Cher Leaves Elton John Auction in Roll of Dust

Recently Elton John emptied out his closets for $1.67 million. My KISS-loving friend, Ape Culture co-editor, Julie Wiskirchen, challenged Cher to meet the KISS auction total of $1.6 million a few years ago. Cher’s total hit $3.5 million. Once again, Cher kicked some serious buttage. Her Bentley was reported to be the highest sale. One fan bought three TV show dresses: the cream Titanic dress she wore to the Academy Awards, the Dark Lady dress and the Laverne fit. For them all, he spent over $40,000. Julie and I continued our IM conversation during Wednesday’s auction. Instead of summarizing it, I’ll give you the highlights below. A word regarding our IM handles: they both pertain to ridiculous scandals involving our respective celebrity obsessions.

OzzyBat: yo rib

RemovedCherRib: yo bat

OzzyBat: how is day 2 of the auction

RemovedCherRib: some fans think the big costume bidders are Hard Rock Cafe

OzzyBat: they bought a lot of kiss stuff

RemovedCherRib: a sketch just sold for 7k… the exact amount that the actual costume sold for

OzzyBat: Cher’s dictionary is coming up…i bet its never been opened….Now this is cool… lot 681….taxidermied armadillo lamp…given to cher by gene simmons!! That’s so funny – i thought it way cool before i even saw that…i might spend spend for that conversation piece

RemovedCherRib: the pugin stuff is going now…not outrageously

OzzyBat: what do you think that lamp will go for? it’s ugly – i cant imagine anyone other than me wanting it

RemovedCherRib: i don’t know but that’s the lamp i took a picture of Christopher cocking his head over wondering what it was…Gothic Ornaments is up…Gothic dog costumes must be next

OzzyBat: the wigs are coming up…the hummer is the final item…who will have 80k left by then for it? Imagine cher’s reaction to the armadillo lamp:  "genie, you’re crazy – shannon, you can have him"

RemovedCherRib: Georgeanne…can you put this somewhere?

OzzyBat: Elijah: "that’s wicked!

OzzyBat: i wish there was a booby doll from witches…especially the giant one

RemovedCherRib: 81 is up next…the dictionary

OzzyBat: i’m watching

OzzyBat: sure you dont want if for xmas?

RemovedCherRib: no… i’d rather have cher dolls for my tree

OzzyBat: geez nevermind anyway – $375!…$2,000 for a gothic furniture book? Geez. i guess i dont have a prayer for the lamp…the kids-size cher show jacket is coming up. $425? – do they know its a kids jacket? Sold for $1,050 – a tiny jacket o’ nylon

RemovedCherRib: these sketeches kill me, they aren’t even memorable dresses some of them…the carol burnette and charo ones are coming up…i’m curious to see what will happen

OzzyBat: $3,750 for the disco dress  – that was a cool one. This reminds me of the old SNL sketch with jon lovitz as Picasso. He kept scribbling on napkins and things and declaring "i’m picasso!" Like every scribble he made was worth millions….this purse up now may be the ugliest one ive ever seen in my life

RemovedCherRib: laverne is up to 9k

OzzyBat: could you write behind that desk? i would be too depressed…lot 550 – another depressingly dark gothic furniture item

OzzyBat: floor bidder slits wrist

OzzyBat: internet bidder hangs self

OzzyBat: internet bidder throws self down stairs

RemovedCherRib: internet bidder bangs head against keyboard and accidentally bids 3 thousand dollars

OzzyBat: floor bidder vincent libretti cashes in 401k to buy laverne fit

OzzyBat: floor bidder says "it gets me off"

RemovedCherRib: pugins bed is up now…the one andrew lloyd weber wanted

OzzyBat: i’m watching

RemovedCherRib: i wonder if anyone was allowed to sleep in such an expensive bed

OzzyBat: the bed is approaching the value of my dads condo….sold to lloyd webber!….cuz who else could spend 70k on a bed?

OzzyBat: has anything gone for less than 500 today?

RemovedCherRib: one of the purses went for 450….some shoes

RemovedCherRib: the last sketch I liked is going out of range…i like it cos it has cher scribbled by Mackie but is a short hair version of her the Take it To the Limit outfit i really liked from Celebration at Caesars….it’s like a hole fit but it’s a white hole shirt….Sold for $3,750…sigh…

RemovedCherRib: According to a Yahoo news report only 200 people were there bidding on the floor yesterday [there were up to 4,500 approved bidders overall.]…According to Yahoo: "[people] chuckled as the auctioneer [Hugh Hildesley] offered his own observations of taste, describing a yellow [it was really orange] plastic portable record player, circa 1976 as a ‘thing of beauty.’ It sold for $1400."

RemovedCherRib: Penelope and the suitors painting went for $60,000

RemovedCherRib: the second hole fit went for $50,000! Gosh! The fit christopher called the sausage arm one

OzzyBat: these bids dont seem to be getting lower…i guess i dont have a prayer of getting the lamp…it’s an important piece of KISStory

RemovedCherRib: it’s coming up

RemovedCherRib: it’s up

OzzyBat: sadness…i was the two internet bidders way back before 400

RemovedCherRib: $3500!

RemovedCherRib: ridikilous

OzzyBat: insanity

RemovedCherRib: the worlds gone mad

OzzyBat: i’m devastated…all day i was thinking how cool that would look in the living room…"oh you’re admiring my armadillo lamp? let me tell you the story…"

RemovedCherRib: seriously though, it would frighten people

OzzyBat: it would, but i liked that about it…it’s the only thing in the auction that was really me…besides the bentley of course….cuz thats how i roll