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The I Will Always Love You Chapter

December 20, 2024 / / 0 Comments

So I finally finished the book last night. Finally! I really wanted to enjoy it slowly. Anyway, lots to talk about. I’ll do a review later, after we go through the television appearances in support of it.

But first I want to talk about the big scene! That action-packed chapter.

First let me just say something about this picture, which is from the back cover of their last duet album. I remember a talk show years ago where the host was showing this photo (somewhat snarkily), indicating Sonny might be a tad fat in this photo. Cher immediately came to his defense, saying something about this is just the way the picture looks, pointing to his…oh wait, I forgot to give us a partial-Sonny-shirtless alert. This guy liked to show off his rug, huh?

Anyway, I have always been fascinated by The Sonny & Cher bedroom, stories that take place in it, pictures of it…I don’t care if the reality was just sleep and reading books. Cher once said most of their lives took place in their bedrooms. And this is one of my favorite pictures of them. There are some pictures of Sonny & Cher that show the real story in a way and I think this is one of them: El Primo with his Prima Donna.

So back to the memoir. Cher often talks about how she wanted to tell stories in this book versus just relay a bunch of facts you could look up somewhere else. This book has a lot of storytelling in short bits but not many scenes dramatically re-enacted over a long period of time.

Except the chapter about Cher breaking up with Sonny. This chapter stands out. Every other chapter operates differently. The other ones are packed with as much life as she can fit into them, often years worth of events in one chapter. But this chapter slows it all down. Is this because the scene is that important in her life? Or is it because this story had the biggest impact on her Sonny & Cher fans and it’s the incident the public is most dying to read about?

Of all the things Cher has done in her life before or after this chapter, this scene feels like the fulcrum. It’s like the birth of Christ in the timescale. B.S. (before Sonny) and A.S (After Sonny).

People have often treated Sonny like an incident, a flash-in-the-pan, at most a kind of a Porter Wagoner figure (not to diminish the bigness of Porter Wagoner), a launchpad for a big female star. But the energy of the book (and Cher’s due diligence in other chapters letting us know all of Sonny’s accomplishments) tells you otherwise. It’s hard to compare this part of the book to the other relationships at the end (Gregg Allman, Gene Simmons and Les Dudek). The Gregg Allman relationship reads like one drawn-out series of many breakups and try-agains, starting all the way back to the first date, which was kind of shocking to read. I mean we all knew there were a few breakups but it seems “he disappeared in the morning” quite a bit. Gene Simmons gets a few packed pages, Les Dudek not much more than a paragraph. We don’t have any scene that dramatically depicts any of those breakup days.

The Sonny and Cher breakup gets its own chapter.

First, it’s important to go back to this same scene in other biographies about Cher. It’s always seemed a bit anticlimactic. Cher at her wits end, on the ledge a time or two, and then announcing to Sonny one night in a hotel that she wants to sleep with The Guitarist.

(In some books, he’s only referenced that way, like Jerry Lee Lewis’ teen wife. But he has a name. It’s Bill Hamm.)

And that was it, nothing like a drawn out episode unwinding through many hours and days and a whole traveling band freaking out in the background.

In other bios it was a short cast: Sonny, Cher and “The Guitarist.”

But in Cher’s memoir, this scene was a legitimate page turner, starting with Cher explaining her loneliness which built up to her ennui around hearing that her best friend and personal assistant, Paulette (and the beginnings of their relationship is fascinating too), was hanging out after their live shows with the whole band in a hotel room. “She’d tell me some variation of ‘I don’t know, go to the bedroom of one of the guys in the band to drink beer, smoke pot, and pass around guitars. It’s not that exciting, Cher.” (274) .

These people traveled and worked with Cher (arguably for her) but she didn’t even know them very well because she wasn’t allowed to fraternize with them. And she wanted to.

I won’t recreate the chapter here (as if I could). But the crush The Guitarist had on Cher is super sweet. Cher talks about performing the song “Superstar,” (which is about a fan in love with a guitarist), and she gives us her thoughts while singing it live: “I’d noticed him playing my riffs back to me one night when we performed…I thought ‘God, he’s really good, and he’s really listening to me.’” (The listening thing is poignant because the only artist Cher had access to at this time, her husband, was most decidedly not listening to her). Unbeknownst to Cher, The Guitarist was nursing a big crush on her, at one point getting caught by Paulette while was trying to render Cher’s portrait on the band’s Etch A Sketch.

(The band shared an Etch A Sketch? I am immediately wondering what I was doing with my brother’s Etch A Sketch at this very moment in the late months of 1973.)

As I mentioned, in the previous stories, the scene only contained Cher, Sonny and The Guitarist interacting. But in reality, the cast was much bigger, full of band members freaking out about what Cher was doing, worried about losing their jobs. David Brenner, the comedian opening for them, was too afraid to tell Sonny. The drama included the whole band, their friends, limo drivers, airport personnel. The scene is surely a movie unto itself.

It’s like Cher crossed the top of fulcrum and then all the chips fell down on the other side and everyone was worried Cher (whom everyone agreed was living an impossible life) was finally making a life decision that was going to lose them their jobs (and in one case, Sonny’s, a hard-won career).

It’s a completely digestible narrative that fully explains why it took Cher so long to change her life and also how she became the strong Cher persona we know today.

So it’s a scene that describes a fulcrum.

But then we return to the title.

All the other titles serve to explain or summarize what follows: Tony Meets Maria, Georgia on My Mind, New York, New York, etc. Most of them are song titles and they work like labels, which is what most titles do.

But then you come upon a title that, itself, works like a fulcrum.

A good example I happened to read the very same day I read this Cher chapter is a poem by Billy Collins titled  “Another Reason Why I Don’t Keep a Gun in the House.”

Fulcrum titles (I don’t even know if they’re really called that but that’s the best I can do right now) don’t work like labels. In a label title you would expect the poem above to be about guns. There’s not a gun mentioned in the entire poem. You’re meant to read the poem and then return to the title and go “ahh yes…I see.” The title is equivalent to the poem, not an introduction of it. The whole point of the poem is answered by the title and only the title. It gives the title a lot more weight and meaning. In fact, the meaning can’t be made without both the poem and title.

Title poems are decorative in comparison. You could read any of the other Cher titles or not. There are no additional or hidden meanings set up between other titles and chapters for the most part.

You read the chapter title “I Will Always Love You” and you think of Dolly Parton leaving The Porter Wagoner Show. Porter Wagoner was really upset with Parton for leaving and she is singing this song to him as both a love song and a fare-the-well, I’m-leaving-your-employment song. You’d expect Cher to similarly talk about how she will always love Sonny even though he had oftentimes been a dick to her.

Nothing like that happens. She doesn’t say that at all. She tells that dramatic story and ends the scene. Then you go back to the title and there’s something extra there. The title renders a kind of judgement on the text, cluing in the reader to something unsaid in the chapter: after all of this, I still loved this person and pretty strong.

Cher is not often sentimental-seeming. Her story about seeing the Silkwood trailer back in the early 1980s is a good example. Everyone in the darkened theater (not knowing Cher had snuck in with her sister) laughed when her name came up on the screen after Meryl Streep and Kurt Russell. Instead of crossing those people off as assholes, she labeled this a unified, visceral response that “you couldn’t really argue with.” Maybe she said “what a bunch of assholes” first and has just never mentioned that part in the retelling. But her story is very grounded in a kind of collective realism and not much her feelings.

So glimpses of these feelings can be very moving. But am I, myself, just a sentimental, sappy. essentialist Sonny & Cher fan overreading a chapter title? Where these titles just stuck on by an editor after the fact?

Valid question. I am sentimental, yes, but am also worried about being sentimental. I could always be over-reaching.

Except that there was a similar song gesture during her interview on Desert Island Discs on BBC Radio. And there was no mediation there with an editor. It was just Cher and the interviewer,  Lauren Lavernehad, talking about Cher’s life in thematic segments followed by a somewhat tangential song (her childhood matched up with an Elvis song, the Phil Spector sessions matched up with “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling”) and then at the end of the Sonny segment, Cher picked this Bonnie Raitt song. She introduces it with an “Ugh” like it took some muster to voice its title, “I Can’t Make You Love Me.”

🥹

As Sonny might say, “Yeesh, Cher.”

Press and Stuff for Cher The Memoir

December 17, 2024 / / 0 Comments

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As I talk about the new Cher book, I’m breaking the posts up into (at least) three parts. The first part (this post) includes the links and artifacts of the book and book review highlights.

Next I’ll do highlights of interviews from television, radio and podcasts that I’ve accumulated.

Finally, I’ll go into my own review notes at the end.

There will also be stray posts focusing on bombshell pieces of the book. I’ve already done one on Sonny not letting Cher listen to music in the house and I have one planned about the chapter where Cher dramatically depicts leaving Sonny for “The Guitarist” in the band.

So here we go. According to Harper Collins, the book will eventually come out in these languages and formats:

French
Amazon FR: https://www.amazon.fr/Lautobiographie-lic%C3%B4ne-pop-Cher/dp/B0D89PLCLT/ref=sr_1_2
This one is currently shipping. I haven’t received my copy yet.

Italian
Amazon IT:  https://www.amazon.it/Cher-memoir-Vol-1-Cher/dp/B0D97PQ8JJ/ref=sr_1_1
I ordered mine from the ES site below because the IT Amazon site gave me an error, but it seems a few euros cheaper at the IT site.

Amazon ES:  https://www.amazon.es/Cher-memoir-Vol-1-Cher/dp/B0D97PQ8JJ/ref=sr_1_3
I received mine almost a week early. It’s in paperback form and some things are strangely untranslated, like the chapter titles and Diane Warren’s lyrics. Although the preface chapter is translated. There has been some snickering about Cher’s bio on the back flap of the book (simply “Cher is a global icon”). I’ll go into that below but it assumes everyone knows who Cher is. The Italian version strikes me as funny (which many things in Italian often do): “Cher é un’icona globale.”

Spanish
Amazon ES but there is still no page for this one, although Harper Collins confirms there will be a Spanish edition.

Mañana!

German
Amazon DE: https://www.amazon.de/-/en/CHER-Die-Autobiografie-Teil-eins/dp/3365009205/ref=sr_1_1
You can purchase this one but it looks like it doesn’t ship until March of 2025.

Portuguese
Amazon ES:  https://www.amazon.es/-/pt/dp/B0DNFZ61F4/ref=sr_1_1?
Only available in Kindle so far.

Mañana!!

The Audio Book
Cher and Stephanie Block read the book which you can get anywhere audio books are sold. Next year they will also release a CD version of the audio book.

News about the audio book: https://www.eonline.com/news/1409267/cher-announces-audiobook-for-her-memoir-and-weve-got-you-on-all-the-details

Get it from Audiobooks.com: https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/cher-the-memoir-part-one/786439

Review Highlights

So now on to the highlights of the book reviews and newspaper interviews, which were all pretty intensely positive. This was both surprising and not surprising since Cher seems most popular as a vehicle unto herself than for any specific piece of work or media effort. She commented to The New York Times that she wouldn’t be reading the reviews because she didn’t want to get her feelings hurt. She needn’t have worried. They’re the best of her career.

