I Found Some Blog

a division of the Chersonian Institute

Dax Shepard and Other Bric-a-Brac

So I’m a little behind. I had a thing. Or two. It was not a pleasant turn-over from 2025 to 2026. Trying to catchup is my therapy right now.

Armchair Expert

I want to start with the Dax Shepard controversy. While I was in Cleveland one morning in January, my sister-in-law asked me if I had heard what Cher said about Dax Shepard. And I answered Who is Dax Shepard? And then I looked him up and I remembered his face right away. I did not know he was the husband of Kristen Bell.

Dax Shepard is an actor who also has a podcast called Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard (and Monica Padman is the co-host). Four weeks ago they interviewed Cher. On the podcast Cher, now infamously, called Kristen Bell “definitely the better half” and said then said, “the truth is, I trust her. So you must have something that I don’t see.”

Cue the hysteria.

It came at the end of a very good interview, I have to say, one that asked some novel questions and went deeper into Cher’s recent memoir than most of the interviews in 2024. And kudos to Dax Shepard (and Monica Padman) for circling back with follow-up questions like a real conversation. I mean he read the book. And had feelings about it!! One of their good questions was trying to nail down with Cher whether Sonny was so restrictive with her for love or for money. No one before had the large stones to ask her that before. And Cher was tactful in the interview except for the question about Kristen Bell, who is one of her friends from the tumultuous filming of the flawed movie Burlesque.

And I think this contrived-seeming scandal detracts from the quality of the interview itself.

I say contrived because Dax Shepard himself brought up the fact that Cher had mentioned prior to this interview that she didn’t believe Shepard was a  good enough mate for Kristin Bell. So Shepard knew the answer before he asked the question and was never at any point offended about it. In fact he said mock-seriously that he even agreed with Cher’s assessment adding that no one was good enough for her. He challenged Cher to list someone she did think was good enough for her. Kristen Bell herself interjects at this point to instruct Cher that Shepard is being self-deprecating.

Is it, of course, a pure example of Cher pulling no punches. It’s also ironic because Cher, more than anyone else I can think of, has been in this position of defending her heart over and over again. Remember Sonny (a relationship that was impossible to explain to people) and Gregg Allman (“nobody understood it”) and all the younger boyfriends. She predictably sees things in men her family, fans and co-workers do not see. And that’s as it should be. We can’t all like the same people. Love is irrelevant to translation and transference. (“Love don’t make things nice” and all that.)

That Cher would put anyone on the defensive about their heart is very interesting.

But it all made me look more closely at Dax Shepard; and he struck me as charming. I woke up early one morning thinking about this whole thing and Shepard’s way of downgrading his stock, (as Bell advised Cher he was doing). At one point, he joked about what a terrible father he was. Bell kept trying to explain him to Cher, his sense of humor.

And all that seems to indicate he might be exhibiting what they call  gray rocking. Not a likely thing for an entertainer to do (they usually try to make themselves bigger) but not unheard of either. Folks today are calling it “reverse catfishing.” Back in the day we just called it self-deprecation. It is, in a nutshell, to undermine or undersell your value…on purpose.

Sometimes people seem like they’re underselling but they’re not. This is to set up an expectation they can come back and defend. Like the bad lover who says, “I’m no good, baby!” Oprah then quotes Maya Angelou to say, “They tell you who they are.” You just didn’t believe it. It’s the bad ones who often do this. The good ones sometimes do not tell you who they are and for a reason.

And that reason could be gray rocking (or reverse catfishing or whatever). It’s often initially a defense mechanism to deflect against unwanted attention from various situations or people, like narcissists, for example, or manipulators or too much affection coming at you that you can’t return or just waiting to see who’s willing to look a little closer (in order to weed out the unserious or unobservant or to confuse the constantly self-promoting).

There’s an Easter Egg effect about it (like those secret doors in video games or DVD home screens that lead to a secret entrance to a fabulous room).

And it can become, like in Dax Shepard’s case, a comedic trick.

I mean I guess. I don’t know Dax Shepard. Seeing him in person with all his real room vibes is a lot different than watching a podcast on YouTube. But he strikes me as a strategic underseller.

It’s a thing. There’s a club. Don’t ask me how I know.

The Cher Zines

The Cher Zines (1, 2 and 3) are back up for sale for digital download only on Etsy.

Cher Weddings

Cher and Alexander Edwards suffered wedding rumors at the end of last year and even some local network news shows picked it up. These never cease, boyfriend to boyfriend.

The Grammys

Cher was awarded a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Grammys along with Carlos Santana, Chaka Khan, Fela Kuti, Paul Simon and Whitney Houston. These were presented at an earlier ceremony on Saturday, 31 January 2026. Cher did not attend but her friend Loree Rodkin did and posted most of the Cher reel on Facebook.

Cher did show up at the Grammys main broadcast on Sunday, 1 February 2026, to give her acceptance speech and present the award for Record of the Year.

I haven’t seen the full show so I’m not sure about the context of her appearance. Was she the only lifetime achievement winner allowed this televised acceptance moment? Was it conditional to her presenting? She wasn’t billed as a presenter ahead of time so that kind of limits the value of her presenting (if that was the condition).

Entertainment Tonight posted her acceptance speech as a short on Facebook.

Apparently there was confusion and Cher said she was going to walk off. As she was walking off the host called her back to present the Record of the Year award.


But then she has trouble reading it probably due to dyslexia and who knows, maybe having the wrong eye-wear in (or out).

She announced Luther Vandross (because his name was on the card) as the winning song. Samples of his 1982 song If This World Were Mine” were part of the true winning song “Luther” by Kendrick Lamar and SZA. Cher corrected the mistake but…cue the hysteria.

See Entertainment Tonight’s YouTube title for the segment:

According to A.I. “the mix-up highlighted the deep connection between the late R&B legend and the winning track.”

See? Even A.I. is cutting Cher some f**king slack!

And A.I. wasn’t the only one, as the Entertainment Weekly roundup shows. SZA defends Cher to Entertainment Tonight later when they asked her if she knew what was happening. She said, “a legend was speaking. That’s what I understood.”

I find it very heartwarming how supportive the black community is even after Cher flubs.

More SZA defending Cher from:

Helen Mirren

Helen Mirren recently won the Cecil B. Demille award at the Golden Globes and in her acceptance speech she provided a list of “women that inspire me” which included Monica Vitii, Ana Manani, Jane Fonda, Bette Davis, Judy Garland and a list of women who can be recognized by just one name: Madonna, Barbra (Streisand I think), Cher, Sarah Jessica (Parker), Meryl (Streep), Kate  (Hepburn I presume), Cate (Blanchett probably) and her “ultimate Goddess” Viola (Davis).

That was nice.

Defining Cher

As I was reading Annie Zaleski’s 2025 Cher book I tracked down some of her sources for quotes I didn’t recognize. That led me to this Elle article from back in 2018, an interview with Cher about her new Broadway musical.

It had some good quotes and conceptualizations by Abbie Aquirre on Cher.

“Have you ever stopped to think about Cher? You are aware of her, of course, the way you are aware of the sun, with its blinding light, its rising and setting. But have you ever considered the totality of Cher—not just the celestial body herself, and not just the epic arc she has traveled, but the sheer range of stellar explosions she has undergone?”

She goes through all the Cher variants: the ones from Sonny & Cher Cher (pop star Cher and then TV star—the Cher, pulling in “30 million viewers” a week), along side the 1960s and 70s solo career Cher.

“Many more Chers followed,” she said, including Disco Cher, Roller-Skating Cher, Punk Cher and Rock ‘n’ Roll Cher. Then Best-Actress Cher working with the likes of Meryl Streep, Jack Nicholson and Nicolas Cage [not to mention the directors]. Then there was Battleship-Thong Cher, fashion icon Cher and much later Autotune Cher.

And this is what I mean when I describe Cher’s performance width as being vaudevillian versus a career of particular depth in one area. (Both are good, it’s just that vaudevillian types are more rare these days since the death of the variety show.)

When Aguirre talks about her feelings interviewing Cher she has an almost existential crisis, “Wait, Cher is also an actual human.” She describes Cher’s strong presence that is also “quiet, still calm, even delicate…open and listening, and thus exposed. If in her work she is an output, in person she is on input. Powerful but not overpowering.”

She says, “Nicolas Cage gets at this quality when I ask him to describe her acting talent. ‘Cher is a person with a huge heart, and that really comes through not only in her music but as a screen performer. She has an extraordinary blend of strength and vulnerability on-camera,’ he says.”

She quotes young Broadway Cher actress, Micaela Diamond, to say about Cher, “To be so vulnerable and yet have the most power in the room, that’s a really hard place to stand in.”

Aguirre decides Cher is “both otherworldly and relatable.”

She quotes Meryl Streep admiring Cher’s “deep, velvet, mature [singing] voice” and to say that Cher’s crooked teeth “made her even more perfect.”

Meryl Streep is one of the few great actresses to defend Cher’s television work: “She made everybody else on TV look like they were trying too hard, pushing. She was so immediate, free, and she was canny about landing the jokes. Skilled, but it was invisible.”

Aguirre covers the trials of Sonny and confirms what Cher says: “Cher walked away with nothing.” And explains how it was worse than nothing.

I wonder if that’s why Cher wore shredded pants at the Grammys Sunday night, to symbolize her eras of poverty. (I kid.) But honestly, I bet the cost of her outfit could pay for my roof that is being replaced right now over my head as we speak.

Yes, literally (and figuratively) my roof is falling down, but at least Cher is still giving me some bits of diversion.

Alive From New York…It’s Saturday Night

For those of you who know me personally, you’ve already heard the news that my mother passed away at the beginning of the year after a long, depressing battle with COPD.

I had been waiting for the new year to write about Cher’s heavily-anticipated 20 December appearance on Saturday Night Live and now somehow those two things have converged.

The episode was a ratings boost for the SNL, whether you believe this was due to Ariana Grande hosting, musical guest Cher or the emotional departure of Bowen Yang, or a combination of all three. Arianna Grande did a great job. She was funny and mastered many different characters. I don’t watch the show very often, but overall it seemed like a good Christmas episode.

Cher only appeared in one extra skit, the Delta Lounge skit, and then Kenan Thomson did a spoof of “Believe” as a corrupt black Santa Claus.

I watched the show live at my brother’s house in Cleveland. My brother, sister-in-law and niece Eliza were there and one of her local friends came over to watch. It was very interesting to see the show with young women. My sister-in-law asked Eliza’s friend if she even knew who Cher was. My family is convinced Cher is a flash-in-the-pan and no statistics or living legend inductions will convince them otherwise.  Alternatively, they could be just trolling me. My family has done that in the past.

But my niece Eliza’s friend did in fact know who Cher was and was decidedly on team Cher because she thought Arianna Grande was too thin and a bad influence for young women because of it. We talked about this at length after the show and looked up pictures of Arianna Grande from years ago. My niece is a huge Arianna Grande fan going back to her early televisions shows so I could relate to what she must have been feeling, having to defend her fandom. This was what Cher fans were doing back in the mid-1970s.

A lot of discussion circled around Cher’s lip-syncing. I am usually pretty good at noting when a Cher song is too close to the album version (“DJ Play a Christmas Song” was an example of this) or when the song may have been re-recorded for the show but Cher makes mistakes in the sing-a-long (“Run Rudolph Run” matched this rubric). But my brother, an occasional live singer himself, found a new tell. He noted one time in the performance when Cher pulled the microphone away from her mouth and the vocal didn’t change to reflect this.

There was plenty of controversy about the lip-sync performances online, too. And what more can I say anyway about Cher and lip-synching or plastic surgery or autotune. Did she or didn’t she? The questions are full of schadenfreude.

I do not need to hear the opinions of other fans and non-fans about Cher controversies. For a lifetime, my own family has needled me with them. They have a particular way of asking about something with an agenda lurking in the shadows of their questions. Like over the years when the Kansas City Chiefs football team loses spectacularly. “How does John feel about the Chiefs losing?” As sports fans themselves, they don’t even need to ask the question. They just like to hear the grieving.

My ambivalence is fully on record (about football, lip-syncing, plastic surgery and autotune). I tend to like live singing, especially on a show that makes so much of its liveness. Even if the singing is not so great. But I won’t exactly rent my garments about all the American Bandstand or Solid Gold episodes of Cher lip-syncing.  Cher has sung live on hundreds of television shows in her lifetime and if she lip-syncs on every show from now until the end of her life, it won’t change the ratio all that much. But then again, the people who remember the days of Cher singing live on television are a dying cohort. And with A.I., the past is quickly becoming a fiction.

So…blah, blah, blah.

During my December visit to Cleveland, (a rush visit because my mother was suddenly declining), I learned a bit of the kids’ new slang: parasocial. For the young whipper-snappers this means a one-sided relationship with famous people who are not in any way socially related to you. I am very comforted by this new jargon because it reminds me of when my friend Christopher visited me when I lived near an Amish community in Pennsylvania. We were driving by some Amish playing volleyball and he said something like, “Imagine living your whole life not knowing who Janet Jackson is!” And I replied, “but instead, they know who their neighbors are.”

I get it, but then I’m Cher Scholar. So obviously I’m a conflicted pop-culture consumer.

So when I watched SNL again with my parents that Sunday afternoon, which was also the last moment of television I watched with my mother ever, I wasn’t surprised that she wanted to cover and recover the issue of Cher’s lip-syncing. My mother never did approve of my Cher obsession. And it’s not because she didn’t watch all of the The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour episodes because my parents faithfully did. She just wanted me to grow out of it. Whether this was because she resented my alternate-universe fantasy of glam-parents or because she was simply annoyed by the frivolity of a celebrity obsession, I do not know.

But when she got wind that Cher might not have sung “live” on Saturday Night Live, she kept asking me about it all afternoon.

Now this was also because she was failing. Mostly alert up to the end, the lack of oxygen and build-up of CO2 in her blood was causing her to forget some things and get confused. She might have just been trying to remember if I had said Cher did or didn’t sing live.

Or maybe she was needling me about it. Like if it was the last thing she did… she would remind me of Cher lip-syncing on Saturday Night Live.

My mother and I had our problems over the 57 years. We were very different people. And those differences often chafed. Even if we had been more similar, the mother-daughter relationship is a strange brew even in the best of relationships. But we had both come a long way over the last few years. My December visit with her was very emotional. We knew the end was coming. And for the last year or so,  whenever I said goodbye to her I would say, “I love you” and she would say, “I love you too…more than you know.”

And I would always be reminded that this was one of my favorite Cher songs. Similarly, after she died I came across an article about Moonstruck quoting Loretta’s recounting of her emotions after watching the opera La Bohème:

“That was so awful. Beautiful. Sad. She died.”

And the end was indeed awful, in all the ways.

My parents didn’t laugh at any of SNL skits or seem to register seeing the show (or Cher) at all. (And they watched SNL every week.) But then again they don’t seem to watch television anymore the way the rest of us do. They can never seem to consistently remember what they have just seen even a few minutes later. It’s like they’re in their own world of dreams while the television is on.

Two Saturdays later, my mother would be gone.

These last five years have been harrowing for the family, not least of all for my mother. We’ve been up and down on a neverending roller coaster since she contracted COVID back in November of 2019. She miraculously survived that and then things were looking up. Then things were not looking good again and it was a reeling see-saw month to month. We couldn’t seem to keep a direction in sight for longer than a few weeks, good or bad. It was an endless and laborious and heartbreaking switching back and forth. It wore us all down. It wore her down terribly. She was getting better. She was getting worse. There was hope. There was no hope. She was giving up. She was fighting on. Deciding how to be in that world was hard enough but somehow manageable. It was the constant switchbacks. Years of switchbacks.

 

No, I do not obsess over lip-syncing or plastic surgery or autotune. But what I have always obsessed about is the truth. Let us all acknowledge that which is true. Just be honest about it. Like Zack Bagans’ Haunted Museum in Las Vegas, Nevada. Just cop to your amazing, next-level haunted house and drop the whole museum thing. Just own whatever it is you are doing.

I get fatigued. Especially lately around so many who can’t seem to do that. I’ve also been run down by those who can’t seem to keep track of the things I’ve said. Because after this whole thing, I have no energy left to keep repeating myself. So when for the third time during watching Saturday Night Live when my mother asked me “Did Cher sing?” I responded with a combination of frustration, futility and (in hindsight) maybe even some unintentional kindness.

In the face of her suffocating death and confusion and fear and all the insurmountable loneliness to come and the sad state of world affairs today with all the lies and obfuscations (from even those who happen to love us so), what does it even matter what truth is anymore?

So when my mother asked me for the third time “Did Cher sing? I just said, “Yeah mom, she sang.”

2025 Cher Books

As I said earlier, the fall of 2024 through 2025 was a very welcome, embarrassment-of-riches vis-a-vis Cher books.

I am reminded of something Sonny said in his memoir, that he could gauge how well Sonny & Cher were doing as an act by the way the hotels where they performed received them. If they made money for the hotel, they would be received more deferentially.

And similarly, I think you can tell how healthy a career legacy is doing judging by the quality of the writing from people who write about you. As Cher’s reputation has iconified over the last 10-15 years, the quality of mass media writing about her has improved measurably. Although this is getting harder to parse during the age of A.I. I’m not talking about grammar and sentence structure necessarily but also the thinking itself being done to conceptualize Cher as a performer, and also where this writing appears, not in A.I. results but in the mass media press.

