like Cher and his step-mother Barbra Streisand, people who say it as it is.

Cher talks about her final album and praying she can still hit all the notes. Jalen Ngonda sings a song and comes over to the couch afterwards, telling each couch person in turn “nice to meet you” and then when he gets to Cher he changes it to “I love you so much.” I really liked this guy when I explored his debut album after the show. Ngonda talks about discovering old 60s and 70s music at age 11, artists like the Temptations, Motown, Sonny & Cher, The Beach Boys, The Doors and Chicago. I’m sorry but Sonny & Cher doesn’t usually make that list. He talks about Smokey Robinson. Cher says “I love Smokey” and Ngonda says “I love you! I got your 45s at home.”

Cher says something else at the end and Graham says “Cher says the darndest things!” Cher is not always amused by Graham Norton.

Cher in Conversation with Jacqueline Stewart in Los Angeles (2 December 2024)

I attended this conversation. and I’ve also been to many book readings. I can assure you, none (not even David Sedaris) have had a merch table. This was held at the Saban Theater. I bought a tote and a magnet. There was also a program with a good write up saying “Cher’s remarkable career is unique and unparalleled….with her trademark honesty and humor, Cher: The Memoir traces how this diamond in the rough succeeded with no plan and little confidence to become the trailblazing superstar the world has been unable to ignore for more than half a century.” Sara Gilbert sat a few rows in front of us with her son. There were cowboy hats on gay men. And one ironic fur vest. This was also the first book talk I’ve been to with a intro tour video. It felt out of place but my bookish friends didn’t think so. Stewart calls Cher “one of my favorite people; you look incredible.” Stewart mentions the book’s level of detail. Cher talks about the first book she ever read, still one of her favorites, The Saracen Blade, a novel by Frank Yerby that Sonny recommended to her. They talk about early music that inspired her, Hank Williams, Disney’s Cinderella song “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.” They talk about her mom’s premonitions, how Cher’s voice didn’t blend and she didn’t even know about blending. Cher compares her contralto range to  Bruce Springsteen and Paul McCartney. She says performing with Tina Turn was like a “death wish.” Because Stewart is a talking head on Turner Classic Movies, it wasn’t surprising when she said, “Let’s talk movies.” Cher talks about her struggles to get auditions and the irony of her packed shows at Caesars Palace, how she was not happy. “Singing on stage I loved,” she admits, but movie people wouldn’t give her the time of day.  She tried to speak to Francis Ford Coppola about a movie project twenty years ago [this is probably her dream to remake The Enchanted Cottage], and he “just answered me now.” “Altman is a bear’s ass,” Cher says and Sudie Bond was a great actor. “I did two movies with her. She thought I was gonna mug her in the elevator.” [How did Sudie Bond not know know who the most photographed woman in 1970s America was?]. Cher recalls that ” Sandy Dennis said it was the worst audition she had ever seen. Karen Black didn’t like me very much. I almost hit her once. She was such a bitch.” Feeling guilty Cher insists that she shouldn’t “take cheap shots.” She says she told Robert Altman he ruined Popeye. Cher says she was really good at matinees, which were full of little old ladies. Cher says working with Meryl Streep was one of the highlights of her life. Of Mama Mia: “I’m a hired hand in that one.” [So true.] Cher reminds us she is a fan of classic movies and would watch them with her mother. Who were the performers she looked up to? James Dean. Elvis. She often couldn’t relate to the women. Stewart says she’s been told “the dress shouldn’t wear you” and how this applies to Cher. Cher talks about having rubber bands around her shoes and her mother making her wear them to school as a task of humility. Cher talks about her “future body,” how she didn’t fit with the classic beauty ideals but how she “turned my back on it, made own clothes, wasn’t gonna get any place in the regular way, wasn’t a regular girl.” They talk about the respect Cher has now in black and brown communities and in gay culture. Cher says she still feels like an outsider. About the gay community she says, “they never left me. Even when I was down and out. There’s a special place in my heart. So many times I was over. I couldn’t get arrested.” The talk about the Greta Garbo and Marlene Dietrich boldness compared to Cher. How her dress is often a statement of “women’s empowerment.” Cher says, “I wear what I want to wear. I don’t ask permission.” She also advises, “If you have a dream, follow it. You only have this one life. My nine lives are over.” Sara Gilbert’s son keeps standing up and holding the book over his head. Very excited. They talk about areas of Los Angeles, Cher’s hometown, the prejudice she has against The Valley. “I was poor there.” They talk about her industrious mother and Cher’s yearning to go out into the world. “I wanted wheels. I am a work in progress.” They talk about Sonny. Cher says there will always be Sonny & Cher. Stewart talks about Cher’s gracious, forgiving heart. Cher says, “If you get bitter it’s not gonna hurt him.” They talk about David Geffen. If not for David Geffen I’d be sleeping on the highway. Cher talks about him having the phone receiver to his head all the time and their first date where Geffen was afraid Cher would attack him. Cher says she is the “least likely to jump on a man in the universe.” [She might have to fight me on that one; it’s just not polite.]

They then take audience questions (and here I realize we never were given any opportunity to ask questions so who’s questions are they? One question is about Cher’s famous I am a Rich Man quote. Cher says, “don’t pay attention to expectations. You have to become who you are.” Another question is about her recording history and unreleased albums. Cher says she has no idea. “I didn’t even read the book.” She talks about a new album she’s making, half with her boyfriend Alexander Edwards, half with her “Believe” producer Mark Taylor. She touts Edwards as the VP of Def Jam records and how his songs are “so fresh.” She said she had a good time with the Christmas album and that this was the first time she’s asked people to sing on an album. She says she loves Kelly Clarkson and that for the Christmas album, “I don’t wanna sing all that old shit. Can you imagine me singing “Frosty the Snowman?” [Well, yes, I could. You sang “O Holy Night” quite memorably.] Cher tells us “thank you for coming. You were a great audience.” She points out some friends she knows in the crowd and says she looks forward to seeing them backstage.

The Kelly Clarkson Show (3 December 2024)

Clarkson introduces Cher by mentioning her 17 top 10 hot 100 hits. Again Cher gets a standing ovation. Cher gives Kelly one-of-a-kind gloves made for her for Kelly’s celebrity guest wall. Kelly says the real gift was Cher coming. Kelly talks about her guest stint adding vocals to Cher’s 2023 Christmas song “DJ Play a Christmas Song.” Clarkson says, “I love that you let me sing that song with you.” Cher says she wanted it louder like as a duet. Kelly said she took the job to be like a backup singer. Cher says they will redo it. They talk about Cher’s mother living in the Bowery of every city. That her mom had talent but “I just went farther.” Again Cher mentions that there are 600 men in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to 90 women. She said she had fun being inducted and have previously wondered, “what do I have to do?” She says she’s drinking Coke Zero. They mention her most active social media account:Instagram@cher. They talk about her being an employee of Sonny’s and when the split up contractually she couldn’t work. She tells the story of Sonny cheating on Suzie Cohelo and talking to Sonny about it in Paris with Sonny in the bathtub. Cher is asked to list her top five live events:

  • 5 is the 1967 Carol Burnett Show performance singing with Sonny where they met both Burnett and Bob Mackie.
  • 4 is the 1968 Madison Square Garden charity benefit concert for Martin Luther King where she met Jimi Hendrix
  • 3 is David Geffen’s birthday party when she sang with Bob Dylan and Don Henley.
  • 2 is her performance on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1965 with Sonny.
  • 1 is the Take Me Home Tour 1979 because it was the first musical project she did on her own.

They talk about how Las Vegas has changed and how she was ahead of her time with residencies there. She said Sonny once told her it’s as bad to be too early as is to be too late.

Cher in Conversation with Joel Selvin in San Francisco (4 December 2024)

Desert Island Discs (British) (aired 15 December 2024)

This was another great interview because it focused on music and thereby produced questions other interviewers don’t ask and answers Cher normally doesn’t give. (Question 1)  What are the misconceptions? Cher, “That what I wear is frivolous.” She’s says she’s not one thing. She’s shy when she’s not working. She says she used to not like her records. But she’s gotten used to them. “I’m all things, the persona you see and the self you don’t see.” She says she’s been on the road most of her adult life. As for the R&R HoF, she is proud to be in there with people she respects. For each question, she picks a song. For this question it’s “Whiter Shade of Pale” by Procol Harem. “I like the sound. I don’t care what they say. It’s the feeling. Sonny was too middle of the road. He would want to understand the lyrics. I just thought it was genius.” (Question 2) They talk about characteristics of mom, tough, funny, smart. “We fought lots. I never talked back. The way to get her was to stop talking. Give yes or no answers.” She talks about her birth father, Johnnie Sarkisian, who met Georgia during the war and was a good dancer. She says she has his half smile, his lack of temper. Cher says she did like him although he was a mess. “He was who he was, cute, charming, kind. For this segments, she pick “Love Me Tender” by Elvis. Elvis, Cher says, was the “beginning of me knowing what I was gonna do.” She tells the story of seeing Elvis when she was 11 years old. Her mom loved music. Her grandfather and uncle played guitar. They all sang together. She loved Elvis’ gold suit, the drama of his entrance.

(Question 3) They talk about Georgia’s six marriages and how her mom’s girlfriends were her real family. She talks about some of her step-dads: Joe Collins, John Southall, the most crucial dad figure in their lives. She talks about the poverty, eating on the same pot of beans, shoes with no soles. Cher says she’s gone barefoot her whole life, sister that she and her mom have the same voice, that her mom said things in a funny way and had a ridiculous laugh. Cher picks for this segment, “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes,” a song she first heard when she was 4 or 5 years old, before sister was born. (Question 4) Cher talks about being a terrible student, how she only learned by listening, but that she was great at sports and pretty popular. She talks about organizing the Garland and Rooney like performance of the musical Oklahoma. How did it go over? Cher says she just “let it go” and “felt like I had a bad flop.” She choose the song “Evil” by Stevie Wonder but says she could have picked 10 other songs of his. She likes the special lyrics of this one, the concept and believes Wonder is a genius like Beethoven. She says it “felt like liberation to me, the first music [post Sonny] that I got. We became friends.” (Question 5) They talk about her first impressions of Sonny, so electrifying although he was not handsome. He was “unbelievably dressed” and had beautiful fingers, was “really charming.” They talk about her time working with Phil Spector, who Cher says was “21 and a genius. She picks the Spector classic, “You’ve Lost that Lovin Feeling” by the Righteous Brothers. She remembers Brian Wilson, Sonny, Darlene at the session doing backups, Billy (Bill Medley) getting ready to do vocal. According to Cher, “We all stopped. The whole world stopped. We knew this was gonna be one of the great songs.”

(Question 6) Cher tells the “I Got You Babe” story. Cher says “I didn’t think much of this song” when Sonny sang it to her in the middle of the night. But then admits in the studio “it sounded really good.” She wonders how Sonny, “how does he even know the oboe and bassoon?” She said the song had a fresh sound. “I don’t think it’s the greatest record I’ve ever heard” but that “it captured a moment.” She says it knocked “Help” off the top of the charts. Cher says they had sold or hocked everything they had had to get to England. There she was asked for her first autograph. Cher says Sonny was a traditional Sicilian in terms of relationships, that Sonny’s “Dad that way with his mom,” the patriarch. “He didn’t want me going anywhere or to have friends…he didn’t want any escape routes.” Cher says she became used to Sonny taking care of her but then it started to bother her when Sonny lost interest in her as a person. She was also “disappointed and angry, past furious” when she discovered he had taken her half of their earnings. ” I couldn’t work without his permission. I was forced into the contract. I wasn’t home eating bon bons [when they made all that money]. I was there at Motel 6.” But she reminds us again that “without Sonny, there would be no Cher.” And then, here is the kicker. That she would pick this song for the Sonny segment. It seems to almost pain her, too, to say it out loud: “Ugh. ‘I Can’t Make You Love Me‘ by Bonnie Raitt. I love her. She’s a great musician. She’s got a great voice, plays slide like a demon. It’s one of the best love songs I’ve ever heard.” [I got a little verklempt at this part of the interview. This is probably as emotionally raw as Cher has ever been when ruminating on Sonny.]

(Question 7) They talk about Cher’s incredible iconic outfits and her fashion history, the recent exabit of some of them at London’s V&A Museum, the numerous scandals they occasioned. Was that intentional? Cher demurs, “I wasn’t sophisticated enough to know what we were doing” and Bob Mackie was so young. She says they were recycling old Carol Burnett gowns in the beginning. “She had some great gowns too. CBS was always bitching about the costs.” They discuss The Dress, a.k.a. The Naked Dress, The Met Gala dress. Cher says she had to be naked sunbathing to wear it and they had to spray water on it to attach it to her skin so that when she wore it, you couldn’t see the fabric, only the sequins and the mirage was that she was naked just wearing sequins and feathers. They talk about Cher being under the microscope for decades and a part of “unrealistic beauty standards” Cher insists she “plays by my own rules.” That there is definitely a standard to keep up which is not expected of men. But she says, “men in Hollywood are vain” but that they can be “straggly and old. Helen Mirren ages really well, Judy Dench” That leads to a discussion of the “[Franco]  Zeffirelli ladies” from the movie Tea With Mussolini, “ I just wanted to listen. Joan Plowright took her clothes off and jumped into the water.” Cher says she was “sweating vapors” during her scene with Maggie Smith. How did Maggie Smith respond? She said, “Don’t be ridiculous.” They talk about the Silkwood preview and everyone laughing, And like everything, Cher isn’t bitter about that audience response. She calls it “visceral; you can’t argue with it.” But it made her sad. She plays “Minute by Minute” by The Doobie Brothers for this segment. “I had such a crush on him [Michael McDonald]. I should have told him.”