New York Times Book Review:
“Her frank autobiography is a testament to resilience…before Twitter morphed into the strange ghost town of X…Cher was one of its finest sheriffs…her confident, confiding new autobiography…her famous contralto has been modulated, but not Autotuned past recognition…America’s melting pot personified, and her long place on the front (and sometimes back) burner of pop culture evokes both the country’s loftiest promises and its worst failures…these 400 pages show the mettle behind the Mackie. Here’s to a sequel with sequins.”

The Washington Post (paywall):
(Louis Bayard)
[This one was a bit catty and overwritten.]
“That the woman may take a while to grasp her centrality becomes the de facto narrative arc of Cher…[the book] had nearly as many ghostwriters as the King James Bible [but] her hearteningly profane voice still emerges…Surely, of all the pop divas in the past half-century, she has been the least concerned with her own reputation….even protesting the very idea of fixing herself in history. Catch her if you can….Then, too, there’s the question of which Cher we’ll be reading about. I have lived through at least four or five…decades later, and to her credit, Cher is able to recover veins of joy [with Sonny]…”

iNews UK:
“Breathless memoir…spares no details and we’re only halfway through her life…the 411 breathless but soberly delivered pages…my, how Part One delivers…eschewing frippery [I had to look that word up], Cher unfurls a life full of Dickensian poverty, mansions with servants, heartbreak, good luck, bad luck, financial chicanery and unlikely events…it’s an extraordinary and extraordinarily cathartic memoir. Even when she’s winning during a journey that defies rational belief, Cher still thinks and acts like the underdog she so often was as a child: only the most flint-hearted could fail to root for Cher. The next forty-something years are barely alluded to. This is more than enough for now.”

The Los Angeles Times:
(Marc Ballon)
“The personification of female empowerment, Cher has done it her way…intelligent, sensitive and engaging…at the center…is the life-changing, tortured, supportive, destructive and co-dependent relationship with Sonny. Without his prodding, vision and drive, Cherilyn LaPierre Sarkisian would likely have never become the fabulous Cher. And without her talent and love, Bono would have likely remained a bit player on the fringes of the entertainment industry…[their] arduous climb back makes for some of the book’s most gripping reading…the memoir soars when Cher writes about Bono, it flags a bit when she discusses her other relationships, [Geffen]…similarly, her reflections about [Gregg] Allman lack depth…these are minor quibbles. [The book] is a fun read, a candid and well-written book…Cher is one of the handful of artists whose extraordinary life merits the extra ink.”

Kirkus:
“The vicarious experience of wealth, glamour, and romance is rarely this much fun. A truly great celebrity memoir…an all-American rags-to-riches dream….[of Sonny] she loved this man, and always will. The story of Sonny & Cher is a story of the ’60s and ’70s, of the growth of the music and television industries, of fashion and celebrity culture, of the evolving role of women in the 20th century. And the skinny on her relationships with music mogul David Geffen, second husband Gregg Allman, and KISS front man Gene Simmons is just as riveting.”

Slate:
(Laura Miller)
“Fabulous…this irresistible book…its candid (yet not-quite gossipy) accounts….despite the involvement with ghostwriters, her voice rings out frank, profane, and delightfully unaffected…it’s the story of Cher’s life and roots before her arrival…that offers the real key to the diva–to bother her personality and her particular flavor of celebrity. Cher begins way back….the misfit cool made Cher a star in the ’60s and ’70s…She was a girl mocked and rejected by the small-minded and provincial, who triumphed in the greater world thanks to her unconventional beauty, her innate sense of style, and above all her authenticity. Even as Cher evolved into a full-fledged diva, her feet never left the ground. So much of the charm in Cher comes not from the stories about other celebrities, but from her vivid memories of childhood, her long friendships with other women, her penchant for cooking big holiday meals for her family. She can turn a phrase and speak the unvarnished truth….Cher was no calculating Madonna or steely Streisand. She played it by ear, like so many of us, taking her knocks with grace and her wins with humility. This makes Cher the best sort of company in stormy times. If she can make it through and thrive, maybe the rest of us can too.”

The Irish Independent  (paywall):
[I could not access this review.]

The Atlantic #1, “What a 16-Year Old Doesn’t Yet Know (paywall):
(Emma Sarappo)
“Cher’s book is a valuable document of a young girl thrust into an adult world. Her current perspective, at 78, allows for frank assessments of difficult situations.”
[I was unable to access the full review.]

The Atlantic #2, “Cher Has a History Lesson for Us All”  (paywall):
(Sophie Gilbert)
“Cher has come to stand for a brassy, strutting kind of survival over the years, and on this front, her memoir is awash in insight and rich in details…a Steinbeckian saga of grim endurance, her life with Bono is a volatile scrapbook of life in 20th-century entertainment…the American musical establishment initially deemed her too outré in her bell bottoms and furs, and then–as the sexual revolution and rock music took fire–too square…in Cher, she offers a persuasive, wry, rousing account of what made her, and what she was able to make in turn…her read of things [luck] understates her sheer force of will–her outright refusal, as with the Oscar dress, to ever be counted out….[on Cher saying she just wanted to tell stories] “and she does, but in a form that can’t help doubling as a broader history–an  account of all the things women have suffered through (casting couches, financial ruin, humiliating public scrutiny) and fought for (authority over their own bodies).”
[I was unable to access the full review.]

The Pinnacle Gazette:
“Extraordinary life story…a survivor against the odds…the grit and determination behind the persona….a figure who has consistently defied mainstream norms and stereotypes…the vulnerability behind her glamorous exterior…the complex web of love, anger and forgiveness intertwined throughout [Sonny and Cher’s] lives…Fame may have been swift for Cher, but it was built upon her relentless work ethic and the desire to create genuine connections….[the memoir] successfully weaves complex tales of personal strife and resilience….her trademark blend of sincerity and cheekiness…one of the most beloved icons of our time. Cher’s larger-than-life personality leaps off the page, engaging readers with her sharp yet warm voice.” This review quotes other reviews:

  • “a riveting tale spun with spontaneity and humor” (Alexandra Jacobs)
  • “in moments of vulnerability, Cher manifests strength, capturing the essence of what it means to be human.” (Gerard Shans)

The Guardian:
(Barbara Ellen)
“Cher is one of the all-time great US entertainment queens…in sometimes unnecessary detail…while reading Cher’s passages about Bono….you’re reminded of her ‘faulty emotional thermostat…she still seems intent on spraying air freshener over Bono’s reputation, reminiscing at great, fond length about their onstage chemistry and banter. You find yourself wanting to scream: ‘Cher, he stole all your money!’

[This and the LA Times review both mention that Cher fails to note that David Geffen later comes out as gay. I’m sure this was intentional.]

“Does it matter? Only sometimes, when, among the forensically detailed recollection, there’s a sneaking sense of the real Cher, the one we’re very keen to get to know, standing behind carefully frosted glass. Still, in the main, Part One makes for a hearty, full-bloodied read: a gusty tale of high-octane showbiz survival from one of pop culture’s true 20th (and 21st) century stars. As it ends, Cher is toying with disco and contemplating acting. Maybe in Part Two, she’ll really let herself rip.”

The Independent :
(Adam White)
“Cher’s flat new book exposes the limits of the ghostwritten memoir….not sounding like ‘her’…saucy without being crude [stories] …her delivery and timing, her way around a punchline.” [The book feels] “oddly stilted…no suspense and silliness, no smack-talk….never quite sounds like Cher. It’s Diet Cher. Lukewarm Cher. Whipped-into-shape-by-an-overzealous-editor Cher. There is a smattering of swear words…and some brief flashes of withering disdain to the drab and unchic among us. But overall the book sis just too conventionally told….ribald jokes are drained of their spiciness…the book seems lost in translation. Absent is the je ne Cher quoi, if you will….The problem with trying to emulate Cher on the page is that her voice is particularly distinct: a dryer-than-dry mis of innocence, bluntness and almost masculine swagger…there’s that deep, silky tone to it, too–something evocative even when transcribed in an interview. It’s as if God wanted to create a voice easily imitable for the world’s drag queens, then worked backwards from there until he made the woman…it’s particularly disappointing because the material is there…[For part two, White wants] “Cher on paper thwacking half of Hollywood. I want Cher being ruthless and mean. I want Cher!”

[So The Guardian and Independent reviews are not positive. But White is clearly a Cher fan and I cannot disagree that the voice in both of her self-penned books is watered-down Cher. White is actually very good at describing that unique voice of Cher in interviews. I just disagree with him that the Cher Voice is what we need here. If you’ve ever heard Cher tell a story at a live show, live talk or give an acceptance speech, there are a lot of gaps there in her performative thinking, a lot of rambling off topic. Alexandra Jacobs of The New York Times might call it a “round of verbal 52 pickup” similar to her old Twitter posts. Reading a book of that would be incredibly difficult for most people. Not something I still wouldn’t buy. After all, I love difficult books. But aside from that, there are biographies out there made up entirely of Cher quotes. You can go buy those. To explain Cher’s story to the world at large, we need more clarity, more narrative organization. And to get this kind of clarity we have to sacrifice Cher’s unique storytelling style and idioms. However much we fans like it, the story of Cher’s life can’t be a frustrating read for everyone else.

The Sunday Times:
(Hadley Freeman)
“[Her] life story is jaw-dropping…prime ministers and presidents are allowed–just–to write multi-volume autobiographies, not pop stars who once sang “The Shoop Shoop Song”…there was some sniggering [at that]. Not even Elton John, not even Barbra Streisand pulled such a power move with their memoirs. Could one celebrity’s life really stretch to more than one book? This, it turns out, was very much the wrong question. The correct one is, is there enough paper in the world to contain a life as jaw-dropping as Cher’s?…Not even Dolly Parton–not even Streisand–can hold a candle to Cher’s cultural dominance. Music, TV, and film: she’s been a star on them all….most celebrity memoirs suggest that the star’s success was all but inevitable, such was the strength of their talent. What comes across in Cher’s was how extraordinarily lucky she was. Talented and determined, no question. But the near-misses are extraordinary….it’s a shame the writing is too often so unlike Cher’s charismatic voice…[but] some laden writing isn’t going to diminish her.”

The Arts Fuse:
(John R. Killacky)
“A compellingly candid chronicle…for over sixty years, Cher’s expansive talents have not only blazed multiple trails, but been amazingly resilient….a hardscrabble life…

Salon:
(Kenneth Womack)
“[Her] story of grit is purely American…a uniquely American story…surviving on pure grit.”

Womack jokes about the back-flap bio “Cher is a global icon….virtually any other celebrity would be required to rehearse a slew of accolades. But not Cher. In her case, it’s patently unnecessary. You’ve always known her.” [We see below that this is, in fact, false. The kids below don’t know her.] Womack describes his first concert, Sonny & Cher at their extended residency at Houston’s Livestock Show and Rodeo (Cher talks about this run of shows in the book).

Hodges Figgis booksellers customer review:
(Alex Diam)
“What a life, what an artist, what an icon!….She’s truly a survivor.”

Rolling Stone (paywall):
[I couldn’t access this review.]

Vulture:
(Justin Curto)
“Stunning stories…Cher has lived many lives–singer, actress, TV host, fashion icon, not to mention wife and mother….

