Yesterday was a hard day, a real hard day. I woke up from a night of crazy dreams, including one where I was stuck in a haunted house with The Edgar Winter Dog (pictured right). In the dream, the house kept shifting itself around so that my bedroom window, normally facing the backyard, was suddenly facing the street. What could that mean about my psychological state?
The past few weeks and days have been an endless stream of discouraging poetry project news which is making me feel pathetically sorry for myself. I’m suffocatingly behind on all of my projects and overbooked socially (Although I loved them, I can’t face anymore grind house festival movies). I needed some R&R time, some me time. Then my new iPod spontaneously broke itself. The last song it ever played was "Take Me Home." It wouldn’t surprise me if the thing went on Cher-strike. I didn’t even get a chance to upload the new John Waite song I had downloaded from iTunes, "Universal Soldier." A great new song but very depressing! Hence, I was a muddled heap of inert despondency by mid-day.
So what did I do? I drowned my sorrows in Cher Scholar tasks. I posted two blog entries and uploaded the remaining Ask Cher Scholar Q&As from Zine 2 (including information on what to do with your 401(k) and how to increase your vocabulary).
After that I tried to peruse Cher clips on YouTube. The more I found the more I was finding. I found I couldn’t digest them all – while watching one treasure, I would get distracted by another cool gem.
Which reminds me of a recurring dream I had as a young impressionable tween. I’d be in a used record store and I would find all these rare Sonny & Cher albums. Either I wouldn’t have any money or I’d lose the album among all the other records in the bins before making it to the cash register. This whole YouTube search felt like an flashback.
Maybe it’s technology that’s making me feel unhinged. While posting the Ask Cher Scholars, my version of MS Publisher had to be re-loaded. I went to a friend’s house for dinner and she couldn’t get her Tivo to work with her new HD TV. With my iPod suddenly becoming corrupted, I was feeling suddenly strangled by technology. And too much information.
YouTube is now a phenomenal source for getting rare video footage of your favorite things. And that’s where the some fabulous Cher magic really is – in the video clips. The Michael Dougles interview with the flowered headpiece…Cher is blooming herself. My Heart Belongs To Daddy is another great energetic early 80s performance I didn’t even know existed. Re-watching Cher call David Letterman an asshole, it’s all golden.
This all should have been an early evening of fun for me but I was too much in a funk about the too-much-ness I was facing. A kid in a candy store suddenly over-sugared. And still today, I feel too scattered to concentrate. And strangely powerless and small. But then if I give up into it…it feels kind of chaotically peaceful.
That’s it. I’m losing my mind.
I just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoy the material on your web site and reading your blog.
I agree with a lot of what you say, regarding Cher’s albums (except your opinion on the late 1980’s early 90’s material – I enjoy both “Cher” Geffen and “Heart of Stone”. “Love Hurts”, minus a few great tracks, was pretty much lackluster.)
Anyway, I don’t own every single album she’s ever done, as I’m only 18 and only in the past year or so started collecting vinyl stuff. But I’ve been a fan since I was like…. a kid. But I do have about 30something of her CDs and five records. (And I just want to say that without a doubt, “Stars” is the best record she’s ever done.)
Any point to my babbling? Not really. I just wanted you to know you have a reader out there, that you’re not just writing and nobody’s reading, cos I am.
By the way, your essay on “Stars” is astouding!
-glocherfan