(Question 8) They talk about Cher’s two sons, Elijah and Chaz, Elijah’s heroin addiction, Chaz’s transition. Cher says, “you do your best, be supportive, keep trying. Elijah is so bright, so smart. It hasn’t served him well. He’s above all of us.” [This does seem the crux of the problem. Intelligence doesn’t always engender wisdom.] “Greggory, he tried hard. They’ve got demons. It is what it is.” Cher talks about how freighted she was during Chaz’s transition from female to male. “Chaz is great, a great person.” She says she’s close to both of them. They talk about Cher turning 79 soon and how she’s still relevant. “I like creating stuff” but that the next album will “probably be my last album.” She says the voice runs out. There will come a time when she can’t hit the high notes. “I’ve got great songs. I really want to try my best.” They then talk of sending Cher to the deserted island. How would she manage? Cher admits she doesn’t have any practical skills. Just tenacity. She talks about her deserted island song by saying Sam Cooke and Sonny were good friends. Her song is “A Change Is Gonna Come” which is her all time favorite song. She says there are “people whose voice comes from some other place.  The book would be The Saracen Blade [mentioned above] because it “opened a whole new world, a whole new thing,” starting her on a path of reading. Her luxury item would be an eyelash curler because her mom once said every woman would need one on a deserted island.

L’INTÉGRALE with Éric Jean-Jean (French) (19 December 2024)

Mr. Cher Scholar assisted with the translation and transcription of the questions and French commentary.  One question I had for Mr. Cher Scholar was how do the French consider Cher?. Do they know her? What adjectives do they use? Mr. CS said Jean-Jean, (a name he found funny, from one John-John to another), did not spend any time explaining to the French who Cher is. It was assumed that the French know who she is and her career markers and products.

Jean-Jean states she has sold over 100 million albums, is an “actrice” who has won several Golden Globes, an Oscar and a best actress at the Cannes Film Festival. She has had an incredibly rich career, he says, “une carriere incroyablement riche, trop riche pour un volume.” too rich for one volume. “She called us from the California hotel where she is staying.” (This as Jean-Jean explains later was due to the first Los Angeles fire, the Franklin Fire that came right up to her house in December of 2024.)

They play a piece of “Strong Enough” and Jean-Jean says the book goes up to  about 1980. When are we going to read the second part? Cher says she missed three deadlines on the first book and she hasn’t started part two yet.

Jean-Jean talks about Cher seeing Ray Charles sing “Georgia” on TV. What was going on in her head at that moment? Cher says she was, “on my floor, lets crossed, peanut butter and jelly sandwich” and that it was a “watershed program every day as teenager.” She’s talking about American Bandstand.

Jean-Jean explains that her surname is Sarkisian (it was) which is Armenian. He talks about how her mother worked as a waitress but had a career as a singer and actress in a few films. Was this a complicated childhood for you, Cher? Cher answers, “You think? I love my mom. We fought like cats and dogs. She talks about her birth father’s lack of a temper, her mom’s voice, how her sister has it too, but “me a little bit more.” They play “I’m Your Yesterday,” the duet Cher once did with her mother and Cher tells the story about trying to lip sync it for television but couldn’t tell which parts were her. [I can tell. They are very similar but Cher’s voice is more smokey and syrup and her mother’s is more crystal and champagne.]

Jean-Jean says “your mother married several times. You moved a lot with each new father. How was that for you? Cher says her mom didn’t stay very long. Men come and go. She just remembers the extraordinary beautiful women. Jean_jean says her mother’s childhood was marked by poverty and violence and their heritage is Cherokee, “anglaise, irlandaise, française” and your father, Armenian. That gives you what type of character? Cher says as a child she was “not thinking life is horrible. This is your life going through it.” It was both fun and sad. Her mom’s history was very bad. “Mine was better than hers. I’m an American. That makes me a real mess.” She talks about her trip to Armenia which she says was amazing, a medical supply trip. She says she arrived after the wall fell in 1990. She talks about the picture of her sitting on the toppled statue of Lenin and how “everyone I met was so amazing, gracious. I have Armenian eyes.” She talks about her Armenia relatives, her father her Aunt Roxie.  Jean-Jean notes that Cher went back to Armenia in 1993 to discover her heritage. Jean-Jean says “Did you feel Armenian, like you found your Armenian roots or are you definitely an American? Cher says she is definitely an American woman. But she can be many things. She did feel at home there. “They were so happy to see me. ” She says America is built upon people from other countries.” In Armenia, “everybody looked like me. People don’t go to Armenia like Azerbaijan. They have gas. America never bothered to help Armenia. They have no natural gas. They don’t have anything.”

Mr. C.S. was unsure what Jean-Jean was saying at this point “except arguably the most beautiful woman in the world” or “nobody could argue that they might have the most beautiful women in the world.”

Jean-Jean asks Cher to tell us about how her mother took her to see Elvis Presley when she was 11 in Los Angeles at the Pan Pacific. They talk about Elvis in concert, her seeing him on Ed Sullivan, his gold suit, how she wanted to be like him. Jean-Jean says “you say that your mother was so beautiful that night, the most beautiful woman in the world. Cher says [and I think to differentiate her mother from herself, because she doesn’t consider herself so self-evidently beautiful without a lot of makeup] “those days women could just wear lipstick, mascara, rouge. You had to be beautiful with those three things.” This reminds me of her Desert island comment about the eyelash curler. If you’re that beautiful, that’s all you’d need.

Jean-Jean continues talking about Elvis on stage, his eyes and his hair that matched Cher and how she wanted to be like him. He asks, singer actor or star? Cher talks her grandfather, mother, uncle guitar, how they all sang together and she thought everyone did that, about seeing Dumbo and Cinderella. She says she had no Plan B. She’s not much of a planner anyway. She says due to her dyslexia, she had no academic future. She tells the story about failing the math test. They play “Walking in Memphis,” which Jean-Jean introduces as coming from the It’s a Man’s World album of 1995, originally done by Marc Cohen and the song is about Elvis and that this is the first “choque” of Cher, which neither Mr. C.S. or I knew what that meant. Choque means “shock.”

Jean-Jean notes that Cher was “16 ans” when she left home and worked as a “magasin de bonbons” (at See’s Candy Store) when she met Sonny Bono. Was it in New York or Los Angeles? And what did you feel at that moment? Cher says she met Sonny at Aldos Café, a coffeeshop that was under a radio station in Los Angeles. She says people were all calling to him when he walked in, “Sonny! Sonny! It’s Son! I thought he was special.” She said it was an experience just seeing him. “He didn’t like me at all” but they ended up as pals. Hanging out as friends. He was promotion man with singles and would meet DJs to try to get songs played. “He was very good at it. He had a good personality. Everyone liked him. He was affable.”

Jean-Jean explains that Sonny began working with Phil Spector in the famous Gold Star Studio (I’m amazed the French know all of these details of American music) and you accompanied him. And one day Phil Spector asked you to replace Darlene Love of the Ronettes (this is a mistake, Love wasn’t one of the Ronettes but that is a fine point since all the groups cross-pollinated as needed…however Love mostly sang lead vocals with the Crystals, Bob B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans, and as a solo artist under Spector’s productions.) How did this story happen? Cher said she had no place to go. Sonny offered that she could stay at his apt, “but I’m not attracted to you.” He heard her singing while making the beds one day and started promoting her to Spector after that. She says the experience, “was fabulous” because it was going from The Valley to a studio with the most famous music people. She talks about the songs she recorded there. They play Darlene Love’s song “Winter Wonderland” which Jean-Jean explains is from Spector’s Christmas album of 1963 and he calls this Cher’s debut as a singer.

Jean-Jean asks Cher to recount why she didn’t realize she had a very special voice. Cher says her voice wasn’t good for background  because she was too loud. “I didn’t blend well in the beginning,” [I would argue she still rarely doesn’t.] “I never thought of being a real singer and get paid for it.” Jean-Jean asks her to remember the first solo song she did as Bonnie Jo (Mason). How it’s about being a fan of Ringo Starr? Cher says the DJs wouldn’t play it. They thought it was a man singing a love song to another man at a time when that was illegal. They play “Ringo I love You.”

Jean-Jean wants to know if Phil Spector was already crazy when Cher worked with him in the mid-1960s. Cher says “not in the beginning. He wasn’t crazy. Very eccentric.” She says they had fun together. “His parents were first cousins. He had a great sense of humor.” Cher says everyone in the studio was in their early 20s (except Sonny who was 27). “Everyone was quite young. In my mind everyone was old because I was 16 .

Jean-Jean says Sonny & Cher first found success with “I Got You Babe.” Can you tell me how that song came about? Cher tells the IGUB story. Says their piano at that time was in the living room and they had no furniture. Jean-Jean asks “And when did you realize this was a good song?” ? And Cher says while they were in the studio doing it, everyone came in and was curious about the song and the words. My mom called everyone babe. Jean-Jean plays “I Got You Babe.”

Jean-Jean notes that “you say in the book that Sonny became difficult. You cay Sonny could be hard on you. What happened at that time? Drugs like Phil Spector? [Oh, that’s funny.] Cher doesn’t say anything about drugs [aside from prescription drugs, Sonny didn’t abuse any] but she says “Sonny would take care of everything. I didn’t know about the business world. I was happy to just sing.” Cher says they became famous and that was amazing, But then their careers “went into the toilet.” T

Jean-Jean reminds us that Cher’s book covers the decades of the 1950s, 60s and 70s primarily. You say Sonny was strange. He hired a detective to follow you when you were alone (and Mr. C.S. isn’t sure what is said here but possibly something about Sonny’s two-timing Cher. Cher says she became used to it. That at 16 she don’t think to ask why he was doing what he was doing. “He was fun. I didn’t notice. I was flattered. It’s hard to explain. When I started to grow up, had my own thoughts, he wasn’t going for that.”

Jean-Jean says Sonny also wrote several songs like “Bang Bang” on the second solo Cher album, The Sonny Side of Cher in 1966, a song that had a lot of success in France [I can’t find the French charts. I wish I could as this is my favorite question of the interview]. How did this song come about? Cher says “it was such a strange song. We loved it. It sounds like it shouldn’t be a relationship song. It was a strange take on love.”

Jean-Jean asks her about the French singer Sheila’s version (1966) and the Italian-French singer Dalida’s version (1966). And he plays the original song. [Going to search for those songs lead me down a rabbit hole that resulted in this page, a repository of “Bang Bang” covers.]

Here Jean-Jean seems to be talking about a kind of album from CBS. How did that happen? Mr. Cher Scholar and I think he’s talking about the album encapsulating the nightclub shows, Sonny & Cher Live. He says we’re going to listen to an excerpt of that “mythic show” and we think he means the CBS show. So all of that is getting confused together, more so when he plays “Can’t Take My Eyes off Of You” from their appearance on the Playboy Club show, not the Comedy Hour. This song was not on any album or segment of their CBS show. (the TV shows were not big in Europe so they’re not as familiar with it.)

Cher explains how they lost all our money, started at the bottom again in horrible nightclubs, “People didn’t like us. We dressed like our style before” in some “unpleasant places.” Eventually they changed to a tuxedo and gown but “people didn’t like our music.”

Jean-Jean astutely talks about all the artist of Lauren Canyon, the Beach Boys, Mamas and Papas, Jefferson Airplane (technically true I see from a Google search but I always associate them with the San Francisco psychedelic sound, not the Southern California sound). What was that like at the time? Cher says, “you don’t think about famous people when they’re your friends. ” You’re not in awe of them. You think,  “that’s a great song or Michelle looks great tonight. They’re just your friends.” Jean-Jean continues that she also met at the time Jimi Hendrix and Salvador Dali. Cher says this is just show biz (baby!) and you run into people.

Jean-Jean notes that in 1975 Sonny and Cher divorced. How did you feel at the end of this marriage? Cher says, “He drove me crazy but we were always friends. “My wife could say that” quips Jean-Jean. on stage, Cher says working with Sonny could be so much fun, the best time. “I don’t think two people could get along so well playing around and singing. He liked playing around and I liked playing around.”

Jean-Jean says, now they’re going to play the cut “The Beat Goes On” from the 1967 In Case You’re In Love album (I love that he notes the albums), a song written by Sonny Bono and he asks the audience, have you ever heard any song like it?  After your separation that was a new stage for you, in 1980s you stared doing films. Did you like this new career as a comedian?

Cher says she wanted to be funny and sing since was five. She starts to tell the Mick-Jagger-You-Should-Go-To England story but then corrects it to the Francis-Ford-Coppola-You-Should-Go-to-New-York story (they’re very similar stories as it turns out).

Jean-Jean recounts that Robert Altman gave her the role as a fan of James Dean in a Broadway play. Jean-Jean then recounts Cher’s “remarkable career” in films like Silkwood, Mask, Les Sorcieres D’Eastwick, how she won best actress in 1987 over Meryl Streep and Glen Close (for Moonstruck, which in France was called Éclair de Lune) and then he incorrectly says she played Morticcia in The Adams Family (this was Anjelica Houston, and is a big gaffe) and then goes on to discuss Mermaids which was strangely called in France Les 2 Sirènes. Why two? There were three women in the story.

They then play “The Shoop Shoop Song,” (pronounced choop choop) from 1990. What should we know about that song? Cher explain the movie being the story of the mother of an eccentric family. Cher says it was the story of my sister and my life and my mom, two daughters, one is kind of crazy, a mom trying to make it. She describes the scene where they are setting table with the radio on, singing and dancing. [The movie is not literally their story. It was a novel by Patty Dann and also her MFA thesis from Columbia…but in any case, I  think I now understand this movie.]

We’re coming to the end of the hour Jean-Jean says. He wants to ask about the story of “Believe,” the last song he’ll play from the 1998 album of the same name. He comments on its enormous success, historically the first to use a “novelle technologie,” the vocoder (incorrect, it was a pitch machine later named AutoTune). Can you tell us more? Cher says the verse was never very good. She says the pitch machine was able to you on the note and they played with it.  Let’s listen to Believe, Jean-Jean says. It’s the only song played in full.

Jean-Jean notes that autotune has been used heavily by rappers. My last question, “Do you believe in life after love? [Oy] Cher says, “Yes there is life after love. It’s a strange concept. There is no life without love, you couldn’t live without love. Love is always coming to you.”

Thank you so much Cher.

Jimmy Kimmel Live (7 January 2025)

This marks the 400 TV appearance I have tracked. Wow.

Cher first tells Jimmy Kimmel “you got balls, dude” for what he said about Trump in his opening monologue. I rewatched the show recently in Cleveland with my parents to see what he had said in the monologue. (My mom is a big Jimmy Kimmel fan because he keeps mentioning his staff and labor issues). The monologue seemed pretty typical of his usual monologues so maybe Cher just hadn’t heard one of them before.