These two books are a good example of that.

I Got You Babe: A Celebration of Cher by Annie Zaleski

By the way, Annie Zaleski also did the Cher chapter in the Hall of Fame program from 2024.

This slick-designed book of photographs and mini essays is a great overview of the Cher-universe for those who don’t have the patience to read her bios or memoirs. There’s a fun intro by Cher-friend Cyndi Lauper who talks about how professional, disciplined and encouraging Cher is, how basically pleasant she is and yet “if there was a problem, you’d hear about it,” how talking to her doesn’t feel like you’re talking to a famous person “even though she is one of the most famous people in the world.” Lauper calls Cher “sweet, kind and wise…and admirable.”

Zaleski has a good way of chunking the Cher story: breaking it up into digestible pop culture categories. She notes the multiple generations that have grown up with her and how: boomers (IGUB), Gen X (Variety shows, specials and movies, the rock diva), Millennials (Believe), Gen Z (tweets, RuPaul’s Drag Race, DJ Play a Song). Zaleski calls herself a longtime fan and music journalist. She calls Cher resilient, funny, brilliant and inspiring. The book is full of new quotes from Zaleski’s interviews with Cher and some new-old photos.

The book is color-coded by alternating chapters on Cher themes: personal life stories (much of Cher’s biography), Music, Television, Movies, Stage, Business (fitness, perfume), Fashion, Culture (being a gay and drag icon, the stuff like the dolls), Charity and Politics, and Cher stats.

Biography: Zaleski captures the core themes, that as a child “no one looked like me” and how Cher struggled for role models. There’s a great Cher’s quote about Sonny talking her “scattered energy” and “he focused the energy.” “I had such hero worship of Sonny, long after we were together…I just thought he was great.” Cher notes how they started out performing as the “100th on a bill.” Zaleski captures Cher and Tina Turner’s first impressions of each other and Zaleski notes that they “brought out the best in each other’s voices and stage presence.” She explains how David Geffen helped Cher “pivot.” “I was really, really lost,” she has Cher saying.

Zaleski has a knack for showing the iconic photographs and picking the best highlights of the Cher story.

Gregg Allman could be a “real louse” or he could build Chastity a tree house, Cher says. (There’s a Dr. Seuss poem in there with they rhyming louse/house.) “He split 9 days into the marriage.” Cher’s memoir makes it seem like the day after. Cher on Georganne: “My sister is the scholar in our family” Discussing Robert Camiletti (18 yr. difference) and Alexander Edwards (40 year difference), Cher says of younger men that they are “more supportive, less demanding” and give you more of their time.

Music: The book covers Cher’s Christmas album and major achievements.  Zaleski covers some of the early songs with her adjective-laden succinctness.

  • The swaying, harmony-rich “The Letter”
  • The Everly-Brothers-esque “Love is Strange”
  • The dramatic noir classic “Bang Bang”
  • The horn-peppered song “The Beat Goes On” – the message of which to Zaleski means “don’t’ stand still; the world is always changing and evolving.”
  • The easy-going “All I Ever Need Is You”
  • The theatrical “A Cowboy’s Work Is Never Done”
  • The dreamy “A Love Like Yours” (her vocals dusky and delicate…a perfect match for Nilsson’s own keening tone”)
  • Blazing disco-rocker “Hell on Wheels”
  • A hungry bar band singer in “Dead Ringer for Love” and she quotes Meatloaf saying “I didn’t think she could do it…I couldn’t believe it.”

She calls the music of Sonny & Cher “low-key…hewing toward kaleidoscopic ‘60s pop. She calls them “stubborn individualists” and notes one chaotic and “frenzied” concert where they had to escape by sitting in the middle of a river on a motorboat.” She quotes a journalist to say “Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves” was “one of the greatest pop songs of the last century.” And Cher’s retort: “No.” (I would argue it’s literature to boot.) Cher says it was the A&R men who brought the songs, not necessarily Snuff Garrett or Sonny.

Some songs Zaleski thinks didn’t flatter Cher like:

  • The treacly “You’d Better Sit Down Kids”

But she liked Cher’s “quiet confidence” in Dylan’s “The Times They Are a Changin’” and her “soulful performance over  scratchy electric guitars” in “Hey Joe.” She also loves the “horn-driven R&B” of the Jackson Highway album, including the “gorgeous vocals” on “Sittin’ On the Dock of the Bay” and “For What It’s Worth.” And these songs, Zaleski says, “laid the foundation for her vibrant career.”

Zaleski assembles a haphazard list of her musical successes in the charts. She talks about her “rock star phase” starting with Black Rose (and the book includes that unfortunate shirtless promo pic), opening for Hall & Oates, where Cher “held her own” with “no-frills hard rock with a dash of glam, power-pop and new wave.” (Oy, that’s some mash-up.) Theatrical howls and biting shrieks in “Never Should’ve Started,” a song which continues with “ferocious growls”. Zaleski creates her own 50-song best-of list and lists all the people Cher has collaborated with (not including studio musicians).

She does a segment on Cher’s live shows and residencies which she calls “uplifting” and notes revenues and tickets sold. There’s a separate section on soundtrack music and her guest appearances.

“Her legacy and impact are still felt today,” Zaleski says.

Television: The Television segments put Cher’s shows in context of Fred Silverman’s lineup of Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart and All in the Family and him saying in 1971, “They’re the kind of young new talent we must have.”  Zaleski  talks about Sonny & Cher’s deadpan, edgy insults. She quotes Meryl Streep as saying Cher on TV was a “natural talent as an actress…she made everybody else on TV look like they were trying too hard.” (And she did.) Streep also called Cher’s acting “immediate…canny…skilled, but it was invisible.”

Zaleski also rounds up the awards and ratings and notes “The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour would “become known as the Gold Standards by which all musical variety shows were measured.” (No one talks about that very much now but it’s true.)

Zaleski gets the name of Sonny’s solo show wrong but reviews both Sonny and Cher solo shows and has ABC president remarking that maybe it was “too soon” for Sonny’s show. And there are pictures from the first show attributed to the later day show. (Deep breath.)

There’s also a segment on the TV specials at the end of the decade and how tabloid problems with Gregg Allman meant that “mothers wouldn’t let kids watch.” (There was very little my mother wouldn’t let me watch: the movie Grease and the TV show Soap.) Zaleski calls the specials “equally amazing” and talks about Cher’s Letterman appearances. There’s a section on the music videos (including “Hell on Wheels”), the John Wilson cartoons and even the guest appearance on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse and Will and Grace among other things.

Movies: This section take us from Come Back to the Five and Dime Jimmy Dean through the aminated movies and Mama Mia 2. We begin with Cher’s struggles to break in to acting and how Jimmy Dean “gave me professional credibility for the first time.” Reviews for Silkwood include “the script was dense and smart” and “one of the most wryly clever performances on film in a good while.” Zaleski notes that Cher thanked her mom, Sonny and her children for her first Golden Globes win.

Reviews for Mask include “a sensitive, empathetic actress” and Cher saying, “I go out of my way to try to do women who are heroic people that would never make the cover of any magazine,” about Bagdanovich Cher saying, “I never did really understand what he wanted” and Bagdanovich on Cher saying, “she can’t act” and that she was “the most difficult actor I ever worked with,” that she “won best actress because I shot her well.” Zaleski  mentions Cher’s lifelong friendship with craniofacial kids. She calls Witches of Eastwick “underrated.”

Zaleski calls Moonstruck a modern classic. Zaleski also mentions the movies Cher barely missed out on including King Kong, Thelma and Louise, War of the Roses, The Drop Out and Catwoman.

She separates Cher’s main movies from her cameos and movie segments like If These Walls Could Talk. She has Cher saying she has “a narrow range. My characters, they’re me.”  (I would say this is only consistently true of the latter-day movies.)

We learn that Cher picked Andy Garcia as her mate for singing “Fernando” in Mama Mia 2.

Zaleski includes all the animations on one page (TV, video and movies, except the John Wilson ones which appear with the TV videos): her appearance with Beavis & Butthead, Zookeeper (which wasn’t animated though but does classify as voice work), Home: Adventures with Tip & Oh, Bobble Heads, and both appearances on Scooby Doo.

Stage Work: This includes the 2018 jukebox musical and a cast member saying about Cher, “to be vulnerable and yet have the most power in the room, that’s a really hard place to stand in.”

There are sections about her other cultural influences including:

Fashion and her years with Bob Mackie on stage, television and on the red carpet (and with the dolls) and how Bob Mackie said he was always “attempting to present to the world this…creature in her own right” and Cher talks about the confidence he gave her. Zaleski lists the iconic fashion moments and calls her “a fashion plate for the free wheeling, forward looking 1970s” and says she’s been pushing the envelope since the 1960s. Another great Mackie quote is “she’s a chameleon, but you can never lose her.”

There’s a whole section on Cher wigs, a whole section on the dolls. Zaleski notes that back in the 1970s they called it the Cher Barbie doll and has Cher saying “they made about 30 dolls before I was satisfied.” Zaleski interviews the Mego Toy president.

The Social Causes: There’s a section on her support of LGBTQ community and her status as a gay icon. Separately Zaleski has a section on Cher’s influence and importance to the art of drag, including how she incorporated drag into her late 1970s shows.

The Business Ventures: This includes the fitness commercials and videos, Lori Davis, Aquasentials (where Cher says she felt she lost her soul), the Sanctuary catalog, the two perfumes, MAC cosmetics, Cherlato and a roller rink Cher started that never opened. (I didn’t know that.)

The book also has a stats page that covers her auctions, awards, chartings, record sales, tour receipts, awards and honors.

Charitable Interests: This list includes AMFAR, Pediatric Aids Foundation, Habitat for Humanity, COVID Pandemic Response, a village school in Kenya, Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, Operation Helmet, political support to Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, saving Kaavan, Free the Wild and her continued work to save Billy the elephant.

There are some new and rare pics, quotes and perspectives.

Some other great quotes from the book: “Cher is pop culture” and that she is “a model for staying true to yourself…brash, outspoken, unapologetic. The world is finally waking up and realizing that she’s one of the most influential and important artists of our time.” and video director David Mallet saying “she is probably one of the most unaffected people in entertainment.” (Very different from what Bagdonovich said.)

Style Codes: Cher: A Guide to Dressing Like a Fashion Icon by Natalie Hammond (2025)

I’m always looking for ways people talk about Cher’s fashion style because, like for music, I don’t feel real adept at talking about fashion. I don’t have the vocabulary. Although I do enjoy dressing up for occasions, I spend most of my time in jeans and a t-shirt. I did a lot of outrageous-wear in high school but it wasn’t modeled after Cher as much as Molly Ringwald. She wasn’t a bad guide either.

My only criticism of the book is that it’s so over-designed, it’s hard to tell where sections begin and end.

The book starts by considering Cher’s 1982 live show headdress and Hammond calls it an “extravaganza of camp” and she notes how that show’s outfit changes happened in front of an audience. She also notes the show’s “big mule sandal” and calls Cher a fashion “risk taker.”

Next she considers the 1986 Oscars dress and says Cher’s variety shows were “always source of controversy for CBS” but that Cher and Bob Mackie were adept at creating “a moment.” (An unforgettable moment at that.)

Hammond talks about how Cher’s album cover always provided a “glorious sense of escapism,” particularly Take me Home and Prisoner.

Hammond explains an episode when Cher was on a Barbara Walters special explaining what her 1988 Oscar dress would look like and it was supposed to have a motorcycle jacket instead of the wrap she eventually wore. ”I feel that’s really me.”  (I didn’t know that.)

The book is broken up in to 10 Cher codes along with tips as to how to use them yourself. “The average person has no Bob Mackie. So what’s a girl to do?” Generally this means pushing yourself out of comfort zone but still feeling like you. The book encourages you to throw in an “occasional curve ball” into the mix. Hammond talks about the word “appropriate” and how this concept doesn’t apply to Cher. To those who judge Cher’s fashion decisions, Hammond says, Cher judges you right back.

Cher says she didn’t set out to be scandalous. She was simply trying to be herself. (That’s a complicated idea.)

Hammond says first you need to take stock of your wardrobe (t-shirts and jeans) and do a cleanse and list out the gaps. (Anything that isn’t t-shirts and jeans. Jk, I have some sweaters, too.)

If Cher has only  one legacy, it would be the naked dress, Hammond says. Now naked dresses are standard practice on the red carpet. But in the 1970s nobody was showing that much skin. But Cher was already using “see-through fabrics, peekaboo lace and decolletage-clinging sides.” Hammond quotes Mackie about Cher’s fantastical armpits. There’s the comment about the appearance of Cher’s navel during television’s family hour.

Cher was accused of corrupting the morals and had to hide her navel again by 1975. Her variety shows spent $30k on the costume budget per episode. But in the process, she became a style icon in the 1970s. Not a pinup (as if to differentiate her from Farrah Fawcett). Hammond talks about the Cher silhouette,” slinky to the point of making her look statuesque”  with the elongations, the crisscross designs and the fluid maxi skirts.

Hammond provides mix-and-match options charts, tells you how to shop and what to pair with what. This book has mostly illustration and very few photos of Cher, as if the book is on a budget. But there are enough. And the illustrations are helpful.

There’s a section on makeup and Cher’s heart-shaped face and how empowering it was also to see Cher out-and-about wearing no makeup, similar to how it is also empowering to see RuPaul and Pamela Anderson without makeup today.

Hammond takes us through the decades.

1960s

After the “staid fashions” of the 1950s, “modest was out, megawatt was in.” There’s even a color-scheme page for each decade, with the primary colors of the 60s, the paisleys, Cher’s vinyl minidress in sunflower yellow.

She calls Cher “queen of the crop tops” and talks about Cher’s early use of bell bottoms.

1970s

A glamourous approach, “gone were the garish or girlish” and how Cher wore a “lustrous spectrum that dazzled under lights.” Hammond focuses on her “jewel tones,” an example being the ruby-red Ringling Brother’s outfit.

Hammond talks about the artist who worked on the first variety show (or with Cher during that time):Jim Ortel (hair), Ben Nye II (makeup), Renata Leuschner (wigs), Minnie Smith (manicurist of the stars) noting how Cher started the squared-off nail trend.

She mentions the Beatles Tribute dresses.

And “the kaleidoscope effect” of Cher’s butterflies outfit.

“By 1978 Cher had laid three shows to rest” Hammond says and she calls their next variety show in 1976 “the ex-couples second bite of the cherry as a double act.”

By the late 70s Cher is “dressing with a devotion to the razzmatazz.” She turned the volume up, Hammond says and her “outfits were brief and the colors were bold.” As Cher struggles to launch and acting career, Hammond says her clothes were “a visual sucker-punch that would have done little to quell the doubt about her suitability for cinema audiences.”

An example she notes is the 1978 turquoise body suit and its pose, “a starfish in spandex,” the silver knee high boots and the whole thing “a swaggering kind of energy” (which, btw, is where real rock and roll style resides).

But it was “the flame dress that really set pulses racing.”  Hammon notes that a version had already been made for Tina Turner inspired by the tendrils of sequins already worn by Raquel Welch.

Here’s a slide-show of women who have worn a version of the dress.

Cher as “Prime Time Queen” wore all those jewel tones and “showgirl getups” but Hammon notes all the times she wore white and later in the decade purple and pinks. And the gold on 1979’s Take Me Home.

1980s

Black was Cher’s color in the 1980s. Hammond says, because she was in her serious Hollywood phase but that she “makes the shade her own”  and that “the genius of Cher” is to turn black into a statement or even everyday wear. She notes the “Turn Back Time” leotard and that silver belt, noting this was the only outfit Cher was ever nervous about because….all those sailors.

Someone on The Phil Donahue Show asked Cher if she had shed her “Barbie doll image.” She was wearing a studded leather jacket, short shaggy hair and leather mini skirt.

Hammond provides advice on wearing all black, how to mix textures and that “black doesn’t have to mean boring.”

She talks about the “I Found Someone” video’s black peekaboo body stocking paired with a leather jacket and the chain-mail suspenders and the armor minidress.

She notes that the record label, Geffen didn’t want Robert Camilletti in the video so Cher funded it herself “and if that isn’t rock and roll, what is?” Snap. Hammond talks about how her outfits seem effortless and Cher’s “utter disregard of the rules” which is “better than leather.”

Later in the decade, Cher wears more florals.

1990s

Hammond talks about the Love Hurts bodysuit with all its rivets and charms and high cut crotch.

The was a decade of animal prints for Cher. She notes the 1993 CFDA event with the crystal buckle. She calls Cher “the mistress of I don’t give a damn.”

There’s a section explaining Cher’s use of slightly oversized biker jackets, “the definition of rock and roll,” going “loose and louche” with extra zips, belt, cuffs to the knuckles, and always falling off her shoulder.

She gives tips on vintage shopping.  She notes the 1997 Met Gala outfit.

2000s and 2010s

This was a decade with the return of color, of “Believe” silver and the 2000-2005 Living Proof Tour metalics.

She notes the 2002 MTV Icon award honoring Aerosmith.

2020s

Hammond talks about the idea of “owning your own sex appeal” and how Cher does all the “no-nos” in outfit combos.

She mentions the Versace show where Cher wore blue leather in 2021.

And her appearance at the opening of the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures wearing two prints. (One of my favorite recent ensembles.)

And her Chicken Shop Date jacket.

