Cher Went Public Again With a Boyfriend

So Alexander Edwards. This also happened while I was away. This relationship was short (about 6 months by online estimates) and it ended with a whimper and was very controversial. So it’s interesting from a lot of perspectives. People were so fascinated, even People Magazine did a story that was basically “Who is this guy?”

Cher’s been on the down low with her love life for the past few decades and, as if we didn’t know why, we must know now. It was every bit as paparazzi-crazy as you’d expect. And everyone had to have an opinion about it. Some fans expressed  they were “worried about her” which seemed a bit whistle-y and unnecessary. This is Cher were talking about. Some people expressed concern about his age and/or previous dating history.

You can unpack this all many ways. And race had to be a trigger for a few of Cher’s fans. Although mostly left-leaning, Cher fans aren’t all left-leaning. And besides, I know a few very racist leftists. So…

But Sonny & Cher always had black friends and colleagues and invited many black acts to their shows long before other variety shows, if they ever did. Sonny was very enmeshed in  soul and gospel music, more so than the Phil Spector sound he got distracted with for a bit. But I can unfortunately see some fans having an issue with Cher dating a black person. Even if they didn’t want to admit it (to themselves). Race for me was a non-issue. I have more struggles as the age gap keeps widening. I would love to see Cher with Danny Glover, for example (born the same year!). I don’t even know anything about Danny Glover. He might be a total creep but they look good together in my head.

So the age thing. When Cher was younger there was already bruhaha around her dating younger men, starting with Gregg Allman. As she gets older, it just prompts handwringing about opportunism, like for the late-in-life marriages of Liza Minelli or Martha Rae. But Cher, we must remind ourselves, is not Liza Minelli or Martha Rae.

Dating younger people is one thing. My father is younger than my mother. And yes, we tease him about this, especially because he was underage when they married. And there have been plenty of solid relationships between people with big age spans. There’s the famous Bogart & Bacall span. I guess the issue for me is we should probably keep things on a level playing field. For men and women and everyone. Whenever women do something (like serially dating very young people) and they deflect criticism by saying well hey…men are doing it….I think, but what does that mean? Should Leonardo DiCaprio be doing it? I’m not saying yes or no. I’m just saying the whole topic of Cher dating younger men tends to give me cognitive dissonance.

Which I realize is more about me. Once of the things I find fascinating about my Cher fandom is how little I imagine I would actually have in common with Cher personally. We’re different people and I’m totally okay with that. One perfect example of this is Cher’s taste in men, few of whom I find even remotely handsome.

During the Edwardian Era (this is what I’m now calling it), I had many conversations about this with Cher friends. And I will defend Cher because we each have our thing. Sexual attraction gets imprinted on us pretty young and you can’t really fix it. First there’s Sonny, who I didn’t think was attractive at all in the 60s as Prince Valliant but I could kind of see something there in the 70s with the mustache and his rocking kind of Sergio-Leone-villain look.

Then there was David Geffen (who I don’t even think Cher found handsome), Gregg Allman (whose sideburns always reminded me of a Chia Pet), Gene Simmons (that handy hanky), Tom Cruise (a real plain Jane), Val Kilmer (yeah, ok), Josh Donen (passable) , Robert Camilletti (probably the most handsome but it felt boring at the time), Richie Sambora (no), Ron Zimmerman (I can never even remember what he looks like), and Alexander Edwards (eh).

Contrast this bunch with Cher’s very handsome leading men and you’ve got a real stack: Sam Elliot and Stanley Tucci are two particularly handsome men. Nicolas Cage (in a pinch),  I don’t agree with much about Kurt Russell but he was pretty sexy in Silkwood.

But you know what? It’s not about me. In a big sense. Like the biggest sense. In no way is this about us fans. Cher isn’t a movie character. Sure, it is fun to travel through the list of lovers with a few cents here and there (I just had a pretty good time up there). But as long as Cher is happy (even for sexy, 6-month stretches) and the man treats her with the respect (and reverence) she deserves…we need to stay out of it. Just go back to Sonny and Cher when they first met if you need any reminding of the zero fucks Cher gave about what her people said about him.

I think she’s got this.

But just incidentally Danny Glover is single again.