So I’m a little behind. I had a thing. Or two. It was not a pleasant turn-over from 2025 to 2026. Trying to catchup is my therapy right now.

Armchair Expert

I want to start with the Dax Shepard controversy. While I was in Cleveland one morning in January, my sister-in-law asked me if I had heard what Cher said about Dax Shepard. And I answered Who is Dax Shepard? And then I looked him up and I remembered his face right away. I did not know he was the husband of Kristen Bell.

Dax Shepard is an actor who also has a podcast called Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard (and Monica Padman is the co-host). Four weeks ago they interviewed Cher. On the podcast Cher, now infamously, called Kristen Bell “definitely the better half” and said then said, “the truth is, I trust her. So you must have something that I don’t see.”

Cue the hysteria.

It came at the end of a very good interview, I have to say, one that asked some novel questions and went deeper into Cher’s recent memoir than most of the interviews in 2024. And kudos to Dax Shepard (and Monica Padman) for circling back with follow-up questions like a real conversation. I mean he read the book. And had feelings about it!! One of their good questions was trying to nail down with Cher whether Sonny was so restrictive with her for love or for money. No one before had the large stones to ask her that before. And Cher was tactful in the interview except for the question about Kristen Bell, who is one of her friends from the tumultuous filming of the flawed movie Burlesque.

And I think this contrived-seeming scandal detracts from the quality of the interview itself.

I say contrived because Dax Shepard himself brought up the fact that Cher had mentioned prior to this interview that she didn’t believe Shepard was a  good enough mate for Kristin Bell. So Shepard knew the answer before he asked the question and was never at any point offended about it. In fact he said mock-seriously that he even agreed with Cher’s assessment adding that no one was good enough for her. He challenged Cher to list someone she did think was good enough for her. Kristen Bell herself interjects at this point to instruct Cher that Shepard is being self-deprecating.

Is it, of course, a pure example of Cher pulling no punches. It’s also ironic because Cher, more than anyone else I can think of, has been in this position of defending her heart over and over again. Remember Sonny (a relationship that was impossible to explain to people) and Gregg Allman (“nobody understood it”) and all the younger boyfriends. She predictably sees things in men her family, fans and co-workers do not see. And that’s as it should be. We can’t all like the same people. Love is irrelevant to translation and transference. (“Love don’t make things nice” and all that.)

That Cher would put anyone on the defensive about their heart is very interesting.

But it all made me look more closely at Dax Shepard; and he struck me as charming. I woke up early one morning thinking about this whole thing and Shepard’s way of downgrading his stock, (as Bell advised Cher he was doing). At one point, he joked about what a terrible father he was. Bell kept trying to explain him to Cher, his sense of humor.

And all that seems to indicate he might be exhibiting what they call  gray rocking. Not a likely thing for an entertainer to do (they usually try to make themselves bigger) but not unheard of either. Folks today are calling it “reverse catfishing.” Back in the day we just called it self-deprecation. It is, in a nutshell, to undermine or undersell your value…on purpose.

Sometimes people seem like they’re underselling but they’re not. This is to set up an expectation they can come back and defend. Like the bad lover who says, “I’m no good, baby!” Oprah then quotes Maya Angelou to say, “They tell you who they are.” You just didn’t believe it. It’s the bad ones who often do this. The good ones sometimes do not tell you who they are and for a reason.

And that reason could be gray rocking (or reverse catfishing or whatever). It’s often initially a defense mechanism to deflect against unwanted attention from various situations or people, like narcissists, for example, or manipulators or too much affection coming at you that you can’t return or just waiting to see who’s willing to look a little closer (in order to weed out the unserious or unobservant or to confuse the constantly self-promoting).

There’s an Easter Egg effect about it (like those secret doors in video games or DVD home screens that lead to a secret entrance to a fabulous room).

And it can become, like in Dax Shepard’s case, a comedic trick.

I mean I guess. I don’t know Dax Shepard. Seeing him in person with all his real room vibes is a lot different than watching a podcast on YouTube. But he strikes me as a strategic underseller.

It’s a thing. There’s a club. Don’t ask me how I know.

The Cher Zines

The Cher Zines (1, 2 and 3) are back up for sale for digital download only on Etsy.

Cher Weddings

Cher and Alexander Edwards suffered wedding rumors at the end of last year and even some local network news shows picked it up. These never cease, boyfriend to boyfriend.

The Grammys

Cher was awarded a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Grammys along with Carlos Santana, Chaka Khan, Fela Kuti, Paul Simon and Whitney Houston. These were presented at an earlier ceremony on Saturday, 31 January 2026. Cher did not attend but her friend Loree Rodkin did and posted most of the Cher reel on Facebook.

Cher did show up at the Grammys main broadcast on Sunday, 1 February 2026, to give her acceptance speech and present the award for Record of the Year.

