Category: Cher Product (Page 5 of 8)

Cher and The Ugly Duckling

January 29, 2009 / Cher Scholar / 1 Comment

For those who don’t know, Cher narrated a children’s classic on cassette tape in the early 1990s. When I was a little rugrat I LOVED books on tape so it’s a small crime of happenstance that I didn’t have this waybackwhen. I would have worn the tape ribbon to shreds. This is none other than the famous Hans Christian Anderson story, The Ugly Duckling about an ugo duck who grows up to be a swan (you see? that's why he was ugo? he was swan among ducks…he was just different and had to grow up to find his peoples.

This blog talks about her performance:

Cher's rich contralto voice tells the tale of The Ugly Duckling with dignity and grace. Serving as narrator, and also providing voices of numerous characters, it was clear that each voice was developed and purposeful. I found the older voices she performed to be entertaining and most colorful. You could keenly feel the sorrow of the bewildered water foul. Cher did very well conveying his fellow creatures' bitterness as cold comfort in the midst of unfavorable circumstances. ..Cher narrates over some exquisitely beautiful music performed by Celtic harp player and spoken word artist, Patrick Ball…”

Who doesn’t love The Ugly Duckling story right? Cher, as well as some others of us out there, probably feel we can identify with it. I, myself, feel as if I have failed to fully swan. Zen taught me to accept myself as is, my sort of wabi sabi self. So this story has come to disturb me as time goes by because I think as a culture we have typecast all of ourselves into Ugly Ducklings when we feel alienated and we never really feel self-actualized unless we are Swanned (case in point: the awful reality show a few years ago The Swan which carved up all the women contestants to look all like the same Victoria’s Secret model and then pitted them against each other – it was disturbing and it implied the ideas that “variety is not allowed!" and "Ethnicity is not allowed!”).

The Ugly Duckling also asks us to constantly seek approval from others. And folks, it just doesn’t come. Or if it does, it trickles in with too small of an amounts to appease your insecurities, even if you're Cher.

So you have to let go of the desire to get this mythical all-powerful acceptance and that’s the only way you’ll ever find peace. So what I’m saying little duck is, move on, let go.

I tried to write a poem about it years ago and surely didn’t quite get over what I was trying to say but…here it is:

Collecting Cher

January 15, 2009 / Cher Scholar / 0 Comments

At first I got excited that this article on collecting Cher stuff was out there! Finally, something I could send my parents to ensure them I’ve investing my money properly. 🙂

Who am I kidding?

This article addressed none of the financial advantages I’ve always hoped there’d be in collecting Cher junk. And the author, Victor, is a bit stodgy to boot.

Typical sentence:

“A complete discography of her collectibles is not something to be taken lightly. Ideally, a complete collection could be gathered, giving you something that can be proudly displayed.”

Proudly displayed? A Cher collection can take over your house. Or Basement. Or parents’ basement. Or storage facility B.

“You could also try collecting her t-shirts from all of her different tours. This could also be quite a task to complete as she has toured a number of different times. Gathering a complete collection of these shirts could prove to be a challenge, yet one that you could have a great deal of fun with.”

Victor lists possible avenues of collection: Records, the aforementioned t-shirts, autographed photos, autographed movie scripts, the S&C model cars, stuff from her perfume line, the “look-alike dolls,” alarm clocks and night lights (Jesus, I don’t even have a Cher alarm clock!), wristwatches, trading cards, and musical instruments…

“can all bear her name and because of this, you would do well to add any of these items to your memorabilia collection…Cher has certainly always been a vibrant personality in our culture and building up a stock of her celebrity collectibles could not only be a bit of a challenge, but give you a great deal of fun in the meantime.”

Psst…Victor makes it sound WAY more boring than it actually is. I see that this is because he reuses bland monosyllabic words over and over again in his piece. I’d recommend a thesaurus, which you can also have quite “a great deal of fun with.”

Merry Christmas Cherkids!

December 18, 2008 / Cher Scholar / 10 Comments

This will probably be my last posting before Christmas. And here I wanted to get to the latest Cherity news and some neato blog posts out there. Oh well, maybe in a few weeks we can get to those.