Kimmel says, “I take that as a great compliment from you. You do have balls in the spiritual sense. And there’s a lot of that in here (the book).”

Kimmel notes that her book has spent six weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and that it’s very exciting to have her on the show. Kimmel says “maybe it’s annoying to you when people are interested in your life” but that he was honestly interested. For Christmas, does she cook? Cher said she had 26 people for dinner, six she didn’t know (friends of relatives and friends). She says she decorated and there were lots of cute kids there including Slash, the son of her boyfriend, Alexander. Kimmel quips, “I’m gonna try to sneak in there next year.” Cher says she is in possession of Sonny’s popular red sauce recipe that was his mother’s recipe and that she makes it occasionally for Christmas. “Olive oil, garlic and onions and I’m on my way….Son made it great and he handed it down to me.” She hasn’t taught it to others, however. “It is with me. I’m taking it to my grave….which could be any moment.”

Everyone groans and Cher says, “When you’re old, you know?”

Kimmel again notes her book was #1 for six weeks in a row [maybe just four]. “That’s a lot of weeks.” Is Cher surprised. Cher says she didn’t want to “squish it together” in only one volume. With the first one she wanted to see how it was, did she do a good job, would people be interested. She notes the book goes back from her great-grandparents up through the television years. Kimmel asks if there will be three volumes? “Will this interview be part of the next book?”

In a Man Show moment, Kimmel wants to talk about Cher’s losing virginity to guy in Toluca Lake. Do you think we could find the spot? Cher says she doesn’t even remember the guy. “I have people I’ve mentioned and I’m wondering what do they think, like one guy who was very instrumental in helping me to leave Sonny and I wonder how does he feel about it. He was a really good person.” This excites Kimmel and he want to dig him out. Cher thinks he’s in Texas. Kimmel calls out, “Open the fucking book. Guillermo. Go through it real quick. Get him on phone?” No, Cher says.

They talk about Sonny and how she felt equal only when she was working on their show. “I loved it. We loved it. We worked so well together. It kept us closer longer than I really wanted.”

Kimmel trots out the 16 Magazine Sonny & Cher advice column. He decides to ask her a question from it to see if she would respond in the same way. The question is not one of the columns I had found last year, by the way.

[Do show writers scan the internet for interview ideas? This reminds me of the time David Letterman referred to the Cher Historians among us. Are these just coincidences?]

Anyway…this elicited a very annoyed Cher stare.

Here is the question Kimmel reads:

Dear Cher, I have a problem. I hope you can help me. I’m 13 years old. I like a boy who is in my class and he seems to like me but sometimes he teases me. He hits me gently on the face and calls me names just to be fresh. I’m also four inches taller than he is and please tell me how I can get him to be my steady. Unhappy, Ridgefield, NJ

Kimmel asks Cher how she would respond to Unhappy now? Cher says, “Kick him to the curb.” The audience likes this and she smiles. Kimmel then reads the response from the 1960s Cher.

Cher says, “Oh God.”

Dear Unhappy, As I’ve said here many times before, if a boy teases you it’s a sure sign he digs you. Just be good natured about it and give him a nice friendly smile now and again. Sooner or later, he’ll come around. As for being four inches taller (Cher interjects, “nah”) well most girls are taller than boys nowadays. I’m talker than Sonny and he couldn’t care less. In fact, he digs me in boots with medium high heels. Hang in there. Keep trying and you won’t be unhappy for long.

We should hear Kimmel’s response now as opposed to the response he would have given on The Man Show.

Cher shakes her head. “Come on girls. We know that’s not true.”

In that time, they’ve found out the guitarist’s name. It’s Bill. Cher says, “I know.” She’s not willing to share his last name. “Because of him, not me.”

The next book should come out in November but Cher admits she hasn’t started the new book but that she finished this one late too but still hit the deadline. “We’ll see,” Kimmel says skeptically. “November of what year?” Cher says, “I’m a little tardy. I think I’ll be better this time.”

Kimmel says he feels like she can help her and starts to ask rapid fire, random questions. Does she drive a car? Cher says she hasn’t driven in a while but just bought a car and will drive soon. What does her drivers license say? She says it doesn’t show her last name. She had to go to court and get special dispensation to prove she is known by one name. “It’s not easy,” she says. Guillermo pipes in that he wants to do it.

Has she ever been to Costco. Cher says, “I think once.” Kimmel says, “You’d know if you had. May I please take you to Costco sometime. I’d love to take you to Costco.” Cher says a flirty little “okay.” Has she ever played a video game? Yes, she has. Which one and when? “None of your business. A month ago.” Has she ever been on jury duty? Cher says she tried as research for the movie Suspect where she played a lawyer (“doesn’t count,” Kimmel says) but the judge thought she would be too distracting. Who is the most intimidating person you’ve ever met (present company excluded? That gets the Cher stare.

Cher lists Obama, Tina Turner, Ray Charles. If you could turn back time (Cher interjects, “this is so dumb”) what year would you go back to. Cher picks 60. Was it her best year? No, 40 was her best year. She stared to work in film and started to get respect. Why not 40, then? Cher laughs and says 60 seemed like a good number. “When you’re 78, 60 sounds great.”

Kimmel shows a picture of Cher and Jimmy Carter (the one under the street sign) and says they look like they’re having an intimate conversation. Did she know him well? Cher tells the story of The Allman Brothers giving Carter some of his earliest campaign money and how she had dinner with the Carters on their first night in the White House. She starts but doesn’t finish a story about President Carter calling her once for a favor. This turns into the story about why Cher didn’t get along with Johnny Carson, who had her thrown out of a party. And then time is up and Kimmel starts to wrap up.

Cher says, “You’re a lot nicer and funnier than I thought you would be.”

The Jimmy Carter story reminds me that my friend Mikaela recently sent me an excerpt of Amy Carter talking about Cher at the White House and how this was one of her most memorable moments of that time.


If you’ve made it this far, apologies for the likely many typos. I would proof this yet another time but we have to move on to other things, my own review of the memoir, the Hall of Fame week, the new commercial and other upcoming things. So. Much. Stuff.

The I Will Always Love You Chapter

So I finally finished the book last night. Finally! I really wanted to enjoy it slowly. Anyway, lots to talk about. I’ll do a review later, after we go through the television appearances in support of it.

But first I want to talk about the big scene! That action-packed chapter.

First let me just say something about this picture, which is from the back cover of their last duet album. I remember a talk show years ago where the host was showing this photo (somewhat snarkily), indicating Sonny might be a tad fat in this photo. Cher immediately came to his defense, saying something about this is just the way the picture looks, pointing to his…oh wait, I forgot to give us a partial-Sonny-shirtless alert. This guy liked to show off his rug, huh?

Anyway, I have always been fascinated by The Sonny & Cher bedroom, stories that take place in it, pictures of it…I don’t care if the reality was just sleep and reading books. Cher once said most of their lives took place in their bedrooms. And this is one of my favorite pictures of them. There are some pictures of Sonny & Cher that show the real story in a way and I think this is one of them: El Primo with his Prima Donna.

So back to the memoir. Cher often talks about how she wanted to tell stories in this book versus just relay a bunch of facts you could look up somewhere else. This book has a lot of storytelling in short bits but not many scenes dramatically re-enacted over a long period of time.

Except the chapter about Cher breaking up with Sonny. This chapter stands out. Every other chapter operates differently. The other ones are packed with as much life as she can fit into them, often years worth of events in one chapter. But this chapter slows it all down. Is this because the scene is that important in her life? Or is it because this story had the biggest impact on her Sonny & Cher fans and it’s the incident the public is most dying to read about?

Of all the things Cher has done in her life before or after this chapter, this scene feels like the fulcrum. It’s like the birth of Christ in the timescale. B.S. (before Sonny) and A.S (After Sonny).

People have often treated Sonny like an incident, a flash-in-the-pan, at most a kind of a Porter Wagoner figure (not to diminish the bigness of Porter Wagoner), a launchpad for a big female star. But the energy of the book (and Cher’s due diligence in other chapters letting us know all of Sonny’s accomplishments) tells you otherwise. It’s hard to compare this part of the book to the other relationships at the end (Gregg Allman, Gene Simmons and Les Dudek). The Gregg Allman relationship reads like one drawn-out series of many breakups and try-agains, starting all the way back to the first date, which was kind of shocking to read. I mean we all knew there were a few breakups but it seems “he disappeared in the morning” quite a bit. Gene Simmons gets a few packed pages, Les Dudek not much more than a paragraph. We don’t have any scene that dramatically depicts any of those breakup days.

The Sonny and Cher breakup gets its own chapter.

First, it’s important to go back to this same scene in other biographies about Cher. It’s always seemed a bit anticlimactic. Cher at her wits end, on the ledge a time or two, and then announcing to Sonny one night in a hotel that she wants to sleep with The Guitarist.

(In some books, he’s only referenced that way, like Jerry Lee Lewis’ teen wife. But he has a name. It’s Bill Hamm.)

And that was it, nothing like a drawn out episode unwinding through many hours and days and a whole traveling band freaking out in the background.

In other bios it was a short cast: Sonny, Cher and “The Guitarist.”

But in Cher’s memoir, this scene was a legitimate page turner, starting with Cher explaining her loneliness which built up to her ennui around hearing that her best friend and personal assistant, Paulette (and the beginnings of their relationship is fascinating too), was hanging out after their live shows with the whole band in a hotel room. “She’d tell me some variation of ‘I don’t know, go to the bedroom of one of the guys in the band to drink beer, smoke pot, and pass around guitars. It’s not that exciting, Cher.” (274) .

These people traveled and worked with Cher (arguably for her) but she didn’t even know them very well because she wasn’t allowed to fraternize with them. And she wanted to.

I won’t recreate the chapter here (as if I could). But the crush The Guitarist had on Cher is super sweet. Cher talks about performing the song “Superstar,” (which is about a fan in love with a guitarist), and she gives us her thoughts while singing it live: “I’d noticed him playing my riffs back to me one night when we performed…I thought ‘God, he’s really good, and he’s really listening to me.’” (The listening thing is poignant because the only artist Cher had access to at this time, her husband, was most decidedly not listening to her). Unbeknownst to Cher, The Guitarist was nursing a big crush on her, at one point getting caught by Paulette while was trying to render Cher’s portrait on the band’s Etch A Sketch.

(The band shared an Etch A Sketch? I am immediately wondering what I was doing with my brother’s Etch A Sketch at this very moment in the late months of 1973.)

As I mentioned, in the previous stories, the scene only contained Cher, Sonny and The Guitarist interacting. But in reality, the cast was much bigger, full of band members freaking out about what Cher was doing, worried about losing their jobs. David Brenner, the comedian opening for them, was too afraid to tell Sonny. The drama included the whole band, their friends, limo drivers, airport personnel. The scene is surely a movie unto itself.

It’s like Cher crossed the top of fulcrum and then all the chips fell down on the other side and everyone was worried Cher (whom everyone agreed was living an impossible life) was finally making a life decision that was going to lose them their jobs (and in one case, Sonny’s, a hard-won career).

It’s a completely digestible narrative that fully explains why it took Cher so long to change her life and also how she became the strong Cher persona we know today.

So it’s a scene that describes a fulcrum.

But then we return to the title.

All the other titles serve to explain or summarize what follows: Tony Meets Maria, Georgia on My Mind, New York, New York, etc. Most of them are song titles and they work like labels, which is what most titles do.

But then you come upon a title that, itself, works like a fulcrum.

A good example I happened to read the very same day I read this Cher chapter is a poem by Billy Collins titled  “Another Reason Why I Don’t Keep a Gun in the House.”

Fulcrum titles (I don’t even know if they’re really called that but that’s the best I can do right now) don’t work like labels. In a label title you would expect the poem above to be about guns. There’s not a gun mentioned in the entire poem. You’re meant to read the poem and then return to the title and go “ahh yes…I see.” The title is equivalent to the poem, not an introduction of it. The whole point of the poem is answered by the title and only the title. It gives the title a lot more weight and meaning. In fact, the meaning can’t be made without both the poem and title.

Title poems are decorative in comparison. You could read any of the other Cher titles or not. There are no additional or hidden meanings set up between other titles and chapters for the most part.

You read the chapter title “I Will Always Love You” and you think of Dolly Parton leaving The Porter Wagoner Show. Porter Wagoner was really upset with Parton for leaving and she is singing this song to him as both a love song and a fare-the-well, I’m-leaving-your-employment song. You’d expect Cher to similarly talk about how she will always love Sonny even though he had oftentimes been a dick to her.

Nothing like that happens. She doesn’t say that at all. She tells that dramatic story and ends the scene. Then you go back to the title and there’s something extra there. The title renders a kind of judgement on the text, cluing in the reader to something unsaid in the chapter: after all of this, I still loved this person and pretty strong.

Cher is not often sentimental-seeming. Her story about seeing the Silkwood trailer back in the early 1980s is a good example. Everyone in the darkened theater (not knowing Cher had snuck in with her sister) laughed when her name came up on the screen after Meryl Streep and Kurt Russell. Instead of crossing those people off as assholes, she labeled this a unified, visceral response that “you couldn’t really argue with.” Maybe she said “what a bunch of assholes” first and has just never mentioned that part in the retelling. But her story is very grounded in a kind of collective realism and not much her feelings.

So glimpses of these feelings can be very moving. But am I, myself, just a sentimental, sappy. essentialist Sonny & Cher fan overreading a chapter title? Where these titles just stuck on by an editor after the fact?

Valid question. I am sentimental, yes, but am also worried about being sentimental. I could always be over-reaching.

Except that there was a similar song gesture during her interview on Desert Island Discs on BBC Radio. And there was no mediation there with an editor. It was just Cher and the interviewer,  Lauren Lavernehad, talking about Cher’s life in thematic segments followed by a somewhat tangential song (her childhood matched up with an Elvis song, the Phil Spector sessions matched up with “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling”) and then at the end of the Sonny segment, Cher picked this Bonnie Raitt song. She introduces it with an “Ugh” like it took some muster to voice its title, “I Can’t Make You Love Me.”

🥹

As Sonny might say, “Yeesh, Cher.”

Press and Stuff for Cher The Memoir

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I talk about the new Cher book, I’m breaking the posts up into (at least) three parts. The first part (this post) includes the links and artifacts of the book and book review highlights.