Hammond talks about how Cher has worn denim across all the decades and how Cher says denim is the “longest relationship I’ve ever had.” She calls out the flared jeans Cher wore on her first appearance of Will & Grace and of Jack: “He should have know better. Who could pull off those jeans but Cher.”

Or the jeans she wore opening night at Studio 54 on April 26 1977, coming downstairs with Steve Rubell.

The 1987 photo session on shag rug in her Egyptian house.

Cher can made double denim okay, Hammond says.

There’s a section on “embracing your alter ego” and Hammond calls out the outfit Cher wore on the cover of Paper Magazine in  2023.

Hammond calls Cher an “airport influencer” and how she has made airport appearances into “her own personal runway.”

She calls out a 1974 appearance with a cowboy hat.

A 1977 airport appearance wearing snake skin boots.

A 1978 appearance in a checkered shirt and a 1984 with leather pants and a 1988 appearance with a velvet scarf.

Hammond says Cher has even mastered dressing down (and I’m reminded of how she does interviews with jogging pants,  track pants or jeans and a t-shirt .

Like the outfit she wore on The Dick Cavett Show in 1982 (where she shows him all her tattoos).

Hammond talks about film roles that featured “a grittier kind of realism” and that “Cher was more than capable of playing a ‘real’ person.” She calls out Dolly Pelliker’s t-shirt, workman’s pants and cowboy boots from Silkwood which “couldn’t have been more of a departure.” Hammond calls it a “make-under.”

She calls out the 2018 Met Gala dress when she talks about how Cher has a “sparkly me” and “the quiet me.”

There’s a whole section about add-ons and her Hammond features the 1985 Met Gala dress with the black skirt and beaded top with ear cuffs. Hammond says for Cher “more is more.”

She tells us the “Believe” video head piece was an accident of walking by an artist who happened to be on set crafting to pass the time. (I did not know that.)

There’s a section on hair and hats: Charlie Tweeddle cowboy hats, cowboy hats with plumes, halos, war bonnets, headdresses.

A final section is on prints and of course Cher’s character Laverne is featured with the bra strap always exposing itself (Bob Mackie’s genius idea) and how the outfit is “loud and unapologetic.”

“Clothes never eclipse Cher,” Hamond says, whether she wears rock-and-roll studs and beads, sequins, crystals, pearls.

On page 184 Hammond promises that by following these codes “you’ll look a little like Cher” but on page 1986 she admits “there can’t be more than one Cher.” All we can do is emulate her style codes and “perhaps push yourself out of your style comfort zone….Cher didn’t take her wardrobe too seriously.” And if you do, “snap out of it.”

In Hammond’s acknowledgements she says, “this one felt personal because to me Cher is the ultimate in so many respects—a person who lives fearlessly. I hope this book encourages you do to the same.” Hammond also has done books on Dolly Parton and David Bowie. She is currently the Senior Fashion Editor of Grazie but has written for many publications about fashion.

End of 2025 Catchup

I checked Cher’s merch page and unfortunately there is not yet a Cher snow globe available. But wouldn’t that be swell?

Music

Since I’ve been working on my own Cher rabbit holes (with books and dolls), I’ve been delayed in posting the latest Cher news. And there has been quite a lot of it, the biggest of which maybe happened yesterday.

I had no idea when I woke up Sunday morning that I’d be greeted with news of new music that very day. Cher completely surprised us with a  new  Christmas single!

Some fans, me included, worried that after months of really aggressively fake Cher news on Facebook, that this too was fake news. In fact, I spent the better part of Sunday morning lying in bed trying to find confirmation on this story. I didn’t even think to go to straight to Cher’s YouTubes. Eventually I just had to rely on the reliable sources of Cher Universe and Cher Brazil. They get the scoops, those young whippersnappers.

I spoke with another Cher scholar and we wondered is this was actually a 2025 recording? There has been no context around this release (interviews, advanced press) and so it’s hard to know. Or is this an outtake of the 2023 Christmas album? Will it be resold and repackaged into the old album to tease fans into buying it once again? The song is heavy on auto-tune, which feels like Cher’s continued middle-finger into the face of auto-tunes detractors, but its also not new.

On the other hand, the lyrics speak to the from-ennui-to-anguish her fans may be dealing with in 2025 in a sort of general way that covers all of our possible scenarios.

I always appreciate the Cher-as-Mother-Figure songs. Her Cheer-Up-Kid gestures always get me. This could be because Sonny & Cher were my fantasy parents. But songs like “Chiquitita” and “Stop Crying Your Heart Out” I find very comforting. This is another song in that category. It’s been quite another rough year from this end (ending with a roof leak among other dramas), rougher probably because it’s also been rough for all my friends too.

Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my resistance and elasticity. (Don’t tell my non-Cher mother. She’s got enough to worry about.) But songs like this are very appreciated from Cher’s own brand of public surrogate motherhood.

This is also a good time to visit the Cher Scholar Christmas Page.

The new song also explains why Cher will be on Saturday Night Live on Saturday December 20, their year-end Christmas show. She’s a musical guest alongside Arianna Grande, but hopefully she’ll also appear in some of the skits. Would a duet be too much?

Let’s touch base next year on how all that turns out.

A Grammy Salute to Cyndi Lauper aired on CBS on 5 October. It was a great special all around with some fabulous and unexpected duets. Cher came out for the finale of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” in a visual tribute to Yayoi Kusama which I love, love, loved!

Last week, Cher also received another victory against Mary Bono but this time at the federal level. Bono plans to appeal all the way to the top! (Just wow. Will the Supreme Court eventually take on this case someday? Let’s hope not.)

Cher Books

CBS Mornings (which has confusingly rebranded since I last looked from the previous title of CBS This Morning) had Cher on the show in November to talk about the paperback version of her Memoir just out. There is an appended story at the end of the paperback version, (to get us to all buy that again) about Sonny and Cher at Martoni’s Restaurant, a very funny one but not the “Laugh In” story that was left out of the hardback version, which is significant I think. Did that even happen at all?

Cher’s Memoir part two was postponed earlier this year until spring of  2026 and now reports are saying it’s furtherly postponed until fall of 2026, which will be two years after part one came out. (That’s the way it is and you’ll like it!)

Anyway, 2025 was sort of an embarrassment of riches on the Cher book front. In another post (this week) I’ll talk about Annie Zaleski’s picture bio and Natalie Hammond’s style guide.

But this week, the children’s book on Cher (from the Little Golden Book people) came out, written by Candice Ransom and  illustrated by Laura Catrinella. It’s so brief, it didn’t have the chance to print any egregious errors. Which is nice.

Some of the best drawings include:

And then there’s this picture. I’m sure many Cher fans will fight me on this one but that is definitely me in the lower left-hand corner of this picture. That’s even my facial expression at Cher concerts!

Outings 

Cher attended the Swarovski Masters of Lighting Opening Celebration in Los Angeles with Alexander Edwards on 28 October. “On the day, Cher donned a black see-through bodysuit paired with a fur crop jacket and wide pants adorned with chain decorations on the sides, exuding her unique charisma. Her signature black wavy hair and glamorous jewelry highlighted her presence as the ‘ageless diva.'” (chosun.com)

Cher was also presented with a Bambi Legende Award in Germany on 13 November.

Cher was introduced around her iconic status and humanity. In her speech Cher said she was proud to be there and felt she had a special relationship with Germany, where people seemed to always been interested in her during her career’s low ebbs. She talked about her inability to save Billy the Elephant from the L.A. Zoo. She kept saying, “I’m just a singer; I can’t do anything.” But then after telling the successful Kavaan elephant story she ended with, “I’m not just a pretty face, am I?”

Movies

Someone reached out to me from Peru about the movie Suspect.

A man named Anthony told me he had recently watched the movie on VHS and “found it very entertaining,  full of suspense and interesting moments. For example, the scene in the library” and yes that scene was very delectable!

Anthony said he searched the internet for reviews and found my Cher Zine review “full of details and very interesting observations.”

He said he was “grateful to be able to read it and that there are unique opinions” and he hoped I could read the email “and feel grateful for filling the world with culture.”

I was indeed very grateful he reached out to me. Suspect is a bit underrated as it includes a very bookish character against Cher-type and I think she does a fine job in it alongside a young Liam Neeson.

More About Me

So my friend in San Francisco and I finished reading Healing The Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield (which Cher recommends in her book Forever Fit) and we started on the comparatively very large workbook.

Oy vey! It has been a shocking experience because when I started reading the book, it felt so dated, so 80s. My friend and I have read so many other self-help books between when this one was published and now. And it seemed very substance-abuse related, which was not my family history, (in my childhood anyway). But then it turns out the childhoods explored encapsulated many more kinds of dysfunction under “also ran” where I could find my little self. The book is full of tables and charts and I could see exactly where my therapy in Los Angeles stalled when I left to move to New Mexico. I never got to core issues! Or letting the feelings go!!

So I’ll be restarting therapy next year when my insurance is sorted out. My friend and I are now deep into documenting our true and public selves. Many surprising revelations for us, I must say.

I’ll be making an unexpected visit to Cleveland next weekend so I wasn’t going to finish putting up my Christmas trees. But then I did it anyway just to cheer myself up.

 

 

Memoir vs. Memoir Part 3: the 1970s

I just need to say this again: if you had told me when I was six or seven or eight years old that one day I’d be reading Sonny’s memoir alongside Cher’s memoir, each discussing their days as Sonny & Cher, I would have fainted across my Raggedy Ann bedspread. It was inconceivable to me that such an amazing thing would happen someday in this world. That’s how much I loved Sonny & Cher.

I now think either Cher eventually read Sonny’s book or one of her ghostwriters did because their opinions, even minor ones, seem so point-to-point.  And why would they not read everything, just for research. I guess it could be an amazing coincidence, like Sonny’s image of Sonny and Cher connected to the same umbilical cord.

Anyway I’ll try not to replicate Cher’s book here because you should go out and buy it. The paperback is out now with an additional story. But let’s continue…

If you want to go back:

The Nightclubs

So Sonny admits it was Joe DeCarlo’s idea to try out nightclubs. This is big. Cher and the world usually give that idea to Sonny. Sonny calls the period a “bumpy road personally.” Cher says they actually got back on track as a family during this period. And Cher calls it Supper Theater. The Supper Club circuit. Places like the Flamingo in Las Vegas and the circuit of hotel and casino dinner theaters.

Cher remembers she was “relieved to be working” and they traveled with Chas in a wicker crib and their nanny Heidi, “the sweetest woman in the world.” Chastity’s first two years were on the road and her first milestones all in motels and hotels. Cher says Chas was our early entertainment and “such a gift.” The band and hotel staff held her all the time and her “feet never touched the ground. Cher says, “she was the sole focus of our long road back to who we once were. “ Even though they had no money or house and had hotplate meals, the three of them hung out together and “no matter the circumstances, Sonny could always make me laugh.” Cher is unequivocable: “struggling again helped revitalize our relationship…being poor narrowed our focus—how to best spend our time, made us feel three of us against the world.” (This is the “backs against the wall” era.) Cher says Sonny was a big kid, very creative, and she could happily watch him play with Chas for hours.

“Our world consisted of the three of us.” This sounds very happy but Sonny portrays it all unhappy and remembered only the struggle.

He says, they “struggled to find chemistry off stage” and he says he took some of the act’s barbs personally. He does start to worry he is being too bossy and that he lives too much in fantasy land. He admits he was “obsessed” with Cher’s “steamy love scene” with Steve Whitaker in the Chastity movie. He worried that his jealousy meant they didn’t “get it on film.”

Later in the book Sonny will claim that Cher’s unhappiness came out of left field. But here he acknowledges their fights over the busy schedule he arranged and he admits they “worked their asses off” in the summer of 1970 and that may have “cost us our relationship.” He mentions making the Dick Van Dyke TV special (he doesn’t mention its name, The First Nine Months Are the Hardest) and how it was hard to be on the road again and playing two shows a night. “We were up and down on planes…packing and unpacking…walking through smelly kitchens late at night…not connecting well.” He says Cher saw it as “a treadmill going nowhere.” He also says, “our enthusiasm for life was too low to pick up” and “you feel miserable.”

Cher does say ”every night was like a war” but she’s talking about with the audience.

Only Cher mentions the Love American Style appearance in January of 1971. Cher talks about how kind Sonny was during her panic attacks and his “odd” experiments like having her sing Puccini’s “Un bel dì, vedremo” from Madame Butterfly.

Cher explains how the new act developed from drunks in crowds and how she started talking to the band and making them laugh. She didn’t get the side eye from Sonny because it was working and at least they were entertaining each other. Cher calls it “always hit or miss” and that very “slowly we developed a [20 minute] act people would line up to see.” She notes it was “not our singing. “They wanted to hear our jokes.” Cher talks about her heritage of wiseassery. But that “never in a gazillion years did I imagine that I’d become a standup comedian.” Cher explains the type of jokes they told: about Sonny’s mother, his height, his singing, his hopes of becoming a sex symbol, her nose, her body type. Cher says it was accidental and “We got excited again.” They both tell some of the jokes they did.  Cher says, “Timing was everything” and she could “make Sonny laugh so much he couldn’t sputter out his lines.”

Sonny’s version: “We gradually developed a humorous and fairly sophisticated repartee.”

Cher again says their stage personas were the opposite of their off-stage relationship. Cher tells a story of trying to confide unhappiness in Sonny and his explosion and threat to divorce her.

Cher does talk about the discomfort of it, how that “felt horrible.” They would be in motels across the street from venues and casinos. Train whistles would keep them up at night. Bad plumbing. Mildew on the walls. Paper thin walls. Sonny would make them hot-plate pasta for the family and the band because they couldn’t afford restaurants. Cher admits sometimes “I wanted to curl up and die.”  Cher says they’d take the service elevator and then navigate their way through the busy kitchen trying not to slip on any grease or wok into a waiter flying past carrying five plates and standing by the swinging doors and trying to keep out of the way, listening for their cue. Then walk out smiling.

She says her sister was  traveling with them, too.

Sonny admits that although they were feuding, they were also other’s best friends. He says there are talks of a TV show but nothing came of it. Cher talks about the Century Plaza comedian night and working on The Nitty Gritty Hour special, which she says felt formulaic and nothing came of it.

Sonny’s August 26 1970 diary entry admitted Cher was complaining that he was pushing too hard. He says that during weeks in New Orleans they barely spoke unless they were fighting. (Later he will say he had no idea she felt this way.)

Cher says, “I felt permanently tired.”

Sonny says they would dress up to play to 12 people, where they used to play for tens of thousands. He says they were “not concerned with putting on a good show” but “how can I get out of this situation?”

Cher says it’s a “thousand times harder to come back than become, almost impossible.” And she concurs that they were used to 30 thousand screaming fans and were lucky now if they had more than 100. One of the midnight shows at the Elmwood there was only 4 people. Some “real dives.” They were used to kids who “knew every word of our songs” and now played “to people who didn’t know us,” people who were coming for dinner and drinks, not to see a show.

At this time Sonny said he felt Cher’s “admiration for him was zip” and that he was worried about the survival of Sonny & Cher but she was only worried about her own survival.  It’s in the middle of this, (not at the massive tax debt episode where Cher puts it) that Sonny says he asked Cher for 3 years (not 2) to get them back on top.

They both agreed they communicated better in Sonny’s diary.

He shares his September 11 diary entry (paperback, 1812) which has similar verbiage to the one Cher mentions in her memoir (hardback, 207) , the one that talks about Cher being “my stability, my generator. I need you to believe in me Cher” and Cher responds: “I am you. That’s scary to me. Even if you left me, you couldn’t rid your body of me. I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud.” Maybe these are two different entries they’re talking about. They don’t read the same in each book. This also wasn’t one of the ones Mary Bono republished in People Magazine.

But in hindsight Cher felt she did believe in Sonny because “Sonny believed in us…he kept pushing,” getting them TV appearances and shows.

Sonny says they were “popping” and “generating heat” and selling out shows and “drawing” in Las Vegas, where they shared a bill with David Brenner and Frankie Avalon. They didn’t even have a hit record, Sonny marvels. He says the true benchmark of their worth was “how hotels received us.”

Both end chapters before they start to talk about their new TV show, The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour.

The First TV Show & Records

Sonny says TV executive Fred Silverman, a “genius programmer at CBS Television” saw them at the Waldorf Astoria.

Cher says it was around 2 years to the day that Fred Silverman saw their performance at The Royal Box Supper Club in the Americana hotel. Cher says by this time their act was “razor sharp.” Then they were sub-hosts on the Merv Griffin Show.

Sonny says, “Silverman arranged for us to serve as guests on the Merv Griffin show and they went over big. Silverman sent a congratulatory letter.”

Cher says Silverman wanted younger viewers. He sent producers Bearde and Bly to the Fairmont Hotel where they saw some raw talent and all hit it off. On their way back to LA on the plane, they sketched out the show. I remember Bearde and Bly saying the same thing on some Cher documentary, maybe Behind the Music.

In the meantime, Sonny says, a friend from his record promo days, Johnny Musso, signed Cher to Kapp Records and Sonny says, “he was taking a risk.” Musso “didn’t want me to produce.” This is the second time Sonny is asked not to be producer. “He wanted to use Snuff Garrett. I was bored by the studio and Snuff was a friend back to Liberty Records.”

Because of the TV schedule, Cher says, they had one week to finish this first record. Cher “loved Snuffy” because he was funny and great at his job, a “get it done” kind of guy. Sonny was busy with other things, Cher says, like arranging the tours.