In the meantime, it’s a bit gloomy this year as holidays go: what with nobody having any money, all the financial scams being exposed (in both the private and government sectors), pitiful economy news day after day, shopping homicides (!), less sunlight, post-election withdraw, too many parties and obligations between Thanksgiving and the big day, right-wingers still insisting we all say the word Christmas, Christmas, Christmas 40 times a day because they’re inherently intolerant of sharing their holiday with other belief systems (where is the love, y’all?), a barrage of slashed-priced store sales reminding us how desperate the retail industry is, and my favorite holiday grievance–poorly strewn holiday lights on front lawns. I really hate that. I can’t stress this enough. I think subliminally it makes us all very grouchy. (for an example of bad Christmas decorating, see the Sonny & Cher Show set below; who hung that red garland so sloppily?) And people who can’t manage to string up their lights properly are always too lazy to take said atrocities down in a timely manner–which is January 1st people; it’s why you get the day off.

Day off/Lights off: just remember that.

Here are some Cher-related Christmas activities for you to do this week:

The Mustangs

December 5, 2008 / Cher Scholar / 5 Comments

The Sonny & Cher Ford Mustangs are up for sale again next February, 2009. I’m so glad they never split up these two cars into separate foster homes. But I could swear I’ve seen them come up for sale before, maybe twice – hmmm – maybe it’s the toy model versions I’m thinking of.

Anyway, if during this depression you find yourself with disposable cash for Cher stuff, please give it to Detroit car companies instead or save it to substitute for the next car loan you probably won’t get. Then again, these cars are symbols of The Great American-Made Car. Okay, go ahead and buy them if you must. But only as a political statement.

The car stats:
These cars were customized by George Barris in 1966 and “are rolling tributes to the over-the-top style of the 1960s.” Groovy! You supposedly see them in Good Times but I can’t recall where.

From http://www.edmunds.com/insideline/do/News/articleId=136629:

“The Sonny car has an eye-opening Murano Gold Pearl exterior color, dark brown side panel and orange-and-gold "fadeaway" color treatment on the wheelwells and grille. The Cher car is a Hot Pink Pearl and Candy Red blend with deep red side panels. Should that combination seem too staid, a look at the interior should seal the impression of rococo '60s splendor. Sonny's Mustang has bobcat fur, buffed leather and "rustic suede" trim inside. Cher's is dripping with white ermine, hot pink suede and "Scottish leather" upholstery. Did we mention the 3-inch-long Mouton carpet — gold in the Sonny mobile and pink for Cher's car?”

How to get them:
The cars will go on the block at the Greater Fort Lauderdale/Broward County Convention Center over the weekend of February 6-8.

More on the mustangs: http://www.themustangnews.com/people_08/1208-sonny-cher-mustangs-chambers-133.htm (aww look! They got snowed on!)

More on the model kit: http://www.hieroglyph.net/chermodelkit.html

Happy Dead Turkey Day 2008

November 29, 2008 / Cher Scholar / 0 Comments

Happy Thanksgiving all. My bf and I had dinner with two friends at The Sportsmen's Lodge this year. Which was bittersweet as rumor has it they're tearing it down next year. It was quite a celeb hot spot in the day. However, the only Cher reference I can find now is from the wikipedia page on the place: "Brad St. James and Susi Q (aka the "New" Sonny and Cher) have been the in-house musical entertainment every Friday and Sunday night since 2005."

Anyway, to quickly cap Cher references last week Air America made two Cher that I happened upon. While talking about cheap toys we loved as kids on The Stephanie Miller Show (in honor of this Christmas in a bad economy), someone called in complaining about having the Cher doll and how the hair would always get caught in the quagmire of the eye lashes.

Later in the week on the Rachel Madow show, Andy Borowitz was a guest to talk about Sarah Palin's Thanksgiving thankfullnesses and he commented that Sarah Palin's political career is like Cher's Farewell tour. You can see this joke coming from the horizon line can't you?

