a division of the Chersonian Institute

Category: Cher Product (Page 8 of 8)

Return of the Dolls!!

Ringleader_1Speaking of why I’m not rich yet. I’m trying to earmark $300 of my future earnings for three new Cher dolls soon to hit the store. I hope I won’t have to pay $50 each, but this is what underground dolls sites are asking for the dolls in pre-orders. Yes, I will get two dolls each for the future Chersonian Institute – one to be MIB (mint in box) and one to pose in the outer-box universe.

Barbie and Mattel sites show no signs of these new creatures set to arrive in June or July. But I’m very excited about the prospect. As we know, the 90s Bob Mackie doll left much to be desired; if the doll didn’t have the word ‘Cher’ emblazoned on the box cover we probably would have thought it was Phoebe Cates. Sure, it was fun to see Will and Grace promoting the doll on their show, but it was hard to get over the fact that the doll didn’t really look like Cher (even with her new nose). Some more artistic fans repainted the doll’s face to look more like her. Drastic measures – but I understand completely understand.

Sqaw1_2Halfbreed2The outfits are looking up this time around. One doll is quaffed in the ringleader ensemble, the new and fabulous outfit representing Cher’s 3-year historic farewell tour in America and Europe. Another doll is decked out as V.2 of Half Breed. This is a recreation from the 70s half breed fit and a scrubbed up retread, but it’s surely Cher’s most representative outfit from the 70s decade. But here is where things get really good: an 80s outfit. Encroyable! And the doll Gods have picked the hole fit!! Can you believe it?. This is big news because it elevates this mostly-ignored but oft-worn and re-designed hole-strewn uni-tard up to the iconic status it so deserves. Check out Ape Culture and scroll to the bottom of the concert review to view a retrospective of the hole fit as it has evolved throughout modern times.Holedoll_1

My fingers are itching on my wallet to purchase these babes. If only I could find out when Target will get their shipment? O’ where can I go in the free market to buy my Cher dolls? Stay tuned…the summer promises many good things: the last Harry Potter novel and now this!

You can see the new doll prototypes at these sites (just plug ‘cher’ in the search box).

goantiques.com
guyzanddollz.com
islandofdolls.com

Cher Spaces

Chersite Rumor had it that Cher.com officially sanctioned the news about Cher replacing Celine Dion at Caesars Palace in Vegas next year. Although I dreaded doing it, I visited Cher.com to see if this was true. Almost immediately I was reminded why I never visit this official Cher website. There’s been no news update since her auction last year, and certainly no mention of any upcoming Vegas deal, upcoming album, upcoming movie, or links to Cher causes so fans can join the bandwagon and donate, or any other such things that a fan of a major celebrity website might expect. There’s even a broken link in the main navigation to the Cher store. A broken main navigation link!  What a ghost-town this site is!

Cher’s official site has always been high on effects and low on content. The maddening thing is that this is also what the public-at-large has accused Cher herself of being: all fluff and no substance. Well, the site subliminally confirms. As usual, I am frustrated in three minutes and I leave in a huff.

One of Cher’s great strengths is that she resists a kind of Dolly-Parton type of Unchanging Presence. I love Dolly, don’t get me wrong; but Dolly has habits of image that have stuck years upon years. Cher re-invents and this is why she is so representative of her time, decade after decade. But unfortunately that kind of skill of habit is what you need to run a decent web site.

Crappy site or not, Cher fans are very loyal. It’s a very unrequited relationship: “Rejection always was our bitter pill.” Getting information out to the fans is a low priority and the site would be a ghost-town except for its still-active forums, which on Cher.com can be a veritable insane asylum.

So there’s been recent talk among fans about Cher having a MySpace page at www.myspace.com/cherdotcom. Is it fer real? The big yahoo Cher group has been debating the issue. Here are my two wooden nickels on the subject:

Yes it is?
Because Cher.com is a lonely place without Cher actually being there, we’d love to believe Cher has an active Myspace page and this page is definitely friendlier than Cher.com , certainly with a lot of words and links splashed around. What I hate about MySpace is the messiness of the layout and complete absence of any information architecture. Everyone looks like a maniacal ego trip in two columns — with or without some zany background tile. This is why I have yet to join Myspace (along with my general dislike of joining things). It’s hard to read.

