As I was updating the Cher Scholar record page I decided to update the album stats page and as I was doing that I thought, “man, it’s good to re-review this album spread! 1965 to 2023!” It’s times like this I get very smug about my picker and my savvy little kid self.
I remember where I was when I heard each Cher album, too, from first listening to two Sonny & Cher albums my parents had in our small living room in Albuquerque. The bulk of Cher’s albums I bought used or discounted or found in libraries and listened to them in the front room of our St. Louis house, (albums like Superpak I and II, Cherished, Stars, I Paralyze). By the time of the Geffen albums, I had my brother Andrew’s old tape-deck/turntable stereo in my bedroom. I was in Yonkers, New York, when It’s a Man’s World and Believe were released. Living Proof was the one album I first heard in the upstairs bedroom of my parents house in Lititz, Pennsylvania. Closer to the Truth was heard first in a home office back in Albuquerque. And the ABBA album was in the office I had in the marketing department at CNM. This album was first attended to in my current home office, interrupted too many times by work in preparation for next week’s ICANN meeting in Hamburg Germany. Pooh.
Not only is this Cher’s first Christmas album, it’s Cher’s first album with multiple covers upon release. Heart of Stone and Love Hurts both had later-day covers. Some of the 60s and 70s albums had covers with slight differences, like the 1971 Cher. But nothing like this. Casual Cher on a snowball surrounded by Christmas tree balls is the canonical cover. The Amazon edition has Cher in a silver gown and standing on an iceberg (my favorite). In the Cher.com version, Cher is kicking ice at the camera. Different fans seem to like different covers. There is also a Target cover with CHER in red (although my copies are in pink). The Amazon version has the most extensive booklet, with all covers included and an extra photo and a “Merry Christmas” message from Cher in the back.
Previous accountings had a few mistakes but the track list still has something for everyone: 3 dance songs, 3 pop songs, 2 R&B songs, 1 1950s-Rock-n-Roll song, 1 rap, 1 big band number and 2 country songs. Turns out there are 9 covers and 4 original songs.
When I evaluate a new Christmas song I think about two things: one, is this the best version of a song many people have already covered, and two, if it’s a new song, is it a good new addition to the great Christmas song canon? So here we go.
“DJ Play a Christmas Song” is a fun dance song and all the fans seem to love it. It’s about Christmas at the dance club with your other family, your chosen family (if you know, you know). “It’s love in here,” an escape from the tough outside world. We slip in and out of the Cher Effect, sleigh bells and Christmasy keyboards.
This introduces dancing as part of Christmas joy but unlike being nestled in our beds, this is dancing all night long (going out versus staying in, going out versus heading to grandma’s house). The song begins and ends with the sleigh bells. There are red and green strobe lights, song requests like requests from Santa. This is a pulsing heartbeat of sassy love.
This song really grew on me. Just hearing Cher sing the word Christmas feels festive. If you ever had bad, drama-riddled Christmases in your past for whatever reason, this song is your antidote. A definite add to the Massive Christmas Playlists (Spotify or Tidal).
“What Christmas Means To Me” is nice with Stevie Wonder but it’s the harmonica’s show. It feels like Cher’s voice has been Christmasified. She does a very sexy turn with “all these things and more.” They do a nice job recapturing the Motown sound in this song about definitions of Christmas (candles, cards, choirs and mistletoe). What’s amazing is how Stevie Wonder sounds like a young man on this track. He sounds younger than even in the 80s! His laugh at the end is so great. I also like CeeLo Green’s cover of this song.
“Run Rudolph Run” Cher slayed it (sleighed it, ha!) here start to finish. This song is my unexpected favorite. The whole thing sounds deliciously thick. That guitar! Cher’s love of guitars. Cher takes the guitar in the lyric here. Cher really pulls out the vowels. I also like the Jerry-Lee-Lewis piano and the echo on “round.” Most perfect. Definite add to the Massive Mix.
“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” This one with Darlene Love is different enough from the original although they capture the Phil Spector sound, the wall of noise drowning out the vocals. Those ubiquitous sleigh bells, the sax. I wish the piano wasn’t so faint. Darlene Love and Cher sound so much alike now. When they sing “all the fun we had last year,” it’s totally believable.
This album passes The Bechdel Test, already, by the way and we’re not that far in. There’s a sense of fun that comes packaged with Darlene Love. I love the build of “please” at the end. This is the only song on the record with a fade at the end.
“Angels in the Snow” Cyndi Lauper does more than backup on this one. In fact, I like this because of Cyndi because it reads like two little girls putting on a little Christmas show, adorably childlike. “Celebrate the wild child in you and me” is right there in the lyric. Speaking of which, I had to look up the lyrics on this song just for “city streets aglow.” It’s a song about besties, “we’ll always be together/where ever we are/where ever we go…” Another reference to mistletoe. This album is obsessed with it, I contend.