Silverman arranged for a replacement series of 7 shows, Sonny says, and their ratings were good.

Cher calls it a summer of 6 shows and their show led into the miniseries about six wives of Henry VIII, every night a different wife. Fact check: there were 6.

Then in September the single “Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves” was released and 7 weeks later it hit #1. Sonny counts every chart position and he gets them right. Cher tends to get them wrong. Cher talks about the cover, the accent on her name, how it was her first top ten solo (“Bang Bang” went to #2 and “You’d Better Sit Down Kids” to #9). The album went gold and the song was nominated for a Grammy. She was working so hard she doesn’t remember how it felt. She only remembers being on the road, country fairgrounds and “huge crowds for us” but also being exhausted.

Sonny is frustrated with this. “Cher was sleeping” he says disparagingly at ever milestone of good fortune. He feels he is the only one enjoying it. Then he fires Joe DeCarlo because he’s taking 20% (the combined 10% each that 1960s managers Stone and Greene were getting). Besides, he has his road manager Denis Prognolato who he says was doing all the work anyway.

Remember Denis was the spy in tennis-lesson-gate, friend to Sonny. Not so much to Cher.

Cher says around this time Sonny changed. He hires lawyer Irwin Spiegel and is always in meetings with him smoking cigars.

The album Sonny & Cher Live comes out and goes to #35.

The “All I Ever Need Is You” single goes to #7 and the album to #14. The single “When You Say Love” goes to #32. This is all Sonny recounting.

But we could have used more of Sonny’s view about his own songs here, just like with “I Got You Babe” and “The Beat Goes On.”  He had three songs on All I Ever Need Is You. He says nothing about “A Cowboys’ Work is Never Done” except that it was a top 10 song in April of 1972 (#8).

Things are going good, Sonny says. The Comedy Hour got a greenlight. Their Vegas shows are sold out with “traffic backed up nightly.” But he feels deflated when Cher says she “wished they were really big, like the Rolling Stones or Dylan.” They are selling seats for $500. He says he feels invalidated and Cher is always the victim. (Which is neck-breaking projection in one paragraph). He thinks Cher is tired of S&C and hates sharing the spotlight. Cast and crew of the variety show, including Bob Mackie, the producers, the first hairdresser, just don’t back this up. There is the famous story about how Sonny would say “jump” and Cher would say “how high,” plus the fact that he said himself Cher had anxiety and hated performing without him, and in the 1970s would prefer to perform through him.

Sonny sees they are drifting apart. He wants you to know he sees and yet he also reserves the right to be completely taken by surprise later.  He feels they are still connected, intwined, “still drew life from the same umbilical chord and to think of severing ties seemed suicidal.” (Which shows he was thinking about it.)

Cher agrees and says they had a strange relationship as husband and wife, best friends, parents, partners and strangers.

Sonny says they went “from hasbeens to hot stuff “ and that he reinvested most of “our salary” into show, which had a 35k weekly budget. Which he said was “peanuts in prime time.” How’d they afford The Big House then? Because they were broke at the start of this decade. Sonny talks about their nose jobs and Cher’s breast reshaping and the infected scars that resulted.

The both agree they loved their televisions show. Sonny says, “the show was a blast to do. Even on our bad days we had fun.” He says Cher had her dream gowns of Bob Mackie.

In Cher’s version she had to fight for Bob Mackie. Ret Turner was already assigned to the show. She got Mackie to intervene and persevere. Cher became friends with both men. Cher says the small budget gave the show a family dynamic in the beginning.

Her first favorite dress was the red one with the open stomach, but that she loved the beautiful beaded shimmery gowns, which later came to cost 5k per dress. Cher says she was a size 6 at 108 pounds and her body type had come into vogue. (We could argue she helped it get there with her TV show.) Cher talks about John Wilson, the set, their coordinated outfits, how they both walked on stage with interlocking fingers, and her feeling “this is what I’m supposed to do.”

Cher has much more room to talk about the details of the show, what they did on which days, who the guest stars were, the role of Chastity, the innuendos and the lack of censorship, about the audience feedback. She said she could look back at the script Sonny wrote (“virtually by himself”) for Good Times and suddenly see it was “way ahead of its time.”  She talks about the first taping, the issues with her skin and hair.

Cher said Silverman was like a father figure. She talked about the difference between their written lines and their improvisations, how Sonny didn’t memorize anything and relied on cue cards, whereas she would memorize the scripts “on first sight.” She said she “let him flounder,” go along and then get him with a one-liner. She said the show was set up for Sonny to be the straight man. And they encouraged him to be silly. “He knew I had his back,” Cher says. She felt they were more equals on the show. “Sonny learned his own style of comedy and was hilarious. People loved him.” Cher says when they went to work, they got along. “I don’t remember a single show when we were angry with each other.”

Sonny says they had “top-notch writers” but he doesn’t mention any names of the cast or crew. He says Cher still had stage freight and worked to the cameras and through characters. But it gelled, was “hip and kooky.” Sonny talks about his “Fair Cher” poems and Cher’s impeccable timing” but he says now Cher is “impossible to read.”

Cher says they had a great crew and the producers did a great job. She says the reviews improved and they were renewed for 13 more shows. Critics said they were “endearingly mismatched” and they liked the screw ups and ad libs and the married-people affection like Sonny brushing hair from Cher’s face. Cher talks about director Art Fisher’s pioneering chroma key/blue screen, her iconic Vamp and Laundromat skits. She mentions Ted Zeigler, Freeman King, Peter Cullen, Murray Langston and Steve Martin “who went out tour with us after shows.” She talks about singing the old songs. She says she needed Sonny for those solos and couldn’t have done them without him. (This doesn’t sound like a woman who had been trying to distance herself from him.)

Cher says they were a Monday night institution and a top 10 hit with millions of viewers at a time. Market research found  Sonny loveable and Cher beautiful with her array of clothes. Cher then talks about recovering on weekends with Chas. After a show wrap, she would “go home, go look at the baby, wash face, brush teeth, watch TV, go to sleep.”

She remembers their days at their house at Oxnard Beach which were “some of our happiest days.”

Sonny agrees that at that time they felt like “a cozy family unit.”

Cher talks about being TV famous and how work was a safe zone, that they never fought on the set. [Charo tells a story of overhearing fights on the set and there were those Battling Bonos rumors.]

The Big House

Architectural Digest reported in 2019 the house was on sale for $115 million. More history (considering the short time they lived there, all tenants considered, it’s interesting that the house is still referred to as the Sonny & Cher house/estate) and updates through the years.

They were living in the 34-room mansion known as the St. Cloud house and it was 8 weeks into season 1 of their show and Tony Curtis, ever the opportunist Sonny says, sold them another house known as The Big House, now known as Owlwood or sometimes Carolwood Estate. Curtis said to Sonny, “You’re stars. You should reside in heaven!” The house was $750,000. Both houses seemed like a trophy, Sonny says, and that the Big House was 54 rooms and 30,000 sq ft. [Wikipedia says the house is 12,000 sq ft.]

Sonny says the purchase was a grave mistake and there were lots of misfortunes associated with the house and it was too big for a tiny family. He said the house had cold, bad vibes and was only good for hiding troubles. You wonder then why he later wanted to fight for it. He says Cher furnished it in three days.

Cher says “I don’t think anyone ever sat in the living room.”

Cher admits she broke down in tears asking Sonny if they could buy it. Cher says she rarely cried or asked for anything.” She says, Sonny wanted the house too because it was “a gargantuan symbol of our comeback,” their “castle on the hill” and that it would change things. Cher admits she had the house decorated with antiques from Europe. She says, “it was stunning” and she lists the outdoor buildings and describes Chas’ bedroom, although notes that Chas preferred the tack house to her bedroom (famously depicted on Sonny & Cher’s last duet album). The kitchen was her least favorite, Cher said and that the paneled library was her favorite space and one of the smallest. Cher correctly notes the 12, 200 sq ft of the house with 9 bedrooms, 10 baths. Sonny never wanted to throw parties, she said, except for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Chas’ birthday.  Sonny stopped her friends like Joey from coming over.

Busyness & Las Vegas

Cher says Sonny was “turning into one of ‘the suits.'” He wasn’t happy being an entertainer but wanted to be a mogul. She missed the old pasta-making Sonny with Chas on his hip. Now he just spent hours in meeting with lawyers. Cher talks about “The Benevolent Army of El Primo,” the jackets, all which was kind of a joke but kind of not a joke. Cher feels herself disconnecting, shutting down in fights. The CBS family “kept me going” she says but she longed to have own opinions and make friends. She felt closed in. They had no dinners out, no concerts, no movies. Their relationship was all work. Outside of that she had shopping and Chas.

Sonny feels Cher is ungrateful. Cher says Sonny was on a mission never to be poor again.

Sonny acknowledges it was a hectic calendar. “If there was a break in the TV show, I booked out of town concerts…That’s where the big money was.” He said they made 50-60k on a good night. They made 4 million that way, he says and that “Cher’s complaints were a broken record.” [But during the breakup story below, he will act dumbfounded.]

Cher’s defense: “Work was hard on me” and she said she had a more demanding TV show schedule than Sonny did. Sonny also wanted them to be recording new [solo and duet] music and doing shows on the road. “We have to make the most of this second chance…this is our time,” Cher remembers Sonny saying.  Everything became “a big blur,” all the TV work, fittings, photoshoots, interviews, tours, recordings, being a mom. She said they did 50 shows that year and Sonny arranged it so they would have to tape 2 shows a week sometimes, film two shows in 3 days show so they could spend 9 days on the road. It saved the producers money but Cher felt she had no time to catch a breath and it was double work for everyone on the show. She said they did that about once a month. She quotes producer George Schlatter as saying, “If Sonny & Cher were driving into Hollywood from the valley, Sonny would take a gig on Mulholland to break up the trip.”

Sonny says he was “building our savings” and he understood that “she hated the grind” and how she never could play in Vegas without getting sick, which Sonny took as “an excuse to cut the run short.” Sonny loved Vegas. “We were huge there…broke house records.” Sonny loved the “Disneyland for adults” aspect, what he called “the dark artificiality” of it. He admits Cher hated “everything about it” and that she hid in hotel room with room service and the TV. He pictured her as reclusive as Hugh Hefner, which is a tragic misreading of a person desperate to go out and have some fun for a change, just not in anyway like the way Sonny wanted to have fun.

Sonny went to see Elvis with Denis. He’d never seen Elvis but they often played Vegas at the same time. Sonny was fascinated by his power over an audience. It’s interesting to compare how Sonny and Cher each describe seeing Elvis perform. They are both mesmerized by it.

Elvis invited Sonny and Denis backstage “I’d never seen anyone like Elvis,” whom Sonny said had the charisma to transform a mediocre show. Sonny said Elvis “didn’t give a shit” and like Cher he would probably rather trade handshakes for money than perform. Sonny doesn’t mention this but like Elvis, Cher would also become a mesmerizing and hypnotic personality.

Sonny is actually great at explaining Elvis in his book, though. He said Elvis told him he liked the S&Cs version of “What Now My Love [Sonny mis punctuates the title] and that he listened to it before recording his own version (which sounds more like the original French version to me).

Sonny said he and Cher had a private plane and would be mobbed at airports, and that they had packed shows. But that Cher was “absorbed in needlepoint” on plains and in dressing rooms and always looking bored and disinterested.

Cher says she needlepointed herself half to death from the stress.

Sonny says romance became a commodity. Both agree they were suppressing their relationship troubles.

Cher felt alienated, not allowed to have friends over or “fraternize with the band.” By this time her sister was busy working as an actress. Cher tells about the Tupperware story and this is one of the final straws.

The Breakup Story

Sonny begins his breakup chapter with two diary entries that look back on the implosion, his November 4, 1972, entry where “Everything has exploded. Chastity doesn’t know mom and dad are on the ropes.” He says he’s been so worried about their careers, he’s never worried about their relationship.  [Sonny, even your own diary begs to differ].

Then a few days later on November 11, “Cher wants to run like a racehorse but she can’t find a track. I used to be the jokey. She shoved the saddle up my ass.”

[This is a terrible analogy because it kind of proves Cher’s point. She’s not a horse. WTH.] He says Cher was “admittedly miserable.” He talks about the worst time in his life, when he was married to Donna and lost his job before Christmas and then his car broke down.

They both take time to tell this story.

Sonny introduces the day by talking about Cher being antsy and unhappy (for no reason he can understand).

Cher introduces her version by talking about her breakup catalyst, not Bill Hamm (Sonny never obscures his name), but her soon-to-be best friend, Paulette, who was a 21-year-old worldly Armenian, sophisticated and dating their road manager, Jerry Ridgeway. They’ve been best friends for over 50 years now, Cher says. And Cher was initially allowed this friend because for some reason “Sonny never saw her as a threat.” [And he never acknowledges Paulette’s role in their breakup in his own memoirs.] Cher enjoyed listening to Paulette’s life stories. They each wanted the other’s life. By that time Cher says she wasn’t eating or sleeping. (In Forever Fit Cher Cher says she was suicidal and down to 94 pounds, only eating a few bites of egg a day.) Cher says she feels the TV show changed Sonny completely but that she still loved him. “He didn’t notice me anymore” because he was trying to be a mogul. This is a consistent Cher story in interviews (from at least Believe-era on). Cher felt she couldn’t trust him anymore and she was needlepointing herself “to death.” She is candid that she had no desire to have more kids with Sonny although she admitted he was a great dad and that he and Chaz had a special relationship that “didn’t include me.” Chas was El Primo, Jr.

Cher says that they had back-to-back shows in Reno and Las Vegas. At the Sahara they had two shows a night in the Congo Room. She was feeling trapped. Paulette was starting to help her as a gofer and a dresser. After shows, Paulette would hang out with the band smoking pot, drinking beer, playing guitars. Cher was envious of her stories.

Cher says she was exhausted and asked Sonny for a vacation to Europe and he rolled his eyes. He called her selfish. Cher says she was crazy with loneliness and had been sitting on the balcony rails of hotel rooms ready to jump “five or six times” (!!!) But “one morning everything changed.” Between shows that day she figured she could just leave Sonny. Paulette was oblivious to Cher’s condition and told her about Bill Hamm’s crush on her. There’s a story with the Etch-a-Sketch and the song “Superstar.”

Sonny says It was a Saturday night. “Cher and I were breaking attendance records while ignoring our personal differences.” Between shows, Sonny remembers that he, Cher, Denis and our guitarist Bill Hamm went over to the Hilton to see Tina Turner. They then went back to Flamingo and did their late show and received three standing ovations. David Brenner was their opening act and jokes about “the dough we were making” and “our opulent suite.”

Cher says it was The Righteous Brothers that the band wanted to see at the Hilton Hotel and that Cher went with Paulette and Ridgeway. Not Sonny. Everyone acted like she was crazy for doing something without Sonny. She sat next to Bill and he put his hand on her knee. (I can’t wait for this movie.)

In Cher’s version, she returned from the Righteous Brothers and had to ignore Sonny’s fury. She left for her dressing room, ignoring him. After the show she told Paulette she wanted to hang out with the band and they hung out in Jeff Porcaro’s room. None of this is in Sonny’s book. Cher said the band was “nervous as hell.” Bill and Cher left to go look for cigarettes. They ran into David Brenner. Cher says David and Brenner were close and Brenner was nervous about seeing Cher out and about without Sonny, too. Bill asks Cher how she can live this way. Some kissing happens. They go back into the room. Sonny calls pissed. Cher says she’s just hanging with the guys. “You could have heard a pin drop in the room,” Cher says. Cher says she told Sonny on the phone that she was bringing Bill up to their room.

Sonny says they were exhausted after the second show and there was strained conversation at the elevator. On the road, Sonny says, they had a truce to engage in “shallow chitchat” because they were “forced to share close quarters.” (How does he not see a train wreck coming?) Anyway, Sonny says he is looking forward to sleep. [This must be one of the nights he wasn’t out with other women.] Cher shot me a pained look. “Bill Hamm is coming up,” Sonny remembers Cher saying. He figured they were working on songs together. [How was that allowed? Working on music without Sonny?] When they get to the hotel room, Sonny has Cher saying, “I’m in love with Bill Hamm. I want you to leave.”

Says says he wanted to talk about it. “Let’s talk, okay.” Sonny says he “never suspected” was “shocked” and felt “flat-footed.” He admits he thought of killing Bill Hamm or hitting him. Sonny says when Bill came in to the room, he was oblivious but soon figured it out. (Sonny is always more sympathetic to Cher’s boyfriends and husbands than he was to Cher somehow.) He said Cher had a “fearless nerve.”

Cher says the nerve was all Bill Hamm’s who must have had “balls the size of something huge.” (That’s how much everyone was afraid of Sonny.) Cher doesn’t have Sonny asking to talk about anything. She has him in a chair staring her down and she remembers shocking herself by saying she wants to sleep with Bill in their room. She says she didn’t mean it but it seemed like an expeditious was to escape The Sonny. Cher says Sonny returned silence (not a plea for dialogue) and that he asked her “how long to you think you’ll need?” Cher said two hours and not another word was spoken and Sonny left the room.

According to Sonny, he fantasized about breaking whiskey bottles over their heads or perhaps destroying the suite (which would have been a real rock star move for him). But he just left, felling defeated, like a “zombie.”

Cher acknowledges that she had put Hamm in jeopardy. She said they just spent the night talking. Cher appreciated his friendship and sympathy and she cried on his shoulder.