Can we image Cher devoting her time to a Myspace page? I would more likely believe it if someone in her entourage advised her of its marketing advantages, (they’re so popular with the kids and all), and she decided to relegate it to some under-appreciated, over-worked, personal assistant underling. This Myspace page reflects a more low-key Cher and definitely hits upon her up-to-date interests, unlike the web site: Harley motorcycles, the men of the US armed forces, and a corner of memorial space for Sonny Bono.

But no it isn’t!
There’s just something in the “About Me” section that seems off-tone. Cher describes herself as a “mature actress.” Mature is not a word I’ve ever heard Cher use to describe herself. Then the page incorrectly claims Cher won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Silkwood. She didn’t win that award. Linda Hunt did. It’s very hard to swallow the idea that Cher or any Cher peon would forget how many Oscar’s she had. Also, the home page pictures are not personal or rare;  they’re all news photos, something any fan could grab off the Internet. I can’t access the photo album or blog; but I’m tempted to join just to get a peek at them. On the Yahoo group, one fan doubted this site’s authenticity, commenting that official Myspace pages generally have a music player at page top (see Taylor Hicks’ official page). This proves legitimacy apparently because one has to be certified as themselves before installing such a player.

But yet it could be…
Well, if you’ve been a fan of Cher for a long time you know that sloppiness isn’t a stranger to Cher product from time to time. So unfortunately that doesn’t rule her out. Peons do make mistakes after all, player installations could be too much of a hassle, and since when has the Cher camp actively promoted any Cher music but what has been on the store shelves for under 6 months. Besides, in Cher’s Friends’ Comments, Tommy R. of Malt from Shoppe Productions seems to think the space is real.

So Cher sites, real or not, give us no reliable link to Cher news. Even the official fan page has been deserted of late. It’s a pity. I guess until those hot little Vegas tickets show up on the Caesars Palace or ticket bastard websites, I will never feel sure Cher will indeed replace Celine Dion. I mean just because Liz Smith writes about it: it aint necessarily so. In Cherworld, that’s just a declaration of intent.

But I will be happily surprised when the time comes to shell out hundreds of dollars for a new Vegas Cher show. Seriously. I’m not being facetious. Well, not entirely. I’ve always wanted to see Cher in Vegas. I just thought I’d be a rich adult when the time came.

   

Review of The Ground Truth

Overview
First of all, let me explain my bias: I am a peace-loving, anti-war-nick. I would be the last person to join the armed forces. I protested the Iraq war in an unlikely, Los Angeles rainstorm four years ago before the war started. To be specific, I am anti-war-of-aggression. This war for oil qualifies as such. But I am not against peace-keeping missions. I understand the necessity of the armed forces and appreciate the immense sacrifices soldiers make on behalf of a country we all love. Soldiers do what we all collectively as a society ask them to do.

I watched The Ground Truth with a close friend who has worked closely with the Veterans Administration and who thoroughly understands the VA claims process. He has special knowledge of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) conditions and I asked him to bring his experiences to bear on the points of this movie. However, I want to be clear that this person is not a spokesperson for the VA.

It took us four hours to watch and talk about this film. The running time is only 1 hour,18 minutes. But we talked about until 1 a.m.

The Best Parts
A large chunk of the film is about soldiers struggling with PTSD. My friend is personally tied to this issue as he had a family member struggle with this disorder and the situation had a life-altering impact on his family. These PTSD stories are ultimately the most moving portion of the film.

The film also reminds us the war vets are all around us and we often fail to notice. One soldier said, “You don’t see us because we don’t talk about it.”

There’s a chilling poem about PTSD in the movie: "live wire snap" by mos def and a moving song by Tom Waits, “The Day After Tomorrow.” Ironically my Dad sent me this song from The Daily Show web page the same day I discovered it in the movie.

The Architecture of the Film
I’ve seen many documentaries; so it’s hard not to comment on how they handle their subjects. I never knew what this documentary wanted to be. And I really couldn’t see any organizing principle. The movie touched on so many topics related to the soldier experience; but nothing was ever handled in depth and I was never sure what the take-home message was for each issue.

