On Vacation

Well kids and kidlets, France is upon me. I’m very excited and I’m getting a bit nervous. But mostly excited…for three reasons. First of all, I’ve never taken a long vacation for myself, even one week away that wasn’t obligated to some dysfunctional family event of some kind. It’s been 40 years of weekend trips here or there just for moi. Secondly, I’ve never left the US…period. Not from not wanting to, mind you. I’ve been wanting to since college. But either I had no money, no vacation time (due to traveling home for Christmas or 4th of July for aforementioned dysfunctional family events), or no courage to go it alone. Thirdly, going to France is a lifelong dream come true, way back to when my brother came home from a week in Le Mans after his high school French three-week trip, bringing back cheese, a porcelain mime doll and news of a hit from Soft Cell. Turns out they were a year ahead of us with “Tainted Love.” How cultured they were! I was in 6th grade and decided it was my destiny to learn French. But lo and behond, French class was pure hell…for six years. But then I met the former French-majoring, Proust-studying bf and he didn’t seem nearly as uptight as all my former French teachers were. My dream was soon re-awakened.

The bf and I got our euros recently at the Del Amo mall. We have a suitcase full of maps and guidebooks and all our little tubes of toothpaste, fold-up toothbrushes and little bottles of lotions and shampoo. I’ve been cramming French phrases like Mon ami est une moyen-pantalon! and Quel dommage! I’ve started a carnet de voyage, a French-style journal of our trip.

And I promise to look for Cher references while I’m away but you shant be hearing from me. You’re on your own for two weeks. Here’s a list of Cher videos to keep you company.

• Cher singing "Mama (When My Dollies Have Babies)"
• A weird and wonderful version of same from Switz.tv show "Let’s go."
  In color at a creepy doll factory! Cher slouches in the corner! Then suddenly pops into the foreground! Then sits on table!! Why wasn’t this on the DVD video collection?? It’s amazing!
• Sonny & Cher on The Beat Club singing “Then He Kissed Me”  
  This show is so hip; look at that girl doing the backstroke – classic! Arms did so much more work in dancing back then. Lots of shots of shoes and backs of pop stars.
• Same show with Sonny singing "Laugh at Me."
  Wow. That crazy suit in action from the In Case You’re In Love cover.
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• And speaking of videos that would have made a lame DVD collection stupendous: the trippy "Circus" video.

Have a great two weeks!