Sonny says he went to play Blackjack (which is kind of odd) and that Bill’s girlfriend tapped him on the shoulder looking for Bill. Sonny says he told her what was going on. Sonny said, “let’s go to your room” and “she did not hesitate.” Wow. They had retribution sex which was unsatisfying. Sonny says, because they “bumped into each other with the enthusiasm of two people who had just been mugged.” (Very good metaphor though.)

Sonny says Bill returned in the morning. Sonny and the unnamed “girl” where still together in bed. “He brushed by me as if I was not there.” When Sonny returned to the opulent S&C suite, it was 5 am and Cher was asleep in bed. Sonny says he took off his wedding ring (and you wonder if he had it on all those times he was cheating on Cher) and had a “disturbed” sleep next to Cher.

In Cher’s version, Sonny returns at 5 am. They agree on this.

But Sonny says he wanted to talk to Cher when they both woke up and he remembers telling her it wasn’t too late to change things. Cher asked him what he did last night and he said “I screwed Bill’s girlfriend.” And Cher said, “that’s funny, we didn’t even go to bed together.” Sonny said he wanted to ring her neck. (You have to admit, he was easily played into that situation. In his own version of it, anyway.)

Sonny says they then talked the entire day about everything, how the love was gone and he says Cher was “calm and casual.” Sonny says he tried talking to her because he says he knew she didn’t love Bill Hamm. “He was a pawn in her game,” the last “straw to break my back…he was her way out of Sonny & Cher.”

This is all very strident projection because there is no outside collaboration and Cher denies ever wanting to “escape Sonny & Cher,” although she did want to escape the schedule and the loneliness.

Sonny admits he was “also stark, raving mad…the closest I’ve come to real craziness.”

According to Cher there was no conversation. He treated her very coldly when he came back and by then she knew he didn’t love her anymore. She says while she was half asleep Sonny pulled off her wedding ring. (which is very creepy). She says she woke up in the afternoon and Sonny was gone and she knew there was no way she could perform that night. It was then, Cher says, that Sonny sent Chas and their nanny back to L.A., “another of his unilateral decisions.”

Sonny says Cher insisted on her love for Bill during that day-long conversation. Their next showtime was approaching. Sonny says he asked Cher to have Bill come up and they all talked in the dressing room but the “discussion was a futile waste of breath.” Sonny admitted he couldn’t perform until there was resolution to the drama. Their manager had been calling them all day on the phone and leaving notes under their hotel door. At 4 pm, they cancelled the remaining shows that night and for the rest of the run. Unfortunately no one told their opening act, David Brenner, Sonny says, and so he showed up for his cue   at 8 pm.

[It was due to the cancellations that rumors started in the press about Sonny having assaulted Cher. See the Rolling Stone interview of 1973.]

Sonny says, “Denis went off to kill Bill.” (I should watch that movie.)

Sonny says Denis spoke to Cher, saying she wanted to leave town. Dennis agreed it was a good idea. They feared CBS would hear the news. Cher wanted to go to San Francisco with Bill. “Dennis made the arrangements.” He also hired a P.I. to follow her but the P.I. lost Cher at the San Francisco airport.

Sonny says he booked Chas and the Nanny on a plane to L.A. (making it sound like he did that after Cher left town). Sonny says he was “too numb” to function and when he got back to L.A. he stayed in bed depressed for two weeks and got down to 130 pounds.

According to Cher, her exit day happened differently. That day she went walking on the strip alone, but she was sent back into the hotel by autograph seekers. She found Sonny sulking in his dressing room. She asked him for $500 in cash. He gave her the money without saying anything except that America would hate her for breaking them up.

Cher says she left for Paulette and Jerry’s room as a safe hideout. Bill was there getting ready to leave for Texas. It is here, Cher says, when she found out Sonny slept with Bill’s girlfriend in revenge the night before, not from a conversation with Sonny earlier that morning. Cher asked Bill to go to San Francisco with her instead of back to Texas. All she could think of was going to Sausalito. Cher says nothing about Denis Pregnolato arranging anything with Sonny’s blessing. And it’s doubtful she would trust Denis (after Tennis-Lesson-gate). According to Cher is was Jerry Ridgeway who loaned Cher his rental car and he was worried about it, afraid of losing his job. Hamm and Cher then took separate cars from the San Francisco airport but got lost in that fog. Cher knew the P.I. was behind them and they got lost too, she says. They all ended up back at the airport hotel.

But then Sonny says Cher called Denis a day after they left saying she wanted to come home but that she feared Sonny’s reaction. Cher came back to their bedroom but Sonny says they were “strangers, zombies, enemies.” Luckily, Sonny says, they had 54 rooms to spread out in.

In Cher’s version, she says Denis found them at the San Francisco hotel and called to threaten them, saying it would be “really bad for Bill if you don’t come home.”

Cher says within a week they were back filming the TV show. She confirms Sonny looked bad when she arrived home, exhausted. She said he had the demeanor of being beaten and looked gaunt. But immediately she was pulled into a meeting with Irwin, the lawyer, about breaches of contracts and costings of millions.

Sonny says this all happened right before taping the 1972 Christmas show. And that the producers knew but they kept it a secret. At the end of November, Sonny says he went traveling for two weeks to clear his head. He went to France, England, Nassau and Miami but he had no fun. (If only he had only consented to this trip with Cher when she pleaded for it, maybe none of this would have happened.)

In his December 1972 diary, Sonny talks about how they look like a “warm and loving” couple but the situation “felt cold and hateful.” Sonny admits that his next conversations with Cher were about keeping the business together (and that begs the question of why she would agree to that if she was trying to get out of the act). He says he did most of the talking “in a familiar repetition” of past conversations. (So how did he ever know how she felt about anything ever?) He says Cher agreed they were in a “lucrative business” and they agreed to have separate personal lives.

(So either Cher wanted out of the act or she didn’t. It doesn’t sound like she did. She was willing to keep it going.)

A later Sonny diary entry talks about how neither Cher nor Sonny had any kind of family life and that Cher used to worry about that, according to Sonny. “I would tell her we would build our own. Now again I have no family.” Sonny does seem to feel victimized but likes to attribute that to Cher. But it is a sad diary entry, nonetheless. Sonny’s diary gets a bit  melodramatic (understandably): “She’s not mine anymore. Nothing has any meaning.”

Sonny claims Cher was a changed person (too) but that he wouldn’t trade those ten years because “they were the best of my life.” (I do feel Sonny is being honest here but that he has serious blind spots in hindsight.)

Sonny says they each moved into one half of The Big House. Sonny claims they did the same thing “with our money, our daughter and everything else.” (Except, stay tuned, they never did divide the money.)  And, he says, they attempted to separate without disaster. He understands by then that Cher wants freedom. “I thought I was teaching; she thought I was intimidating.” [But then so did the whole band think he was intimidating.]

Cher says she had no money and never did receive her share. Leaving Sonny was losing all the money. (That alone makes you believe she would have stayed if she could). Cher says she was given $5,000 a month (no chump change) while they were separated and a rented condo in Malibu near Moonshadows where she spent a lot of time sleeping. Bill Hamm came to visit there (and you get the sense that here is where she learned what a good relationship could be like) but they weren’t allowed to go out to dinner or to movies and she was never allowed to be seen in the company of other men in public. Sonny had no such stipulations it would seem.

After the Breakup

By the summer of 1973 Sonny says he was no longer trying to get back together with Cher. (Which is a strange thing to say but Cher has reported in the past that there was a period when he was doing that, trying to get back together.)

It seems like pretty soon he moved their secretary, Connie Foreman, into the Sonny wing of the Big House. Sonny mentions Cher didn’t seem upset by this. Sonny calls Connie a former cigarette girl at Pips (that club where Lucille Ball would show up and they would all play backgammon) and I’m reminded here of his violently slapping the cigarette tray into the face of the cigarette girl in their movie Good Times.

Cher says Connie was their assistant and agrees with Sonny. She liked Connie and says Connie would get tired of Sonny’s rules and come over to hang out in Cher’s wing to listen to music and smoke cigarettes.

Cher says she became friends with Sonny again, that they could enjoy each other again. Sonny tells her he thought about throwing her off the balcony back in Vegas and says he would have pleaded insanity. Then getting a book deal and TV show from it. (Yikes!) Cher said living with him made her want to jump off the balcony. They laughed.

Sonny says friendliness on his part was an act “deserving an Academy Award.” Ouch. At home, he says they were two strangers. Sonny says he still saw Bill as her pawn. He thinks the same, he says, about future boyfriends Robert Camilletti and Richie Sambora. Neither of these men have said they felt like pawns and have pretty much only good things to say about their time with Cher (Sambora commenting pretty recently). Gregg Allman’s worst comment about Cher was to say she wasn’t a good singer. (Imagine!) Sonny says Cher “wears men like ornaments.” Then he goes on to admit he went out to party at the clubs after they broke up, “hitting on chicks right and left.” (I think this man has previous sentence amnesia, but we can all see his stripes, right?) Anyway, he says Cher and Bill broke up after several months and she started dating their keyboard player David Paich. Then Bernie Taupin.

This all happened around the time of her hit “Half Breed” and what Cher calls a “grueling summer tour.”

Cher talks about “pianist David Paich,” whose father Marty was their orchestra leader. (Sonny doesn’t mention this.) Cher said this only lasted during the grueling summer tour. Cher says it was during this tour that Cher, Paulette, Paich, the Porcaro bothers, Hungate and Lukather (I will now start calling them Proto-Toto) were hanging out in a playground on the  swings after which Sonny via his loyal guy Denis called each member of the band individually to threaten to break fingers and blow up cars for hanging out with Cher.  The band and even Paulette stopped talking to Cher upon threat of being fired. Only David Brenner would talk to Cher and even he was afraid, according to Cher. But Toto ostensibly could weigh in on this if they would ever admit to working for Sonny & Cher.

So Cher started singing with her back to Sonny. This was around the time of their second Live album at the Sahara in Las Vegas. Cher notes that Sonny’s comments and stories during that show were designed to make her feel guilty. But she maintains that “he was the one who caused it to end.” Cher says she always thought he would come to realize she “was the one who was always there for him, who loved him” and that she knew “he loved me, just not enough to be faithful or kind.”

Sigh. Did he come to realize that?

Sonny says their lawyers did all the real fighting and he moved on thinking about how to survive without S&C.

Cher tells her Lucille Ball story and adds she used Lucy’s lawyer, Mickey Rudin. Sonny calls Paulette “our secretary” and accuses her of spreading rumors that Cher wanted to get back together with him. Cher has Paulette telling Cher “good for you.”

Sonny talks about a “bad” trip to Paris. He doesn’t mention Cher being there but Cher says around this time she went to Paris with Sonny. They stayed at the Raphael hotel and this is where Sonny’s was taking a bath and Cher is telling him modern girls won’t put up with his bullshit anymore. Cher talks about Sonny’s M.O. of gift-buying to placate the cheating. Sonny doesn’t mention any of this.

They go to the 1973 Golden Globes together to give the award for Best Musical or Comedy Series. Cher mentions a fox coat she wore and  multicolored skirt which she says is one of her favorite looks of all time.

Cher talks about Captain Spike Nesmyth, the captured pilot who was a Sonny & Cher fan and the POW/MIA bracelets they wore. Sonny doesn’t mention this. Cher talks about Chastity’s 4th birthday party. [There’s a magazine article depicting one of those birthday parties. I’ll try to dig it up.] Cher talks about going to the 1973 Academy Awards with Sonny in the gold dress to present the award for best song, “The Morning After” from The Poseidon Adventure.

Cher tells the therapist story and Sonny’s interloping. He doesn’t tell this story. Cher admits going to Joe DeCarlo again for friendship and advice. DeCarlo tells her about Sonny’s infidelities with all the womens, including hookers, waitresses and dancers, how he would book an extra room. Women started telling Cher these stories too, saying Sonny claimed he had an open marriage with Cher.

Cher tells the Jack Benny/Johnny Carson party story where she went with Sonny and got kicked out for laughing at Lucille Ball’s irreverent political commentary. Sonny doesn’t mention this story.

Cher talks about feeling liberated and independent and adventurous, dressing how she liked, learning how to shop for food and sign checks. Poignantly she talks about not having to worry about whether she was laughing too loud. The laughing-too-loud thing. This is always a sign of an uneven relationship and I’ve witnessed it with couples within my own family and in song.

One page 214 of the paperback Sonny talks about the Mother Nature skit and the tension on the set. They both talk about this skit. They both agree Cher ad-libed telling Sonny to go fuck himself. Sonny has nobody laughing and the director suggesting they try it again and Sonny saying “not without our lawyers.”

Cher talks about the skit on page 288 (hardback). She said it was a Chiffon Margarine commercial spoof and it was a few days after leaving Sonny. “What’s the secret of life?” Sonny asks. “Go fuck yourself,” Cher responds. She says Sonny collapsed in hysterics and she did too, along with Sonny’s comment “not without our lawyers.”

She says later Sonny called her act of leaving him in Vegas her “Nagasaki moment,” words he had printed for her on a gold dog tag. In disagreement with Sonny (who feels he should get an Oscar), Cher maintains they weren’t acting affection after they separated. “You can’t fake that shit,” she says.

But in any case, they both agreed they could easily be Sonny & Cher professionally. Cher says she liked working with him but didn’t know “how to read him” anymore. They say the exact same thing about each other.

By December of 1973, she was seeing David Geffen.

David Geffen Susses Out Cher Enterprises

Sonny says Cher turned suddenly into “an ice maiden” and was testy to the whole crew, less of a team player, less approachable and kept saying things like “I have to talk to David.” Sonny thought she meant Proto-Toto’s David Paich but it was this producer fellow. The irony of all ironies is this Sonny comment: “I wrote him off as a little wimpy guy.” (First off, it’s totally wrong and second it’s almost verbatim what the mayor of Palm Springs wrote off Sonny as in the 1980s at his first running for mayor). But Sonny quickly admits now he misjudged the man who would become “the most powerful, respected, wealthy and feared man in Hollywood…one of my great misjudgments.” That must be his second biggest misjudgments after thinking he could mistreat Cher for so long and keep a golden rainbow coming out of his ass. (Too much?)

Anyway, Cher says Sonny was uneasy when he found out about Geffen being as smart and powerful as Geffen was, “much more than himself.” Cher starts hanging out A-listers now: Bob Dylan and his wife, Jack Nicholson and Anjelica Houston, Warren Beatty and his girlfriend Julie Christy, Lou Adler.

Cher says it was Sonny who began to change. At work, things had been friendly but he stopped being friendly. Not his goofy fun self on the set. (Someone from the show needs to weigh in here.)

Sonny saw Geffen as in a conspiracy to get Cher a solo CBS show (and solo record and movie deals). Cher denies this. Sonny admits Cher denies this but he believes it anyway. Cher says that Sonny & Cher’s agent pitched the idea to them once at Geffen’s house but that they asked him to leave and never spoke to him again because he was ostensibly Sonny’s friend.

But Geffen was exploring her existing contracts. David and Cher then learned about Cher Enterprises and how Cher had zero votes, rights or stake in the company and was entitled to none of their income over the last ten years. Sonny owned 95% and their lawyer owned 5%. Cher was an employee and she received the noblese oblige of Sonny plus 2 weeks vacation. She also has no way to make money outside of this enterprise without Sonny’s permission.

(Just the name of it sounds demeaning and exploitive.)

Sonny talks about contracts. He says their TV contract had 3 more years. They had just finished year 2. Cher agrees with this. She says she was was locked into the contract for 2 more years. She says she had stayed during the bad times, Sonny’s movie dramas, the tax fiasco and was heartbroken and “so mad” and “thank God I had David.”

They each represent each other as cold. And Sonny, we have seen, has a tendency to project. Not that Cher was probably the best communicator there ever was at this time.

Sonny has Cher saying he and Geffen should get into a room together and whoever wins wins. Cher has Sonny refusing to renegotiate during her attempts to talk it over and being met with Sonny’s cold eyes and his smoking cigars. She had a child to raise, her sister and her mother to worry about, she says. She couldn’t work for nothing.

By January of 1974 Sonny says he is tired of faking a marriage and that Cher was refusing to work anymore “for our corporation Cher Enterprises.” (Our.) A few pages later he says “Cher and I were employed by Cher Enterprises. Cher and I were 50/50 partners. That is not only how the corporation was set up, that is the law of community property in California.”

Then a page later Sonny contradicts himself and says, “when Cher wanted out of her contractual obligations, when she wanted to split Cher Enterprises 50/50, I said no.”

Sonny has the gall to say about himself in the third person, “Cher decided to shoot Sonny in the back.”

Anyway, his reasoning was that he had managed them all those years for nothing. Plus, he feared Cher would step into all those deals he worked so hard to make, leaving him out (just as he was leaving Cher out now). That he did all the backstage work was not an insignificant or untrue claim. Cher admits he did all the heavy lifting behind the scenes. A fair deal would have been to pay him out for what would have been a manager’s salary.

But listen to me, trying to figure a way through for Sonny & Cher.

No biographer of Cher disputes that the contract was 95/5 Sonny and his lawyer. This doesn’t seem like a situation of Cher’s word against Sonny’s. But I suppose former biographers all could have taken Cher at her word and not researched the actual contract.