We started with recruiting and the idealist soldier falling for the false advertising by recruiters. I was disappointed we only received sound-bites about aggressive recruiting tactics, hearsay from the soldiers. What makes a Michael Moore movie so effective is that he shows the villain caught in the act. In his documentary, Fahrenheit 9/11, we see military recruiters doing the dirty deeds and it’s so much more powerful.

The movie then discusses soldier training/brainwashing and ‘The Killing Indoctrination’ which shows how the ancient War Cry is used to fortify troop resolve. David Grossman discusses the psychological issues of learning to kill. See his book “On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Killing In War and Society”. The psychological and biological angle of killing and learning to dominate others were fascinating, but there was frustratingly little of this.

I did come to see that the real courage of soldiering isn’t the actual killing. Courage comes into play when a soldier needs to reacclimate himself to civilian life and process his war-time experience after coming home. 

But it’s not news that war is a sinister job, and one that requires the Devil’s tactics. Can I really say I watched this segment and was surprised by the barbarity of war? No.

The film then speaks about the ‘crisis of purpose’ soldiers feel in Iraq after a traumatic event. “What are we doing here?” They must know the military-shtick: we’re there to restore order and/or to preserve our access to oil, yada yada yada. You have to think this must be a spiritual questioning occuring. But is this a crisis-questioning derived from PTSD or were these soldiers truly all conscientious objectors who find the blood for oil mission essentially unsavory? Either answer is okay; but the film is too vague about this point…until the end when you realize the bulk of the participants are soldiers actively protesting the war.

Soldiers talk at length about civilian casualties, which leads directly into their issues of PTSD. At this point I thought the exploration of PTSD was the point of the film. It definitely could have been. My friend thought this segment was a good representation of PTSD symptoms and experiences. One vet claimed to have been denied help from a psychologist who labeled him a conscientious objector. My friend said he had never experienced or heard of any claims specialist who would respond this way to a Vet; but my friend did say that every organization, business, or social program has their share of bad eggs who respond inappropriately. 

The movie leaves PTSD and quickly covers issues regarding the return home and the bureaucracy of the benefits process. We end with a segment called ‘Hope’ showing the documentary’s Vet at peace rallies.

The Agenda
The veterans groups who supported this movie as listed in the credits were all groups against the war or vets with a peace agenda. There’s no problem with this; but the documentary poses as one without any agenda. The quotes and the stories featured however show a clear subliminal anti-war agenda. Why be so demure?

This war is different than Vietnam in that there is no draft. Men and women volunteer to join. They are ultimately responsible for their free choices. Some, not all Vets, have regrets about their choice to join the service. This film choses to show only vets who felt betrayed and bamboozled. The documentary does not show opposing arguments, which are crucial for any truly balanced “non-agenda” piece and are also highly useful in any pro-agenda argument: show the opposing view and then break off its leg. Ultimately, giving the opposition no say often gives them an unspoken power. If this film is trying to say the military is a bad choice for all men and women, just say it. Instead we get half-told and hearsay stories like “my comrades made these war slurs,” and “the VA counselor told me this.” It’s a basic rule of arguments and storytelling: show don’t tell. Show the evidence. Like Michael Moore, show the villains and let them hang themselves.

Most film-makers have some kind of subconscious agenda anyway. You really have to work hard to prove you don’t, bend over backwards by showing all sides.

The film ends with Camilo Mejia, who served in prison for his objections to the war, asking soldiers to risk jail time and conscientiously object by dissenting given orders. These are the final words of the film.

The End Tragedy
Personally, I respect what Camilo did. But to place this as the take-home message of the entire film was chilling. Asking soldiers to bulk all that training/brainwashing they’ve gone through (which is necessary for their very survival) and then object? Why put the final burden on the soldier to dissent? Why add more stress on him? Why put this on their souls as well?

Why not lay the responsibility where it truly deserves to be placed: with us. It is ultimately our responsibility as citizens to a) prevent these kinds of wars of aggression from happening and  b) to get them resolved quickly when they start. Congress, Congress, Congress: we elect them, we pressure them, we protest their policies. We educate ourselves on the issues. Start with experts in the Middle East crisis. I’d like to take this opportunity to plug the books on Iraq by a professor at my alma matter, Sarah Lawrence, Fawaz A. Gerges.