Also of note last week, my bf and I took some time recently to play a game of poker with the Cher deck that Cher scholar Eileen was very nice enough to pick up for me at the Cher Caesars store a few months back. Here is the photo essay of our inaugural game.

When I saw the Bette Midler playing cards in the Cher/Midler Caesars store I thought, Cher should have those! And now she does. Quality control comment: the box came unglued immediately. These seem like they were rushed through production. And only the jokes and queens (of course) have Cher photos…but that aside — I LOVE THEM! And no Cher junk trunk would be complete without them.

My bf studies his Cher cards….

Franz watches intently. The tension is high!

I throw down my hand…it looks pretty good, those aces and all.

Oh no…he looks pretty confident. What's he got?

Five Queens?
What the?
God dammit!

The Tour Book

May 30, 2008 / Cher Scholar / 4 Comments

I have to say I loved the program so much I bought two. Recently I’ve heard gossip that the price of the tour book would go up from $35 to $40 and that Cher’s peeps wanted $50 for it but Caesars balked at that. I don’t know if any of this is true. In hard times, $50 seems mighty greedy; on the other hand I’ve bought many a lesser-Cher program for $35. So $35 does seem like a steal. I thought Cher was being generous.

Anyway, this “Vol 1” of a program is mostly a photo retrospective of Cher. Cherworld has some great photos (see left). Apparently, shots of the show have not been taken and published from the show yet. However, the Laverne pics are there. At first glance, I thought they were old TV-show shots and then I noticed it was Cher now. This is a new Laverne and the pics are great; Cher looks enthused.

New pics

I’m not crazy about the cover or the ad assets for this show in general. A boring logo on satin. Eh. Bette’s assets, program etc. are more colorful and playful.
But the pics inside the program are great. The “Goth on Couch” set show Cher both happy and wistful. She is showing emotion. It’s a good thing. Is that her old, 80s chainmail under that new moth-fit?
I love the wigs. I have mentioned that yet?
The new blonde pics must be my fav blonde pics of Cher (and that's not my favorite look). In these, she looks fresh but mature, her eyes stand out, and I love the outfit: rough lace and smooth skirt. The crazy, short-haired one is wonderfully whimsical, Cyndi-Lauper-esque, love the sweater. Cher in a sweater!
Red wig pic – love it!
The hat ones – eh. Love expressions but they are redundant.
Elvira pics – way cool – her lips dark and shapely.
In some new pics, the set is goofy-looking. Is Cher allowed to see the light of day anymore?

Old pics

This program includes a few 60s Vogue shots, new 60s candids (one in the backseat of car in some orange monstrosity-fit – not that that’s a bad thing), Cher holding Chastity during a birthday party – Cher with long red nails, Sonny is a crazy lady-face shirt, more of S&C in front of their awesome Carrolwood Holmby Hills home, Cher all hair in a yellow kitchen (is that kitchen in the Holmby Hills house?), a good current pic of Chas laughing, Sonny & Chas in the pool, S&C in a dressing room, Sonny with a cigarette dangling (love those Sonny cigarette pics – so Hollywood!).

I love, love, love the torch Cher in purple – it’s similar to Dynamite poster – or is it the same one?

Love the backshot of the S&C Show entrance. Chokes me up, it does. Also, love the hole-fit pic. Awesome.

Love the skit shots from the TV shows: Orphan Annie, Marie Antoinette and King Louis XVII (especially since I'm reading about them now in the book Abudnance.

Other stars: Geraldine, Bette (interesting choice, hmmm?), a BeeGee, Tina, Stevie, Gregg, Diana Ross and Elton John.

Question: who is the African-American celebrity in the lower left corner of the TV show friends page?

And here's a quiz:
1. On the movies page – one previously shunned movie is now included; can you name it and name the still-missing movie?

On the albums page – (I always love the record album collage)
2. Can you name the two missing Cher solo albums?
3. What’s the single album cover that has been included?
4. How many compilations albums are listed? (including any re-release)
5. For some reason the Moonstruck soundtrack is included. Which movie soundtracks were released but not included?