But here’s the thing: Cher received no money on the corporation’s earnings after its demise, leading us to believe…she did not, in fact, have an ownership stake in it. She finally got The Big House (no small thing but she says she had to buy it from Sonny) and a portion of the publishing royalties off Sonny & Cher songs, which Sonny will soon express disgruntlement about.

Cher says, “Sonny undoubtedly was responsible for making us who we were…[but] he could never have achieved that without my voice….He made me leave.” No Cher without Sonny.  But also, she says, no Sonny without Cher.

And it does sound like Sonny brought about the disruption he insists he feared the most. Sonny says their act had contracts out for 10-15 years (at Caesar’s Palace and on MCA). And, I think, it would have been amazing to see if they could have survived very bigly into the era of MTV. I doubt they would have. But in any case, Sonny says Cher told him she refused to honor the contracts.

Cher did call Fred Silverman and ask him not to pick up the TV show for another season, later insisting to him that she would never leave to do a solo show on an another network (there had been rumors), which is kind of an implicit negotiation to do a solo show on CBS. Cher told him she couldn’t work as an employee with no salary. This was around the time of their opening number “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” and Cher noting that his smile did not quite reach his eyes.

Sonny says, “I was not going to be the one to end it. But Cher refused to work anymore.” (For nothing, he forgets to say.) Two paragraphs later he says, “the week of the final episode of The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour, I filed for legal separation from Cher. I’d absorbed enough. I wanted it over.”

So much for “I wasn’t going to be the one.” Cher says he filed for divorce on 18 February but I think Sonny is right and that it was legal separation. Some editor should have looked that up as public record?

After the Friday taping, (Cher says it was in January 1974 and everyone was crying, her mom, sister and the crew, but Sonny doesn’t mention it), Sonny says they took separate jets to their final Houston Astrodome concert. Sonny says they earned $150,000 that day. He says they were the biggest, hottest act in the country at that time and they were playing what was the largest indoor venue in America.

The both agree the show was miserable, a rodeo venue that smelled like shit. Cher says it was a working rodeo with Elvis and the Jackson Five on the bill too. This is where her hair got caught in her dress’ zipper and Sonny had to cut it free with the scissors.  Sonny says Cher left the venue without a word to Sonny or their crew and he was left to say all the goodbyes and farethewells. Cher says all the people they worked with were loyal to Sonny.

Sonny says Cher filed for divorce on February 20 and claimed involuntary servitude. Sonny calls her a “characteristic victim” (says the complaining victim) Cher doesn’t dispute the divorce filing and says Sonny countersued for lost earnings and sued Geffen for interfering and asked for a temporary restraining order against him.

Cher says the news was “brutal” against her but Sonny continually complains that he was the one Cher successfully made out to be the villain. At the same time, Sonny was suing Cher for 14 million and Geffen for 13 million. Cher is just suing for divorce and contract freedom but Sonny keeps claiming for Cher it was all about the money.

The Big House, Part 2

Sonny also says Cher changed the locks on the house. But Sonny doesn’t mention that he kicked Cher out first and Cher no longer had the Malibu lease so she was homeless and moved in with David Geffen. (This was the era of Joni Mitchell being there all the time too while making Court and Spark).

Here is where Cher contradicts her own story when she says, “he never wanted that house. It was my dream house…” But back on page 268 (hardback) she says “Sonny wanted the house too.” And he did at least want to keep it from her. But by the time of his own memoir, he never liked that house. Cher was advised to return to the house and she says at that time she did change the locks and Sonny & Connie had to move into the St. Cloud house which “he made me sign over to him.”

In his diary, Sonny says “I have no good feelings left for Cher.” He finds it all confounding because “Cher is not a fighter” and he doesn’t believe Cher and Geffen are in love, that it’s a relationship of convenience and Cher has made him her pawn.” He sees Cher as, and I quote, “either a subservient Geisha girl or a killer.”

Wow.

Cher eventually sells The Big House fully furnished (a few months after Elijah’s birth) at a price “too low” and to a “carpet baron.” But she doesn’t say why she sells it.

Parenting Chas

Sonny says Chastity is confiding in him that she feels neglected because Cher has become a surrogate mom to Tatum O’Neal. Cher barely mentions Tatum O’Neal aside from one dismissive sentence. Cher says she and Sonny are civil when discussing Chas on the phone but Sonny says “Cher, in true passive-aggressive form, forced me to deal with Geffen in order to spend time with Chastity….So I wound up negotiating with Geffen over when I could and could not see my daughter.”

Cher says Chas was friendly with Geffen at first and then something changed and she took Sonny’s view of Geffen. Later,  Cher said, they both decided not to trash each other’s lovers to Chastity (if not in memoirs). Sonny said he applied for full custody, which Cher said “shattered me.” She had taken Chas to Hugh Hefner’s to play in the pool and Sonny used this as the reason. Cher says Hugh Hefner had known Chas her whole life. And it’s true, Sonny even booked Sonny & Cher on his Playboy show and had been pictured as a family at his house. So WTF Sonny.

In the end, Sonny got even less time from the judge than Cher has planned to give him. But they worked out a cordial deal between themselves.

In Chas’ three books, he has not weighed in extensively on this time period.

The Solo Shows, The Settlement & Gregg Allman

Now here is where reading Sonny’s memoir the first time I completely lost confidence in him as a reliable narrator. Sonny claims that in the summer of 1974 Cher announced The Cher Comedy Hour. No other Cher biographies mention this and neither does Cher in her memoir.

Sonny says Cher immediately went to work on a new series and it was “an instant smash,” that she was on the covers of People and Newsweek (it was Time, Cher wasn’t on the cover of Newsweek until the 1980s), and “women embraced her as a role model and everything I knew she was capable of began happening. I had no problem with Cher’s success.”

I actually believe this part. I think in some ways Sonny was Cher biggest fan and her worst friend and lover. And, as a big Cher fan (and a big Sonny & Cher fan), it makes me feel very torn about Sonny.

Sonny continues to lament that Cher cast him as the bad guy and that Cher basically “walked off with the franchise” and with it took away “his whole sense of identity.”

I believe that too.

But here’s where I lose sympathy with Sonny’s  chronology. He says his friends, manager, agent and just general people said ‘look at Cher’s successful solo show. There’s no reason why Sonny Bono cannot have a hit TV show, too.’ So in the summer of 1974 he says he presented a solo show to ABC with the pitch “if CBS was having success with the Cher variety hour…”

Sonny’s show debut was on August 14, 1974. He excerpts his diary to say “I have been knocked down more times…and now I’ll have to be judged all over again.” (No victim here.)

The big problem is that his show premiered and was canceled after 13 weeks in 1974 and Cher’s solo show didn’t even begin airing until February 1975 and this is because Sonny’s lawsuits kept Cher from working on anything new for almost the entirely of 1974. There was the Dark Lady album on MCA, her last album on that label, and some modeling work with Vogue.

So his whole long story is false. Cher’s show did not happen before his. How could he misremember that?

Of course Sonny’s solo show didn’t succeed, although it had the majority of the cast and crew of The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour and the same formula. It was just missing that one magical thing that was maybe worth at least 50%, the star power.

Cher said it was “a copy of our show” and had rotating female guests to stand in for her. She expresses sympathy that the network put him in an impossible timeslot at ABC, on Sunday against Kojak and Disney and that she didn’t want him to fail. She says she was backstage with Chas for the first taping of the show.

Sonny says, “It didn’t work for a lot of reasons.” (Another example of Sonny knows; he wasn’t caught not knowing.) “It was the only game in town, so I played it.” (A far cry from ‘why can’t Sonny Bono have a hit TV show like the Cher show that’s only happening in my head.’)

Cher said while Sonny’s show was on the air, CBS announced her new show would air on 8 pm Sunday’s against Sonny’s show which Cher thought was cruel to them both. But his show “was cancelled before mine began.” Which is the truth. And how Sonny could have published a different story is mind-boggling since it was an easy thing for any editor or fact checker to look up in any library’s reference section. (I was doing that in the late 70s, so I know how easy that was.)

This also confirms a childhood memory that I’ve always had that I could never explain, that for a minute the public thought they might have to choose between watching a Sonny show or a Cher show.

Anyway, then Cher tells the Average White Band overdose story.  She said Sonny was furious about it. But he doesn’t mention it in his book.

Sonny laments that at the cancellation of his solo show he was “alone now” and “it was a bitch.” He says by now Cher’s show was in its second season and that the first had done well. (But it hadn’t even started yet.) Connie is gone by the end of 1974 and he’s very down about his situation, says his diary. But then he tells a story about going to David Geffen and Cher’s 1974 Christmas party where he meets Raquel Welch and they leave the party to go to a movie together. They saw The Towering Inferno and left early because they both hated it.

Let’s pause to consider Sonny’s comments about Connie. “I was trying to get Con off my back. The only thing she did well was fight.” He blames the relationship on rebounding. He admits he’s still friends with Cher, (which is why he was invited and went to her Christmas party).

He then tells about his PR man Jay Bernstein (who “was better at launching Farrah Fawcett’s career than mine”). He takes his variety show on the road with Richard Lewis because David Brenner wasn’t available. Later Tim Conway opens for him and they become friends. But the show didn’t do well. He says Cher kept bashing him in the press. He says he’s not the dictator Cher said he was but he never mentions the whole El Primo thing and his own 1960s diary entries about “keeping her in line.”

And interestingly, it’s here where Sonny brings up the big fight they had after going out to see The Dirty Dozen. This is the fight Cher mentions occurring in the 1960s. He said it was their worst and funniest fight. He says the fight was about whether Cher had a killer instinct. Sonny thought she did. Cher didn’t think so. This led to a shouting match where Sonny commanded Cher to let him out and she did and then drove off “leaving me to walk 10 miles home.” His guy Denis picked him up. That was “the extent of his irate machismo she found necessary to criticize.” Oy vey.

In Cher’s version she let him out at Dead Man’s Curve (on Sunset Boulevard) and he was upset that she liked the movie and he accused her of being “sexually frustrated.” Cher attributed the fight in hindsight to Sonny’s tendency to force a riff so he could leave and go out on a date with someone else.

Sonny contends Cher never complained (except he has spent pages telling us that she always complained, that ingrate). He blames her for not communicating her unhappiness to him, (after complaining that she was always telling him she was unhappy). He admitted he knew she hated Vegas. But still Sonny chalks it all up to Cher’s villainization and lies.

He then goes into his own victimization: his ego was shot, he felt sorry for himself. But then he meets the model Susie Coelho in Palm Springs via Jay Bernstein.

He then talks about Cher’s new “peculiar relationship” with Gregg Allman and how “nothing attracted Cher like a mean, tough and potentially dangerous rock and roller.” (Uh…well, Sonny…err…are you describing yourself here too inadvertently?)

Another funny thing is that pages back Sonny says, “Geffen was exactly the kind of man Cher was attracted to—a powerful guy who took charge of her life and made things happen. To me he was a ruthless cutthroat.”

So…yeah. That’s how Cher likes ’em: dangerous and powerful and Sonny. Yeesh.

Cher says she and David Geffen had stopped living together in January of 2025 although they were still dating when she met Gregg Allman at the Troubadour one night.

Sonny and Cher kind of do describe her relationship with Allman similarly though in its “ups and downs.”  Sonny says it was “red-hot” to “non-existent” and that’s not too far from how Cher defines it too. Sonny admits Allman is a “gifted blues man” but also a “coked-out druggie” and a “southern cracker.” He uses the same hyperbole he used about Geffen to say Allman was “one of rock’s most volatile personalities.”

Cher has always insisted Allman was very gentle and sweet. So they disagree about that. But Cher admits “I had never been with a bad boy and he had a reputation as one quintessential bad boy.”

Sonny says Allman was “bent on self-destruction” and mentions the suicide of Jenny Arness, (a topic Cher avoids in her memoir). Sonny reminds us that Cher is not a drinker and was “as antidrug as I was.” He makes fun of her use of the name  “Gregory” instead of Gregg. Sonny thinks there’s some connection between “Greggory” and Cher’s father, John Sarkisian, who Sonny claims Cher did not say goodbye to before he passed away even though her biological dad had “cleaned up by then” because she “never forgave him for deserting her in childhood.” (Cher seems pretty ambivalent about Sarkisian in her memoirs but maybe there’s some kind of psychological connection there.) Sonny says he was happy that the new relationship pushed aside his “nemesis David Geffen.” With Geffen gone, Sonny says the two of them started chatting again and Cher was always asking him for advice.

Cher agrees that she would reach out to Sonny in a crisis and he knew how to handle the press.

Cher says Sonny called her up to invite her to appear on The Tonight Show hosted by George Segal as a surprise guest and they fell into their usual banter. This appearance helped Cher’s bad press around her Gregg Allman troubles. Sonny also helped with Chastity when Cher needed to spend time with Allman in a Buffalo rehab.

“As far as I was concerned, Cher and I were equal partners.” Sonny says he still “resented she was able to go on with her career, capitalizing on our past success and continuing to make millions while I was slogging my way across dime-sized stages for gas money.” That is a great sentence but it’s also ridiculous because he had the chance to keep making money with Cher if he let her actually make money on the act. He says he was 50% responsible for her stardom.

So is he saying he should get 50% of all her earnings in perpetuity? Now he’s all 50% guy.

The divorce breakdown according to Sonny: Cher got the 54-room Big House (although Cher claims she had to buy him out for that). Sonny got the 32-room St. Cloud house, which he says he had been renting out until he needed to move back into it with Connie. Cher was allowed to void all existing Sonny & Cher contracts but in exchange had to pay Sonny $750,000 in cash or work it off performing as Sonny & Cher, a combination of which she did in 1976 and 1977. Also, “she received 50% of all publishing royalties from the songs I wrote, checks she still cashes,” Sonny says as if that’s incredible.

But to think about it, the only money Cher received from 10 years of performing as Sonny & Cher (aside from gifts Sonny gave her when they were together, houses they lived in and shopping she did with their money), was nothing. The company structure put her in debt for 750k (according to Sonny; Cher says it was higher). The only money she ever made for herself from ten years of working as Sonny & Cher was from the publishing royalty agreement in the divorce, the very same one Mary Bono tried unsuccessfully to null and void a few years ago by arguing that a divorce agreement should die with the death of the spouse. Cher ended up having to sue for unpaid royalties (so at some point she stopped cashing those checks) and it’s unclear whether that was before or after Sonny died. He had no will and his estate was divided up between Mary Bono and his four children.

Here are two articles on the Mary Bono lawsuit:

The divorce was finalized on 26 June 1974 and 4 days later she marries Gregg Allman. From Cher we find out this was because she was pregnant but Sonny doesn’t know that yet. Sonny says her marriage and filing for divorce 9 days later was a “public joke.” Sonny says she confided to him in tears that Allman was mostly upset that she worked so much and was “no fun” and “never there.” This tells us more about the situation than we see in Cher’s memoir which kind of hedges around their issues.

Interestingly both Susie Coelho and Gregg Allman get not-nearly the ink you would expect they would as the next Sspouses to follow Sonny and Cher.

Sonny said Allman and Cher would come over and use his pool, which was more private than hers and that Cher would suntan there nude, which shocked Sonny. Sonny says, “Cher had become very liberal.” But then he admits he doesn’t really know her anymore and gets more information about her from People Magazine.

Sonny says Cher’s show took a dive in the ratings. Cher agrees with this and explains what happened. In the beginning Cher was a bigger hit than the Comedy Hour, according to Cher. The premiere had 21 million viewers and the show finally beat out The Wonderful World of Disney, which CBS had been trying and failing to do. But the show also had 2 censors that the Comedy Hour didn’t have, which made work difficult. But during the summer break, CBS played Joey & Dad in her timeslot and it bombed. So when she came back, her ratings fell from 23.3 to 7 and suddenly she was competing with The Six Million Dollar Man (which Sonny did a guest appearance on.) Also, Cher admits, David Geffen had left in aggravation over her relationship with Gregg Allman and without his contacts, they couldn’t get the A-list music acts anymore. Plus doing a show solo was too much.

Reuniting as Sonny & Cher

Sonny says Cher pitched a reboot of the Sonny & Cher show and he was incredulous but that Cher and Denis talked and worked things out. Sonny seems like he did it for opportunist reasons. He said Primtetime Network TV was “the kind of exposure I needed.” He said neither of them had made it solo (except Cher had kinda made it solo and would go on to make it solo, she just hit the first bump in the road). He said their friendship was like American and Soviet spies sitting on a beach; they could kill each other but they liked each other.”

Cher agrees that she asked Sonny back and he “instantly” said yes. She said Sonny negotiated with CBS the new deal and that it allowed Cher to repay Sonny for those cancelled contracts by way of the new show plus “road gigs.” He also had to square the pregnancy situation with CBS but Cher admits that Allman was “otherwise out of my life” at that time. Later, during show opening dialogues, they would mention him from time to time (as if he was backstage). Allman was at that time upset by the show’s press and that Cher was again working with Sonny. He told her he felt “heartbroken” and “made a fool of.”

Sonny talks about the the CBS press conference which he says occurred at Television City. Cher says it was the Beverly Wilshire.(It happened on 4 December 1975).

The new show premiered on 1 February 1976. Cher said it was one of the most watched programs in TV history at that time, up there with Who Shot J.R. (I remember hearing that statistic in other bios too but unfortunately there is not much online about this fact of TV history.) Cher says she thought the show was sharper and more relevant. They lost the mother-in-law jokes. She’s right. The second show is better. She said Sonny persuaded Harold Battiste into becoming their musical director. Cher said there was a lot of discussion about what songs they should sing as divorced people.