I can see why the military wouldn’t want to distribute this film, beyond being legally prevented from doing so. It’s like asking General Motors to distribute a message to their employees about quitting and going to work for Toyota. Wrong or not, why expect them to self-sabotage? But also, the final take home message just isn’t fair. It victimizes the soldier all over again by making it his problem to stop the war. Indirectly, we can then blame him all over again when he can’t object and the war continues.

Claims About VA Claims
The real reason I wanted my friend to watch this film in the first place was to evaluate the claims about the VA. My friend works 6 days a week for vets and knows the VA process. Many claims processors are vets themselves who care about the Vet’s claims and are committed to getting money out to them.

The VA problem is two fold: the system is swamped with claims and the U.S. Congress sets the laws on vet disabilities which the VA is bound to follow. When a new kind of ailment arises, my friend admits the delay in benefits sucks; but regulations are set by Congress and it takes them sometimes years to approve new benefits. Add to this the fact that laws are sometimes complicated. It’s easy for a vet to hear something and get confused.

This is where The Ground Truth is at its weakest. Presenting Vet’s hearsay on the claims process just spreads misinformation and exacerbates the suffering. False facts also weaken the validity of the film. Michael Moore would have secured the impossible interview and talked to a representative at the VA.

My friend weighs in on these pieces of misinformation:
-It’s not true that vets must claim all their problems within in 2 years. They can file at any time. It may take years for their ailments to surface.

-It’s not true that the VA diagnoses Vets as bi-polar to avoid making awards for PTSD. The VA can’t deny a claim unless every means has been made to identify the PTSD cause as service related. Some Vets were angry having been diagnosed as bi-polar or with behavioral disorders. You can still have PTSD and get compensation, even if you are diagnosed as bi-polar. One diagnosis doesn’t officially negate the other.

-It’s not true that the VA holds up claims waiting for vets to go back into battle or die first. However, it is true that the VA is swamped and inefficient. And adjusters suffer their own internal frustrations with the bureaucracy.

My friend and I agreed a more useful documentary would show the VA claims experience from all sides, explore why it takes so freakin long to get claims resolved so Congress will let the VA hire more adjusters.

Conclusions
The film did a disservice to vets by reinforcing myths about the VA. These factual errors also raise questions about the film’s thoroughness. When you choose to showcase certain comments which the film makes no attempt to verify, it looks not only like an agenda-film but a lazy one.

As for PTSD, my friend says it’s only been in last five years that soldiers are being treated for this disorder at all. Clearly there’s more to do, but the strides have been immense. Much more information is now available to help Vets and their families recognize the symptoms.

If this film makes you appreciate PTSD issues more, it’s worth watching. If the intent of the film was simply that, we could have gone deeper and ended on a more helpful action item. One solder did gave one piece of practical advice: “I’d rather hear Welcome Home than Thank You.”

That said, a really balanced piece about the whole Vet experience would have shown more sides and more soldiers speaking on all issues raised. The film hand-picked soldiers with PTSD and soldiers with lingering anti-war feelings – a small and absolute sample slanted to an anti-war agenda. Time Magazine calls the film implicitly anti-war – which is fine. So why pretend otherwise?

This is not to take anything away from those who are supporting the movie. These are just my opinions. I find the film important in some areas, but essentially an imperfect thing. I do feel strongly that the final take-aways should be these:

To Soldiers: apply for benefits at any time. Mistakes happen. You may get a bad claims specialist. You may have to appeal a ruling. It’s worth trying. It will take a long time; but there are many people at the VA who will exhaust every avenue to get you money. There are also veteran’s outreach groups out there who will help you navigate the VA process so you don’t have to do it alone.

To Non-Soldiers: Are you willing to pay more taxes to get claims processed faster? You should vote that way. Call your congressmen.  Ask them to evaluate the claims process. Get active. Protest the war or offer solutions. All hands on deck.