The program also includes the lovely Bob Mackie sketches and some backstage photos, mostly of dancers not rehearsing with Cher.

The notes in book are well written by Josiah Howard, more so than other tour books. S&C’s program seemed to be full of fictions (I’d love to review that with anyone, for fun) and as I recall the Believe book had typos. Howard is a biographer of Donna Summer and author of a book on Blacksploitation Cinema. This is interesting as J. Randy Taborelli, who authored one of Cher’s biographies, also primarily concerned himself with black artists such as Diana Ross and Michael Jackson. This leads me to believe that lovers of R&B/Soul artists also dig Cher, which is very kewl.

Interesting accolades in the book
Cher defies classification, she belongs to an exclusive pantheon, she’s outdistanced her contemporaries.
A current list of her dominions includes music, TV, nightclubs, movies, and tours…a.k.a. she is a personality, singer, actress, attraction, and business woman. Did someone forget Superhero?

Interesting facts in the book

“You’ve Lost That Lovin Feeling” – Cher was the only female of five male backup vocalists.
Todd Everett (compilation producer and music historian) is quoted talking about "I Got You Babe": he mentions its “vaulting bridge and false ending” – yeah, would love to ruminate on this – the pause before the end restarts.
Again pointing out S&C had 5 songs on the top 20 – which apparently only The Beatles and Elvis achieved.
The Believe Tour had 121 dates; the Farewell Tour had 325 dates and lasted from June 2002 to April 2005 (by the way, her Vegas Run is now set to last 200 shows over 3 years).
Patti was on every tour since 1988.
Doriana Sanchez helped conceive the show and is listed as director and choreographer.
Paul Mirkovich is back as Musical Director, Mark Schulman on drums (only interesting to me because I felt he did very well), David Barry is back on guitars. He always cracks me up with his guitar-hero moves.
Popular with Cher fans, Bubba Carr is listed for choreography and as dance captain. My high school friend Nellie is a Vegas dancer and was once dance captain for a Harrah’s show she headlined. Do you think Bubba makes the dancers do weigh-ins?
Dan-o-Rama is back for clip remixes; they always do a great job.
Renate Leuschner is back for wigs again…she is a master at her trade. Never lets us down. Don’t forget she taught Teri Garr how to speak faux German for Young Frankenstein.
Liz Rosenberg is listed as publicist via Warner Bros. Is Cher still with WB? Liz, can you help us getting the lost albums re-released?
Surprisingly, sound is still run by Clair Bros in Lititz, PA, which is my parents very tiny hometown on the outskirts of Lancaster, PA, or Amish Country. Isn’t that funny a major technology company is nestled in Amish Country?
The Puppet Studio is in North Hollywood. I loved that Village People puppet. Have I mentioned that yet?

The Cher Boutique

May 30, 2008 / Cher Scholar / 0 Comments

I did not spend my life’s savings in this store. It was a good store but not filled with the same wacky, fun items as the Barry Manilow store so I was able to keep some of my cash for a wedding dress.

However, the Cher Boutiques does sell the same cheap t-shirts that only last for one washing. The t-shirts sold in the theater lobby are actually a better quality. By the way, the items in the lobby are different than the boutique. So check them both out.

So, as you may have heard, Cher shares a store with Bette Midler. Is this fair? Elton gets his own store? Can Bette and Cher co-exist this way? My bf remarked that Bette’s items are more cabaret and Cher is more rock-chick. I know that idea probably is what Cher is going for but I honestly wish Cher would be more cabaret. Cher-fans circa the 1970s so loved her TV show cabaret, we can’t ever get over it?

The store was surprisingly neat and pristine. This is no” messy icon” store. Lots of expensive candles and jewelry that is not my thing. No potpourri rocks so we couldn’t exclaim as my bf’s mom once did: “I don’t want to smell Cher’s rocks!” You’d think that wouldn’t make sense but it kinda would.

My bf preferred the cool rock-chick Cher merchandise to Bette’s but agreed that Bette has better ads. Overall, the Barry Manilow store is more fun, more warm and fan-friendly. And he sells hilarious stuff like wine. Can we get some Cher booze? Manilow also sells purses made out of his old record albums. Bette did offer the Bette playing cards. I wish Cher had some of those.