During the second show, Sonny said they got along better and he was sympathetic about Cher’s problems with Allman. He said their ratings were in the 20s but then CBS switched their time slot, which is what led to lower ratings and cancellation of the show. “Both Cher and I wanted to continue with the show.”

Cher agrees with this and talks about the last episode with a retrospective of 1960s Sonny & Cher singing “Baby Don’t Go,” which Sonny said he we wrote for her. Cher says they were on the road when they heard CBS wasn’t renewing the show. During the tour Cher said Sonny took pictures of Elijah learning to crawl down hotel hallways (just like Chas). Cher used a lot of Sonny’s photos and footage of Chas and Elijah on her first solo tour for Take Me Home and her Vegas/Monte Carlo shows. She has always always maintained Sonny was a good father and very good to Elijah.

Sonny says the show cancellation freed them to do concerts in huge arenas but Cher hated the road and got bored and sick, depressed and “insular.” She missed Elijah and at the halfway mark called off the rest of the tour and paid Sonny cash. And that was the end of Sonny & Cher, according to Sonny. Cher agrees she cut the tour short and paid her debts from her own pocket. She says she ended up paying him 1.4 million in cash, not $750,000.

Cher says after the tour, Sonny moved to Palm Springs where he would host BBQs and Cher would go sometimes with Chas. Sonny never ate, Cher said, just tasted things. Cher says he went through girlfriends and cheated on all of them. After one breakup he came to Cher tearful and gave her an apology in her kitchen. Sonny and this woman got back together, Cher says, and married and Chas was their bridesmaid. Cher calls the woman “Sarah” which, interestingly, is the name of one of Sonny’s girlfriends on The Love Boat (it’s that Deacon Dark episode where his girlfriend is deaf and he sings a sweet song to her at the end.) But Sonny’s next wife was named Susie.

Sonny says Cher was supportive Susie in Sonny’s life and he blames her for that, too, saying that “given her track record” he shouldn’t’ have listened. He says Susie and him were with each other for the wrong reasons and he was just lonely. (I’ve read Coelho’s book; she has nothing but good things to say about Sonny in it.)

Sonny comments on Cher’s albums around that time, Cherished (“a flop”) and Allman and Woman, Two the Hard Way (failed), and he dismisses her attempt to suppress her name on the Allman album cover as “something wrong” because she “hates to share the spotlight.” (Why would she even do the duet album then?)  Those two albums were probably the nadir of Cher’s 1970s output by they are the only post-breakup Cher albums he mentions: not Half Breed or Dark Lady (both which earned #1 hits), Stars or Take Me Home (which had another top 10 hit).  We’ll see later if he has anything to say about her 1980s comeback records.

Cher says it was her idea to drop her name because she wanted people to focus on the music and not her life in the tabloids.

Sonny says they became neighbors when Cher purchased the “Moorish mansion” (the Egyptian house) on Benedict Canyon Drive. Cher and Susie were friends and Cher would again sunbathe at their pool (nude again). It was here where Sonny first saw Cher’s large butt tattoo of the butterfly. He attributed that again to Cher trying to generate shock value and create controversy so she could then tell critics to “stick it.” Which, Sonny says in a moment of honesty, was “a trick she learned from me and I learned it from Phil Spector.”

Cher talks about going on tour with Allman in Japan and Europe but after he had a relapse she left the tour to return home to do final shows with Sonny in Hawaii. There Sonny had invited Bill Hamm back to the band to “mess with me,” Cher says. But they ended up reconnecting. It was here the Sonny & Cher act ends in Cher’s story. Of her experience with Allman Cher says she has to “learn things the hard way.”

Sonny talks about Chas’ school problems and finding out she was grades behind and this triggers his feelings of neglect (and particularly his neglect of Christy). But he doesn’t yet mention the dyslexic diagnosis.

In Cher’s version of the story, the principal called her to talk about Chas’ emotional problems and bad grades. Cher was shocked because Chas was always “level headed and responsible.” A teacher took Cher aside and told her to get Chas tested for a learning disability and they discovered Chas had dyslexia. Cher then suddenly understood her own learning disability.

And that’s the end of Sonny & Cher in the 1970s in both of their memoirs. Neither of them mention the Mike Douglas Show reunion they did in 1979, but there are two more public reunions ahead: Cher at the opening of Sonny’s La Cienega Italian restaurant Bono and their iconic reunion on Late Night with David Letterman in the fall of 1987. Sonny will still be with Susie Coelho when his restaurant opens but that relationship will end and he will meet 22-year-old college student and restaurant customer Mary Whitaker there. Those two had a 26-year age difference but can you remember anybody ever talking about that? No. Because they didn’t.

I forgot how much Sonny villainizes himself, unintentionally, in his book. Cher is the “killer” and he is the perpetual victim, taking very little responsibility for what he does. But, it all kind of came to roost for him anyway, as it often does. If he had been fun to work with (and if you read Murray Langston’s testimony, maybe only Cher thought he was fun to work with) then he would have continued to work in Hollywood, despite his divorce from Cher. Cher said extensive CBS audience research showed the public liked him. I don’t think it was evident that Cher’s comments to the press were the biggest issue for Sonny and his show-business career. Two record labels requested he stop producing Cher and he didn’t go on to become a TV or movie mogul despite all those meetings. By Sonny’s own admission, Cher wasn’t involved with any of that so how could she have ruined it?

That said, Sonny did a lot of brilliant things for Sonny & Cher and he did turn a raw, anxiety-ridden teenager into a glamourous superstar with an iconic career trajectory. And that’s not chump change either.

This level of detailed Sonny & Cher obsessing was immensely pleasurable. My little 7-yeard old self can die happy now.

Forever Fitness of the Heart and Mind

Because I dug out Cher’s book Forever Fit recently for pasta sauce recipes, I decided to sit down last week to reread it. The last time I read it I was 21 years old (right when it came out) and I didn’t know nothin’ about nothin’ so I’m sure a lot of it (ok, all of it) went right over my head.

But I would like to say a few things about it now as it is probably the first really memoir-like thing Cher ever published outside of Sonny & Cher’s reality TV and video moments. And since it was at the end of her big movie spree, it has mostly stories about the 80s and where her head was at in the 80s, which I don’t want to get into yet because Cher hasn’t finished her “official” memoirs.

But I do want to talk about the book in context with all the other celebrity beauty books that came out in the 1980s. It was the golden-era of celebrity beauty self-help books and my St. Louis library shelves, Thornhill, were full of them.

Like the Susan Dey book we discussed last year,  I was really into celebrity guidebooks when I was a teen in the 1980s. I was seeking mentors for adulthood and I poured over the instructions. Took notes even because that’s completely nerdy. I tried out all the products, advice and exercises and loved every minute of it. I think this is why I loved the Cher informercials so much. It’s like a self-help beauty demonstration come to life.

These are the books I mostly remember, Christie Brinkley’s Outdoor Beauty and Fitness Book (which I just reordered for a song on Thrift Books), Revlon’s Art of Beauty, The Raquel Welch Total Beauty and Fitness Program and (I forgot these once iconic, now forgotten) The Beauty Principal and The Body Principal by Victoria Principal.

The whole trend started with Jane Fonda’s Workout Book (which I also had and followed lazily), which was a real phenomenon and started a whole high-impact aerobics craze which unintendedly is now requiring copious amounts of boomers and Gen-Xers to have knee and hip replacement surgeries. These were coffee-table sized books, some paperback, some hardback. Linda Evans had one. There was one by Joan Collins and Cheryl Tiegs. Vogue had a few.

Brinkley even has a new one out called Timeless Beauty. And yes, I’ve today purchased a used copy of that, too. These beauty books were also exercises (punny!) in biography as they always had long preambles and lots of personal stories. Jane Fonda talked about her journey through bulimia for example. Cher talks about her history with diet and exercise too and that sometimes leads into stories about food on movie sets or skin care under television lights.

I purchased Raquel Welch’s book and tried to learn yoga from it. And Cher is right in Forever Fit when she says you need to see video of people doing the poses and exercises (or see them live and in person). Exercise, as Cher says, is not a recipe. To that very point, I found the Welch’s book indecipherable. You couldn’t tell which pictures where poses that flowed into other pictures or how long you were supposed to hold poses. It was so impossible to follow it felt mystical. But she looked great anyway.

I don’t know how well Forever Fit did commercially when it came out in 1991 because it just wasn’t like those other large-sized celebrity beauty books with lots of pictures of Cher applying her own makeup and eating healthy things and especially exercising. That would come later in the 1990s with her two workout videos. It was novel-sized and had very few photos at all, and those are just publicity stills of Cher to start off each chapter.

I read now that reviews were mixed at the time. Some liked the book’s comprehensive approach but Cher was always a target for plastic surgery, which she addresses in the book,  and the ironic charge of inauthenticity, which has followed her all her career but has ultimately proven to be her core superpower and her kryptonite. She has always been unable to be anyone else but herself. So whatever.

More recent reviews call the book “old school” but that its advice stands the test of time….because it was based on science and not fads. For example, the book was already talking about the dangers of high-impact exercising.

But anyway, it’s so much more wordy than the other books were, which, at times, makes it feel like a slog when Robert Hass goes deep into body chemistry. Food science seems like frontier science, constantly evolving. So recent reviewers have noted some of the advice is dated. But the book wants you to understand food science so you won’t get caught up in the diet fads that come and go with eternal and predictable regularity. And for that, I think, the book has earned some lasting respect.

And as I’ve said earlier here, Cher never presents herself as the expert or guru. She always works alongside real experts who have helped her on her own journey.

So in some ways I found the impulse of this book more generous than the other beauty books (if also less fun) and less “be like me.” I had absolutely no way to be like the California sunshine of Christie Brinkley (who does that better?), even less than I had a way of becoming Cher. But I never had the sense Cher would want me to. In fact, the book implied being Cher wasn’t always a bed of roses.

It’s also interesting to me that there are no makeup tips in the book. None. Zero. And Cher has, since press for Burlesque, talked about her love of watching her mother and her mother’s friends put on makeup. In the memoir we find out she’s been doing her own makeup for much of her career and was as obsessed about it as makeup artist and friend Kevyn Aucoin. So that would maybe be something she would be an expert at, but we don’t get such tips from this book.

In any case, the impulse for this post isn’t about the beauty or exercise aspects of the book (which just reading it has gotten me once again off my bookish ass and onto my treadmill) or the biographical snapshots, both aspects that I want to delve into later sometime within a broader context.

What I really want to focus on now is how the book constantly makes connections between the mind and body. Cher constantly brings exercise back to her mental health, her situational and recurring anxiety and depression.

At the very end of the book, Cher starts talking about spirituality and trying to do one spiritual thing every day, how she does this with books, books-on-tape and meditations, all of which she brings with her on tour as part of her post-show, makeup-removing rituals. Talk of this bleeds into self-help and she gives a list of her self-help book recommendations:

  • Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey (Hazelden Meditations)
  • Mediations for Women Who Do Too Much by by Anne Wilson Schaef (there’s now a journal version and one for men too by Jonathon Lazear with an introduction by Anne Wilson Schaef)
  • Healing the Child Within by Charles Whitfield (which, as Cher says, comes with a workbook)
  • The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck (he’ll come back in again later)
  • Stranger in a Strange Land, the novel by Robert A. Heinlein (which I read in high school)
  • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
  • Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky
  • Codependent No More by Melody Beattie  (This was one book in my little, remaining self-help stack, one of the excellent transforming books recommended by my own L.A. therapist and years later I loaned my underlined copy to a colleague at IAIA in Santa Fe and her boyfriend ripped it apart in a violent rage of anti-self-help-books, she said, and so she couldn’t return it to me; and that was a few weeks before the historic 100-year restraining order of Santa Fe.)

So I decided to try one of these, Healing the Child Within, because Cher says this is one of the best books she’s ever read and because it comes with a workbook which is like luring nerd-crack under the nose of a scholar (Jane Fonda Workout Book had the same effect subliminally unfortunately). And I found both the book and workbook on Thrift Books for around 5 bucks each and talked a friend of mine yesterday, one who I do these kinds of self-help explorations with, into taking the journey with me.

But then….then the self-help paragraphs of Forever Fit metamorphize into Cher talking about beyond books and tapes and about therapy and how she once thought it was “a bunch of crap” and “horseshit.” But at a particularly bad time she reached out to the author Scott Peck (listed above) for a therapist recommendation. She was experiencing a build-up of medical, personal and career issues just “a few months” after winning her Oscar for Moonstruck. (You would imagine that being the most blissful time in a person’s life, endless months of basking in an Oscar win.)

Cher says she didn’t want a woman therapist because she thought they would not be smarter than she was and that you need a therapist who is smarter than you are (even if you have to try a few bad ones out first). She admits this was “unbelievably sexist and stupid” but “that was my experience” and the author Scott Peck ended up recommending someone, a woman, who ended up being just what Cher says she needed, someone who taught her a lot and uncovered things she had been suppressing.

I’ll end with Cher’s own amazing words:

“I was afraid of change for a long time. But as I changed, I found it more comfortable than I anticipated. And so it seemed more intelligent to keep changing. I was always really critical and demanding of myself and other people and got really angry when people didn’t do what I wanted. I learned they can’t always do what I want. The expectation is stupid and childish….I learned to observe without judging. I am now a much nicer person. Everybody comments on that now. I used to go through life completely tough on the outside and never reveal my insides to anyone. I always loved other people but I could also be curt and critical and showing love by criticizing.”

Cher says she felt it was her job to fix everything all the time because ever since she was 6 years old in her family unit, that was her job. “Everybody came to me with their problems.” And she would get overwhelmed and cranky.

I don’t know. I just thought it was really brave to say all that.

Oooh! Shortcuts!

Adventures in Doll Hunting

So expanding out the Cher dolls, outfits and toys section of Cher Scholar and organizing what outfits I had for my Christmas Cher doll tree has reenergized me for a new round of outfit hunting adventures, which led me to some interesting experiences over the last few weeks.

But first of all I’m a pretty cheap Cher doll collector. I’m not made of money, as it were. And so I won’t likely spend more than 30 bucks for a doll or outfit unless it’s some fabulously rare thing. I never did get bitten by the outfit bug as a child and I’m not trying to build a mint-in-box collection here or an investment portfolio. These are for a Christmas tree, for Santa’s sake! The dolls can be damaged. The hair can be a mess or lovingly braided. I often get outfits with torn seams or missing accessories. For Laverne, I created my own accessories from cast-off Barbie stuff.

I’m also willing to be the home for orphaned and damaged Cher dolls, including lots of missing hands. As a matter of fact, it’s often difficult for me, as an adult, to get her outfits on over those hand with long finger nails and I can’t imagine the childhood frustration of trying to do it over and over for outfit changes on one doll. It’s no wonder hands were snapped off their arms.

And I’ve seen enough haunted doll movies and TV shows that haunted Chers do cross my mind but I have yet to have burned sage over any of them.

But this year I also decided to expand into Cher’s friends as a way to socialize the tree, so to speak. The mego Farrah Fawcett dolls are pretty affordable, like the damaged Cher dolls. But then I found a Toni Tennille doll (right before I went into a deep dive on the Captain & Tennille).

This led to some more unanswerable doll questions, like why are the Cher and Farrah dolls so cheap when they were the most popular of idols when the dolls were first sold? Is it because the market was glutted with Cher and Farrah dolls? To that point, why are the Kate Jackson and Daryl Dragon dolls so expensive? Who even knows who those people are anymore?

I mean if I have to explain to my “young” friends (who are close to 40s now) who Vincent Price is (among other people) and if those memoir podcast ladies had to explain to their listeners who the hell Elvis was (Lord help me), why is the Kate Jackson doll so f**king expensive???

I’m trying to understand supply and demand here. Because fewer people had the Jackson and Dragon dolls, they are like 100-700 dollars instead of 15-30 dollars? That just doesn’t make sense and they are not selling. There’s that. But I hear the eBay market is really bad right now. So maybe they expect to get that but times are tough.

All I know is I had to look a long time (in doll time) to find a Kate Jackson Mattel doll (the only one that looks remotely like her) within my budget and even then I had to go higher. And it was an annoying experience haggling for a Kate Jackson doll (which was in good condition but not mint-in-box or even with a shitty box and not in her original outfit). I also discovered the Mattel dolls and outfits are far inferior in quality to the Mego ones. Pleh. But now Cher has her (once real life) friends Farrah and Kate on the tree. (Which begs the question why Cher wasn’t friends with the remaining Charlie’s Angel, Jacqueline Smith, and if there’s a story there.) Toni isn’t a friend but is contemporaneous and is modeling the red Chinese dress. I refuse to pay 50 to 100 dollars for a Daryl Dragon doll so she’ll be alone on the tree for a while.

And if we have Sonny & Cher and (someday) Captain & Tennille, it just made sense to add Donny & Marie to the tree. I have long since given my Donny & Marie dolls to my nieces so I had to procure some inexpensive new ones. (If you follow this blog you know they were the main characters in our salacious Barbie dramas…because they looked nothing like Donny and Marie).

Thank God my mother gave me her big artificial Christmas tree this summer.

But I’ve had some weird late experiences lately on eBay. And not just the obscure-celebrity dolls prices. I’m starting to get little Christian tracts included with my doll purchases, reprinted bible verses, folded 8×11 columns of persuasion to embrace Jesus because “once you have His child He will never leave you!”