Washington Examiner (paywall/sign-in):
“One of the more likeable qualities of the clunkily titled Cher: The Memoir, Part One, is that its author appears to have taken great delight in writing it. Cher guides the reader through…with chutzpah.”
[I was unable to access the full review.]

Book Reporter:
“Her remarkable career is unique and unparalleled…her trademark honesty and humor…this diamond in the rough succeeded with no plan and little confidence to become the trailblazing superstar the world has been unable to ignore for more than half a century….it is a life too immense for only one book.”

The Sydney Morning Herald:
(Nathan Smith)
“There were many doubters who didn’t believe she could sustain a career on her own…she finally pauses from persevering and looks back…a two-part memoir, one emblematic of the entertainer’s legendary excess and extravagance….inspiring grit and resilience…forced to reinvent in a merciless industry…an unapologetic, electrifying account of the artist’s long refusal to relent as it is a larger story of one woman finally emancipating herself.”

The Daily Illini:
(Bella Schott)
“The sheer amount of information on houses, boyfriends’ families, friends and locations made it difficult to finish all 432 pages. Interesting pockets of stories were hidden in an unfocused memory stream.”

[I suspect this was a young college student review. See below.]

Digital Journal:
(Markos Papadotos)
“This is a life story that needs to be experienced by all fans of music, pop, and Cher. There are so many life lessons that people can learn from this fearless and relentless woman…a bold, unflinching, revelatory book, where she doesn’t hold anything back. It truly captures the conscience of a living entertainment icon, and it humanizes her at the same time. Cher is not afraid to be raw and vulnerable. It is evident that Cher is the epitome of toil, resilience, and she possesses an indomitable spirit. Cher is a woman that has found the means to go beyond the ordinary, and she has expanded and redefined music, arts, entertainment, and contemporary storytelling into what it is today.”

SFChronicle:
(Tony Bravo)
“An unflinching story in an era of big celebrity memoirs…in her more than 60 years in show business she has [been] defined by her ability to find new relevance….frank, funny and defiant….this memoir dives much deeper into the big themes, especially the familial…[she] just kept picking herself up, dusting off her beaded Bob Mackie costumes, and continuing to make a place for herself in the changing culture….some of the best writing is about her developing her image, and the roles masters like Vogue editor-in-chief Diana Vreeland and especially her longtime fashion collaborator Mackie played in creating the Cher look…she takes us along on her journey as she slowly finds the Cher signatures–the voice, the sarcastic stage persona, the hair flip…”

[I feel like I missed some of this in the book.]

USA Today:
(Melissa Ruggieri)
“As expected from someone as divinely unflinching as Cher”

Daily Mail (excerpts):
“The full unvarnished story of her life in a rock ‘n’ roll memoir like no other.”

Celebrity Book Club podcast:
So here are two young girls who do reviews of celebrity books. I was keenly interested to get their take on Cher, as young people who have no Cher-life references beyond “Believe.” But I had to stop listening to the full episode after they had to explain who Elvis was. “He was a singer. You might know him from Lisa Marie and Priscilla Presley’s books.”

They thought too much of the book was about childhood and family. But honestly, they don’t have any references for much that happens in Part ONe. They only know “Believe” and one of them vaguely knew “I Got You Babe.” They said they struggled with the lack of biography on the back flap as well. This goes to show you that even for Cher, time marches on and subsequent new humans have little idea of who you are and what you’ve done.

Reviews posted on the book’s Amazon page that I could not find myself online:

“Her wit and candour shine through as she shares stories of love, loss, and resilience. For fans and newcomers alike, the memoir is a vivid reminder of Cher’s enduring influence and the fearless spirit that make her a timeless queen of the industry.” — Glamour

“A must read.” — Stylist (UK)

“Full of unforgettable memories and insights.” — Cosmopolitan (UK)

A compilation of reviews: https://bookmarks.reviews/reviews/cher-the-memoir-part-one/

It’s interesting to me how many reviewers use the word grit. It’s an unusual word for them all to coalesce around. Was this is the press material delivered with the book? Or is there just something gritty about the book?

Charts

The book made it to the top of the New York Times bestsellers list and on Amazon (where it’s #2 this week).

As of now the Amazon customer reviews are 4.6 out of 5 (of 1,243 global ratings) and the Goodreads score is 4.39 out of five (

Selected Interviews

Every paper or online site seemed to have some Cher-related excerpt or angle from this book in November and December of 2024. It was a typical Cher media frenzy and yet unlike anything since the mid-1970s.

New York Times interview, “Cher Can, and Does, Turn Back Time” by Elizabeth Egan:
“Even in the annals of single-name celebrities–Cher is in the stratosphere of the one percent…she’s been a household name for decades…a soundtrack for multiple generations, whether via vinyl, eight-track, cassette tape, compact disc or Spotify…a gutsy account of tenacity and perseverance….a cultural history packed with strong opinions, boldface names and head-spinning throwbacks…Cher’s voice reverberates with the grit and depth that made her famous…”

This publication actually caught a rare interview with Cher’s sister, Georganne Bartylak, (a witness who I hope one day also weighs in with her side of the Cher story) and it’s her quote that ends the interview very movingly: “She recalled the day when Cher moved in with Bono. ‘I was only 11 and I was crying my eyes out because she was my only sister and we’d been through everything together,’ Bartylak said. ‘I had a big stuffed pumpkin and on it, Cher wrote, “One day you will be proud of me.” 

Bartylak added, ‘I was already proud.'”

The Times:
(will Hodgkinson)
We get a little trip through Cher’s Malibu house and her air of “unmoving calm [it must be the Buddha statues]…ageless as having transcended concepts of time and space.”

Incredibly this interview took place the day before the U.S. election and Cher says, “Id rather slit my wrists, but he’s going to win. It’s hard to understand why.” How did she know? What intel did she have that even door-to-door campaigners didn’t have?

Hodgkinson says he “practically inhaled [the book]” and found himself “in the unusual position of recommending Cher’s own book to her, because it’s a riot: a revelatory, self-deprecating tale…”

“It’s about not stopping,” says Cher. “I was a loose cannon. It took Sonny to see the potential. He was the planner.”

She also elaborates on why she might be a gay icon: “We’re both outsiders, and they’re always there for me no matter if I’m failing, succeeding…They’re funny, outgoing and not afraid to show emotion.”

“You have to remember, nobody looked like me in showbusiness. I didn’t fit in. I had to make my own position.”

She talks about her difficult relationship with directors Peter Bogdanovich and Frank Oz and defends herself as being easy to work with in other films. “Ask everybody…I know when to listen.”

Hodgkinson thinks he can confirm Alexander Edwards is not living in the house, ” I can’t see any men’s clothes lying about in the bedroom.” He compliments Cher’s 1969 album 3614 Jackson Highway as ” a superb example of soulful funky rock, but it bombed.”

Cher says, “I’m not a great singer. I just do what I do.” She’s never done a whole album of songs she’s been happy with.

She talks about Chaz’s transitioning process, that “three months later they were doing it and not telling me…I felt upset and left out.” She also felt UCLA was using the situation as a press opportunity.

She also talks about Elijah and Gregg Allman. “I told him I was sick and tired of him going in and out of rehab and his answer was, ‘But I keep going.’ It was a little bit eye-opening for me. He was trying.”

Hodgkinson detects “some kind of sadness deep within Cher. She’s not your typical sunny Californian superstar. No questions are off limits. There is nobody monitoring our hour and a half conversation, no suggestion that she is trying to protect or manage a personal brand. She just is, with the resignation that brings. You could call it a form of serenity.”

People:
(Daniela Avila)

Entertainment Weekly:
(Maureen Lee Lenker)
Cher talks about how at the end of writing days she would be really tired. It was exasperating and tiring, but not cathartic or healing. The funny parts kept her going. And how the break of the two books came before her acting career because that was “the beginning of a new life for me.” She hints that Part Two has as many highs and lows. “You can’t be an artist and not go through hard times….sometimes it was fabulous and sometimes it was heartbreaking.”

Oprah Daily:
(Charley Burlock)
“Icons are not born; they are built…[the book gives] insight into how she built and rebuilt herself.” Cher talks about working on the book five to seven hours a day. “There are some things that are just nobody’s business, but there are not a lot. I went way past my comfort zone. Way past.”

“People have gotten so much wrong—especially about Sonny and my relationship. I mean, I did my best, like I really tried so hard to make people try to understand it because it doesn’t play well. We were friends, way after we were divorced….I just didn’t hold a grudge…not really.”

Burlock asks her about her confidence in her style…how she didn’t let criticism of her clothes and outfits get to her. She says “because it was stupid and because it had no meaning to me. I mean, my clothes were beautiful. People are still trying to do the naked dress.”

He asks her to elaborate on why she wasn’t interested in drugs and she says, “Can I tell you something? You’re the only one who has gotten it so far: I wasn’t interested….I didn’t want to do cocaine because when someone was doing cocaine they just talked to you endlessly about boring things. If they were doing downers, you would want to go to sleep along with them….I was just like which one of those things is fun?”

And why the lyrics of the Diane Warren song “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me” are so important to her: “I don’t usually quit. I have to be crawling on the ground–and even then, I’ll crawl on the ground and keep going. Because it’s just who I am.”

Burlock: “Well, it’s gotten you pretty far.

Cher: That’s true.

The Cher US Equal Playlist

December 12, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Ok so I am going to start with the Cher Equal Playlist after all. I still have about 8 chapters left of the Cher memoir.

In other Cher news there has been a fire raging near Malibu and Cher’s house.  The Franklin Fire was stopped apparently but not before Cher was said to have evacuated with her pets. Cher Universe on Twitter forwarded a tweet from Elijah’s wife where flames could be seen from inside the house!

I think the buried lead here is that Elijah’s wife has been allowed back in Cher’s house!

Anyway, Cher published the link to this playlist on her Instagram on Monday, October 14, 2024. It was up for a week or two.

Bizarrely, the song order kept changing from my phone Spotify to my computer Spotify and even from different times checking my phone.

Periodically for the last few years Spotify has beeen picking a female “EQUAL US Ambassador” who then picks a playlist “that celebrates her favorite female artists.”

I had a sinking feeling Cher’s playlist wasn’t going to be permanent so I spent part of my trip to Tucson, Arizona, sitting on a hotel room bed hand-writing the list down into a notebook. The list below is the snapshot from that day. As soon as it was the next artists’ turn, Cher’s playlist did indeed disappear. It seems silly to remove old playlists as fans could have discovered these songs liked by their favorite artists for years to come.

From the program page: “Spotify’s EQUAL program supports women creators by providing a space for them to share their content with the world.”

Why limit the discovery when the whole program is about discovery? It’s not like streaming playlists take up any room.

I think it’s important to give this list some time and a good lookover. It’s always interesting to hear what songs the people we listen to listen to. Cher has been, at turns, hesitant to list out her favorites (for fear of excluding other good artists) and happy to tell you who she thinks is currently pretty good. This list was full of new female artists and songs I didn’t know, plus some iconic chestnuts we all know and some attention Cher gives to old friends.