Next I’ll do highlights of interviews from television, radio and podcasts that I’ve accumulated.

Finally, I’ll go into my own review notes at the end.

There will also be stray posts focusing on bombshell pieces of the book. I’ve already done one on Sonny not letting Cher listen to music in the house and I have one planned about the chapter where Cher dramatically depicts leaving Sonny for “The Guitarist” in the band.

So here we go. According to Harper Collins, the book will eventually come out in these languages and formats:

French
Amazon FR: https://www.amazon.fr/Lautobiographie-lic%C3%B4ne-pop-Cher/dp/B0D89PLCLT/ref=sr_1_2
This one is currently shipping. I haven’t received my copy yet.

Italian
Amazon IT:  https://www.amazon.it/Cher-memoir-Vol-1-Cher/dp/B0D97PQ8JJ/ref=sr_1_1
I ordered mine from the ES site below because the IT Amazon site gave me an error, but it seems a few euros cheaper at the IT site.

Amazon ES:  https://www.amazon.es/Cher-memoir-Vol-1-Cher/dp/B0D97PQ8JJ/ref=sr_1_3
I received mine almost a week early. It’s in paperback form and some things are strangely untranslated, like the chapter titles and Diane Warren’s lyrics. Although the preface chapter is translated. There has been some snickering about Cher’s bio on the back flap of the book (simply “Cher is a global icon”). I’ll go into that below but it assumes everyone knows who Cher is. The Italian version strikes me as funny (which many things in Italian often do): “Cher é un’icona globale.”

Spanish
Amazon ES but there is still no page for this one, although Harper Collins confirms there will be a Spanish edition.

Mañana!

German
Amazon DE: https://www.amazon.de/-/en/CHER-Die-Autobiografie-Teil-eins/dp/3365009205/ref=sr_1_1
You can purchase this one but it looks like it doesn’t ship until March of 2025.

Portuguese
Amazon ES:  https://www.amazon.es/-/pt/dp/B0DNFZ61F4/ref=sr_1_1?
Only available in Kindle so far.

Mañana!!

The Audio Book
Cher and Stephanie Block read the book which you can get anywhere audio books are sold. Next year they will also release a CD version of the audio book.

News about the audio book: https://www.eonline.com/news/1409267/cher-announces-audiobook-for-her-memoir-and-weve-got-you-on-all-the-details

Get it from Audiobooks.com: https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/cher-the-memoir-part-one/786439

Review Highlights

So now on to the highlights of the book reviews and newspaper interviews, which were all pretty intensely positive. This was both surprising and not surprising since Cher seems most popular as a vehicle unto herself than for any specific piece of work or media effort. She commented to The New York Times that she wouldn’t be reading the reviews because she didn’t want to get her feelings hurt. She needn’t have worried. They’re the best of her career.

New York Times Book Review:
“Her frank autobiography is a testament to resilience…before Twitter morphed into the strange ghost town of X…Cher was one of its finest sheriffs…her confident, confiding new autobiography…her famous contralto has been modulated, but not Autotuned past recognition…America’s melting pot personified, and her long place on the front (and sometimes back) burner of pop culture evokes both the country’s loftiest promises and its worst failures…these 400 pages show the mettle behind the Mackie. Here’s to a sequel with sequins.”

The Washington Post (paywall):
(Louis Bayard)
[This one was a bit catty and overwritten.]
“That the woman may take a while to grasp her centrality becomes the de facto narrative arc of Cher…[the book] had nearly as many ghostwriters as the King James Bible [but] her hearteningly profane voice still emerges…Surely, of all the pop divas in the past half-century, she has been the least concerned with her own reputation….even protesting the very idea of fixing herself in history. Catch her if you can….Then, too, there’s the question of which Cher we’ll be reading about. I have lived through at least four or five…decades later, and to her credit, Cher is able to recover veins of joy [with Sonny]…”

iNews UK:
“Breathless memoir…spares no details and we’re only halfway through her life…the 411 breathless but soberly delivered pages…my, how Part One delivers…eschewing frippery [I had to look that word up], Cher unfurls a life full of Dickensian poverty, mansions with servants, heartbreak, good luck, bad luck, financial chicanery and unlikely events…it’s an extraordinary and extraordinarily cathartic memoir. Even when she’s winning during a journey that defies rational belief, Cher still thinks and acts like the underdog she so often was as a child: only the most flint-hearted could fail to root for Cher. The next forty-something years are barely alluded to. This is more than enough for now.”

The Los Angeles Times:
(Marc Ballon)
“The personification of female empowerment, Cher has done it her way…intelligent, sensitive and engaging…at the center…is the life-changing, tortured, supportive, destructive and co-dependent relationship with Sonny. Without his prodding, vision and drive, Cherilyn LaPierre Sarkisian would likely have never become the fabulous Cher. And without her talent and love, Bono would have likely remained a bit player on the fringes of the entertainment industry…[their] arduous climb back makes for some of the book’s most gripping reading…the memoir soars when Cher writes about Bono, it flags a bit when she discusses her other relationships, [Geffen]…similarly, her reflections about [Gregg] Allman lack depth…these are minor quibbles. [The book] is a fun read, a candid and well-written book…Cher is one of the handful of artists whose extraordinary life merits the extra ink.”

Kirkus:
“The vicarious experience of wealth, glamour, and romance is rarely this much fun. A truly great celebrity memoir…an all-American rags-to-riches dream….[of Sonny] she loved this man, and always will. The story of Sonny & Cher is a story of the ’60s and ’70s, of the growth of the music and television industries, of fashion and celebrity culture, of the evolving role of women in the 20th century. And the skinny on her relationships with music mogul David Geffen, second husband Gregg Allman, and KISS front man Gene Simmons is just as riveting.”

Slate:
(Laura Miller)
“Fabulous…this irresistible book…its candid (yet not-quite gossipy) accounts….despite the involvement with ghostwriters, her voice rings out frank, profane, and delightfully unaffected…it’s the story of Cher’s life and roots before her arrival…that offers the real key to the diva–to bother her personality and her particular flavor of celebrity. Cher begins way back….the misfit cool made Cher a star in the ’60s and ’70s…She was a girl mocked and rejected by the small-minded and provincial, who triumphed in the greater world thanks to her unconventional beauty, her innate sense of style, and above all her authenticity. Even as Cher evolved into a full-fledged diva, her feet never left the ground. So much of the charm in Cher comes not from the stories about other celebrities, but from her vivid memories of childhood, her long friendships with other women, her penchant for cooking big holiday meals for her family. She can turn a phrase and speak the unvarnished truth….Cher was no calculating Madonna or steely Streisand. She played it by ear, like so many of us, taking her knocks with grace and her wins with humility. This makes Cher the best sort of company in stormy times. If she can make it through and thrive, maybe the rest of us can too.”

The Irish Independent  (paywall):
[I could not access this review.]

The Atlantic #1, “What a 16-Year Old Doesn’t Yet Know (paywall):
(Emma Sarappo)
“Cher’s book is a valuable document of a young girl thrust into an adult world. Her current perspective, at 78, allows for frank assessments of difficult situations.”
[I was unable to access the full review.]

The Atlantic #2, “Cher Has a History Lesson for Us All”  (paywall):
(Sophie Gilbert)
“Cher has come to stand for a brassy, strutting kind of survival over the years, and on this front, her memoir is awash in insight and rich in details…a Steinbeckian saga of grim endurance, her life with Bono is a volatile scrapbook of life in 20th-century entertainment…the American musical establishment initially deemed her too outré in her bell bottoms and furs, and then–as the sexual revolution and rock music took fire–too square…in Cher, she offers a persuasive, wry, rousing account of what made her, and what she was able to make in turn…her read of things [luck] understates her sheer force of will–her outright refusal, as with the Oscar dress, to ever be counted out….[on Cher saying she just wanted to tell stories] “and she does, but in a form that can’t help doubling as a broader history–an  account of all the things women have suffered through (casting couches, financial ruin, humiliating public scrutiny) and fought for (authority over their own bodies).”
[I was unable to access the full review.]

The Pinnacle Gazette:
“Extraordinary life story…a survivor against the odds…the grit and determination behind the persona….a figure who has consistently defied mainstream norms and stereotypes…the vulnerability behind her glamorous exterior…the complex web of love, anger and forgiveness intertwined throughout [Sonny and Cher’s] lives…Fame may have been swift for Cher, but it was built upon her relentless work ethic and the desire to create genuine connections….[the memoir] successfully weaves complex tales of personal strife and resilience….her trademark blend of sincerity and cheekiness…one of the most beloved icons of our time. Cher’s larger-than-life personality leaps off the page, engaging readers with her sharp yet warm voice.” This review quotes other reviews:

  • “a riveting tale spun with spontaneity and humor” (Alexandra Jacobs)
  • “in moments of vulnerability, Cher manifests strength, capturing the essence of what it means to be human.” (Gerard Shans)

The Guardian:
(Barbara Ellen)
“Cher is one of the all-time great US entertainment queens…in sometimes unnecessary detail…while reading Cher’s passages about Bono….you’re reminded of her ‘faulty emotional thermostat…she still seems intent on spraying air freshener over Bono’s reputation, reminiscing at great, fond length about their onstage chemistry and banter. You find yourself wanting to scream: ‘Cher, he stole all your money!’

[This and the LA Times review both mention that Cher fails to note that David Geffen later comes out as gay. I’m sure this was intentional.]

“Does it matter? Only sometimes, when, among the forensically detailed recollection, there’s a sneaking sense of the real Cher, the one we’re very keen to get to know, standing behind carefully frosted glass. Still, in the main, Part One makes for a hearty, full-bloodied read: a gusty tale of high-octane showbiz survival from one of pop culture’s true 20th (and 21st) century stars. As it ends, Cher is toying with disco and contemplating acting. Maybe in Part Two, she’ll really let herself rip.”

The Independent :
(Adam White)
“Cher’s flat new book exposes the limits of the ghostwritten memoir….not sounding like ‘her’…saucy without being crude [stories] …her delivery and timing, her way around a punchline.” [The book feels] “oddly stilted…no suspense and silliness, no smack-talk….never quite sounds like Cher. It’s Diet Cher. Lukewarm Cher. Whipped-into-shape-by-an-overzealous-editor Cher. There is a smattering of swear words…and some brief flashes of withering disdain to the drab and unchic among us. But overall the book sis just too conventionally told….ribald jokes are drained of their spiciness…the book seems lost in translation. Absent is the je ne Cher quoi, if you will….The problem with trying to emulate Cher on the page is that her voice is particularly distinct: a dryer-than-dry mis of innocence, bluntness and almost masculine swagger…there’s that deep, silky tone to it, too–something evocative even when transcribed in an interview. It’s as if God wanted to create a voice easily imitable for the world’s drag queens, then worked backwards from there until he made the woman…it’s particularly disappointing because the material is there…[For part two, White wants] “Cher on paper thwacking half of Hollywood. I want Cher being ruthless and mean. I want Cher!”

[So The Guardian and Independent reviews are not positive. But White is clearly a Cher fan and I cannot disagree that the voice in both of her self-penned books is watered-down Cher. White is actually very good at describing that unique voice of Cher in interviews. I just disagree with him that the Cher Voice is what we need here. If you’ve ever heard Cher tell a story at a live show, live talk or give an acceptance speech, there are a lot of gaps there in her performative thinking, a lot of rambling off topic. Alexandra Jacobs of The New York Times might call it a “round of verbal 52 pickup” similar to her old Twitter posts. Reading a book of that would be incredibly difficult for most people. Not something I still wouldn’t buy. After all, I love difficult books. But aside from that, there are biographies out there made up entirely of Cher quotes. You can go buy those. To explain Cher’s story to the world at large, we need more clarity, more narrative organization. And to get this kind of clarity we have to sacrifice Cher’s unique storytelling style and idioms. However much we fans like it, the story of Cher’s life can’t be a frustrating read for everyone else.

The Sunday Times:
(Hadley Freeman)
“[Her] life story is jaw-dropping…prime ministers and presidents are allowed–just–to write multi-volume autobiographies, not pop stars who once sang “The Shoop Shoop Song”…there was some sniggering [at that]. Not even Elton John, not even Barbra Streisand pulled such a power move with their memoirs. Could one celebrity’s life really stretch to more than one book? This, it turns out, was very much the wrong question. The correct one is, is there enough paper in the world to contain a life as jaw-dropping as Cher’s?…Not even Dolly Parton–not even Streisand–can hold a candle to Cher’s cultural dominance. Music, TV, and film: she’s been a star on them all….most celebrity memoirs suggest that the star’s success was all but inevitable, such was the strength of their talent. What comes across in Cher’s was how extraordinarily lucky she was. Talented and determined, no question. But the near-misses are extraordinary….it’s a shame the writing is too often so unlike Cher’s charismatic voice…[but] some laden writing isn’t going to diminish her.”

The Arts Fuse:
(John R. Killacky)
“A compellingly candid chronicle…for over sixty years, Cher’s expansive talents have not only blazed multiple trails, but been amazingly resilient….a hardscrabble life…

Salon:
(Kenneth Womack)
“[Her] story of grit is purely American…a uniquely American story…surviving on pure grit.”

Womack jokes about the back-flap bio “Cher is a global icon….virtually any other celebrity would be required to rehearse a slew of accolades. But not Cher. In her case, it’s patently unnecessary. You’ve always known her.” [We see below that this is, in fact, false. The kids below don’t know her.] Womack describes his first concert, Sonny & Cher at their extended residency at Houston’s Livestock Show and Rodeo (Cher talks about this run of shows in the book).

Hodges Figgis booksellers customer review:
(Alex Diam)
“What a life, what an artist, what an icon!….She’s truly a survivor.”

Rolling Stone (paywall):
[I couldn’t access this review.]

Vulture:
(Justin Curto)
“Stunning stories…Cher has lived many lives–singer, actress, TV host, fashion icon, not to mention wife and mother….

Washington Examiner (paywall/sign-in):
“One of the more likeable qualities of the clunkily titled Cher: The Memoir, Part One, is that its author appears to have taken great delight in writing it. Cher guides the reader through…with chutzpah.”
[I was unable to access the full review.]

Book Reporter:
“Her remarkable career is unique and unparalleled…her trademark honesty and humor…this diamond in the rough succeeded with no plan and little confidence to become the trailblazing superstar the world has been unable to ignore for more than half a century….it is a life too immense for only one book.”

