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Category: Music (Page 34 of 34)

Jackson Highway Album of the Day

Jackson Happily last week Cher’s album 3614 Jackson Highway was album of the day on the fabulous music site Allmusic.

Here’s their detailed review by Lindsay Planer which was quite positive. They give it 3.5 out of 4 stars and label it "earthy, intimate, ambitious, mellow and gritty."

Doubly happily you can learn more about Cher’s band for the album, The Swampers.

Here’s the clincher quote:

"…closer examination reveals that not only does Cher have soul, but The Swampers are the quintessential foil for her decidedly unique style. Like soul-music serpent charmers, they summon from Cher the most authentic, if not interesting work she has been responsible for."

 

I’m in Mashup Heaven

Geeze Louise! Pinch me!

  • REM vs. Cher by DJ Schmolli – "Losing My Believe"
       
  • Sex Pistols vs. Cher by Go Home Productions – "No Feelings 4 Cher" Allegedy this mashup "received the "full blessing" of both parties (or, in the former case, Pistols guitarist Steve Jones)." Found on the EP Pistol Whipped with  other Sex Pistols mash-ups (including the  Madonna Pistol Mash "Ray of Gob."
       
  • R.I.P. Mashup: Cher vs. Echo & the Bunnymen doing "I Believe in Killing Time" Message on the site from Mark Vidler: "Am I still allowed to mention this track? Was bloody pleased with this pairing and still listen to this one occasionally. Several months after making it available I was kindly asked by Echo & The Bunnymens people to remove it from the website. I politely obliged.  August 2002" Pansy-assed dolts.
       
  • There are so many mashups in this one…I’m dizzy. Whitney Houston vs. Madonna vs. Cher in a "Believe" "Live a Virgin" "Somebody Who Loves Me" mashup called "Believe Somebody" by DJ Earworm      
     
  • Alice Deejay vs.Cher doing "This is a Song for Those Who Are Better Off Alone" by Savvy DJ.

 

Cher Listed Among the Best Bob Dylan Covers

Bobdylancher Now this is good news indeed! If only I understood how she made the list. Steve Meacham, a writer for the Syndey Morning Herald in Australia, recently posted a list of his favorite Bob Dylan covers. (Thank you Chergoup on Yahoo!, yet again, for the link).

Two things irk me about this article. One, his web links are wrong. He points us to dylancovers.com which is just a landing page with Google ads. The  database of Dylan covers is at http://www.bjorner.com/covers.htm. This site is actually pretty cool. At a glance you can see Dylan’s amazing influential reach. The site also correctly identifies Cher’s whopping ten Dylan covers spanning a mere five years (http://www.bjorner.com/artistc.htm#_Cher) …although technically Cher renamed "Lay Lady Lay" to "Lay Baby Lay," and "Tonight I’ll Be Staying Here with You" (one of my favorites) is listed twice erroneously due to a compilation being taken into account. If we were to count Cher compilations, all the songs would be listed about 100 times. This site has this same problem with other artists, as well.

But back to Meacham’s piece…I doubt he’s heard every single Dylan cover under the sun. Yet he still comes up with a list that is basically the most successful and high-profile of the bunch. He doesn’t come up with much rationale for why he picks the the versions he picks (for instance choosing Neil Young & Crazy Horse’s version of "Blowin in the Wind" over Marlene Dietrich’s version because it’s "the finest cover." Finest at what?) It gets worse when he gets to Cher’s version of "All I Really Want to Do." I’m amazed he picked her version over the one charting simultaneously by The Byrds. Cher’s version beat The Byrds in sales but Dylan himself liked The Byrds’ version. Critically, I’d like to know why Meacham felt Cher’s was better. Is he finally a reviewer who will defend Cher’s music? Yet he provides no real defense! So close but no cigar.

It’s interesting that Dylan made his debut in 1962, just a mere 3 years before Cher. This helps to explain why folk was still so huge in the mid-60s and yet old enough to be taken mainstream by pop acts like Sonny & Cher.

 

Believe it or not (a new mashup)

Believe_2 Last week a concerned non-fan friend sent me the news that "Believe" made Rolling Stone Magazine’s list of most annoying songs.

I notice all the songs on this list were massive hits, thus probably most annoying due to being over-played. Some I’ve had the pleasure of never hearing. Some are sexistly annoying. Some are annoying just because people find Celine Dion annoying. And yes, some are probably inherently annoying. I’m going to remain silent on "Believe." It was never one of my favorite songs and it’s probably my least favorite among Cher’s iconic solo quad which includes "Believe," "Gypsies," "Half Breed,"  and "Turn Back Time" – although "Believe" gives "Turn Back Time" a run for the bottom spot in my list. I love "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves." I really do. But it would have probably have made Rolling Stone’s list in 1976.

