Oh The Horror–The 80s Are Back

Well, the 80s are trying to make a comeback. Can't say I'm happy about it. Can't say I don't feel a pang of distress to see bright-colored, alternative outfits similar to the ones I wore in high school as I was crying on the shoulder of a friend because of some heartless boy who most likely dressed in similar silly ensembles. If I wanted to go back to that fashion statement, I'd have Molly Ringwall's oeuvre of fine films to take me there, including particularly Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink.  Why do I feel like crap when I watch those? Because I felt like crap when I first watched those.

But the signs of 80s-revival are everywhere: big hipped, baggy, paisley monstrosities worn by contestants on this year's American Idol; David Bowie's "Modern Love" popping all up along my car radio dial; big, big, big hair in the fashion ads of LA Magazine. What's an 80s-era runaway TO DO??

It's funny that I remember the 70s bellbottom jeans revival of the 90s and my older co-workers having similar traumas flashing back to their own innocent eras ("I wore those in high school…never again!").

I never thought it would happen to me. The 80s were so in your face. Those shoulder pads. I spent hours un-sewing shoulder pads from various things. Even purses seemed to have shoulder pads. And of course, everything was pink, my hair was red, my earrings were huge (huge earrings are also back), I wore big obnoxious pink bows in my hair (all of which is pictured above). My friends all had alternative haircuts.

It's really hard to live through this again.

In the 80s, Cher made bombastic power ballads that we will soon be re-hearing on the radio again, along with the old Madonna, Duran Duran and redundant big hair bands. But for Cher the 80s was more than big hair and big music. It was also a new identity and respectability. Videos on MTV, Jack LaLanne ads, good movie reviews, an Academy Award, and tough-chick fashion magazine covers. I liked that part of it, the tough style of the chain mail and leather jackets, the rock-solid bod, the f-u attitude. Even the makeup was strong.

I did acquiesce a few days ago to this pathetic 80s scene. I heard John Waite singing "Missing You" on the radio and I thought, Ok 80s, you can come back.