More Poems About the War Experience
Here, Bullet Poems by Brian Turner

   

Battle of the Brows

Prococcini I met Lisa Manzi last spring in Colrain, Massachusetts. We were both attending the Colrain Poetry Manuscript Conference in a B&B where we slept in cubbyholes accessible only by stepladders. We also had dinner conversations with up-and-coming poets, many whom were trying to prove they were the Alpha Poet. (This means you’ve read more poetry than anyone else and feel pretty darn smug about it.) It was during one of these dinners that I learned Lisa was a) a person who had varied interests in non-poetry-type things (ex. pop culture) and b) she was also an art appraiser by trade. So I emailed her after the auction and asked her what she thought of Sinatraneiman Cher’s art sales, specifically why the highbrow Procaccini picture (lot #43) didn’t hit its estimated price of $30-50,000 and sold for only $25,000 and the lowbrow LeRoy Neiman did so well, estimated at $4-6,000 and selling for $40,000. Lisa said the Procaccini was hurt by Sotheby’s listing; collectors would see it and figure Sotheby’s did not support the attribution (that it was a real Procaccini). She said however, that the Neiman sale price was good, that his stuff is hard to sell because they all look so similar and are there are so many.
 

Cher Leaves Elton John Auction in Roll of Dust

Armidillo_lamp Recently Elton John emptied out his closets for $1.67 million. My KISS-loving friend, Ape Culture co-editor, Julie Wiskirchen, challenged Cher to meet the KISS auction total of $1.6 million a few years ago. Cher’s total hit $3.5 million. Once again, Cher kicked some serious buttage. Her Bentley was reported to be the highest sale. One fan bought three TV show dresses: the cream Titanic dress she wore to the Academy Awards, the Dark Lady dress and the Laverne fit. For them all, he spent over $40,000. Julie and I continued our IM conversation during Wednesday’s auction. Instead of summarizing it, I’ll give you the highlights below. A word regarding our IM handles: they both pertain to ridiculous scandals involving our respective celebrity obsessions.

OzzyBat: yo rib

RemovedCherRib: yo bat

OzzyBat: how is day 2 of the auction

RemovedCherRib: some fans think the big costume bidders are Hard Rock Cafe

OzzyBat: they bought a lot of kiss stuff

RemovedCherRib: a sketch just sold for 7k… the exact amount that the actual costume sold for

OzzyBat: Cher’s dictionary is coming up…i bet its never been opened….Now this is cool… lot 681….taxidermied armadillo lamp…given to cher by gene simmons!! That’s so funny – i thought it way cool before i even saw that…i might spend spend for that conversation piece

RemovedCherRib: the pugin stuff is going now…not outrageously

OzzyBat: what do you think that lamp will go for? it’s ugly – i cant imagine anyone other than me wanting it

RemovedCherRib: i don’t know but that’s the lamp i took a picture of Christopher cocking his head over wondering what it was…Gothic Ornaments is up…Gothic dog costumes must be next

OzzyBat: the wigs are coming up…the hummer is the final item…who will have 80k left by then for it? Imagine cher’s reaction to the armadillo lamp:  "genie, you’re crazy – shannon, you can have him"

RemovedCherRib: Georgeanne…can you put this somewhere?

OzzyBat: Elijah: "that’s wicked!

OzzyBat: i wish there was a booby doll from witches…especially the giant one

RemovedCherRib: 81 is up next…the dictionary

OzzyBat: i’m watching

OzzyBat: sure you dont want if for xmas?

RemovedCherRib: no… i’d rather have cher dolls for my tree

OzzyBat: geez nevermind anyway – $375!…$2,000 for a gothic furniture book? Geez. i guess i dont have a prayer for the lamp…the kids-size cher show jacket is coming up. $425? – do they know its a kids jacket? Sold for $1,050 – a tiny jacket o’ nylon

RemovedCherRib: these sketeches kill me, they aren’t even memorable dresses some of them…the carol burnette and charo ones are coming up…i’m curious to see what will happen

OzzyBat: $3,750 for the disco dress  – that was a cool one. This reminds me of the old SNL sketch with jon lovitz as Picasso. He kept scribbling on napkins and things and declaring "i’m picasso!" Like every scribble he made was worth millions….this purse up now may be the ugliest one ive ever seen in my life

RemovedCherRib: laverne is up to 9k

OzzyBat: could you write behind that desk? i would be too depressed…lot 550 – another depressingly dark gothic furniture item

OzzyBat: floor bidder slits wrist

OzzyBat: internet bidder hangs self

OzzyBat: internet bidder throws self down stairs

RemovedCherRib: internet bidder bangs head against keyboard and accidentally bids 3 thousand dollars

OzzyBat: floor bidder vincent libretti cashes in 401k to buy laverne fit

OzzyBat: floor bidder says "it gets me off"

RemovedCherRib: pugins bed is up now…the one andrew lloyd weber wanted

OzzyBat: i’m watching

RemovedCherRib: i wonder if anyone was allowed to sleep in such an expensive bed

OzzyBat: the bed is approaching the value of my dads condo….sold to lloyd webber!….cuz who else could spend 70k on a bed?