And one such Christian seller ripped me off. (Not actually that shocking I guess.)

There was a very cheap Cher doll listed with just a head-shot and the Cher hair obscuring the naked upper body (almost like the pose of Eve). I should have known better. I was suspicious but it was really affordable (and I was in a hurry). I had a communication with the seller to determine that “the legs are good.” Technically this was true, the legs were good. They just weren’t Cher legs!!

The doll arrived and I opened the box to find a doll where a Cher head had been grafted on to the Magic Moves Barbie (which is a lot shorter than the Cher doll by a few inches). And what are the magic moves, you ask? Brushing and blow-drying her hair. Those are the magic moves. Sigh.

Someone sent this blue cape on one of my previous Cher dolls and I now use  it with the default salmon mermaid Cher dress on the tree.

Anyway, so it’s a creepy Bionic Cher! But it’s now part of the collection of misfit Cher dolls and sporting an outfit that somewhat obscures her deformities and has been assigned to be the doll that goes with the Cher record player (which has a doll twirling feature). It has just dawned on me at this very moment that I subconsciously put the record-player doll in the same dress that is advertised on the record player box.

(I am so deep into this, I scare myself.)

This eBay package, too, came with Christian messaging. That the sale of this doll was a complete exercise in dishonesty is, I guess, just part of this person’s Christian lie. (?!)

But on a happier note, recently I also discovered the Donny & Marie toy stage, which I feel no desire to purchase, but which I am delighted by, especially when I can compare it to the Sonny & Cher toy stage.

This Donny & Marie stage is cheaper and made of carboard covered in plastic. The Sonny & Cher stage is a more substantial 3D object, with somewhat sophisticated (for a 8 year old) mechanical parts. But I like how festive the Donny & Marie stage is. God forbid, though, you tore the plastic and got it wet. We had basement floods a few times in St. Louis and a some of my childhood Cher objects made of cardboard (like record sleeves) have waves in them.

The Donny & Marie stage has funny backdrops like the Osmond brothers playing guitars and the drummer brother. You can also see a teleprompter there.

Marie also has her own dressing area, similar to Cher’s but with a drawn-on table instead of a 3D one. Note Marie’s ice skates hanging there and a wig. Where are Cher’s wigs? Cher’s closet is a mess of showbiz hardware. But then she has her own toy that’s just a closet. Marie has to make do with three outfits in her closet. But like Cher, she has pictures on the wall but when you zoom in you can see they are cartoon drawings of brothers and pets. Marie has no photographs of herself. Cher has four pictures of herself, one with Sonny and one with Chastity.

Instead of a piano, Donny & Marie have a keyboard. But their TV camera (missing the stand) is better and has more sophisticated stickers than Sonny & Cher’s and, hilariously, it has Donny’s smiling face coming through it.

Can someone tell me what this is?

And I’m sorry but nothing screams rock and roll more than this. Second only to this.

Sonny & Cher singing with Donny & Marie

What those skates are for

 

Stiller & Meara

I was never a big Captain and Tennille fan but I have always liked Stiller & Meara, mostly separately but also together when I could catch clips and appearances of their old act from the 1970s. They were not like Sonny & Cher and yet similar in their comedic put-downs. They were both popular around the same time; however Stiller & Meara were more narrowly perfected and cerebral and Sonny & Cher more widely vaudevillian (singers as part-time comedians).

As I watched Stiller and Meara: Nothing Is Lost I had a notebook and pen out and ready to try to capture some other similarities; but by the time the credits rolled, I had not a single mark of ink down.

The Stiller/Meara family story is one unto itself. You could see them having overlapping struggles maybe with the Bonos, both couples being parents and on the road all the time, all their children having to deal with fans interrupting family moments in public spaces, parents always hustling for the next job. But these are a very different families and the couples had unique relationships (all three of them).

I remember thinking, there’s not really much fundamental emotional overlap here.

But then the credits rolled and from the very first few bars I exclaimed, “This is a Cher song! What??”

Not only were the credits rolling over a Cher song, but it was the only solo number from the debut Sonny & Cher album, Look at Us, and so although only Cher sings it, the song is credited as Sonny & Cher. It’s Cher’s cover of the Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody,” which is such a classic. Why pick the very obscure Cher version? It wasn’t a hit. It wasn’t even a single. Mr. Cher Scholar wondered if it was chosen because the Cher version sounded more convincingly and innocently in love. But it’s also kind of rough. Cher’s vocal is at times out of control.

I hear the track as having been softened for the credits, her big note not so shrill and a fix put on the blip at the end.

Undoubtedly, this a great song, but still what an obscure choice for Ben Stiller’s movie about his family. I mean the lyrics kind of match the early love letters recited in the movie between Jerry Stiller to Anne Meara and maybe the couple did feel a kinship with Sonny & Cher as another showbiz couple of the day. Or maybe Stiller and Meara simply loved Cher’s version of the song? Or maybe the kids picked it because it reminded them of their parents, either their relationship with each other or the need the kids felt for more attention from their parents. There are a lot of ways to read this.

But wow. I was gobsmaked.

Beyond that, the movie did resolve for me what kept Stiller and Meara together in a marriage so long (until her death) and how this differed from Sonny & Cher and Captain & Tennille. The very obvious difference being that both Sonny and Cher and Toni Tennile and Daryl Dragon were in lopsided emotional relationships which faltered because one half (in each case the husband) wasn’t fully invested in it the marriage.

Jerry Stiller is another character entirely. He seems to have had much more self awareness, to me, than the other two men. For example, Meara had solo goals. She wasn’t as invested in their act as a couple. But what saved them was that they both had better communication skills. Just communication period, you could say, which is what the other couples struggled with. And both Stiller and Meara were committed enough to the marriage to go through years of couples therapy and one-on-one therapy to keep the relationship working. I can’t see Sonny or Daryl Dragon doing this.

One of my favorite parts of the documentary was at the end. Jerry Stiller is being interviewed for what seems like one of the last times. He’s in a chair and kind of feeble and he says, “I met Anne Meara. That was a big thing. She was the most unbelievable person in the world, Anne Meara. I never met anybody like her in my life.” The way he says it, too, that it’s still incredible to him.

Anne Meara really shines in the documentary, not only by her natural comedic timing but just her force of personality. She isn’t a typical Hollywood star. That Jerry Stiller could appreciate how unique she was, especially in a world where social pressure often discourages men from even acknowledging the value in that let alone choosing to love it, was very, very moving. It marks Jerry Stiller as extraordinary, too. And it looks like he was sure about the value of Anne Meara until the day he died.

 

Cher’s versions of “Unchained Melody”

Wigs and Courage

Who took this picture? Why do I have a copy of it?

I have just spent two months wrestling with two wigs to make one of them presentable by Halloween.

This wasn’t my idea but I have been asked to put together the Cher costume. I’ve only worn it twice before and honestly I didn’t feel very Cherlike in it either time. In fact, I’d much rather be a cardboard TV box with knobs and a picture of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown drawn on the front (a costume my brother Randy made for me when I was 7) or a little devil (a costume my grandmother made for me when I was 8) or a dinosaur or a pirate or some other ridiculous thing. But the Cher costume was requested as part of a funny group idea and so here I am pulling out the dress my sister-in-law Maureen gave me, a midnight blue polyester gown from her 1970s-era Homecoming dance with my oldest brother. It’s the closest dress I’ve ever had to a 70s Cher gown.

And so I’ve been brushing and steaming these god-damn wigs for weeks, soaking them in fabric softener and all the things they recommend online but to no avail. They’ve been tangling into monstrosities in the costume box for many years now and they’re done.

Meanwhile, I could have just purchased a new one for 20 bucks. Sigh.

As I take out Maureen’s homecoming dress out of my closet, I am also reminded how I used to always look to her to see what milestones I would someday encounter as a girl: dates with boys, dealing with their parents, a prom, a wedding, babies. She’s been a real sister to me. (I’ve written two poems about watching her for life clues.)

Despite the forgiveness of polyester, I could now be too hippy for that old dress. Praise Cheesus for all the zaftig Cher drag queens who have gone before me. But I’ve had to purchase a “Believe” suit as a Plan B.

Anyway, the whole experience reminds me of the first time I threw together this very Cher costume for a date who took me to a Halloween party of young Kraft Food employees (where I was working as a Kelly Girl at the time) in White Plains, New York. My date went as a cow. The cow costume was very cute but it didn’t mesh well with my Cher, a character unlikely to fraternize with cows and I shredded long black hairs over him all night. I also now recall his complete lack of enthusiasm in helping me figure out how to get into Manhattan for an internship at Penguin Books. This was a few weeks after the Halloween party.

When I got to New York to start a graduate program at Sarah Lawrence College, I was full of fears. I was afraid of the telephone, for example, even though I was often sent out as a receptionist during many years working as a temp. What bad luck that was.

My first boyfriend in college, god bless him, had to get on the phone to try to resolve all my questions about birth control to the nearby Planned Parenthood office because I was afraid to talk to strangers on a phone. To their credit, they wouldn’t tell him anything (assuming he was up to no good snooping). But he rolled his eyes and tried.

And phones may have been my biggest fear but they weren’t the only one. There was my fear of cliff ledges, sinkholes, hillbillies, the parents of my young friends, and swimming pools with anything decorative painted on the bottom of them.

When I got my internship at Penguin in Manhattan, I had no idea how I would find the wherewithal to get myself on a train to the subway system and down a few blocks to the Penguin offices in lower Manhattan. That was too much new stuff to deal with, too many overwhelming opportunities for things to go wrong, too much energy to zap my delicate constitution!

I was renting a basement apartment in a Yonkers house owned by a middle-aged Italian chef and his wife who spent half the year in Italy (chef-ing) and half the year retired in Yonkers near their grown-up kids. The movie Moonstruck didn’t even make sense to me until I sat in their house with the plastic runners and plastic couch covers. Besides them, I hadn’t met many other friends yet at Sarah Lawrence. The only new friend I had so far was the aforementioned blasé cow. Finally, after much cajoling, he  did agree to accompany me from the Bronxville train station to Grand Central on the Metro North and then to walk me through the grand atrium (which always felt to me like walking through an exciting vortex) to the correct subway tunnel so I could at least see the token booth. (Yes, this was even before subway cards.) But that’s as far as he would go.

The internship turned out to be both parts frustrating and delightful. There was an endless flow of subsidiary rights paperwork that came in via faxes faster than we could deal with it, a basement contract file room that was a shambles of misfiling and the whole publishing industry that was a bit depressing tbh. But there was also getting as many free galley copies of books as my backpack would hold, being able to read the manuscript of Stephen King’s wife Tabitha’s first novel, which wasn’t very good, and best of all holding in my hands the original contract for John Steinbeck The Grapes of Wrath.

But how did I even make it that far? In the end, I had to make use of the baby-step method.

I had to get up in the morning and drive myself to the Bronxville Station. If I felt freaked out, I could turn around and go home. If not, I could get out of the car and buy a train ticket. If I felt freaked out then, I could turn around and go home. If not, I could get on the train and sit down, ride into Manhattan and get off the train at Grand Central. If I felt freaked out there, I could turn around and go home. If not, I could walk through Grand Central to the subway, (past the oyster bar I never did get a chance to visit), maybe buy an everything-bagel with cream cheese at the kiosks by the front door. If I felt freaked out there, I could turn around and go home with my bagel. If not, I could buy subway tokens from often-grumpy booth folk, get on the subway going across Manhattan and then make the subway connection going south. If I felt freaked out at any time on the subway, I could turn around and go home. If not, I could walk up the subway stairs and out of the street and  orient myself to the four corners of the earth. If I felt freaked out about that, I could turn around and go home. If not, I could walk into the Penguin offices.

And this was just for the interview!

But I did it.

I didn’t turn back.

I didn’t wig out even one time.

In 2023 I found myself reciting this whole ordeal to some old Sarah Lawrence friends who had, since the 1990s, become too intimidated to go into Manhattan from Long Island themselves. (!!) Baby steps.

And it turns out, I had an unforeseen support system. I was always surrounded, my whole time in New York, by helpful New Yorkers, not just people on the street but particularly the Italians I lived beneath, (the chef snored and my basement bedroom was right below theirs), and those Italians I worked with at Yonkers Contracting Company. My brothers often kidded me about working for Italians at a New York construction company. Randy (of the 1976 TV set costume) used to ask me if my co-workers used terms like “concrete shoes.” They didn’t. Instead, I gained a lifetime love of penne alla vodka from their big Italian retirement parties. They all treated me like a lost little bird (which I was) and were amazed I even wanted to go into Manhattan to begin with.

The beautiful women working there with their big 80s perms (it was the mid 90s) told me they hadn’t been down to Manhattan for over a decade, since their high school trips to the Statue of Liberty. (For a time in my life I was able to tell the difference between a Bronx, Queens and Brooklyn accent.) Those people watched out for me and gave me life hacks for managing the pitfalls of their city, from how to outwit a slumlord to where the couch sales were at the Cross County Mall. I still have that couch. That couch has been all over the country.

Soon I would meet Julie (and other SLC students) and we would go into Manhattan quite often by train and by car using some of Julie’s fearless life hacks.

In that bustling city, I was going anywhere fast, but I was moving forward and even that, in ever so small amounts, can build its own energy and opportunity.

Before I left St. Louis (and a summer in Boston), my own family had many, many, many doubts about my ability to move to New York as a graduate student. My oldest brother predicted that New Yorkers would eat me alive. Those were his exact words. And I remember navigating my first bank account meeting in downtown Bronxville one day fully believing I would be eaten alive that day. After all, meeting with strange bankers all by myself was something I would have been terrified to do even in the suburbs of midwestern St. Louis.

Sometimes I still can’t believe I did it. It was big. It was a big deal that I did it. And if I never did anything else in my life, I did that.

The insurmountable overwhelming.

Julie and me lifehacking our way out of a corn maze in the 1990s.

Cher Sounds

The YouTubes algorithm recently served me up the Cher’s song “I’d Rather Believe in You” and I was thinking how much I love Jeff Porcaro’s drumming on the song, probably my favorite drum part in a Cher song (and one of my favorite Cher vocals, too).

And in the middle of procrastinating the writing of a twine short story, I went looking to see what the Internets thought of Cher’s drummers (and guitarists and bass players).

Guitar

While doing this I found a whole world of YouTubes of musicians-who-want-to-play-that-song and they make videos breaking things down.

Like breaking down…

Steve Lukather did a lot of Cher’s Geffen-era, 80s rock ballads. Here’s some internet info on Steve Lukather’s best, including “Turn Back Time.”

For example, Steve Lukather and Jeff Porcaro are all over the 1991 album Love Hurts: https://jeffsstamp.web.fc2.com/diskfile/cfile/cher6a.html

Examples of Steve Lukather on Cher songs:

I didn’t love Cher’s guitar sounds in the 80s, tbh. But then I can generally say I didn’t like the guitar solos from the 1980s. Cher’s seem much more subdued than most of them. But all of them, subdued or extroverted, were kind of predictably dull in their own ways.

For context, what I do like: I know there’s a lot of Lindsey Buckingham controversy (and I for one have checked out of Fleetwood Mac’s century-long drama) but here is an example of a solo that gives me feels. It’s always an unpredictable eddy with Buckingham and then I end up delighted at minute 3:42.

But anyway, we would be remiss not to mention Cher’s love of the guitarist and the Take Me Home song “Git Down (Guitar Groupie)” (1979) which had most of Toto on it, Steve Lukather (guitar), Jeff Porcaro (drums) and David Hungate (bass).

For a song about guitars and ahem, “living from lick to lick,” this guitar part feels a bit lowkey.

Maybe the solos are not allowed to upstage the Cher. JK.

Bass & Drums

Some breakdown examples of bass parts in Cher songs:

“The Beat Goes On” is, of course, the ultimate example, which reminds me why my favorite bass moments in Cher songs necessarily go back to Sonny and Carol Kaye in the 1960s:

And researching this I learned that the Wrecking Crew Facebook page claims the iconic drums in “Half Breed” (1973) were also Hal Blaine.

Some people also think Hal Blaine did the drums in “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” (see here) but there are no credits publicly available for that one and I don’t think it’s the most interesting thing about that song anyway.

But the drums and bass of “He Aint Heavy, He’s My Brother” (1971) and “Somebody” (1972) of that same year are quite another delicious example. There’s also the dramatic remake of “I Got You Babe” (1972, in no small part because of the drumming of Matt Betton) and the fabulous heartbeat of “All I Ever Need Is You” (1972).

And those uncredited players (likely the Toto) carrying Cher through the 1970s: “Living in a House Divided” (1972) and “Train of Thought” (1974) ….and “Take Me Home” (getting sultry in 1979 with Ed Greene on drums and Ed Watkins on bass).

Speaking of which I actually do like the guitar solo (and the drums) in “Love and Pain” (1979, with Tim May/Ben Benay and Ronnie Zito).

In other random facts, today I learned that Van Dyke Parks did the steel drum arrangements to the Jimmy Cliff song Cher covered in 1975 on her Stars album.

During all this exploring, A.I. kept trying to butt its big fat face into the conversation I was having with SERPs and it wants me to tell you “A Cowboys Work Is Never Done” (1972) has a “prominent drum roll” and I will concede to agree with A.I. there. It’s a very atmospheric effect all things considered.

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