Here’s the list:

  1. The Black Eyed Peas – My Humps
  2. Los Del Rio – Macarena
  3. Baha Men – Who Let The Dogs Out
  4. Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On
  5. Nickelback – Photograph
  6. Lou Bega – Mambo No. 5
  7. James Blunt – You’re Beautiful
  8. The Spice Girls – Wannabe
  9. Sisqo – The Thong Song
  10. Cher – Believe

Cher fan friend JeffRey sent me another mash-up of "Believe," AC/DC-ized. You know I love mash-ups! This helps alleviate the annoyance quite a bit.

     Download AplusD_YouBelieveMeAllNightLong.mp3

 

New Cher CDs

Emicheruk_2 I received my new EMI Cher re-releases last weekend. EMI-UK has produced some new Imperial collections. One is a new compilation called The Best of Cher The Imperial Recordings 1965-1968.

They’ve whittled her Imperial stock down to…huh? 44 tracks? It’s not so much a question of why they included the songs they did, but why they rejected the one or two songs they didn’t include. And yet some of my favorites were still left out.

The CD has nice packaging. I love the colorized photos in the compilation, and the well-chosen black and white photos inside.

EmicherusBut it’s no match for US EMI retrospective that came out years and years ago Legendary Masters: Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down): The Best of Cher which had illuminating session out-takes (“Needles & Pins”) and b-sides (“She’s No Better Than Me”), plus very nerdy liner notes. They also managed to make those tough-love choices, whittling down her Imperial catalog to only 22 tracks.

The other EMI-UK release is a double package of Backstage and Cher’s very first solo compilation, Golden Greats.

I ordered my first LP copy of Backstage from a used record store I found in a record guide when I was 13 years old – I anxiously awaited a live 60s album! Boy was I disappointed. But I got over it and learned to love “Take Me for a Little While,” “The Click Song” and “A Song Called Children.” I had already fallen in love with “Masters of War” from a 1978 Sonny & Cher compilation I had called The Beat Goes On. I remember, age 8, forcing my parents to sit in our living room in our blood-red, American-Furniture-style chairs while I played them this Bob Dylan dirge on our old mammoth phonograph. After it was over, they said "Very nice, honey" and went back to the Den to finish watching Roots.

Backstage ended up becoming one of my favorite Imperial albums next to With Love. Read my Cher Scholar reviews. I’ve been waiting a long time for a good CD re-release after suffering an awful bootleg or two. And that’s the best thing about these releases. A re-mastered CD is a joy to listen to. I’ve even started to appreciate “Carnival” more this week.

Backstage_2 The Backstage CD includes all the original artwork. But the extra wrap of cardboard is over-packaging uselessness, annoying to deal with when getting your CD in and out. This booklet also overuses the Cher on the throne picture, on its cover (see the background fade to the left) and in various spots in the booklet. Although, she does wear a very Paris-Hilton expression in that photo.

The CD also includes the original liner notes to Backstage and Golden Greats. Sonny elicits a couldn’t-care-less statement from Cher. "You’ll either like me or you won’t." So transparent. Strangely, the Golden Greats liner notes seem different than the notes on my US LP. I remember this only because Golden Greats was the theme of my last Cher Zine. Does anyone know if the UK packaging for this compilation was always different or am I imagining things?

The new releases both have pathetic new liner notes that offer nothing new or insightful. Spartan career overviews are useful only for newbies when probably only die-hards and Cher historians will be buying this CD (there are very few real hits on it).

A side note: it really irks me when Cher biographers don’t listen to and speak about all her albums, like Backstage. The lady recorded over 35 original albums. Whether biographers like them or not is irrelevant; pay diligence fer Christ sake.
   

Karaoke Cher, I Got You Babe DVD and LP Covers

Karaoke1_2 I was Cher Scholar at no charge for two of my friends this week. A high school friend of mine who now works in Las Vegas as a singer and dancer was looking for a karaoke CD with "The Way of Love" on it. I’ve only ever been to karaoke as some sort of birthday obligation. So I wasn’t well steeped in Cher karaoke CDs although I knew there must be a plethora out there. This gave me a good opportunity to peruse the amazon.com market.