I haven’t seen the full show so I’m not sure about the context of her appearance. Was she the only lifetime achievement winner allowed this televised acceptance moment? Was it conditional to her presenting? She wasn’t billed as a presenter ahead of time so that kind of limits the value of her presenting (if that was the condition).

Entertainment Tonight posted her acceptance speech as a short on Facebook.

Apparently there was confusion and Cher said she was going to walk off. As she was walking off the host called her back to present the Record of the Year award.


But then she has trouble reading it probably due to dyslexia and who knows, maybe having the wrong eye-wear in (or out).

She announced Luther Vandross (because his name was on the card) as the winning song. Samples of his 1982 song “If This World Were Mine” were part of the true winning song “Luther” by Kendrick Lamar and SZA. Cher corrected the mistake but…cue the hysteria.

See Entertainment Tonight’s YouTube title for the segment:

According to A.I. “the mix-up highlighted the deep connection between the late R&B legend and the winning track.”

See? Even A.I. is cutting Cher some f**king slack!

And A.I. wasn’t the only one, as the Entertainment Weekly roundup shows. SZA defends Cher to Entertainment Tonight later when they asked her if she knew what was happening. She said, “a legend was speaking. That’s what I understood.”

I find it very heartwarming how supportive the black community is even after Cher flubs.

More SZA defending Cher from:

Helen Mirren

Helen Mirren recently won the Cecil B. Demille award at the Golden Globes and in her acceptance speech she provided a list of “women that inspire me” which included Monica Vitii, Ana Manani, Jane Fonda, Bette Davis, Judy Garland and a list of women who can be recognized by just one name: Madonna, Barbra (Streisand I think), Cher, Sarah Jessica (Parker), Meryl (Streep), Kate  (Hepburn I presume), Cate (Blanchett probably) and her “ultimate Goddess” Viola (Davis).

That was nice.

Defining Cher

As I was reading Annie Zaleski’s 2025 Cher book I tracked down some of her sources for quotes I didn’t recognize. That led me to this Elle article from back in 2018, an interview with Cher about her new Broadway musical.

It had some good quotes and conceptualizations by Abbie Aquirre on Cher.

“Have you ever stopped to think about Cher? You are aware of her, of course, the way you are aware of the sun, with its blinding light, its rising and setting. But have you ever considered the totality of Cher—not just the celestial body herself, and not just the epic arc she has traveled, but the sheer range of stellar explosions she has undergone?”

She goes through all the Cher variants: the ones from Sonny & Cher Cher (pop star Cher and then TV star—the Cher, pulling in “30 million viewers” a week), along side the 1960s and 70s solo career Cher.

“Many more Chers followed,” she said, including Disco Cher, Roller-Skating Cher, Punk Cher and Rock ‘n’ Roll Cher. Then Best-Actress Cher working with the likes of Meryl Streep, Jack Nicholson and Nicolas Cage [not to mention the directors]. Then there was Battleship-Thong Cher, fashion icon Cher and much later Autotune Cher.

And this is what I mean when I describe Cher’s performance width as being vaudevillian versus a career of particular depth in one area. (Both are good, it’s just that vaudevillian types are more rare these days since the death of the variety show.)

When Aguirre talks about her feelings interviewing Cher she has an almost existential crisis, “Wait, Cher is also an actual human.” She describes Cher’s strong presence that is also “quiet, still calm, even delicate…open and listening, and thus exposed. If in her work she is an output, in person she is on input. Powerful but not overpowering.”

She says, “Nicolas Cage gets at this quality when I ask him to describe her acting talent. ‘Cher is a person with a huge heart, and that really comes through not only in her music but as a screen performer. She has an extraordinary blend of strength and vulnerability on-camera,’ he says.”

She quotes young Broadway Cher actress, Micaela Diamond, to say about Cher, “To be so vulnerable and yet have the most power in the room, that’s a really hard place to stand in.”

Aguirre decides Cher is “both otherworldly and relatable.”

She quotes Meryl Streep admiring Cher’s “deep, velvet, mature [singing] voice” and to say that Cher’s crooked teeth “made her even more perfect.”

Meryl Streep is one of the few great actresses to defend Cher’s television work: “She made everybody else on TV look like they were trying too hard, pushing. She was so immediate, free, and she was canny about landing the jokes. Skilled, but it was invisible.”

Aguirre covers the trials of Sonny and confirms what Cher says: “Cher walked away with nothing.” And explains how it was worse than nothing.

I wonder if that’s why Cher wore shredded pants at the Grammys Sunday night, to symbolize her eras of poverty. (I kid.) But honestly, I bet the cost of her outfit could pay for my roof that is being replaced right now over my head as we speak.

Yes, literally (and figuratively) my roof is falling down, but at least Cher is still giving me some bits of diversion.