The Sydney Morning Herald:
(Nathan Smith)
“There were many doubters who didn’t believe she could sustain a career on her own…she finally pauses from persevering and looks back…a two-part memoir, one emblematic of the entertainer’s legendary excess and extravagance….inspiring grit and resilience…forced to reinvent in a merciless industry…an unapologetic, electrifying account of the artist’s long refusal to relent as it is a larger story of one woman finally emancipating herself.”

The Daily Illini:
(Bella Schott)
“The sheer amount of information on houses, boyfriends’ families, friends and locations made it difficult to finish all 432 pages. Interesting pockets of stories were hidden in an unfocused memory stream.”

[I suspect this was a young college student review. See below.]

Digital Journal:
(Markos Papadotos)
“This is a life story that needs to be experienced by all fans of music, pop, and Cher. There are so many life lessons that people can learn from this fearless and relentless woman…a bold, unflinching, revelatory book, where she doesn’t hold anything back. It truly captures the conscience of a living entertainment icon, and it humanizes her at the same time. Cher is not afraid to be raw and vulnerable. It is evident that Cher is the epitome of toil, resilience, and she possesses an indomitable spirit. Cher is a woman that has found the means to go beyond the ordinary, and she has expanded and redefined music, arts, entertainment, and contemporary storytelling into what it is today.”

SFChronicle:
(Tony Bravo)
“An unflinching story in an era of big celebrity memoirs…in her more than 60 years in show business she has [been] defined by her ability to find new relevance….frank, funny and defiant….this memoir dives much deeper into the big themes, especially the familial…[she] just kept picking herself up, dusting off her beaded Bob Mackie costumes, and continuing to make a place for herself in the changing culture….some of the best writing is about her developing her image, and the roles masters like Vogue editor-in-chief Diana Vreeland and especially her longtime fashion collaborator Mackie played in creating the Cher look…she takes us along on her journey as she slowly finds the Cher signatures–the voice, the sarcastic stage persona, the hair flip…”

[I feel like I missed some of this in the book.]

USA Today:
(Melissa Ruggieri)
“As expected from someone as divinely unflinching as Cher”

Daily Mail (excerpts):
“The full unvarnished story of her life in a rock ‘n’ roll memoir like no other.”

Celebrity Book Club podcast:
So here are two young girls who do reviews of celebrity books. I was keenly interested to get their take on Cher, as young people who have no Cher-life references beyond “Believe.” But I had to stop listening to the full episode after they had to explain who Elvis was. “He was a singer. You might know him from Lisa Marie and Priscilla Presley’s books.”

They thought too much of the book was about childhood and family. But honestly, they don’t have any references for much that happens in Part ONe. They only know “Believe” and one of them vaguely knew “I Got You Babe.” They said they struggled with the lack of biography on the back flap as well. This goes to show you that even for Cher, time marches on and subsequent new humans have little idea of who you are and what you’ve done.

Reviews posted on the book’s Amazon page that I could not find myself online:

“Her wit and candour shine through as she shares stories of love, loss, and resilience. For fans and newcomers alike, the memoir is a vivid reminder of Cher’s enduring influence and the fearless spirit that make her a timeless queen of the industry.” — Glamour

“A must read.” — Stylist (UK)

“Full of unforgettable memories and insights.” — Cosmopolitan (UK)

A compilation of reviews: https://bookmarks.reviews/reviews/cher-the-memoir-part-one/

It’s interesting to me how many reviewers use the word grit. It’s an unusual word for them all to coalesce around. Was this is the press material delivered with the book? Or is there just something gritty about the book?

Charts

The book made it to the top of the New York Times bestsellers list and on Amazon (where it’s #2 this week).

As of now the Amazon customer reviews are 4.6 out of 5 (of 1,243 global ratings) and the Goodreads score is 4.39 out of five (

Selected Interviews

Every paper or online site seemed to have some Cher-related excerpt or angle from this book in November and December of 2024. It was a typical Cher media frenzy and yet unlike anything since the mid-1970s.

New York Times interview, “Cher Can, and Does, Turn Back Time” by Elizabeth Egan:
“Even in the annals of single-name celebrities–Cher is in the stratosphere of the one percent…she’s been a household name for decades…a soundtrack for multiple generations, whether via vinyl, eight-track, cassette tape, compact disc or Spotify…a gutsy account of tenacity and perseverance….a cultural history packed with strong opinions, boldface names and head-spinning throwbacks…Cher’s voice reverberates with the grit and depth that made her famous…”

This publication actually caught a rare interview with Cher’s sister, Georganne Bartylak, (a witness who I hope one day also weighs in with her side of the Cher story) and it’s her quote that ends the interview very movingly: “She recalled the day when Cher moved in with Bono. ‘I was only 11 and I was crying my eyes out because she was my only sister and we’d been through everything together,’ Bartylak said. ‘I had a big stuffed pumpkin and on it, Cher wrote, “One day you will be proud of me.” 

Bartylak added, ‘I was already proud.'”

The Times:
(will Hodgkinson)
We get a little trip through Cher’s Malibu house and her air of “unmoving calm [it must be the Buddha statues]…ageless as having transcended concepts of time and space.”

Incredibly this interview took place the day before the U.S. election and Cher says, “Id rather slit my wrists, but he’s going to win. It’s hard to understand why.” How did she know? What intel did she have that even door-to-door campaigners didn’t have?

Hodgkinson says he “practically inhaled [the book]” and found himself “in the unusual position of recommending Cher’s own book to her, because it’s a riot: a revelatory, self-deprecating tale…”

“It’s about not stopping,” says Cher. “I was a loose cannon. It took Sonny to see the potential. He was the planner.”

She also elaborates on why she might be a gay icon: “We’re both outsiders, and they’re always there for me no matter if I’m failing, succeeding…They’re funny, outgoing and not afraid to show emotion.”

“You have to remember, nobody looked like me in showbusiness. I didn’t fit in. I had to make my own position.”

She talks about her difficult relationship with directors Peter Bogdanovich and Frank Oz and defends herself as being easy to work with in other films. “Ask everybody…I know when to listen.”

Hodgkinson thinks he can confirm Alexander Edwards is not living in the house, ” I can’t see any men’s clothes lying about in the bedroom.” He compliments Cher’s 1969 album 3614 Jackson Highway as ” a superb example of soulful funky rock, but it bombed.”

Cher says, “I’m not a great singer. I just do what I do.” She’s never done a whole album of songs she’s been happy with.

She talks about Chaz’s transitioning process, that “three months later they were doing it and not telling me…I felt upset and left out.” She also felt UCLA was using the situation as a press opportunity.

She also talks about Elijah and Gregg Allman. “I told him I was sick and tired of him going in and out of rehab and his answer was, ‘But I keep going.’ It was a little bit eye-opening for me. He was trying.”

Hodgkinson detects “some kind of sadness deep within Cher. She’s not your typical sunny Californian superstar. No questions are off limits. There is nobody monitoring our hour and a half conversation, no suggestion that she is trying to protect or manage a personal brand. She just is, with the resignation that brings. You could call it a form of serenity.”

People:
(Daniela Avila)

Entertainment Weekly:
(Maureen Lee Lenker)
Cher talks about how at the end of writing days she would be really tired. It was exasperating and tiring, but not cathartic or healing. The funny parts kept her going. And how the break of the two books came before her acting career because that was “the beginning of a new life for me.” She hints that Part Two has as many highs and lows. “You can’t be an artist and not go through hard times….sometimes it was fabulous and sometimes it was heartbreaking.”

Oprah Daily:
(Charley Burlock)
“Icons are not born; they are built…[the book gives] insight into how she built and rebuilt herself.” Cher talks about working on the book five to seven hours a day. “There are some things that are just nobody’s business, but there are not a lot. I went way past my comfort zone. Way past.”

“People have gotten so much wrong—especially about Sonny and my relationship. I mean, I did my best, like I really tried so hard to make people try to understand it because it doesn’t play well. We were friends, way after we were divorced….I just didn’t hold a grudge…not really.”

Burlock asks her about her confidence in her style…how she didn’t let criticism of her clothes and outfits get to her. She says “because it was stupid and because it had no meaning to me. I mean, my clothes were beautiful. People are still trying to do the naked dress.”

He asks her to elaborate on why she wasn’t interested in drugs and she says, “Can I tell you something? You’re the only one who has gotten it so far: I wasn’t interested….I didn’t want to do cocaine because when someone was doing cocaine they just talked to you endlessly about boring things. If they were doing downers, you would want to go to sleep along with them….I was just like which one of those things is fun?”

And why the lyrics of the Diane Warren song “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me” are so important to her: “I don’t usually quit. I have to be crawling on the ground–and even then, I’ll crawl on the ground and keep going. Because it’s just who I am.”

Burlock: “Well, it’s gotten you pretty far.

Cher: That’s true.

The Cher US Equal Playlist

Ok so I am going to start with the Cher Equal Playlist after all. I still have about 8 chapters left of the Cher memoir.

In other Cher news there has been a fire raging near Malibu and Cher’s house.  The Franklin Fire was stopped apparently but not before Cher was said to have evacuated with her pets. Cher Universe on Twitter forwarded a tweet from Elijah’s wife where flames could be seen from inside the house!

I think the buried lead here is that Elijah’s wife has been allowed back in Cher’s house!

Anyway, Cher published the link to this playlist on her Instagram on Monday, October 14, 2024. It was up for a week or two.

Bizarrely, the song order kept changing from my phone Spotify to my computer Spotify and even from different times checking my phone.

Periodically for the last few years Spotify has beeen picking a female “EQUAL US Ambassador” who then picks a playlist “that celebrates her favorite female artists.”

I had a sinking feeling Cher’s playlist wasn’t going to be permanent so I spent part of my trip to Tucson, Arizona, sitting on a hotel room bed hand-writing the list down into a notebook. The list below is the snapshot from that day. As soon as it was the next artists’ turn, Cher’s playlist did indeed disappear. It seems silly to remove old playlists as fans could have discovered these songs liked by their favorite artists for years to come.

From the program page: “Spotify’s EQUAL program supports women creators by providing a space for them to share their content with the world.”

Why limit the discovery when the whole program is about discovery? It’s not like streaming playlists take up any room.

I think it’s important to give this list some time and a good lookover. It’s always interesting to hear what songs the people we listen to listen to. Cher has been, at turns, hesitant to list out her favorites (for fear of excluding other good artists) and happy to tell you who she thinks is currently pretty good. This list was full of new female artists and songs I didn’t know, plus some iconic chestnuts we all know and some attention Cher gives to old friends.

I lost count and didn’t finish figuring out all the categories, but there were Godlike and spirit songs, badass sentiments, I Love You songs, suffering in love songs, persevere songs, Cher-like songs, songs about depression (at least 3). There was what seemed like a precious hour of girl pop, a clustering of rap songs and the end and a sprinkling of country throughout. There was much less rock music than I would have expected. But many more songs in Spanish.

The whole thing was 4 hours and 22 mins (72 songs) and I listened to the whole playlist on a drive from Albuquerque to Tucson. I have highlighted my new favorites.

  1. Song for the Lonely – Cher (persevere)
  2. True Colors – Cyndi Lauper (spirit)
  3. The Best – Tina Turner (lurve)
  4. Walking on Broken Glass – Annie Lennox (love suffering)
  5. Sisters are Doin It For Themselves – They Eurythmics with Aretha Franklin (badass)
  6. The Boss – Diana Ross (suffering)
  7. Freedom – Beyonce (badass)
    I had actually not heard this song yet because apparently I’ve been living in a hole: “Winners don’t quit on themselves!”
  8. Something to Talk About – Bonnie Raitt (Cher-like)
    Who else but Cher gives people something to talk about her boyfriends?
  9. Try– P!nk (persevere)
    “You gotta get up and try”
  10. Respect – Aretha Franklin (badass)
  11. When We Were Young – Adele (Cherlike)
  12. My Love is Your Love – Whitney Houston (lurve)
    Where have I been that I didn’t know this song better? I love it!!
  13. XXX’s and OOO’s – Trisha Yearwood
  14. Me & Mr. Jones – Amy Winehouse
  15. Valerie – Amy Winehouse, Live at BBC Radio
  16. You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman – Aretha Franklin (an old favorite)
  17. Pushing It Down and Praying – Lizzy McAlpine
  18. Little Bug – The Army, The Navy
  19. Driver – Soccer Mommy
  20. Aint No Mountain High Enough – Diana Ross (another old favorite)
  21. Anything for You – Jordana
  22. Inconsolable – Katie Gavin (country)
  23. feels like home – Fourshee (repeated at the very end)
  24. Clueless – Beach Bunny
  25. Slugger – SASAMI (dance, depression)
  26. Wanted – WILLOW (Cher like, performing)
  27. Reach Out, I’ll Be There – Diana Ross (another old favorite)
  28. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This – The Eurythmics
  29. Proud Mary – Ike & Tina Turner
  30. Saving All My Love For You – Whitney Houston
  31. I’d Miss the Birds – Joy Oladokun (loved this one)
  32. Easy on Me – Adele (Cher life, one of my favorite Adele songs)
  33. August – Noeline Hofman (country)
  34. She’s In Love with the Boy – Trisha Yearwood (Cherlike, all the boyfriends she’s had to explain)
  35. Flowers – Samanta Ebert (Godlike) (love it!)
  36. Sirens – Aly & AJ
  37. Love Come Through – LP Giobbi, Panama (dance)
  38. Soltera – Shaikira (español)
  39. Steamy Windows – Tina Turner (lurve)
  40. How Do I Live – Trisha Yearwood (love suffering)
  41. So What – P!nk (Cherlike, being a rock star)
  42. Rich – Cecily (Cherlike, fame)
  43. I already dug your grave – Alemeda
  44. Two Things – Kelsea Ballerini (country, the paradox of love, this song made me look up Hemmingway poems) 
  45. AGORA – Maria Becerra (español)
  46. HOLLON – GloRilla  (rap)
  47. Raise Your Glass – P!nk (Cherlike)
  48. Bye Bye Bye – Dasha (country, even though the video creeps me out)
  49. Me Lo Merezio – Elena Rose (español)
  50. Chrome – Samara Lyn (rap)
  51. Different Color Stone – Tia Lorine (hip hop)
  52. Flush Em – Monaleo, Kaliii (popular rap song with everybody in the car)
  53. WONDER – Me n u (dance)
  54. FEEL IT – ALLEY CUT
  55. It is the Way – Saweetie (rap)
  56. Joseph – METRUTH
  57. Golden Child – Meghan Patrick (Cherlike, country, stardom)
    Cher & drugs: “The same thing that takes the edge off takes the shine off after a while”
  58. How’s the Weather – Ashley Kutcher (country)
  59. Los Fin De – De La Rose (español)
  60. Kiss My (Ah) – Zoe Ko (Cherlike, badass)
  61. X Las Nubes – Paopao (español)
  62. To Tell You The Truth – Shayen (country)
  63. BI – Sofia Reyes (español)
  64. Once – Hanna Ellis (Cherlike, country, harsh but catchy)
  65. God Who Sees You – Iveth Luna (country, spirit, love it!!)
  66. Thank You – Bonnie Raitt
  67. Here Comes the Rain Again – The Eurythmics (depression)
  68. Tears Dry on Their Own – Amy Winehouse
  69. Private Dancer – Tina Turner (I love Tina but this is the only song I skipped)
  70. Dawning – Yasmin Williams (spirit)
  71. I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt  (old favorite 😭)
  72. feels like home – Fourshee (second time)

While I was in the car the order had 67-69 coming much earlier in the mix. Not sure why.