I lost count and didn’t finish figuring out all the categories, but there were Godlike and spirit songs, badass sentiments, I Love You songs, suffering in love songs, persevere songs, Cher-like songs, songs about depression (at least 3). There was what seemed like a precious hour of girl pop, a clustering of rap songs and the end and a sprinkling of country throughout. There was much less rock music than I would have expected. But many more songs in Spanish.

The whole thing was 4 hours and 22 mins (72 songs) and I listened to the whole playlist on a drive from Albuquerque to Tucson. I have highlighted my new favorites.

  1. Song for the Lonely – Cher (persevere)
  2. True Colors – Cyndi Lauper (spirit)
  3. The Best – Tina Turner (lurve)
  4. Walking on Broken Glass – Annie Lennox (love suffering)
  5. Sisters are Doin It For Themselves – They Eurythmics with Aretha Franklin (badass)
  6. The Boss – Diana Ross (suffering)
  7. Freedom – Beyonce (badass)
    I had actually not heard this song yet because apparently I’ve been living in a hole: “Winners don’t quit on themselves!”
  8. Something to Talk About – Bonnie Raitt (Cher-like)
    Who else but Cher gives people something to talk about her boyfriends?
  9. Try– P!nk (persevere)
    “You gotta get up and try”
  10. Respect – Aretha Franklin (badass)
  11. When We Were Young – Adele (Cherlike)
  12. My Love is Your Love – Whitney Houston (lurve)
    Where have I been that I didn’t know this song better? I love it!!
  13. XXX’s and OOO’s – Trisha Yearwood
  14. Me & Mr. Jones – Amy Winehouse
  15. Valerie – Amy Winehouse, Live at BBC Radio
  16. You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman – Aretha Franklin (an old favorite)
  17. Pushing It Down and Praying – Lizzy McAlpine
  18. Little Bug – The Army, The Navy
  19. Driver – Soccer Mommy
  20. Aint No Mountain High Enough – Diana Ross (another old favorite)
  21. Anything for You – Jordana
  22. Inconsolable – Katie Gavin (country)
  23. feels like home – Fourshee (repeated at the very end)
  24. Clueless – Beach Bunny
  25. Slugger – SASAMI (dance, depression)
  26. Wanted – WILLOW (Cher like, performing)
  27. Reach Out, I’ll Be There – Diana Ross (another old favorite)
  28. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This – The Eurythmics
  29. Proud Mary – Ike & Tina Turner
  30. Saving All My Love For You – Whitney Houston
  31. I’d Miss the Birds – Joy Oladokun (loved this one)
  32. Easy on Me – Adele (Cher life, one of my favorite Adele songs)
  33. August – Noeline Hofman (country)
  34. She’s In Love with the Boy – Trisha Yearwood (Cherlike, all the boyfriends she’s had to explain)
  35. Flowers – Samanta Ebert (Godlike) (love it!)
  36. Sirens – Aly & AJ
  37. Love Come Through – LP Giobbi, Panama (dance)
  38. Soltera – Shaikira (español)
  39. Steamy Windows – Tina Turner (lurve)
  40. How Do I Live – Trisha Yearwood (love suffering)
  41. So What – P!nk (Cherlike, being a rock star)
  42. Rich – Cecily (Cherlike, fame)
  43. I already dug your grave – Alemeda
  44. Two Things – Kelsea Ballerini (country, the paradox of love, this song made me look up Hemmingway poems) 
  45. AGORA – Maria Becerra (español)
  46. HOLLON – GloRilla  (rap)
  47. Raise Your Glass – P!nk (Cherlike)
  48. Bye Bye Bye – Dasha (country, even though the video creeps me out)
  49. Me Lo Merezio – Elena Rose (español)
  50. Chrome – Samara Lyn (rap)
  51. Different Color Stone – Tia Lorine (hip hop)
  52. Flush Em – Monaleo, Kaliii (popular rap song with everybody in the car)
  53. WONDER – Me n u (dance)
  54. FEEL IT – ALLEY CUT
  55. It is the Way – Saweetie (rap)
  56. Joseph – METRUTH
  57. Golden Child – Meghan Patrick (Cherlike, country, stardom)
    Cher & drugs: “The same thing that takes the edge off takes the shine off after a while”
  58. How’s the Weather – Ashley Kutcher (country)
  59. Los Fin De – De La Rose (español)
  60. Kiss My (Ah) – Zoe Ko (Cherlike, badass)
  61. X Las Nubes – Paopao (español)
  62. To Tell You The Truth – Shayen (country)
  63. BI – Sofia Reyes (español)
  64. Once – Hanna Ellis (Cherlike, country, harsh but catchy)
  65. God Who Sees You – Iveth Luna (country, spirit, love it!!)
  66. Thank You – Bonnie Raitt
  67. Here Comes the Rain Again – The Eurythmics (depression)
  68. Tears Dry on Their Own – Amy Winehouse
  69. Private Dancer – Tina Turner (I love Tina but this is the only song I skipped)
  70. Dawning – Yasmin Williams (spirit)
  71. I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt  (old favorite 😭)
  72. feels like home – Fourshee (second time)

While I was in the car the order had 67-69 coming much earlier in the mix. Not sure why.

Here are the artists that appeared more than once.

  • Adele – 2
  • Whitney Houston – 2
  • Diana Ross – 2
  • Amy Winehouse – 3
  • Bonnie Raitt – 3
  • Pink – 3
  • Trisha Yearwood – 3 (I do love “Walkaway Joe” but that’s the only Yearwood song I knew before this)
  • Annie Lennox/ The Eurythmics – 4
  • Tina Turner – 4

Keep the playlists coming please.

Sonny and Leisure Music: The Importance of Music to Conceptual Mental Synthesis

December 11, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Cher not only listens to music at home now, but she now records music there too.

I just did a blog post about how my Cher and poetry blogs tie together. This is another blog topic I didn’t quite know which blog to post on. It’s related to Cher but also about the creative process and mental synthesis.

Last night I finally got to the point in Cher’s new memoir where she mentions that Sonny didn’t allow her to listen to music in the house. She says “He wouldn’t even let me listen to music” (196). It’s at the half way point. I knew it was coming. I’ve seen all the interviews. But I wanted to read it for myself before I made it my first post about this book.

First, let me say it’s hard for me not to think about the book as a writer as much as a Cher fan, having thought a lot about the best way to tell the Cher story to a wide audience.

Fans might want a lot of things, but non-fans have a lower tolerance for too much detail or Wikipedia facts as Cher calls them.

And it’s important to remember what the book is trying to do and who the intended audience is. I believe the intention is to reveal insights about the main character to the population at large.

And to that rubric I think, like Mary Poppins, the book is pretty much perfect. I’ll go into it all more later, but it’s hitting all the notes. Some of the factual errors are maybe driving some scholars a bit crazy, but I think the reviews have been pretty unanimously the best of her career. Which isn’t surprising really, that her life story would be giving her the best reviews. Cher is really bigger as a character than any media she travels on.

And I really wanted to blog about recent events in date order: the Spotify playlist, the Victoria’s Secret show, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Memoir but I think now we’ll have to do it backwards. The memoir is just so big and seemingly impactful. Every media publication known to man is looking for an angle story on Cher right now. House & Garden is even weighing in.

At 78, Cher is as hot as she ever was. Which is just incredible when you remember all those lean years of fandom.

So why is it taking me so long to finish this damn book? For one, I’m reading pretty slow and taking notes. Scholars are nerds, after all. I’m also reading other books although I’ve done some drastic paring down to accommodate the Cher book. But I also have book club books on deadlines and the new Murakami book I’ve been dying to read. I’m exactly halfway through that one as well.

So Mr. Cher Scholar says I read more than anyone he’s ever met. Which I don’t think is true, really. Book reviewers, for example, spend a lot more of their day reading than I do. I read maybe an hour in the morning and 1-3 hours at night. I mean I also watch some TV every day or so too.

But I think what he might have been driving at was that I read a lot of books at the same time. Sometimes like ten books at a time, I’m embarrassed to say. I picked up this habit in college when I was taking multiple classes and sometimes a miracle would happen when something I was reading in one class sparked off something I was reading in another class and that’s how I came to write a whole essay on one paragraph of William Faulkner’s Light in August as seen through the lens of a Plato theory about pre-knowledge. Maybe my scheme wasn’t entirely accurate in hindsight but it was a good mental exercise and I felt pretty brilliant about it at the time.

Yesterday I had cause to look up what this type of thinking might be called as it relates to music. I’m not good at thinking about music and I think this is why musical mashups appeal to me. How does someone hear one song and then another song and then think they could find an avenue to meld the two together into a collage. It’s a way of thinking I have no access to. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but it’s that spark of the idea and then the sewing together that intrigues me, these conceptual combinations we use for everything from inventing new food recipes to creating basic metaphors. How to show like to like and different to like, how to bring disparate things together somehow into a new thing.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about in joke format.

This comic I saw today is a mashup of Door Dash culture and the myth of babies being delivered by stork. Unless you have a lot of unrelated material floating around in your head, you probably can’t make these connections.

I would even guess the bulk of jokes are created by bringing two unrelated ideas together.

Which brings us back to music and Cher.

I read a lot more than some people maybe, but it is nothing, nothing, nothing compared to the amount of music I listen to every day. Like 6-8 hours of music (a day). I listen to music at work, while I’m cooking, while I’m cleaning, while I’m driving, while I’m decorating for the holidays (which I am not doing this Cher-treeless year).

It seems to me a kind of torture to insist that someone you live with not to listen to music in their own house. Cher is talking about the days before earphones were common. Maybe superstars like Sonny and Cher already had headphones. I keep trying to figure out what Sonny was worried about: was it undue influence working on Cher, his musical prodigy? Was he worried about subconscious plagiarism seeping into his own songwriting? Or was he just annoyed by her musical choices?

None of that matters though because listening to music is a human need in my opinion. I can’t imaging living without it. I wouldn’t do it.

Atul Gawande talks about decline of living standards in his book Being Mortal and what animal sense you could possibly lose that would make your life not as worth living. I definitely think not being able to eat solid food would be on my list. But what about loss of hearing? Loss of sight? I don’t do well with audio books and podcasts because I keep drifting off in my imagination and can’t find my way back to the spot I fell out.

Would I rather give up books or music? Ugh. Unpleasant decisions. I just can’t get there.

But back to my earlier point about mashups: Music is a way of thinking. Very different from reading. But those two things talk to each other, just like anything else: knitting, plotting against ground squirrels, surrendering to ground squirrels and building them a hutch.

I don’t really want to give up anything because they all feed together like hungry squirrels.

Not being allowed to listen to music. Inconceivable! In some ways, Sonny was a genius at being outrageous.

So Much Stuff!

November 5, 2024 / / 0 Comments

It’s election day. It feels very anxious out there. I’m appreciating any distractions the day has to offer.

And in the Cher-sphere, there is so much to catch up on.

I’m very behind because I just returned from a vacation to Cleveland (a fun one this time), Tucson Arizona, Joshua Tree California and then back through Phoenix. And during that time Cher has been very, very busy.

We’ll need to review it quickly before the Cher book comes out in 14 days.