I asked the elderly Cher store clerk who rang me up how sales had been going. He said they sell out every night. Mostly because 44k fans cram in before and after every show and they're looking for a keepsake. He called it crazy and insane. So busy “we wouldn’t be having this conversation” he said. I asked him if the Cher or Bette items sold better. Ever the politician, he said fans didn’t care, they all just wanted something. But that the CD and program outsell everything. He said they overstock every morning and restock the entire store every night. There were about 15-20 peeps in there when I was milling around. This was a Friday night when there was no show. I asked my Vegas-dancer friend Nellie why there was no show on a Friday night and she said Vegas casinos had all sorts of statistics about what night to go dark due to probable lack of sales; and common wisdom suggested Fridays were mostly traveling days for tourists still moseying into town.

This is what I bought (if I can remember – it’s all already been tagged, filed and boxed in the Cher Scholar vaults).

2 tour books
The compilation CD – which is a complete rehash of The Very Best of Cher but with a new Vegas-ad outer shell. This is not quite scandelous fan-scam shenanigans however. The cover is very forthright about its rehashitude. The CD was not made for fans but Vegas tourists
A candle (total impulvise last minute grab)
3 magnets: Chelvis, Half Breed and one of the springy ones
A keychain with the 60s logo
Three poor-quality but cool looking t-shirts
2 glasses with leopard print bottoms that I can’t wait to serve my parents their beers in
And a water bottle – do Cher fans camp?

Cher Scholar’s Pics from Vegas

May 23, 2008 / Cher Scholar / 0 Comments

Cher Scholar visits Las Vegas. See the pics.

Kid in a Toystore

May 15, 2008 / Cher Scholar / 1 Comment

I am not even going to pretend I can talk about anything else this week but that fact that I’m going to see a new (hopefully new?!) Cher show this weekend in Vegas which means I’m expecting an awesome marquee and oh God….the Cher store – I can’t even imagine what Cher crap apropos of nothing I’ll find there! I am like a kid in a toy store, a toy store of all Cher toys!! Wait….I think I may be starting to hyperventilate. Don’t tell my mother!

My Pavlov’s dog response to Cher product is disturbing on many levels. Main thing being I’ll be 40 next year. I’m too old for this. I am a grown up, I swear it! I’ve been making the argument for who will be president next year for about 9 months now and I’ve stopped letting American Idol eat away at my life’s precious hours. Surely, that proves something. (Although I do like the David’s a lot.)

To prove to you that I am a grownup with other interests this week besides the new Cher stuff (!!), here is a list of 10 other things I care about right now besides the Caesar’s Palace Cher Store:

My processional wedding music. My bf nixed my first choice, “Jerusalem” by Herb Albert. I can’t do something as high-energy as I think he would like (I’m just too contemplative and low key) and I hate that Here Comes the Bride Wedding March. But don’t suggest I “process” to Cher music because that would make Cher Scholar’s mother cry.
Although…I would like to find a dance re-mix of “Gypsys Tramps and Thieves” for the reception cos we need a good Cher song to dance to from the 70s…but I’m Cher-gressing again!
Winning trivia last night at Kings Head pub in Santa Monica. We came and we clobbered. We squashed all the other teams the first time we played a year ago but we had a new team this time and I was worried that the Europeans on it would show up late. They’re on EPT you know: European People’s Time. As it was, we had the start time wrong and so at 30 and 50 minutes late, they still made it on time. And were very helpful to our clobberings.
Ordering Audio-Visual equipment for my parent’s reunion & 50th anniversary in 6 weeks. My father and brother have made DVD home movies to show and my father made me record myself reading a poem my grandmother’s sister wrote which was a huge crisis for me because every time I played it back I got hysterical when I realized I have been developing Richard Nixon jowls. My bf eventually had to tape it for me.
Showing my bf the great state of New Mexico soon, specifically Albuquerque and Santa Fe. We’re driving out from LA because we can’t afford airline prices right now…even with our $100 vouchers. He loves Arizona; just wait til he sees NM.
Teaching our furkid Franz how to roll over. He’s acting very put out about it.
Learning the brave new world of Microsoft Office 2007 products which are suddenly on my new work computer. I can’t find clippy! Actually to be honest with you, I’m happy clippy is dead. I just want to be able to find the Thesaurus again.
My Dad’s birthday is Monday and I don’t think he’ll like the gift I sent him via Amazon. But really, he’s unnecessarily hard to shop for and he never tells me whether he likes my gifts anyway.
I start a new ceramics class in June and the bf and I start yoga next week! Whoo hoo! Not even wedding plans can keep me from the mud.
The Edgar Winter Dog’s birthday party is coming in a few weeks. I was thinking of either getting him doggie sunscreen (cos he’s an albino) or poop freeze that I saw in the Skymall catalog on the way to Paris.