Here are the artists that appeared more than once.

  • Adele – 2
  • Whitney Houston – 2
  • Diana Ross – 2
  • Amy Winehouse – 3
  • Bonnie Raitt – 3
  • Pink – 3
  • Trisha Yearwood – 3 (I do love “Walkaway Joe” but that’s the only Yearwood song I knew before this)
  • Annie Lennox/ The Eurythmics – 4
  • Tina Turner – 4

Keep the playlists coming please.

Sonny and Leisure Music: The Importance of Music to Conceptual Mental Synthesis

Cher not only listens to music at home now, but she now records music there too.

I just did a blog post about how my Cher and poetry blogs tie together. This is another blog topic I didn’t quite know which blog to post on. It’s related to Cher but also about the creative process and mental synthesis.

Last night I finally got to the point in Cher’s new memoir where she mentions that Sonny didn’t allow her to listen to music in the house. She says “He wouldn’t even let me listen to music” (196). It’s at the half way point. I knew it was coming. I’ve seen all the interviews. But I wanted to read it for myself before I made it my first post about this book.

First, let me say it’s hard for me not to think about the book as a writer as much as a Cher fan, having thought a lot about the best way to tell the Cher story to a wide audience.

Fans might want a lot of things, but non-fans have a lower tolerance for too much detail or Wikipedia facts as Cher calls them.

And it’s important to remember what the book is trying to do and who the intended audience is. I believe the intention is to reveal insights about the main character to the population at large.

And to that rubric I think, like Mary Poppins, the book is pretty much perfect. I’ll go into it all more later, but it’s hitting all the notes. Some of the factual errors are maybe driving some scholars a bit crazy, but I think the reviews have been pretty unanimously the best of her career. Which isn’t surprising really, that her life story would be giving her the best reviews. Cher is really bigger as a character than any media she travels on.

And I really wanted to blog about recent events in date order: the Spotify playlist, the Victoria’s Secret show, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Memoir but I think now we’ll have to do it backwards. The memoir is just so big and seemingly impactful. Every media publication known to man is looking for an angle story on Cher right now. House & Garden is even weighing in.

At 78, Cher is as hot as she ever was. Which is just incredible when you remember all those lean years of fandom.

So why is it taking me so long to finish this damn book? For one, I’m reading pretty slow and taking notes. Scholars are nerds, after all. I’m also reading other books although I’ve done some drastic paring down to accommodate the Cher book. But I also have book club books on deadlines and the new Murakami book I’ve been dying to read. I’m exactly halfway through that one as well.

So Mr. Cher Scholar says I read more than anyone he’s ever met. Which I don’t think is true, really. Book reviewers, for example, spend a lot more of their day reading than I do. I read maybe an hour in the morning and 1-3 hours at night. I mean I also watch some TV every day or so too.

But I think what he might have been driving at was that I read a lot of books at the same time. Sometimes like ten books at a time, I’m embarrassed to say. I picked up this habit in college when I was taking multiple classes and sometimes a miracle would happen when something I was reading in one class sparked off something I was reading in another class and that’s how I came to write a whole essay on one paragraph of William Faulkner’s Light in August as seen through the lens of a Plato theory about pre-knowledge. Maybe my scheme wasn’t entirely accurate in hindsight but it was a good mental exercise and I felt pretty brilliant about it at the time.

Yesterday I had cause to look up what this type of thinking might be called as it relates to music. I’m not good at thinking about music and I think this is why musical mashups appeal to me. How does someone hear one song and then another song and then think they could find an avenue to meld the two together into a collage. It’s a way of thinking I have no access to. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but it’s that spark of the idea and then the sewing together that intrigues me, these conceptual combinations we use for everything from inventing new food recipes to creating basic metaphors. How to show like to like and different to like, how to bring disparate things together somehow into a new thing.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about in joke format.

This comic I saw today is a mashup of Door Dash culture and the myth of babies being delivered by stork. Unless you have a lot of unrelated material floating around in your head, you probably can’t make these connections.

I would even guess the bulk of jokes are created by bringing two unrelated ideas together.

Which brings us back to music and Cher.

I read a lot more than some people maybe, but it is nothing, nothing, nothing compared to the amount of music I listen to every day. Like 6-8 hours of music (a day). I listen to music at work, while I’m cooking, while I’m cleaning, while I’m driving, while I’m decorating for the holidays (which I am not doing this Cher-treeless year).

It seems to me a kind of torture to insist that someone you live with not to listen to music in their own house. Cher is talking about the days before earphones were common. Maybe superstars like Sonny and Cher already had headphones. I keep trying to figure out what Sonny was worried about: was it undue influence working on Cher, his musical prodigy? Was he worried about subconscious plagiarism seeping into his own songwriting? Or was he just annoyed by her musical choices?

None of that matters though because listening to music is a human need in my opinion. I can’t imaging living without it. I wouldn’t do it.

Atul Gawande talks about decline of living standards in his book Being Mortal and what animal sense you could possibly lose that would make your life not as worth living. I definitely think not being able to eat solid food would be on my list. But what about loss of hearing? Loss of sight? I don’t do well with audio books and podcasts because I keep drifting off in my imagination and can’t find my way back to the spot I fell out.

Would I rather give up books or music? Ugh. Unpleasant decisions. I just can’t get there.

But back to my earlier point about mashups: Music is a way of thinking. Very different from reading. But those two things talk to each other, just like anything else: knitting, plotting against ground squirrels, surrendering to ground squirrels and building them a hutch.

I don’t really want to give up anything because they all feed together like hungry squirrels.

Not being allowed to listen to music. Inconceivable! In some ways, Sonny was a genius at being outrageous.

So Much Stuff!

It’s election day. It feels very anxious out there. I’m appreciating any distractions the day has to offer.

And in the Cher-sphere, there is so much to catch up on.

I’m very behind because I just returned from a vacation to Cleveland (a fun one this time), Tucson Arizona, Joshua Tree California and then back through Phoenix. And during that time Cher has been very, very busy.

We’ll need to review it quickly before the Cher book comes out in 14 days.

First, since it’s November we can start listening to the Christmas album again. Some people choose to wait until the day after Thanksgiving for Christmas music, but if you are in desperate need of some pre-holiday cheer, I think it’s okay to indulge early.

There is some memoir news (variations on formats to discuss). We need to recap the week of October 19 with the Victoria’s Secret runway performance, Cher’s Spotify playlist, (which is already down but I captured the songs on a list because I’m a Cher nerd and there’s a lot to discuss around that). We also have the Hall of Fame induction. I was able to attend and see the exhibit at the museum. I’ll review all that along with the Insights video and this year’s program chapter on Cher.

I also want to talk soon about the Cher singles that have appeared throughout the years in Rolling Stone Magazine‘s “best singles” lists. I had to deep dive into my Cher She-Shed to pull out one of the old 1988 lists. Cher songs on those have come and gone and we’ll consider why that is. There’s a podcast out there about “Believe’s” appearance on the latest list.

I also want to start some song spotlights beginning with “Love and Pain” from the Take Me Home album.

While I was digging through my Cher shed, I found some 1970s magazine memorabilia with Cher beauty tips. Since this was a recurring theme in the Ask Sonny & Cher in16 Magazine articles, we’ll look at those.

And then we need to talk about Teri Garr, who has just sadly passed. And the Kamala Harris endorsement video…

In the meantime, Silkwood has just become available on Streaming for the first time with Hulu. It has one of Cher’s best performances under the direction of Mike Nichols and the tutelage of Meryl Streep. If you’re feeling election stress, transfer it for an hour and a half into a movie about sinister corporate malfeasance.

Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine, Part 14

So it’s our Last Dance with Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine. How bittersweet. Fourteen installments (that we know of) and we’ve learned a lot. Or at least I have.

And I have looked high and low for a better copy of this photograph, which cuts off the first question to Cher and, like the last column, some of the words at the far right. But I think we can piece together the idea of most of it.

In this last photo, Sonny and Cher wear shinny shirts and you can see Cher’s big rings. Not a particularly flattering picture of either of them but that’s part of their casual vibe, I guess.

 

If your young life is full of problems there’s no need for you to suffer alone. In fact, there’s no need for you to suffer at all. Cher—and Sonny—want to help you—right here in the pages of 16!

Sonny and I are back again, reading your letters, answering as many as possible, and (hopefully) helping you to solve the problems you encounter in your day-to-day life. If your letter is not here, please don’t feel neglected—there just is not enough room in 16 to answer all of the many letters we get every month. Sonny and I carefully select a cross-section of the mail that represents your most important problems. If your questions aren’t answered this month. please come back next month—for sooner or later you will find your problem and our advice right here in 16 Magazine.

Dear Cher, [Question Missing]

Cher’s Response:

Dear Overweight, First, you should have a simple physical checkup by your family M.D., just to make sure that you do not have a thyroid problem (or any other condition). Your problem is probably just that you [overeat]. That normally is the problem with people who are too fat. On the righthand page you will see an ad for 16’s Popularity & Beauty Book. This booklet is a gem of information for “fatties.” I suggest that you try it. Good luck!

Cher Scholar’s Response:

Ok, I really hope this person self-referred as a “fatty” in their letter and this is why we find this word is in quotes. Secondly, a booklet? I’ve been looking for a booklet? For the love of… The rip-off smell is getting stronger in here.

Maybe this person just has thyroid problem. But this also reminds me of the very funny “glandular problem” bit on  Family Guy. There’s plenty of medical conditions to screw around with our weight: thyroid problems, menopausal problems, some antidepressants, steroids and some blood pressure and diabetes medications can cause problems.

This isn’t the only question we’ve seen on weight issues. This series often seems to be repeating itself for all the disclaimers about hand-picking unique issues from the bulk of letters coming in.

If I think back on all the come-and-gone medical solutions to weight issues over the years given to people I know, it’s disheartening: liposuction, testosterone patches, stomach bands, remember those weird fat-jiggling machines people thought were exercise? Here’s a funny piece about a woman who tested one out in 2016.

If I ever meet Neil deGrasse Tyson, I am going to ask him straight out if he thinks nutrition is still a frontier science. I’m convinced it is.

Anyway, it’s not PC to call people fatties or fatsos anymore. Just a heads up if you hadn’t heard. The old Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour had some fat-suit skits that are now equally problematic, but also still funny. (If you can find them.) People who watched the show remember one of the memes of the skits where a fat-suit character would say a metaphorical food word, like “easy as pie” or “pie in the sky” and the other characters would rub their hands together and say excitedly, “pie!”

Even pictures online are scarce. Here is a picture from the first one, a skit called Detective Fat which made fun of the show Cannon with William Conrad. They also had Jim Neighbors as a guest once and they spoofed Gunsmoke.

Dear Cher, At what age do you think a girl should start dating? Also, [do] boys really prefer girls who play hard to get more than girls who flirt with them? Why are the flirts the first to get the dates? Questions, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Cher’s Response:

Dear Questions, I think 14 is the proper age for a girl to start double-dating. The dates should be for dances and public affairs only. My little sister “Gee,” who is 14 goes to community center parties and chaperoned dances [unreadable] dates. I think that guys like a girl who is a [unreadable] flirt and hard to get. Don’t go overboard in either direction, and remember this: it isn’t the girl who gets the first date that matters, it’s the one who gets the second, third, fourth and fifth. I hope you are that one.

Cher’s Scholar’s Response:

What about the sixth date? And the seventh? And ugh…what kind of flirt should this girl be? What is the missing word?? That’s a crucial adjective we’re missing there! And this could very well be the one single word that could have changed me from a bad flirt into a good flirt!

(And I think we can all agree that if I was a better flirt I wouldn’t have said half the things I’ve said in this whole series of Cher Scholar responses. But then I’m also not qualified to answer any of these questions.)

Anyway, Gee is Georganne, Cher’s beautiful, blonde sister who I’m sure had the pick of many offered dates. Especially being able to says she was Cher’s little sister.

More on this later but playing hard to get is basically a pre-dating game. How long does one have to keep that up? Some people play this game long into a relationship. (I’m thinking of a scene from When a Man Loves a Woman where Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia, long married, go to public places and pretend they don’t know each other to keep their relationship feeling fresh.) There’s also playful fighting that is a kind of flirting. But those games seem safer in a situation where people know each other well. Then again there are plenty of people who would be bored without the chase, people for whom the chase is the point. Then there are other people who see game-playing as an impediment to intimacy.

My theory is the more sensitive a person is, (and sensitivity is a superpower, remember), the less these games might appeal to them. It’s like how spicy foods are explained in the book How Pleasure Works by Paul Bloom. People who have more taste buds on their tongue (not hereditary just randomly), enjoy spicy foods a lot less because the taste is overwhelming on a tongue with more taste buds. (I must have zero taste buds in this scenario.) Those people, turns out, aren’t “picky,” as I was always taught to label such people. They actually have smarter tongues, if you think about it. And therefore, they would rather have calmer food.