First, since it’s November we can start listening to the Christmas album again. Some people choose to wait until the day after Thanksgiving for Christmas music, but if you are in desperate need of some pre-holiday cheer, I think it’s okay to indulge early.

There is some memoir news (variations on formats to discuss). We need to recap the week of October 19 with the Victoria’s Secret runway performance, Cher’s Spotify playlist, (which is already down but I captured the songs on a list because I’m a Cher nerd and there’s a lot to discuss around that). We also have the Hall of Fame induction. I was able to attend and see the exhibit at the museum. I’ll review all that along with the Insights video and this year’s program chapter on Cher.

I also want to talk soon about the Cher singles that have appeared throughout the years in Rolling Stone Magazine‘s “best singles” lists. I had to deep dive into my Cher She-Shed to pull out one of the old 1988 lists. Cher songs on those have come and gone and we’ll consider why that is. There’s a podcast out there about “Believe’s” appearance on the latest list.

I also want to start some song spotlights beginning with “Love and Pain” from the Take Me Home album.

While I was digging through my Cher shed, I found some 1970s magazine memorabilia with Cher beauty tips. Since this was a recurring theme in the Ask Sonny & Cher in16 Magazine articles, we’ll look at those.

And then we need to talk about Teri Garr, who has just sadly passed. And the Kamala Harris endorsement video…

In the meantime, Silkwood has just become available on Streaming for the first time with Hulu. It has one of Cher’s best performances under the direction of Mike Nichols and the tutelage of Meryl Streep. If you’re feeling election stress, transfer it for an hour and a half into a movie about sinister corporate malfeasance.

Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine, Part 14

October 14, 2024 / / 0 Comments

So it’s our Last Dance with Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine. How bittersweet. Fourteen installments (that we know of) and we’ve learned a lot. Or at least I have.

And I have looked high and low for a better copy of this photograph, which cuts off the first question to Cher and, like the last column, some of the words at the far right. But I think we can piece together the idea of most of it.

In this last photo, Sonny and Cher wear shinny shirts and you can see Cher’s big rings. Not a particularly flattering picture of either of them but that’s part of their casual vibe, I guess.

 

If your young life is full of problems there’s no need for you to suffer alone. In fact, there’s no need for you to suffer at all. Cher—and Sonny—want to help you—right here in the pages of 16!

Sonny and I are back again, reading your letters, answering as many as possible, and (hopefully) helping you to solve the problems you encounter in your day-to-day life. If your letter is not here, please don’t feel neglected—there just is not enough room in 16 to answer all of the many letters we get every month. Sonny and I carefully select a cross-section of the mail that represents your most important problems. If your questions aren’t answered this month. please come back next month—for sooner or later you will find your problem and our advice right here in 16 Magazine.

Dear Cher, [Question Missing]

Cher’s Response:

Dear Overweight, First, you should have a simple physical checkup by your family M.D., just to make sure that you do not have a thyroid problem (or any other condition). Your problem is probably just that you [overeat]. That normally is the problem with people who are too fat. On the righthand page you will see an ad for 16’s Popularity & Beauty Book. This booklet is a gem of information for “fatties.” I suggest that you try it. Good luck!

Cher Scholar’s Response:

Ok, I really hope this person self-referred as a “fatty” in their letter and this is why we find this word is in quotes. Secondly, a booklet? I’ve been looking for a booklet? For the love of… The rip-off smell is getting stronger in here.

Maybe this person just has thyroid problem. But this also reminds me of the very funny “glandular problem” bit on  Family Guy. There’s plenty of medical conditions to screw around with our weight: thyroid problems, menopausal problems, some antidepressants, steroids and some blood pressure and diabetes medications can cause problems.

This isn’t the only question we’ve seen on weight issues. This series often seems to be repeating itself for all the disclaimers about hand-picking unique issues from the bulk of letters coming in.

If I think back on all the come-and-gone medical solutions to weight issues over the years given to people I know, it’s disheartening: liposuction, testosterone patches, stomach bands, remember those weird fat-jiggling machines people thought were exercise? Here’s a funny piece about a woman who tested one out in 2016.

If I ever meet Neil deGrasse Tyson, I am going to ask him straight out if he thinks nutrition is still a frontier science. I’m convinced it is.

Anyway, it’s not PC to call people fatties or fatsos anymore. Just a heads up if you hadn’t heard. The old Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour had some fat-suit skits that are now equally problematic, but also still funny. (If you can find them.) People who watched the show remember one of the memes of the skits where a fat-suit character would say a metaphorical food word, like “easy as pie” or “pie in the sky” and the other characters would rub their hands together and say excitedly, “pie!”

Even pictures online are scarce. Here is a picture from the first one, a skit called Detective Fat which made fun of the show Cannon with William Conrad. They also had Jim Neighbors as a guest once and they spoofed Gunsmoke.

Dear Cher, At what age do you think a girl should start dating? Also, [do] boys really prefer girls who play hard to get more than girls who flirt with them? Why are the flirts the first to get the dates? Questions, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Cher’s Response:

Dear Questions, I think 14 is the proper age for a girl to start double-dating. The dates should be for dances and public affairs only. My little sister “Gee,” who is 14 goes to community center parties and chaperoned dances [unreadable] dates. I think that guys like a girl who is a [unreadable] flirt and hard to get. Don’t go overboard in either direction, and remember this: it isn’t the girl who gets the first date that matters, it’s the one who gets the second, third, fourth and fifth. I hope you are that one.

Cher’s Scholar’s Response:

What about the sixth date? And the seventh? And ugh…what kind of flirt should this girl be? What is the missing word?? That’s a crucial adjective we’re missing there! And this could very well be the one single word that could have changed me from a bad flirt into a good flirt!

(And I think we can all agree that if I was a better flirt I wouldn’t have said half the things I’ve said in this whole series of Cher Scholar responses. But then I’m also not qualified to answer any of these questions.)

Anyway, Gee is Georganne, Cher’s beautiful, blonde sister who I’m sure had the pick of many offered dates. Especially being able to says she was Cher’s little sister.

More on this later but playing hard to get is basically a pre-dating game. How long does one have to keep that up? Some people play this game long into a relationship. (I’m thinking of a scene from When a Man Loves a Woman where Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia, long married, go to public places and pretend they don’t know each other to keep their relationship feeling fresh.) There’s also playful fighting that is a kind of flirting. But those games seem safer in a situation where people know each other well. Then again there are plenty of people who would be bored without the chase, people for whom the chase is the point. Then there are other people who see game-playing as an impediment to intimacy.

My theory is the more sensitive a person is, (and sensitivity is a superpower, remember), the less these games might appeal to them. It’s like how spicy foods are explained in the book How Pleasure Works by Paul Bloom. People who have more taste buds on their tongue (not hereditary just randomly), enjoy spicy foods a lot less because the taste is overwhelming on a tongue with more taste buds. (I must have zero taste buds in this scenario.) Those people, turns out, aren’t “picky,” as I was always taught to label such people. They actually have smarter tongues, if you think about it. And therefore, they would rather have calmer food.

And speaking of chaperones, Cher was out of the house at 16. Her mother was working and she was probably dating before that even, unchaperoned. Her time with Warren Beatty was famously unchaperoned. Who knows who else she ran into like that unchaperoned. Because Warren Beattys were like rats in the 1960s. If you saw one, there was probably 50 more running around within 50 yards of you. (Oh dear. I’ll probably run into trouble with that joke.)

Anyway, the tension around flirt or play-hard-to-get continues in the next question and we’ll pick it up again there.

Here’s a fake mugshot photo of the unchaperoned Cher.

Amazon.com: Cher - Teen - Mugshot - 1959 - Photo Poster: Posters & Prints

Dear Sonny, I am a guy who is [13, 15?], and there’s a girl down the street I’m crazy about. She is also in my room at school. She used to like me, but now she doesn’t. What should I do about this problem? Love-sick, Chicago, Ill.

Sonny’s Response:

Dear Love-sick, The worst thing a guy (or girl) can do when someone they like ignores them is to start chasing after that person. They become a nuisance, aside from which the chick realizes she’s got you [unreadable] and there isn’t any excitement or intrigue left. The only chance [you] have is to become a challenge to this girl. Somehow, make your[self] interesting to her and then play hard to get. Don’t be at her beck and call. Let her wonder what happened. She will either [come] around or not, and if not, she’s really not for you. The first [step] towards maturity is to learn to accept the facts of life. It’s like [unreadable] buddy—what is is. 

Cher Scholar’s Response:

I’m sorry. Did I say last week’s Sonny answer on football was the worst advice I have ever heard in my life? I was wrong. This is the worst advice I’ve ever heard in my life.

She’s got you [something]? She’s got you covered? Hornswoggled? Snickerdoodled? Boobytrapped? She’s got you where she wants you? What?

Not to mention that this advice conflicts with previous Cher advise on chasing versus fighting-for and we’re back in the perpetual mess of what to do.

Play the game, don’t play the game. It all comes down to the power-structure. Who is having to work hard at performing the appropriate level of availability around which people (and their level of social power) and at what times in history and with the understanding of which consequences? Because both parties aren’t being offered the same power. It’s not healthy if one person is doing the playing for another person and the person being played to has full control of the relationship. It’s not true intimacy because one person has to hold back or release honesty only in particularly acceptable moments. You can’t be yourself and do this.

If it’s a truly equitable game, meaning both parties trade off the power position, this would seem okay. But I don’t often see that. I see one party (and this could be the boy, the girl, anybody) at a disadvantage.

But even saying that, some people are turned on by that disadvantage and that’s what they’re working out in this lifetime. And that’s them doing them.

How do you know if you’re engaging in power plays? Look at how you treat your friends. Do you treat your lovers with the same amount of respect and give them the same amount of agency? Intimate relationships should work the same way (just with extra benefits). Surely, they shouldn’t be treated worse.

And speaking of relationships, since this is our last question about boys and dating and this has been such an overwhelmingly big theme in this column, let’s finish up on the whole topic with a very problematic Cher song lyric and, ironically, a very astute Sonny one.

This 1979 Cher song, “Boys and Girls,” is from her album Prisoner. It was written by Billy Falcon. To give this song some context, this was when Cher was on the Casablanca label and struggling to introduce some rock music into what was meant to be another disco album. This song suffers from that tug of war.

The lyrics also attempt to take us through the somewhat rough experience of flirting.

Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your toes

Well feeling you’re cool is as good as looking it
Thinking you’re cool is as good as knowing it
Playing it cool is as good as blowing it

[I would argue that feeling you’re cool is NOT as good as looking it.]

You know you can’t spend a dollar, if you ain’t got a dime
You can’t hook a fish if you ain’t got a line
You won’t catch the bus if you’re not there on time

[Hard to argue with any of these statements.]

So go read up your books and sharpen your hooks
Then all you need is money and a mouth full of honey
And if you play your cards right after dancing all night
You won’t have to walk home alone
I said, you won’t have to walk home alone

Boys, you can hang loose and slip up real cool
But if your lady has a love noose she might never let you go

[Love noose?! Ok, now that’s scary.]

And if you think maybe you’re too young
And you just cannot cope, just grab a razor sharp
Pair of cutting shears and cut a hole right in the rope
Snip a hole right in the rope

[Razor sharp pair of cutting shears. Very specific. Scissors are not good enough to extricate yourself from the love noose. Noted.]

Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your toes

Well feeling you’re cool is as good as looking it
Thinking you’re cool is as good as knowing it
Playing it cool is as good as blowing it
You know you can’t spend a dollar, if you ain’t got a dime
You can’t hook a fish if you ain’t got a line
You won’t catch the bus if you’re not there on time

Well if you wake up tomorrow morning
And you can’t remember what you did
Just ring up some of your friends
And they’ll tell you just how low you slid
Oh don’t be ashamed of anything you hear
After all you can’t be blamed when you’re drinking so much beer

[Just how much beer can we picture Cher drinking?]

Hey, don’t worry that what you did just wasn’t right
Just remember, brothers and sisters
After every day’s another night
Just remember, brothers and sisters
After every day’s another night

[Truth, Days do indeed follow nights.]

Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your toes
I said, boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your toes

Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
Oh, from your head down to your toes
Boys, go and shine up your shoes
Girls, run and powder your nose
‘Cause tonight you’ll be shaking
From your head down to your little bitty toes

I really miss liner notes. Cher’s album Prisoner was the first Cher album to have them.

But this all seems very bleak to me. Even the music makes me feel tense. And there’s a lot more to shining shoes and powdering noses than is explained here. It sounds oppressive, overly complicated and, quite frankly, an emotional quagmire.

Sonny’s answers have been hot and cold in this series, giving both fair and completely sexist advice. But sometimes he could be very sensible and helpful and simple. When conditions were right, I guess. (When the light of the moon hits the keyhole on the first month of December…) Of all the issues in all these columns about love relationships, I believe the answer can be found in this little, unassuming line from my very favorite (Sonny &) Cher song, written by Sonny, “Somebody.”

“It aint power. It aint freedom.”

If you have relationship problems, the issue probably lies with one of these mindsets. And if you can figure your way out of these mindsets, you’re pretty much home free. We’re all indoctrinated to want to control (or be controlled), to escape (or be discovered), as if that’s all there is to it.

But in an ironic twist provided by Sonny himself, relationships are so much more beautifully complicated than power and freedom or “Boys and Girls.” The problem may be simple and static, but a good result is an amazingly intricate variability.

It aint power. It aint freedom.

Dear Sonny, I am 14 years old and there’s a guy I’m really gone on, but [he] doesn’t know that I like him. My mother heard me talking to [unreadable] on the phone and got mad. She says that I should not like boys [four] or five years older than I am. I stopped talking to this boy [unreadable] missed him very much. Then last week we started talking [unreadable]. Now, I think he is in love with one of my best friends. [What] should I do? Mixed-up, Santa Barbara, Calif.

Sonny’s Response:

Dear Mixed-Up, Some parents are more old-fashioned than others, and the problem can become difficult. As you know, I am older than Cher [unreadable] at first her parents did not take to me. Fortunately, I proved [unreadable] worthy of their daughter. Since this guy you dig seems [hung up on?] another girl, why don’t you just determinedly make yourself new friends. When you do, introduce them to your mom, so [that she] can see that they are nice folks—no matter how much [younger? or] how much older they are than you. Wish you happiness!

Cher Scholar’s Response:

A boy she is really “gone on.” Now that’s an interesting way to say it. She’s lost herself. She’s gone. Sonny says “parents” here but in the stories it’s only Cher’s mother who was upset about the 11-year age difference between Cher and Sonny. But now I wonder who Georgia was with at this time. Was she married at that time? I don’t think Cher’s father was involved at all, quite possibly he was in prison.

Anyway, this is good advice, Sonny. And this was a good question to end on. And a great farewell to our series with the final “Wish you happiness.”

Here is a picture of Sonny  & Cher being groovy to see us off. Sonny is wearing his El Primo shirt. Good grief! Well, as they say, fuck around and find out.

 

Read more Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine

Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine, Part 13

October 11, 2024 / / 0 Comments

So as you can tell, we are up to the last two  compromised relics of Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine. Both of these final two have portions cropped out of their respective photographs. Plus the angle of the paper on this one makes it a challenge to read. I might just go blind trying to transcribe it for us here. But I’ve tried, where I can, to figure out what the missing parts say. In some cases, the text is pretty much undecipherable.

This one is also an unusual sample because it has stylized  drawings of Sonny and Cher instead of the usual photograph of them. The Cher drawing is pretty swell, but Sonny looks more like Ringo Star on the top and David Crosby on the bottom or “the lovechild between Hal Linden and Cheech Marin” (M.CS).

 

[DO YOU HAVE some personal questions that are crying for an answer? Do  you need heartfelt advice from someone who knows and cares? Do you feel that there is no one that you can turn to or trust? If you answer yes to all of these questions, please don’t despair—because Sonny] and I are really here and we really are going to help you. Each month we carefully read your mail and pick out a cross-section of the most important questions that you ask. If your answer is not here in this issue, please keep looking—because sooner or later we will get around to you and your problem.

LITTLE MISS INNOCENCE

Dear Cher, There is one girl in this town who is a natural hazard to the rest of us—especially me! If she finds out that you like a certain guy, she immediately “attaches” herself to him. Whenever that certain guy is around, she manages to get up close to him, blink her eyes at him and come on like “little Miss Innocence.” She’s really buddy-buddy with the guy I like. What can I do to get rid of her? STUCK, [unreadable city and state]

Cher’s Response:

Dear Stuck, If you’ll read your letter over carefully, you will have to admit that “it takes two to tango” [not that again]. I mean, if the guy is being “taken” by this girl’s act, then he must want to be “taken.” She probably makes him feel super-important and most guys just love that! Why not try fighting fire with fire? Nest time you see him, give him the same treatment. Don’t by gushy, but come on just enough to make him feel that you think he’s a pretty special guy. Sometimes, if you have that special spark in your eyes—it can ignite a fire in his! [In his what?]

Cher Scholar’s Response:

“Get rid of her.” Real mob-boss flirting, right there. Don’t do that. Does eye blinking work? Is that a viable strategy? I thought that was something we did just ironically? I guess post-modernism hasn’t happened yet.

I would say move away from this girl into a more control-group situation, but in high school you can’t always do this. You’re all stuck together. If these were adult office peoples, you could always plan a happy hour while she’s on vacation. Or just not tell her where the happy hour is going on. You know, mean girl stuff.

Hey maybe try this instead: pretend to like multiple guys and even some girls too and short circuit this girl. She won’t be able to keep up. Maybe it will short circuit this guy as well. I mean he has free will, doesn’t he?

And this whole stoke-his-ego scheme that “Cher” is referring to here. I am having a hard time picturing her following her own advice on this one. At least in public she does not at all seem like the type willing to pander to men. But you never know what happens behind closed doors, I always say. And Charlie Rich says that too. People are different in intimate situations, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, sometimes just because.

Cher was madly in love with Sonny and still he had to deal with her continual smart assery, so much that it became their live act schtick and then their television show schtick. Cher’s sass can be seen all the way back to the movie Good Times. She may be enamored with this Sonny guy but she’s not always happy about it or willing to behave. And I love her for that. Do not go gentle into the good night of love!

NERVOUS NELLIE

Dear Cher, I have a lot of friends and I like to meet new people, but whenever I go to my classrooms in school I get nervous! Whenever the teacher asks me something, I just blush and whisper in a low voice. How can I stop feeling that way? SHY IN CLASS, Denmark, Wisc.

Cher’s Response:

Dear Shy In Class, Sounds to me like you’ve got a common ailment known as “stage fright.” It’s a feeling very similar to one most entertainers have when they start out. The only way to beat it is to refuse to let it beat you. The next time your teacher calls on you, take a deep breath—look her squarely in the eye—and force yourself to project your voice so that everyone in the room can hear it. It’s tough to do, at first—but after a few times your fear will fade away completely and you might even find it fun to recite or answer a question in front of an “audience” (especially if you know the answer!) Keep at it—practice makes perfect.

Cher Scholar’s Response:

Just take a speech class. That will shock the fear right out of you. I did theater in high school and found butterflies always had a short shelf life; but nothing prepared me for the college speech class. One guy in the class did a speech on manatees and ended up fleeing the room, never to return. That first speech was a gauntlet! It’s the trenches of stage freight. After that, nothing ever seemed very scary.

But there’s an umbrella to stage fright which is any kind of performance anxiety. I was actually more afraid to answer the phone than I was to get up on a stage and read someone else’s words. Hell, if the audience didn’t like it, maybe it was the script. But answering the phone you had to think for yourself and on the fly! And until I went though a week of being a receptionists where phone answering was unavoidable, that fear never went away. (I still don’t love hearing the phone ring, to be honest.)

But the point is, nobody on the other line really cares all that much. This was the point of a really good Schitt’s Creek scene where the character David Rose was deathly afraid of failing his driving test and his sister Alexis was telling him the driving instructor really didn’t care if he passed or failed. “Nobody cares….people aren’t thinking about you the way you’re thinking about you.” David doesn’t believe her but when the driving instructor arrives, David suddenly notices that it’s just another day on the job for the driving instructor who is wrapped up in his own life struggles and, in fact, does not care whether David passes or fails. This frees up David to pass the test.

Cher infamously had crippling stage fright and sometimes describes fainting and throwing up before her first live shows. This is the whole reason Sonny & Cher even exist as a duo. Sonny knew he was not a strong singer and was only intending to promote and support Cher as a performer. But Cher literally pulled him out on stage with her and for the next ten or so years she performed mostly to him (even on television) to get through her discomfort with live audiences.

Here is what that sounded like (1964).

NOW—OR LATER?

Dear Cher, I am a 9-year old girl. I’m intelligent and fairly attractive. I’d like to order 16’s Popularity and Beauty Book. Do you think I’m too young for it? Should I wait until I’m older? MIXED-UP, Mt. View, Calif.

Cher’s Response:

Dear Mixed-Up, You’re never too young to look, feel and act your best [good grief]. The sooner you learn how, the better. I think that the 16’s Popularity and Beauty Book can answer a lot of the questions you’ll be asking as you grow up. It might possibly allow you to side-step many of the teenage problems that lie ahead. Go ahead, get one (see ad on facing page)! Give yourself a headstart! It’s much better to be too early—than too late!

Cher Scholar’s Response:

We’ll have to agree to disagree here. Yes, Mixed-Up, you are too young. Come on, you’re already mixed up! Reading this won’t allow you to “side-step” any of the girl drama ahead. You’ll just start obsessing over it sooner, when you should be doing things like dancing to records and building forts where you can get down to the business of plotting a takeover of the neighborhood with your girl and boy friends. Play some Yahtzee. Roller skate to the pool. Anything else. I’m guessing you have an older sister or you wouldn’t even know this silly book exists. That said, I keep looking for it on eBay. But don’t you fall for it!

Trust me. It’s fine to be “too late” with all this shit. You will have plenty of time to pour over this beauty and boys book like it’s a tome of scripture instructing you on how to reset your hair after having to pull it out again every goddamn, lovesick day.

The only exception to this is would be if you’re 9 years old and have your hot, sweaty hands on a Cher Makeup Center. In this case you can learn how to roll up synthetic hair and put makeup on a plastic face to your heart’s content. Look how much fun this girl is having!