“Home” We start with church bells to help turn this secular song into a Christmas one. Cher sings “another Christmas will come and go away….” but in the original version, it’s a summer, a summer tour ostensibly. Michael Bublé’s vocals are a little understated, If I remember correctly, he’s a Cher fan. His voice is so soft and Cher’s is so big but she tries to bring it way down and he tries to sing big. Both great voices. I like the way they sing around each other at end, better than when they sing lines together. Such a sweet song. A good, somber half-way point.
“Drop Top Sleigh Ride” Because I lived there for eight years and spent a few holidays there, I do like Los Angeles-specific Christmas songs like this. Sure there’s no snow but it can get festive anyhow. And harkening back to the first song on this album, many people end up in LA in search of many things, not the least of which is a second family. The party family.
For a rap (or half-rap) this song is kind of sedate but nonetheless catchy. But it has all the bling and spice markers of rap, like “shake that thing like a snow globe” and “a candy cane high” (rated G there). It’s another party song, “there’s a crowd in every house” and “there won’t be no silent night” (double negative). The bass bounce and “shake it up like a snow globe” and “sit on my lap” and “girl, keep dancing” all spell out a particularly bootsylicious Christmas party.
Another mistletoe mention. Listen if there’s something magic about mistletoe, I’ll take it. Pack that word up in there!
“Baby Please Come Home for Christmas” Those big bells start us off just like the Eagles version. I’ve always thought this one was too much of a Christmas sleeper. Not a favorite. And this is so similar to the Eagles version, down to the guitar solo. I prefer the very similar “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home).” But I bet this is one Cher really wanted to do and she makes it a bit Elvisish, which sounds properly close to the word Elvish, which equals a Christmas add.
“I Like Christmas” She does the same trick with this song, which is not a new song. The Casey James version was written by Nashville exec Bryan Fisher, his wife and son. I like this one for the moxy and mischief Cher adds to it as…well, Cher. Another definition list of Christmas: friends, love, mall Santas and tacky lights. Cher sings this one well, gives it volume and a touch of rasp. I love the end where she laughs and comments.
And guess what we have more of? “I like a big red bow and mistletoe with you underneath ’cause I know it means you’ll be kissing me.” Amen to that. I’m getting to like this whole mistletoe thing.
“Christmas Ain’t Christmas” This new song from Mark Taylor, Patrick Mascall, Alex Francis and Paul Barry is another favorite of mine. It’s anthemic and fun. “I’ve been a good girl. Well, at least I tried.” The cascading bells. Love it! It’s a love song and another homage to the Phil Spector sound, the thickness, the sax. This is definitely a Massive Mix add.
More mistletoe. Sigh.
“Santa Baby’ is indeed a coquettish cover of a coquettish song. What else could it be? My favorite appeal-to-Santa song is Pearl Bailey’s “Box of Money” because it just comes right out with it without any pretext of a sexual favor in return. There are things I like about Cher’s cover, however. It unintentionally (or intentionally, who knows?) plays against Cher’s history of conspicuous consumption and her famous quote about not needing to marry a rich man because she already is one. They do a good job dating this song back to 1953 (hey, that’s why she wants a 1954 convertible!)
I also like her sort of ironic giggles. You can tell she’s having fun. There’s nothing really new here, except Cher’s gloss and the musical time-travel.
“Put a Little Holiday in Your Heart” Did I mention how much I love these two singing together? This is good feels the minute Cyndi Lauper comes in. This is more adult than the other song and balances it out. The song offers help to your sprint and meanwhile is a nice holiday, boot scooter. I like Cyndi Lauper doing country songs. She’s also one of the few voices that can’t be overpowered by Cher. I like how the song is about being holiday-hearted and how that can put “a little shuffle in your step” (so you can both be happier and line dance). Cher and Lauper both have immediate family members who are gay or trans, so this is not just a bit of fun but possibly a personal statement about open-heartedness. I could listen to a whole album of these two together.
“This Will Be Our Year” Another secular song that has been Christmas-ified. I love that it’s here in the finale. What a nice ending and yet something forward-looking.
Big themes of this album are mistletoe kissing, big parties with friends, and lovers being separated during the season. My two top favorites are “Run Rudolph Run” and “Christmas Ain’t Christmas Without You” but there is a sub-tier of favorites too, like all the duets and “I Like Christmas.” This is one of those rare Christmas albums I have, (and I have quite a few), that I would enjoy playing start to finish at a Christmas dinner maybe or on a road trip and feel pretty confident that everyone would enjoy the variety. I have the later coming up so we’ll see!
Thank you, Mary.