And speaking of chaperones, Cher was out of the house at 16. Her mother was working and she was probably dating before that even, unchaperoned. Her time with Warren Beatty was famously unchaperoned. Who knows who else she ran into like that unchaperoned. Because Warren Beattys were like rats in the 1960s. If you saw one, there was probably 50 more running around within 50 yards of you. (Oh dear. I’ll probably run into trouble with that joke.)

Anyway, the tension around flirt or play-hard-to-get continues in the next question and we’ll pick it up again there.

Here’s a fake mugshot photo of the unchaperoned Cher.

Amazon.com: Cher - Teen - Mugshot - 1959 - Photo Poster: Posters & Prints

Dear Sonny, I am a guy who is [13, 15?], and there’s a girl down the street I’m crazy about. She is also in my room at school. She used to like me, but now she doesn’t. What should I do about this problem? Love-sick, Chicago, Ill.

Sonny’s Response:

Dear Love-sick, The worst thing a guy (or girl) can do when someone they like ignores them is to start chasing after that person. They become a nuisance, aside from which the chick realizes she’s got you [unreadable] and there isn’t any excitement or intrigue left. The only chance [you] have is to become a challenge to this girl. Somehow, make your[self] interesting to her and then play hard to get. Don’t be at her beck and call. Let her wonder what happened. She will either [come] around or not, and if not, she’s really not for you. The first [step] towards maturity is to learn to accept the facts of life. It’s like [unreadable] buddy—what is is. 

Cher Scholar’s Response:

I’m sorry. Did I say last week’s Sonny answer on football was the worst advice I have ever heard in my life? I was wrong. This is the worst advice I’ve ever heard in my life.

She’s got you [something]? She’s got you covered? Hornswoggled? Snickerdoodled? Boobytrapped? She’s got you where she wants you? What?

Not to mention that this advice conflicts with previous Cher advise on chasing versus fighting-for and we’re back in the perpetual mess of what to do.

Play the game, don’t play the game. It all comes down to the power-structure. Who is having to work hard at performing the appropriate level of availability around which people (and their level of social power) and at what times in history and with the understanding of which consequences? Because both parties aren’t being offered the same power. It’s not healthy if one person is doing the playing for another person and the person being played to has full control of the relationship. It’s not true intimacy because one person has to hold back or release honesty only in particularly acceptable moments. You can’t be yourself and do this.

If it’s a truly equitable game, meaning both parties trade off the power position, this would seem okay. But I don’t often see that. I see one party (and this could be the boy, the girl, anybody) at a disadvantage.

But even saying that, some people are turned on by that disadvantage and that’s what they’re working out in this lifetime. And that’s them doing them.

How do you know if you’re engaging in power plays? Look at how you treat your friends. Do you treat your lovers with the same amount of respect and give them the same amount of agency? Intimate relationships should work the same way (just with extra benefits). Surely, they shouldn’t be treated worse.

And speaking of relationships, since this is our last question about boys and dating and this has been such an overwhelmingly big theme in this column, let’s finish up on the whole topic with a very problematic Cher song lyric and, ironically, a very astute Sonny one.

This 1979 Cher song, “Boys and Girls,” is from her album Prisoner. It was written by Billy Falcon. To give this song some context, this was when Cher was on the Casablanca label and struggling to introduce some rock music into what was meant to be another disco album. This song suffers from that tug of war.

The lyrics also attempt to take us through the somewhat rough experience of flirting.

Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your toes

Well feeling you’re cool is as good as looking it
Thinking you’re cool is as good as knowing it
Playing it cool is as good as blowing it

[I would argue that feeling you’re cool is NOT as good as looking it.]

You know you can’t spend a dollar, if you ain’t got a dime
You can’t hook a fish if you ain’t got a line
You won’t catch the bus if you’re not there on time

[Hard to argue with any of these statements.]

So go read up your books and sharpen your hooks
Then all you need is money and a mouth full of honey
And if you play your cards right after dancing all night
You won’t have to walk home alone
I said, you won’t have to walk home alone

Boys, you can hang loose and slip up real cool
But if your lady has a love noose she might never let you go

[Love noose?! Ok, now that’s scary.]

And if you think maybe you’re too young
And you just cannot cope, just grab a razor sharp
Pair of cutting shears and cut a hole right in the rope
Snip a hole right in the rope

[Razor sharp pair of cutting shears. Very specific. Scissors are not good enough to extricate yourself from the love noose. Noted.]

Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your toes

Well feeling you’re cool is as good as looking it
Thinking you’re cool is as good as knowing it
Playing it cool is as good as blowing it
You know you can’t spend a dollar, if you ain’t got a dime
You can’t hook a fish if you ain’t got a line
You won’t catch the bus if you’re not there on time

Well if you wake up tomorrow morning
And you can’t remember what you did
Just ring up some of your friends
And they’ll tell you just how low you slid
Oh don’t be ashamed of anything you hear
After all you can’t be blamed when you’re drinking so much beer

[Just how much beer can we picture Cher drinking?]

Hey, don’t worry that what you did just wasn’t right
Just remember, brothers and sisters
After every day’s another night
Just remember, brothers and sisters
After every day’s another night

[Truth, Days do indeed follow nights.]

Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your toes
I said, boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your toes

Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
Oh, from your head down to your toes
Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your little bitty toes

I really miss liner notes. Cher’s album Prisoner was the first Cher album to have them.

But this all seems very bleak to me. Even the music makes me feel tense. And there’s a lot more to shining shoes and powdering noses than is explained here. It sounds oppressive, overly complicated and, quite frankly, an emotional quagmire.

Sonny’s answers have been hot and cold in this series, giving both fair and completely sexist advice. But sometimes he could be very sensible and helpful and simple. When conditions were right, I guess. (When the light of the moon hits the keyhole on the first month of December…) Of all the issues in all these columns about love relationships, I believe the answer can be found in this little, unassuming line from my very favorite (Sonny &) Cher song, written by Sonny, “Somebody.”

“It aint power. It aint freedom.”

If you have relationship problems, the issue probably lies with one of these mindsets. And if you can figure your way out of these mindsets, you’re pretty much home free. We’re all indoctrinated to want to control (or be controlled), to escape (or be discovered), as if that’s all there is to it.

But in an ironic twist provided by Sonny himself, relationships are so much more beautifully complicated than power and freedom or “Boys and Girls.” The problem may be simple and static, but a good result is an amazingly intricate variability.

It aint power. It aint freedom.

Dear Sonny, I am 14 years old and there’s a guy I’m really gone on, but [he] doesn’t know that I like him. My mother heard me talking to [unreadable] on the phone and got mad. She says that I should not like boys [four] or five years older than I am. I stopped talking to this boy [unreadable] missed him very much. Then last week we started talking [unreadable]. Now, I think he is in love with one of my best friends. [What] should I do? Mixed-up, Santa Barbara, Calif.

Sonny’s Response:

Dear Mixed-Up, Some parents are more old-fashioned than others, and the problem can become difficult. As you know, I am older than Cher [unreadable] at first her parents did not take to me. Fortunately, I proved [unreadable] worthy of their daughter. Since this guy you dig seems [hung up on?] another girl, why don’t you just determinedly make yourself new friends. When you do, introduce them to your mom, so [that she] can see that they are nice folks—no matter how much [younger? or] how much older they are than you. Wish you happiness!

Cher Scholar’s Response:

A boy she is really “gone on.” Now that’s an interesting way to say it. She’s lost herself. She’s gone. Sonny says “parents” here but in the stories it’s only Cher’s mother who was upset about the 11-year age difference between Cher and Sonny. But now I wonder who Georgia was with at this time. Was she married at that time? I don’t think Cher’s father was involved at all, quite possibly he was in prison.

Anyway, this is good advice, Sonny. And this was a good question to end on. And a great farewell to our series with the final “Wish you happiness.”

Here is a picture of Sonny  & Cher being groovy to see us off. Sonny is wearing his El Primo shirt. Good grief! Well, as they say, fuck around and find out.

 

Read more Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine

Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine, Part 13

So as you can tell, we are up to the last two  compromised relics of Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine. Both of these final two have portions cropped out of their respective photographs. Plus the angle of the paper on this one makes it a challenge to read. I might just go blind trying to transcribe it for us here. But I’ve tried, where I can, to figure out what the missing parts say. In some cases, the text is pretty much undecipherable.

This one is also an unusual sample because it has stylized  drawings of Sonny and Cher instead of the usual photograph of them. The Cher drawing is pretty swell, but Sonny looks more like Ringo Star on the top and David Crosby on the bottom or “the lovechild between Hal Linden and Cheech Marin” (M.CS).

 

[DO YOU HAVE some personal questions that are crying for an answer? Do  you need heartfelt advice from someone who knows and cares? Do you feel that there is no one that you can turn to or trust? If you answer yes to all of these questions, please don’t despair—because Sonny] and I are really here and we really are going to help you. Each month we carefully read your mail and pick out a cross-section of the most important questions that you ask. If your answer is not here in this issue, please keep looking—because sooner or later we will get around to you and your problem.

LITTLE MISS INNOCENCE

Dear Cher, There is one girl in this town who is a natural hazard to the rest of us—especially me! If she finds out that you like a certain guy, she immediately “attaches” herself to him. Whenever that certain guy is around, she manages to get up close to him, blink her eyes at him and come on like “little Miss Innocence.” She’s really buddy-buddy with the guy I like. What can I do to get rid of her? STUCK, [unreadable city and state]

Cher’s Response:

Dear Stuck, If you’ll read your letter over carefully, you will have to admit that “it takes two to tango” [not that again]. I mean, if the guy is being “taken” by this girl’s act, then he must want to be “taken.” She probably makes him feel super-important and most guys just love that! Why not try fighting fire with fire? Nest time you see him, give him the same treatment. Don’t by gushy, but come on just enough to make him feel that you think he’s a pretty special guy. Sometimes, if you have that special spark in your eyes—it can ignite a fire in his! [In his what?]

Cher Scholar’s Response:

“Get rid of her.” Real mob-boss flirting, right there. Don’t do that. Does eye blinking work? Is that a viable strategy? I thought that was something we did just ironically? I guess post-modernism hasn’t happened yet.

I would say move away from this girl into a more control-group situation, but in high school you can’t always do this. You’re all stuck together. If these were adult office peoples, you could always plan a happy hour while she’s on vacation. Or just not tell her where the happy hour is going on. You know, mean girl stuff.

Hey maybe try this instead: pretend to like multiple guys and even some girls too and short circuit this girl. She won’t be able to keep up. Maybe it will short circuit this guy as well. I mean he has free will, doesn’t he?

And this whole stoke-his-ego scheme that “Cher” is referring to here. I am having a hard time picturing her following her own advice on this one. At least in public she does not at all seem like the type willing to pander to men. But you never know what happens behind closed doors, I always say. And Charlie Rich says that too. People are different in intimate situations, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, sometimes just because.

Cher was madly in love with Sonny and still he had to deal with her continual smart assery, so much that it became their live act schtick and then their television show schtick. Cher’s sass can be seen all the way back to the movie Good Times. She may be enamored with this Sonny guy but she’s not always happy about it or willing to behave. And I love her for that. Do not go gentle into the good night of love!

NERVOUS NELLIE

Dear Cher, I have a lot of friends and I like to meet new people, but whenever I go to my classrooms in school I get nervous! Whenever the teacher asks me something, I just blush and whisper in a low voice. How can I stop feeling that way? SHY IN CLASS, Denmark, Wisc.

Cher’s Response:

Dear Shy In Class, Sounds to me like you’ve got a common ailment known as “stage fright.” It’s a feeling very similar to one most entertainers have when they start out. The only way to beat it is to refuse to let it beat you. The next time your teacher calls on you, take a deep breath—look her squarely in the eye—and force yourself to project your voice so that everyone in the room can hear it. It’s tough to do, at first—but after a few times your fear will fade away completely and you might even find it fun to recite or answer a question in front of an “audience” (especially if you know the answer!) Keep at it—practice makes perfect.

Cher Scholar’s Response:

Just take a speech class. That will shock the fear right out of you. I did theater in high school and found butterflies always had a short shelf life; but nothing prepared me for the college speech class. One guy in the class did a speech on manatees and ended up fleeing the room, never to return. That first speech was a gauntlet! It’s the trenches of stage freight. After that, nothing ever seemed very scary.

But there’s an umbrella to stage fright which is any kind of performance anxiety. I was actually more afraid to answer the phone than I was to get up on a stage and read someone else’s words. Hell, if the audience didn’t like it, maybe it was the script. But answering the phone you had to think for yourself and on the fly! And until I went though a week of being a receptionists where phone answering was unavoidable, that fear never went away. (I still don’t love hearing the phone ring, to be honest.)

But the point is, nobody on the other line really cares all that much. This was the point of a really good Schitt’s Creek scene where the character David Rose was deathly afraid of failing his driving test and his sister Alexis was telling him the driving instructor really didn’t care if he passed or failed. “Nobody cares….people aren’t thinking about you the way you’re thinking about you.” David doesn’t believe her but when the driving instructor arrives, David suddenly notices that it’s just another day on the job for the driving instructor who is wrapped up in his own life struggles and, in fact, does not care whether David passes or fails. This frees up David to pass the test.

Cher infamously had crippling stage fright and sometimes describes fainting and throwing up before her first live shows. This is the whole reason Sonny & Cher even exist as a duo. Sonny knew he was not a strong singer and was only intending to promote and support Cher as a performer. But Cher literally pulled him out on stage with her and for the next ten or so years she performed mostly to him (even on television) to get through her discomfort with live audiences.

Here is what that sounded like (1964).

NOW—OR LATER?

Dear Cher, I am a 9-year old girl. I’m intelligent and fairly attractive. I’d like to order 16’s Popularity and Beauty Book. Do you think I’m too young for it? Should I wait until I’m older? MIXED-UP, Mt. View, Calif.

Cher’s Response:

Dear Mixed-Up, You’re never too young to look, feel and act your best [good grief]. The sooner you learn how, the better. I think that the 16’s Popularity and Beauty Book can answer a lot of the questions you’ll be asking as you grow up. It might possibly allow you to side-step many of the teenage problems that lie ahead. Go ahead, get one (see ad on facing page)! Give yourself a headstart! It’s much better to be too early—than too late!