SEARCHIN’

Dear Sonny, It’s hard to define my problem, but I’ll try. I’m a [member of] a close-knit, happy family. Lately, I’ve been the most [unreadable] guy in the world. I don’t care to join in games with my [unreadable] brothers and sisters, and I’m not happy doing the  [unreadable] things that used to be fun. I feel lonely—even in a crowd [unreadable] my friends at school seem different and childish [unreadable]  don’t know what’s the matter with me. I feel like I’m [searching] for something, but I don’t know what it is! When will I be [unreadable]? DISTURBED, Tucson, Ariz.

Sonny’s Response:

Dear Disturbed, You defined your problem very well! It’s a problem [unreadable]  everyone has to deal with when they make the big step [unreadable]  childhood to young manhood or womanhood. All of a [sudden] you find yourself looking at the world through different [eyes] and things just don’t look the same. The “it” you are [looking] for is you—the real you. The friends who look different [unreadable]  now just haven’t reached the stage of development [that you] have—but they will! Growing up is never an easy thing [unreadable]. (In this hectic world we live in, it’s getting more difficult [unreadable] day!) If you will try to realize that millions of teenagers [all over] the world are experiencing the same inner “growing pains” [unreadable] you are—you won’t feel so lonely. We are all (at one [time or] another) searching for something—and most of us spend [the] time looking in the wrong places. Look within—you’ll [unreadable] what you see. When you find yourself, you’ll know the [unreadable] was worthwhile. 

Cher Scholar’s Response:

I feel like some of the most pertinent parts of this response are unreadable. What will be worthwhile?? What will you see when you look within??

Cher was oddly both immature and overly mature for her age. She admits that when she moved out at 16 years of age she “couldn’t even match socks.” But as the oldest sister in a house with a working mother, Cher says she was also often called upon to do adulting before she wanted to. Someday I would like to hear sister Georganne’s stories about their growing-up years. Which reminds me that part of the big Sonny & Cher entourage we never saw at the time included family members who all spent a lot of time with Sonny & Cher, including Cher’s sister Georganne and Sonny’s first daughter Christy. They all grew up as part of the extended Sonny & Cher family and growing up too fast is often a problem in celebrity families. You could see the hardships of the child/adult transition watching both Chaz and Elijah as they both struggled with the same addictions and crises of purpose many children in Hollywood seem to go through.

I am no expert in maturity so I’m gonna have to pass on this one. I got nothin.

FOOTBALL PLAYIN’ TOMBOY?

Dear Sonny, What do boys think of girls who are “tom-boys”? I’m [unreadable] years old and I love to play football and hate to wear dresses [unreadable] play football with the boys in my home town and that [unreadable] me almost as one of them. I’d trade a new dress for a [pair of] jeans any day! Is there anything wrong with me? DRESS-HATER, Raeford, N.C.

Sonny’s Response:

Dear Dress-Hater, As long as you’re concerned about what boys think about [unreadable]—there is nothing wrong. The popularity of slacks and [unreadable] with the girls of today should show you that there are [unreadable] “dress-haters” around besides you. As to the football play[unreadable] I’m not quite sure these boys “accept you” almost as [one of] them. If I were you, I’d restrain my love for football to the [side] lines and to watching games on TV. 

Cher Scholar’s Response:

Shouldn’t that be “as long as you’re not concerned” Sonny? You’re fine if you’re not concerned?

Okay, there’s probably something very honest about what Sonny is saying here. I appreciate his honest sexism here. But aside from that, this advice is probably some of the worst advice I’ve every heard in my entire life.

I come from a sports loving family and was actually pressured to play sports but I hate running and jumping so…I literally lettered in theater which is, in it’s own way I guess, a dangerous contact sport. But I was often made to attend sporty things like swim meets and baseball games and had to be bribed each time with food because I’ll pretty much attend anything if food’s on the table somewhere in there.

But I found I was willing to get into a sport for friends and lovers. And luckily my friends are like me and also not into sports so that basically leaves boyfriends. If they are into it, I will try to get into it. This was initially a challenge with my in-laws who follow the Kansas City Chiefs. Even the girls. It’s part of their family culture and family events often revolve around the games.  The first few years were rough as I had no idea what was going on and football seemed extremely boring. I would fixate on funny player names (Dexter McCluster) and making jokes about things the announcers would say. Then Patrick Mahommes became the quarterback.  That was a game changer, as they say. He was adorable and often ran like a girl while crushing the NFL with his athletic impossibilities the whole time. It wasn’t hard to become a fan after that. Also, Tyrek Hill used to do cartwheels after touchdowns.

Aside from many, many hetero girls loving football these days, it’s also possible this young girl might be gay. There’s a very memorable clip of Chaz throwing a football with Elijah on one of the Barbara Walters interview specials from the 1980s. We all thought Chaz was a tomboy back in the day. The point is there are many tom-boys, gay girls, trans boys and girlie girls who like football. And some of them play it and even coach it. Quite a few women are making inroads into the NFL as coaches.

I recently had an argument with my Dad about trans athletes in sports and he was saying it wasn’t fair for trans girls to complete with other girls and I did agree with that but I was recommending we rethink sports entirely in a non-gendered way based on weight classes (like we do in wrestling and boxing). You know, the way we should have been doing all this time anyway. In the middle of this my Dad admitted there are women who have shown they are better kickers than men. I said, “That’s great. Can women join football teams now then?” And he said immediately, “No.”

So it’s not about skill or a strength advantage. It’s about gender discomforts in gendered spaces (a.k.a. boys clubs).

And then there’s the fact that Cher is a football fan herself going back to the 1970s. She once described a party where the Fearsome Foursome’s Deacon Jones taught her the game. Throughout the years, she has mentioned still enjoying watching football.

There are many reasons why Sonny’s gender-rigged response does not age well. Arms akimbo to this response, Sonny!

 

Read more Dear Sonny & Cher from 16 Magazine

Kiss and Tells and Legacy Building

October 9, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Cher: The Memoir, Part One Audiobook by Cher - 9780008355388 | Rakuten Kobo India“Why should one’s art then be an achievement? Why not more an adventure?”
— Poet Robert Duncan

We’re all waiting to see how much of Cher’s autobiography is a kiss and tell. She has said time and again that she never wanted to do that sort of memoir and was disappointed that Sonny did so with his.

But why should that keep one from telling their life story? Is that all a life is about? Sex and gossip? What about all the other struggles, joys and actualizations of the self?

Reading Ann Powers’ book on Joni Mitchell, it was interesting to see the point at which Joni Mitchell switched from making new music to legacy-building. This took the form of accepting tributes and re-releasing music in various ways.

Cher doesn’t seem interested at all in legacy building. I think she said as much in an interview last year. But this is part of what any memoir or compilation album or tribute speech or liner note is doing. Because after you’re gone, people will turn to these as points of reference. And sometimes this is because “the great work” itself becomes unavailable or gets misinterpreted as it loses the context of its time.

Legacy building happens differently for politicians and poets and painters and rock stars and actors. But there seems to me different ways you can go with legacy building as an artist:

  1. A relationship tell-all, (not the same as a sex tell-all), especially if you had a life-changing one, like Cher with Sonny. Surely there’s something in certain relationships that were inspiring or in some cases character building. Katharine Hepburn handles this with class and honesty when she talks about Spencer Tracy in her autobiography Me.
  2. Stories of the ridiculous and transcendent things that happened to you. And usually these things happen with people around you who you loved or hated and they experienced these same things too right along side you and so are part of your story. These events are also part of their stories.
  3. The change agents of your life. What or who sent you off at a 90 or 180-degree directions? What were the twists and turns in your before-then otherwise linear plot. These can be situations as often as people.
  4. Your creative problem-solving. All of us have had to do this. It reminds me of poet Frank O’Hara’s obsession with the  process of painting and poetry and determining the difference. How does your brain works to solve problems of your work? What tools did you use to work things out?

In any case, no one can top Sonny’s kiss-and-tell by a sexist rockstar (well, rockstar to some degree…in some minds…in my 7-year old mind). Sonny dropped the mic on this kind of tell-all, in my humble opinion.

He started a sexual relationship with underage girl (who became Cher) and then wrote a whole  book to complain about it. It makes Gregg Allman’s crass comments about his “hot” sex with Cher and other women (“they have two purposes: to make the bed and make it in the bed”) seem downright gentlemanly in comparison.

Little Bites

October 8, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Little Bites (2024) - IMDbSpeaking of Little Bites, here is a post to catch up on bits and bites of the Cher news we’re behind on.

Lawsuits

Cher and her son, Elijah Allman, have come to an agreement via mediation and Cher has dropped her conservatorship lawsuit. More info:

Cher won her royalties lawsuit against Mary Bono. More info:

Chaz Bono Appearances

Chaz Bono recently spoke in Rochester, New York, at a sobriety event and also discussed his family’s history of addiction and mental health struggles.

Chaz Bono’s new movie Little Bites also premieres this Friday, October 9. Not in my town but the step-and-repeat wall indicates the movie might be coming to streaming on Shudder. I will be able to watch it there.

Watch the Trailer

It looks scary! Reviews have so far been mixed but it has a 70% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The premiere was held in Los Angeles on October 3. Cher is listed as Executive Producer on the film and attended.

You might recognize this jacket from the late 1980s People Magazine picture in New York City. One of my favorite Cher pictures.

Ted Lasso and Cher

Ted Lasso (TV Series 2020–2023) - IMDbThere are few good things I have to say about this shitty, heartbreaking year. But one of them is the time I’ve spent watching an amazing show called Ted Lasso. My family has been prodding me to watch this show for a while now but I didn’t have AppleTV.  The show has a strong foundation of kindness and perseverance and goes against the grain of decades of Machiavellian TV plots. We have been so bombarded with fictional and reality characters showing us all the ways we can be assholes, it’s refreshing to see something that shows us all the ways to not be assholes…and still maintain dramatic interest, as if assholery is the only thing that could.

The show is well-written and full of inspiring sayings like “aint nothing to it but to do it.”

Anyway, it’s was a happy thing that Cher makes a few of the show’s references in Season 2, episodes 7 and 9.

Episode 7 opens with the song “I Got You Babe” played in its entirety to show all is not blissful in the relationship between Roy Kent and Keely Jones.

In Episode 9, “Bones & Honey,” we follow the character Beard through an episode-long adventure not unlike the movie Nobody mashed up with Martin Scorsese’s After Hours. Beard proposes taking some Richmond football fans to the ellusive club Bones & Honey to sneak in as nonmembers. One of the characters is doubtful, saying “even Cher couldn’t get in! Do you believe they did that to Cher?” complete with pitch voice.

Later when Beard does get them in, the characters are amazed, saying “You did what Cher couldn’t do!”

It was interesting to get the show’s read on the cultural meaning of Cher as a person who is normally cool enough to get in anywhere. Like the coolest of the cool.

Sammy Hagar

While I was in Boston, my oldest brother Andrew told me about driving from Champaign/Urbana to St. Louis with a bunch of his frat mates to see Sammy Haggar play a 1983 show at the Checkerdome for an MTV special. Recently I had to make an unplanned visit to Cleveland where my other brother Randy admitted he was also at that show.

