Ask Cher Scholar: Interesting Mix Up

On Monday, September 27, 2010, MIchael wrote:

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for years. We got into a fight this morning about it. She called me later and told me she heard a Cher song on the radio. The song had something to do with a woman picking up someone on the side of the road just to have a baby with him. Do you know what song she may have heard?

Cher has recorded many unwed mother songs, some sleeping-to-get-ahead songs, and some "take me home" songs, but never, and I mean never, has she recorded a song about picking up a guy at the side of the road for the sole purpose of having a baby. That just accidentally happened in "Gypsys Tramps & Thieves."

But that's not what I answered to Michael. To Michael I said:

"Sorry to hear about the fight with your wife! Hope things are better!! I think you are actually thinking of a Heart song called "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You." The song was written by Mutt Lange which is the guy who was married to Shania Twain (who once did a cover of "Half Breed") but he cheated on her and now they're divorced."
 
And I left it at that but I have LOTS more to say.

Here are some lyric excerpts:

It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up along side and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while

I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain
Fate tell me it's right, is this love at first sight
Please don't make it wrong, just stay for the night

All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will you want me too
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to
 
So we found this hotel, it was a place I knew well
We made magic that night. Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me, so many times, easily
And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note

I told him I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there

Ahem. First of all Mutt Lange is a sexist pig and this is a male fantasy song. Pah-leeese.

Later in the song…

Then it happened one day, we came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes
I said please, please understand
I'm in love with another man

And what he couldn't give me
was the one little thing that you can

Second of all, it's kind of creepy a wife would tell her husband about this song when they have trouble conceiving. What's the point of that? Is she thinking of doing it?

And finally, not only is it lacking in judgement of Mrs. Wife to bring up this song in the middle of a fight about conception issues, but she thought Ann Wilson was Cher. I don't think I've ever heard anybody make this mistake before. She must be a young lass. I mean, in the 80s they both belted out power ballads and all, but their voices are so different. I suppose it's a compliment. Ann Wilson is an amazing singer. And she does wear big black curly hair sometimes.