Cher Scholar’s Response:

We’ll have to agree to disagree here. Yes, Mixed-Up, you are too young. Come on, you’re already mixed up! Reading this won’t allow you to “side-step” any of the girl drama ahead. You’ll just start obsessing over it sooner, when you should be doing things like dancing to records and building forts where you can get down to the business of plotting a takeover of the neighborhood with your girl and boy friends. Play some Yahtzee. Roller skate to the pool. Anything else. I’m guessing you have an older sister or you wouldn’t even know this silly book exists. That said, I keep looking for it on eBay. But don’t you fall for it!

Trust me. It’s fine to be “too late” with all this shit. You will have plenty of time to pour over this beauty and boys book like it’s a tome of scripture instructing you on how to reset your hair after having to pull it out again every goddamn, lovesick day.

The only exception to this is would be if you’re 9 years old and have your hot, sweaty hands on a Cher Makeup Center. In this case you can learn how to roll up synthetic hair and put makeup on a plastic face to your heart’s content. Look how much fun this girl is having!

SEARCHIN’

Dear Sonny, It’s hard to define my problem, but I’ll try. I’m a [member of] a close-knit, happy family. Lately, I’ve been the most [unreadable] guy in the world. I don’t care to join in games with my [unreadable] brothers and sisters, and I’m not happy doing the  [unreadable] things that used to be fun. I feel lonely—even in a crowd [unreadable] my friends at school seem different and childish [unreadable]  don’t know what’s the matter with me. I feel like I’m [searching] for something, but I don’t know what it is! When will I be [unreadable]? DISTURBED, Tucson, Ariz.

Sonny’s Response:

Dear Disturbed, You defined your problem very well! It’s a problem [unreadable]  everyone has to deal with when they make the big step [unreadable]  childhood to young manhood or womanhood. All of a [sudden] you find yourself looking at the world through different [eyes] and things just don’t look the same. The “it” you are [looking] for is you—the real you. The friends who look different [unreadable]  now just haven’t reached the stage of development [that you] have—but they will! Growing up is never an easy thing [unreadable]. (In this hectic world we live in, it’s getting more difficult [unreadable] day!) If you will try to realize that millions of teenagers [all over] the world are experiencing the same inner “growing pains” [unreadable] you are—you won’t feel so lonely. We are all (at one [time or] another) searching for something—and most of us spend [the] time looking in the wrong places. Look within—you’ll [unreadable] what you see. When you find yourself, you’ll know the [unreadable] was worthwhile. 

Cher Scholar’s Response:

I feel like some of the most pertinent parts of this response are unreadable. What will be worthwhile?? What will you see when you look within??

Cher was oddly both immature and overly mature for her age. She admits that when she moved out at 16 years of age she “couldn’t even match socks.” But as the oldest sister in a house with a working mother, Cher says she was also often called upon to do adulting before she wanted to. Someday I would like to hear sister Georganne’s stories about their growing-up years. Which reminds me that part of the big Sonny & Cher entourage we never saw at the time included family members who all spent a lot of time with Sonny & Cher, including Cher’s sister Georganne and Sonny’s first daughter Christy. They all grew up as part of the extended Sonny & Cher family and growing up too fast is often a problem in celebrity families. You could see the hardships of the child/adult transition watching both Chaz and Elijah as they both struggled with the same addictions and crises of purpose many children in Hollywood seem to go through.

I am no expert in maturity so I’m gonna have to pass on this one. I got nothin.

FOOTBALL PLAYIN’ TOMBOY?

Dear Sonny, What do boys think of girls who are “tom-boys”? I’m [unreadable] years old and I love to play football and hate to wear dresses [unreadable] play football with the boys in my home town and that [unreadable] me almost as one of them. I’d trade a new dress for a [pair of] jeans any day! Is there anything wrong with me? DRESS-HATER, Raeford, N.C.

Sonny’s Response:

Dear Dress-Hater, As long as you’re concerned about what boys think about [unreadable]—there is nothing wrong. The popularity of slacks and [unreadable] with the girls of today should show you that there are [unreadable] “dress-haters” around besides you. As to the football play[unreadable] I’m not quite sure these boys “accept you” almost as [one of] them. If I were you, I’d restrain my love for football to the [side] lines and to watching games on TV. 

Cher Scholar’s Response:

Shouldn’t that be “as long as you’re not concerned” Sonny? You’re fine if you’re not concerned?

Okay, there’s probably something very honest about what Sonny is saying here. I appreciate his honest sexism here. But aside from that, this advice is probably some of the worst advice I’ve every heard in my entire life.

I come from a sports loving family and was actually pressured to play sports but I hate running and jumping so…I literally lettered in theater which is, in it’s own way I guess, a dangerous contact sport. But I was often made to attend sporty things like swim meets and baseball games and had to be bribed each time with food because I’ll pretty much attend anything if food’s on the table somewhere in there.

But I found I was willing to get into a sport for friends and lovers. And luckily my friends are like me and also not into sports so that basically leaves boyfriends. If they are into it, I will try to get into it. This was initially a challenge with my in-laws who follow the Kansas City Chiefs. Even the girls. It’s part of their family culture and family events often revolve around the games.  The first few years were rough as I had no idea what was going on and football seemed extremely boring. I would fixate on funny player names (Dexter McCluster) and making jokes about things the announcers would say. Then Patrick Mahommes became the quarterback.  That was a game changer, as they say. He was adorable and often ran like a girl while crushing the NFL with his athletic impossibilities the whole time. It wasn’t hard to become a fan after that. Also, Tyrek Hill used to do cartwheels after touchdowns.

Aside from many, many hetero girls loving football these days, it’s also possible this young girl might be gay. There’s a very memorable clip of Chaz throwing a football with Elijah on one of the Barbara Walters interview specials from the 1980s. We all thought Chaz was a tomboy back in the day. The point is there are many tom-boys, gay girls, trans boys and girlie girls who like football. And some of them play it and even coach it. Quite a few women are making inroads into the NFL as coaches.

I recently had an argument with my Dad about trans athletes in sports and he was saying it wasn’t fair for trans girls to complete with other girls and I did agree with that but I was recommending we rethink sports entirely in a non-gendered way based on weight classes (like we do in wrestling and boxing). You know, the way we should have been doing all this time anyway. In the middle of this my Dad admitted there are women who have shown they are better kickers than men. I said, “That’s great. Can women join football teams now then?” And he said immediately, “No.”

So it’s not about skill or a strength advantage. It’s about gender discomforts in gendered spaces (a.k.a. boys clubs).

And then there’s the fact that Cher is a football fan herself going back to the 1970s. She once described a party where the Fearsome Foursome’s Deacon Jones taught her the game. Throughout the years, she has mentioned still enjoying watching football.

There are many reasons why Sonny’s gender-rigged response does not age well. Arms akimbo to this response, Sonny!

 

Read more Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine

Kiss and Tells and Legacy Building

Cher: The Memoir, Part One Audiobook by Cher - 9780008355388 | Rakuten Kobo India“Why should one’s art then be an achievement? Why not more an adventure?”
— Poet Robert Duncan

We’re all waiting to see how much of Cher’s autobiography is a kiss and tell. She has said time and again that she never wanted to do that sort of memoir and was disappointed that Sonny did so with his.

But why should that keep one from telling their life story? Is that all a life is about? Sex and gossip? What about all the other struggles, joys and actualizations of the self?

Reading Ann Powers’ book on Joni Mitchell, it was interesting to see the point at which Joni Mitchell switched from making new music to legacy-building. This took the form of accepting tributes and re-releasing music in various ways.

Cher doesn’t seem interested at all in legacy building. I think she said as much in an interview last year. But this is part of what any memoir or compilation album or tribute speech or liner note is doing. Because after you’re gone, people will turn to these as points of reference. And sometimes this is because “the great work” itself becomes unavailable or gets misinterpreted as it loses the context of its time.

Legacy building happens differently for politicians and poets and painters and rock stars and actors. But there seems to me different ways you can go with legacy building as an artist:

  1. A relationship tell-all, (not the same as a sex tell-all), especially if you had a life-changing one, like Cher with Sonny. Surely there’s something in certain relationships that were inspiring or in some cases character building. Katharine Hepburn handles this with class and honesty when she talks about Spencer Tracy in her autobiography Me.
  2. Stories of the ridiculous and transcendent things that happened to you. And usually these things happen with people around you who you loved or hated and they experienced these same things too right along side you and so are part of your story. These events are also part of their stories.
  3. The change agents of your life. What or who sent you off at a 90 or 180-degree directions? What were the twists and turns in your before-then otherwise linear plot. These can be situations as often as people.
  4. Your creative problem-solving. All of us have had to do this. It reminds me of poet Frank O’Hara’s obsession with the  process of painting and poetry and determining the difference. How does your brain works to solve problems of your work? What tools did you use to work things out?

In any case, no one can top Sonny’s kiss-and-tell by a sexist rockstar (well, rockstar to some degree…in some minds…in my 7-year old mind). Sonny dropped the mic on this kind of tell-all, in my humble opinion.

He started a sexual relationship with underage girl (who became Cher) and then wrote a whole  book to complain about it. It makes Gregg Allman’s crass comments about his “hot” sex with Cher and other women (“they have two purposes: to make the bed and make it in the bed”) seem downright gentlemanly in comparison.

Little Bites

Little Bites (2024) - IMDbSpeaking of Little Bites, here is a post to catch up on bits and bites of the Cher news we’re behind on.

Lawsuits

Cher and her son, Elijah Allman, have come to an agreement via mediation and Cher has dropped her conservatorship lawsuit. More info:

Cher won her royalties lawsuit against Mary Bono. More info:

Chaz Bono Appearances

Chaz Bono recently spoke in Rochester, New York, at a sobriety event and also discussed his family’s history of addiction and mental health struggles.

Chaz Bono’s new movie Little Bites also premieres this Friday, October 9. Not in my town but the step-and-repeat wall indicates the movie might be coming to streaming on Shudder. I will be able to watch it there.

Watch the Trailer

It looks scary! Reviews have so far been mixed but it has a 70% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The premiere was held in Los Angeles on October 3. Cher is listed as Executive Producer on the film and attended.

You might recognize this jacket from the late 1980s People Magazine picture in New York City. One of my favorite Cher pictures.

Ted Lasso and Cher

Ted Lasso (TV Series 2020–2023) - IMDbThere are few good things I have to say about this shitty, heartbreaking year. But one of them is the time I’ve spent watching an amazing show called Ted Lasso. My family has been prodding me to watch this show for a while now but I didn’t have AppleTV.  The show has a strong foundation of kindness and perseverance and goes against the grain of decades of Machiavellian TV plots. We have been so bombarded with fictional and reality characters showing us all the ways we can be assholes, it’s refreshing to see something that shows us all the ways to not be assholes…and still maintain dramatic interest, as if assholery is the only thing that could.

The show is well-written and full of inspiring sayings like “aint nothing to it but to do it.”

Anyway, it’s was a happy thing that Cher makes a few of the show’s references in Season 2, episodes 7 and 9.

Episode 7 opens with the song “I Got You Babe” played in its entirety to show all is not blissful in the relationship between Roy Kent and Keely Jones.

In Episode 9, “Bones & Honey,” we follow the character Beard through an episode-long adventure not unlike the movie Nobody mashed up with Martin Scorsese’s After Hours. Beard proposes taking some Richmond football fans to the ellusive club Bones & Honey to sneak in as nonmembers. One of the characters is doubtful, saying “even Cher couldn’t get in! Do you believe they did that to Cher?” complete with pitch voice.

Later when Beard does get them in, the characters are amazed, saying “You did what Cher couldn’t do!”

It was interesting to get the show’s read on the cultural meaning of Cher as a person who is normally cool enough to get in anywhere. Like the coolest of the cool.

Sammy Hagar

While I was in Boston, my oldest brother Andrew told me about driving from Champaign/Urbana to St. Louis with a bunch of his frat mates to see Sammy Haggar play a 1983 show at the Checkerdome for an MTV special. Recently I had to make an unplanned visit to Cleveland where my other brother Randy admitted he was also at that show.

I watched the concert on a bootleg recently and was struck by all the big stage props in it, the crane rigging Sammy Hagar climbs up and hangs off of like a monkey, the hot rod Hagar jumps on. It’s a fun show.

But these pieces of staging aren’t that different from Cher’s big shoe and lava lamps, just people designing shows for the last row of their arenas. Instead of dancers hanging from cranes, Hagar just did it himself.

He was just designing a more masculine show and so no one ever accused him of putting a car up on stage to detract from his music or due to his lack of talent.

Funny that.

Cher Show on the Road

New dates have been released for the traveling version of the Broadway Cher Show. I will be seeing one of these in 2025.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony

It appears Cher will perform. Ozzy will not. My Ozzy-loving friend Julie has talked me into attending the ceremony. We’ll be going with my brother Randy (of the aforementioned Sammy Hagar show which is ironic because Sammy Hagar is also attending). It seems Dua Lipa is slated to do the Cher tribute. This is a bit disappointing. I was hoping some older, establishment person would do the honors. But in many ways Cher is all about the future, not the past. But these legend tributes seem to always come from younger artists like Gwen Stefani (except when Steven Tyler did it or, recently, Meryl Streep).

The show will air on Disney+ which is just about the most unrock-and-roll channel imaginable (except that The Mayhem are on Disney+).

Last week the Hall of Fame released a tweet about Cher which was a closer look type thing. They mentioned her “distinctive voice”, “captivating stage presence” (which is way short of the real fact that she always steals focus), her “avant-garde fashion sense” (which is way short of calling out her huge rock-fashion influence), that she is a “generational force” (short for saying we didn’t think she would last this long), her “tenacious talent,” (which sounds great but what does that even mean?), and her “musical versatility” as showcased in the tweet with a short video on…”Believe”). What? “Believe” is important but it is hardly a showcase on her versatility. They should have referenced instead samples of her dance, rock, folk, pop, country, rap, r&b, torch, showtunes, opera, gospel and new wave music. Is that the best they could do?

I am going to this with a bit of skepticism that the Hall of Fame really appreciates Cher yet. This could just be the long-standing chip I have on my shoulder. But I just hope, if nothing else, we get a snapshot of Cher with Sammy Hagar out of this. I could usefully troll some brothers with that.

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