I watched the concert on a bootleg recently and was struck by all the big stage props in it, the crane rigging Sammy Hagar climbs up and hangs off of like a monkey, the hot rod Hagar jumps on. It’s a fun show.

But these pieces of staging aren’t that different from Cher’s big shoe and lava lamps, just people designing shows for the last row of their arenas. Instead of dancers hanging from cranes, Hagar just did it himself.

He was just designing a more masculine show and so no one ever accused him of putting a car up on stage to detract from his music or due to his lack of talent.

Funny that.

Cher Show on the Road

New dates have been released for the traveling version of the Broadway Cher Show. I will be seeing one of these in 2025.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony

It appears Cher will perform. Ozzy will not. My Ozzy-loving friend Julie has talked me into attending the ceremony. We’ll be going with my brother Randy (of the aforementioned Sammy Hagar show which is ironic because Sammy Hagar is also attending). It seems Dua Lipa is slated to do the Cher tribute. This is a bit disappointing. I was hoping some older, establishment person would do the honors. But in many ways Cher is all about the future, not the past. But these legend tributes seem to always come from younger artists like Gwen Stefani (except when Steven Tyler did it or, recently, Meryl Streep).

The show will air on Disney+ which is just about the most unrock-and-roll channel imaginable (except that The Mayhem are on Disney+).

Last week the Hall of Fame released a tweet about Cher which was a closer look type thing. They mentioned her “distinctive voice”, “captivating stage presence” (which is way short of the real fact that she always steals focus), her “avant-garde fashion sense” (which is way short of calling out her huge rock-fashion influence), that she is a “generational force” (short for saying we didn’t think she would last this long), her “tenacious talent,” (which sounds great but what does that even mean?), and her “musical versatility” as showcased in the tweet with a short video on…”Believe”). What? “Believe” is important but it is hardly a showcase on her versatility. They should have referenced instead samples of her dance, rock, folk, pop, country, rap, r&b, torch, showtunes, opera, gospel and new wave music. Is that the best they could do?

I am going to this with a bit of skepticism that the Hall of Fame really appreciates Cher yet. This could just be the long-standing chip I have on my shoulder. But I just hope, if nothing else, we get a snapshot of Cher with Sammy Hagar out of this. I could usefully troll some brothers with that.

New Cher Compilation Albums

October 8, 2024 / / 1 Comment

Cher and Warner Bros. records have released a sudden, new Cher compilation, likely to provide something for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame record bins.

Like for the Christmas albums, there were alternate covers and I pooped-out at silver, red and blue copies. It turns out there are purple and gray covers as well.

I’m already tired of this device. Probably this is because this comp isn’t as good as the last official Best Of comp of 2003 or last year’s Christmas album where I gleefully bought multiple copies and also because I’m over this devise already and will not be buying these multiple versions anymore unless years from now I see them in used CD or vinyl bins for a dollar.

Before we talk about the Forever comps, there was also a new Sonny & Cher vinyl compilation released this summer, Now Playing, a Rhino release covering the ATCO era with a sea blue vinyl record. Not only is the selection meagre, there’s only a one paragraph liner note full of incorrect statements such as describing the songs as “easy-going tunes with cross-generational appeal.” Do Sonny & Cher have cross generational appeal? Like Cher does? But I don’t know many people beyond Boomers and Gen Xers who find Sonny all that appealing beyond an historical understanding of Cher. The liner note goes on to say the songs are “full of uplifting messages and harmonies” Harmonies? I don’t think Sonny & Cher are known for their harmonies. And “What Now My Love” is practically suicidal so…

And I do not understand why the  good people who made this have swapped out the hit “Just You” for the non-U.S. hit “Sing C’est La Vie.” Robrt Pela reminded me that “Sing C’est La Vie” might be there because it went to #1 in a some European countries.

And why did “I Walk on Guilded Splinters” make it on here, a song I love but which seems completely out of place in this set. Cher was really exploring a new sound by the 3614 Jackson Highway album. It really sticks out.

Honestly, I don’t like anything about this product, the packaging, the selections. Robrt again reminded me that this comp is not trying to be “an all-inclusive ATCO comp,” but rather a sampling for new vinyl fans.

By the way, Robrt Pela and I reviewed all the previous comps here  and have added these latest three comps which puts us up to 150 comps now. Oy.

Now on to the Forevers.

First of all what is up with the name of the shorter, physical compilation? Some outlets like Amazon and the spine of the CD have the title in all caps, FOREVER. The CD sticker has the name as FOREVER CLASSICS. Some outlets like Tidal and Spotify streaming just have the title caps of Forever? Or is it Cher Forever?

What is the official title? And what does Forever even mean? I always struggle with the guiding organizing principle of comps anyway and this title doesn’t help. Are these hits, the best ofs? Nine times out of ten it seems these things are a big compromise or sometimes a nonsensical cash-in.

The first two songs are the iconic fan favorites “Believe” and “Turn Back Time,” which was not a #1 hit but has become an iconic Cher song and super-meme for daylight savings. The CD tracks are ordered nicely by how they sound next to each other, not chronologically. And they’ve done a good job here in that. The songs sound good on top of each other which is not always an easy task. Sometimes it’s hard to integrate the Cher decades.

Since the last sanctioned Warner Bros. comp Best Of (2003), a lot of minor hits have fallen off to be replaced by some subpar additions, somewhat-hits like “We All Sleep Alone,” “Just Like Jesse James,” “All or Nothing,” all which have fallen off Forever Classics (I’m going with that title to differentiate it from Forever Fan; I’m not a fan of the yelly all-caps). We’re also missing “All I Really Want to Do” (Cher’s first big hit), and insanely “Bang Bang” (arguably Sonny’s most covered Cher song). But also “Alfie” and “You’d Better Sit Down Kids.” Some of these (not “Alfie” or “You’d Better Sit Down Kids”) find their way onto the Fan Forever streaming-only edition. And why is it streaming-only for the longer comp? Fans are the ones most wanting and willing to buy physical media so why not cash in on that? Maybe some of the newly compiled, mid-70s Warner Bros songs are only suitable yet for streaming.

On the “Classics” set, there are 21 songs of which 9 or 10 are real hits, about 6 were semi-hits or hits on a minor chart like dance or adult contemporary like “Love and Understanding,” “Strong Enough,” “Save Up All Your Tears,” “One by One,” ”I Hope You Find It,” and “DJ Play a Christmas Song.”

There are 4 somewhere-hits, like “Walking in Memphis” which has become a concert favorite with fans and the nonfans who get dragged to Cher concerts (I have causal polling on this). The song was actually a semi-hit in the UK and Australia. Ditto with “The Shoop Shoop Song” being a hit in the UK and then there’s the fact that Cher likes it and fans love Mermaids.

There are even a few bombs, like “S.O.S.” which as a single but did not chart at all.

Then there are songs missing that were as much of a minor hit as to the ones which were included, like maybe they went to #1 on the dance chart like “When The Money’s Gone.” That wasn’t included but “Woman’s World” and “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me” were.

The most shocking part of the new comp is the dropping of the #1 hit single “Half Breed,” presumably for PC reasons. This was recently discussed in this Rolling Stone article about artists censoring themselves as they work on their legacies. I agree with the author, David Browne, here. “Half Breed” was a good-intentioned song about the experience of racism. The stereotypical musical elements undercut this but, considering the context of its time, it was historically significant and a huge part of Cher’s legacy, so much that it became one of her forever nicknames.

It’s always problematic if a culture evolves and then a once well-intentioned song starts to bring pain to a community. This is probably why the song was dropped. But what about the term “gypsies,” which is also no longer PC? No one seemed concerned about the cringe-worthy French stereotypes in “Sing C’est La Vie” when that was added back into the new Sonny & Cher comp this year. Eventually all the words become problematic and the PC efforts become unsustainable. The whole point of the songs “Half Breed” and “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” was to describe how hurtful those words were and still are. We’re getting stuck in the weeds here. Not to deny the problems of the tom-toms and the chanting (and Cher’s infamous Mackie Half Breed dress), but I think chastising after the well-meaning is counter-productive. As Maya Angelou says, “when you know better, you do better.” What does revamping history serve? What’s more important is what we do now. I guess dumping the song from new comps makes it feel like doing something now. But it isn’t really.

You can’t really please anyone in this case. People will be upset if the song is included or excluded.

Forever Fan (the streaming-only set) has 40 songs and includes all of the first 21 songs from Cher Classics plus some of the dropped semi-hits mentioned above, plus songs like “The Music’s No Good Without You,” and “D’ove L’amore.”

Forever Fan also includes songs that were never even singles like “Welcome to Burlesque” (although the song is a staple of the last few tours), the critical favorite “One of Us,” the self-published “Still” and “I’d Rather Believe in You.” Some good songs but none of them were singles.

There are also some complete bombs like “A Woman’s Story,” “I Paralyze,” and “Move Me,” but these are songs either fans or Cher loves anyway. “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” the U2 cover, is another live show staple but the streaming song title (is there a streaming booklet of credits I missed?) oddly makes no mention of which live show the recording comes from. It’s from the Farewell TV special of 2003.

There are only four songs from the 1960s added to Forever Fan, “Bang Bang,” “Baby Don’t Go,” “The Beat Goes On” and “I Got You Babe,” a #1 song egregiously missing from the Cher Classics.

“Hell on Wheels” would have been a nice add. “Love One Another” and “All I Ever Need Is You” were nominated for a Grammy. “Fernando” was very popular, more so than any of the other ABBA songs on Dancing Queen.

Then there’s the packaging which seems to be trying to appeal to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, as if rockers and bikers are synonymous. Cher has plenty of other performing shots that denote her rock star cred more authentically. Plus these shots are all old by now, magazine and advertising images that seem entirely tangential to her stage work. And the back CD promotional shot from the Laurie Lynn Stark promo feels fine for what it was created for, but for making the case of rock credibility, it seems to be trying too hard.

And then there are no liner notes! Ugh. There’s a missed opportunities for liner notes at every release these days. I know, I’m a writer and love to read liner notes, but those words mean something. She deserves much more of them and it’s painful to see booklets come and go without them. I keep hearing Tom Cruise in my head from A Few Good Men, “He’s arguing. He’s making an argument.” Legacy releases and re-releases are making an arguement.

The booklet is slim and fans are left mulling over the thank-you credits. As a kid, this was one of my favorite parts of a new album release. Cher “first and forever thanks her devoted fans” and okay now I’m feeling like a complete asshole for complaining about this comp so much. This is now my favorite part of this release.

Cher also thanks “My mom—she’s helping me” and family members including Chaz and Elijah, Jen twice (personal assistants should get two thank yous), Paulette and other longtime friends and her boyfriend Alexander has his own line. Which is sweet.

I know I’ve complained a lot but there are some nice perks here. These are all remasters. And some thought was put into the track order.

The fact that Sonny & Cher tunes were sacrificed for ABBA songs makes me think this thing was targeted for younger generations. But they, more than anybody, need their history lesson of 60s Cher. For those fans, I would still point them to the Best Of or Gold comps of the early 2000s.

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