I’m off the see the wizard. We’ll talk on the other side.

What Shall We Talk About?

May 8, 2008 / Cher Scholar / 4 Comments

Okay…so the big day arrived this week and reviews are literally pouring in on Cher’s Caesar Place show. I don’t want to read them until I see the show next week. I don’t even want to look too hard at the photos. I don’t want to discuss the new stuff until I see it. Which is extremely, extremely hard!

In fact, for any of the other tours (there have only been three I’ve been able to see live in my lifetime – Heart of Stone, Believe, and Never Can Say Goodbye), I’ve never been able to resist. And I’m getting very, very excited about seeing the show and reading over everybody’s thoughts. I just hope I don’t get hit by a bus before I can see it! (I always think that right before new Cher product drops).

In fact, I don’t feel like talking about anything else but this thing I can’t talk about!!

But I did post my France pics and here are the Cher-centric ones:

John on the Seine like that Sonny & Cher album back cover pic.

Don’t these chateaux entryways look like Cher’s house??

I can totally see why Cher wants to be buried at Pere LaChaise cemetery in Paris. It’s very goth. I can see her with a tomb not unlike the one above, but hopefully with some subtle half-breed design in the stained glass…hey, for the fans.

Cher river, Cher valley, Cher county seat…lots of Cherness in the Loire Valley.

I can also take this time to answer a few Cher questions from the blog.

Jimmy wrote:

“AND, Mary, why haven’t you digressed about the fact that these unlikely 3 would do something together so out-of-line for their personalities???? love and kisses-jimmy”

Jimmy is right. I could easily do an essay about the old 70s-variety format and how we just don’t get miraculous celebrity combinations singing medleys apropos of nothing like we did back in the day. It’s heartbreaking because I’d watch any show that could convince Bono to sing a Madonna medley with Barney and Tiger Woods. Who wouldn’t watch that?? It’s TV Gold.

Michael asked:

“Okay, so combining “she’s overdue a juicy boxed-set” and “It’s my dream job really”…How about you tell us what you would put in the ultimate Cher box? Anything you ever wanted on CD, DVD, books, whatever. I’m totally curious what you’d put.

There’s so much I could do as curator of a Chersonian Institute. Really, I don’t know where to start. Her video collection needs a serious overhaul. More and more we’re finding amazing gems of foreign video clips for old Cher hits on the you-tubes.

I haven’t wrapped my head around what a good box-set of CDs would be. I know the mix I normally make my friends has too many non-hits on it to ever make bank. Other than the obvious of doing notes for the four-CD Warner Bros 1975-1977 re-release collection we’re so overdue, I don’t know what other regurgitation of her greatest hits I would feel morally okay with dumping into the pile of too-many-already.

I would love to do a coffee-table book of photographs and essays compiled by various writers on Cher’s career and her cultural relevance. That would be the dreamiest.

Category: Cher Product (Page 5 of 8)

Cher and The Ugly Duckling

Collecting Cher

Merry Christmas Cherkids!

The Mustangs

Happy Dead Turkey Day 2008

The Tour Book

The Cher Boutique

Cher Scholar’s Pics from Vegas

Kid in a Toystore

What Shall We Talk About?

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