OzzyBat: has anything gone for less than 500 today?

RemovedCherRib: one of the purses went for 450….some shoes

RemovedCherRib: the last sketch I liked is going out of range…i like it cos it has cher scribbled by Mackie but is a short hair version of her the Take it To the Limit outfit i really liked from Celebration at Caesars….it’s like a hole fit but it’s a white hole shirt….Sold for $3,750…sigh…

RemovedCherRib: According to a Yahoo news report only 200 people were there bidding on the floor yesterday [there were up to 4,500 approved bidders overall.]…According to Yahoo: "[people] chuckled as the auctioneer [Hugh Hildesley] offered his own observations of taste, describing a yellow [it was really orange] plastic portable record player, circa 1976 as a ‘thing of beauty.’ It sold for $1400."

RemovedCherRib: Penelope and the suitors painting went for $60,000

RemovedCherRib: the second hole fit went for $50,000! Gosh! The fit christopher called the sausage arm one

OzzyBat: these bids dont seem to be getting lower…i guess i dont have a prayer of getting the lamp…it’s an important piece of KISStory

RemovedCherRib: it’s coming up

RemovedCherRib: it’s up

OzzyBat: sadness…i was the two internet bidders way back before 400

RemovedCherRib: $3500!

RemovedCherRib: ridikilous

OzzyBat: insanity

RemovedCherRib: the worlds gone mad

OzzyBat: i’m devastated…all day i was thinking how cool that would look in the living room…"oh you’re admiring my armadillo lamp? let me tell you the story…"

RemovedCherRib: seriously though, it would frighten people

OzzyBat: it would, but i liked that about it…it’s the only thing in the auction that was really me…besides the bentley of course….cuz thats how i roll

First the Wig and Now This

The auction has been burgled. Just when you thought this free and open society thing was working. But seriously, this is no joke. Fellow scholar Javier Ozuna was asked yesterday by Julien’s Auctions and Sotheby’s to get the word out in case someone visits a Cher friend in the next few days and sees a continental cold-painted bronze figural lamp (lot #626) sitting on a TV tray. The estimated height is 19 inches and the value is estimated at: $800-1200. Now, don’t steal it from the thief! I know it’s tempting to develop an insatiable need to have something you never really wanted two days ago. But contact the auction houses immediately. You can’t run from the law forever. Trust me; that’s no life. Apparently the bandit entered the ladies room and removed the tag there, which was all caught on camera by security. There’s a security camera in the ladies room??? I guess we can all assume our our perp is a chick. Or Eddie Izzard.

You can view the auction live today and tomorrow.   

The Bidders are Coming! The Bidders are Coming!

AuctionsignsmThe Cher Auction is upon us! This means both Crazy Queens and Senseless Straighties will be coming out of the woodwork to try and finagle a nappy wig once worn by Cher. Are you absolving yourself? Or are you all a fluster such as when it was 10 am and time to log on to ticketbastard in search of floor seats each time a final farewell date was announced? Will you have to mistype “mytsmerf” three times in a panic? 

   

You still have time to search your soul: to bid or not to bid. But remember, Julien’s auction house requires that you pre-register with them to participate. Get forms from their website. And if you plan to bid from home on Ebay Live, you have to pre-register there as well.

   

But hey, who am I to judge? I still haven’t decided whether I’m going to pay my health insurance this month or buy me some Cher shoes. Where did I put my priorities? I know they’re around here somewhere. Stay tuned to find out what embarrassing thing I do…and to chat about the fan controversy surrounding the dissemination of Cher couture unto the masses.

    

After my visit to The Beverly Hilton Friday, September 29, 2006, to see the auction preview, I wrote a story for Ape Culture. I saw a very popular Cher impersonator there and some friendly Cher fan faces. I also took many photos and included some pix included in the press packet CD, which I’m sure you’ve already seen ‘cos you’ve bought your auction catelogues like superfans!

   

There are also some good pictures of auction items on Getty Images.

   

 

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