Do you ever wonder why Cher exists? As a fan, does this silly question ever come up in your obsessed head?
There are many types of Cher fans. There's the casual fan, the unquestioning cult-member fan (Cher Zombie), the obsessed collector of Cher product (that would be me). Aside from the casual fan (and do they really count?), the other two can get a little crazy from time to time.
I know a few Cher collectors are getting a bit crazy due to all the delays in new Cher product. Get used to it; she won't be around forever. I hope her family doesn't go all Elvis on us after she's gone and continue to produce Cher lunch pails, Cher singing wall clocks and other facsimiles way into perpetuity.
And I also know some fans are aggrieved that she doesn't ever do their preferred material (I am guilty of this).
Things Cher has deprived the world of include:
- a torch album
- a torch tour
- a country album
- a Christmas album
Speaking for myself, I'm tired of Cher appearing in half-baked (half-funny) comedies. I'm dying to see her:
- in a Western
- playing a villain
- playing a partial-villain
- in some profound drama.
Collectors are a different kind of fan. Cher is not my messiah. So I feel I can critique the lazy crap (the video collection, the same song opening three tours, any given video commentary that craps out after 15 minutes).
That said: we all need to face the cold hard facts of life. Cher does not exist to be an object of art in our lives. She's got this thing we call free-agency.
The cold hard facts of life….like Porter Wagoner, who comes home from bowling to find his wife snuggled up on the couch…dressed in some refurbished-hotel bed-spread.
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