You Sing The Hits Of Cher

This has nine tracks: 2 from the dance era, 4 from the Geffen era, and 2 from 70s narrative period. There’s also "Shoop Shoop" which always sounded like a lame karaoke song to me anyway.

Hit Songs of Cher [ENHANCED]

Ooh…enhanced. This one has 10 tracks: "Believe" (twice…one vocal and one karaoke version although I don’t know the difference), 4 from the Geffen era, and 4 from the 70s narrative era.

Cher’s Greatest Hits Vol. 1

This one has 16 Tracks: 3 dance era, 8 Geffen era (including "Shoop Shoop"), 3 70s narrative tracks, and the recent "Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered" (although to me that’s quintessentially a Barbra Streisand song) and "Bang Bang" (which is either the 60s or Geffen era version).

Chartbuster Karaoke: Cher [ENHANCED]

What does enhanced mean for pete’s sake? This one has 12 tracks: 6 dance era (including "Runaway" and "Believe" twice…listed as mix, guide tracks or performance track…I’m so confused!) and 6 Geffen era tracks.

Hits Songs of Cher (Audio CD)

This one has no song list. Buy at your own peril.

Chartbuster Karaoke: Cher

This one has 15 tracks: 5 dance era tracks (including "Song for the Lonely" and "Different Kind of Love Song"), 5 Geffen tracks, 3 70s narrative era, and 2 60s era.

This one spelled Gypsies as Gypsys. I hate that. I really do.

Sing Like Cher Karaoke2_2

This one has 10 tracks, all from the Geffen era.

Sing The Hits Of Cher and Donna Summer (Karaoke)

Odd combination…but okay. This one has four obscure tracks from the Believe album ("Dove L’Amore" being the only exception) and four obscure tracks from Donna’s album ("This Time I Know It’s For Real" the exception…it also has Summer’s version of the operatic "Time to Say Goodbye" except the words are "I Will Go With You.")

Pocket Songs Just Tracks Karaoke – HITS OF CHER

No list.

Radio Starz – Cher’s Karaoke Anthology

This one was sent to me by a Cher yahoo-groups member. It’s the only one with "The Way of Love" and seems the best value with 22 tracks as follows.

  1. Believe – Cher
  2. A Cowboy’s Work Is Never Done – Cher
  3. If I Could Turn Back Time – Cher
  4. We All Sleep Alone – Cher
  5. The Way Of Love – Cher
  6. After All -Cher
  7. Strong Enough – Cher
  8. You Better Sit Down Kids – Cher
  9. The Beat Goes On – Cher
  10. Dark Lady – Cher
  11. Baby Don’t Go – Cher
  12. Half Breed – Cher
  13. I Got You Babe – Cher
  14. Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves – Cher
  15. Bang Bang – Cher
  16. I Found Someone – Cher
  17. Just Like Jesse James – Cher
  18. The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s In His Kiss) – Cher
  19. All I Ever Need Is You – Cher
  20. Take Me Home – Cher
  21. Little Man – Cher
  22. All Or Nothing – Cher

This is also the only one with "Cowboys," "The Beat Goes On," "Baby Don’t Go," "I Got You Babe," "All I Ever Need Is You," "Take Me Home" and "Little Man." All but two have the four signature songs: "Believe," "Turn Back Time," "Half Breed" (all but three) and "Gypsies." I didn’t see any CDs dedicated to Sonny & Cher.

I did my primary serach on Amazon but you might Google around for the right CD at the best price.

Last week a friend and I went to see two movies from the 70s at one of Santa Monica’s art house theaters. We saw Diary of a Mad Housewife which was interesting but pointless as the Leonard Maltin book says. I say what a doormat! This was followed by The Last of Sheila, a wonderfully fun who-done-it with a great cast including Dyan Cannon, Raquel Welch, George Mason and written by Anthony Perkins and Steven Sondheim.

Both movies featured Richard Benjamin; it was like a Richard Benjamin festival. Benjamin was great in both of them but I still blame him for Mermaids. After the movie my friend gave me two Cher albums he found at used record stores.

One was Bittersweet White Light. I said I didn’t know what the title meant. We laughed about Cher’s cover photo where she’s piled with turquoise and fur as if to say "I’m rich!" On the back cover she looks way too thin and there’s another infernal essay by Sonny about how Cher makes one feel when she sings. I hate those essays. But I honestly love this album. I know some think it’s god-awful but I really don’t understand the particulars on why. These funky standards are way cool IMHO. More creative than her versions on TV.

The other LP was a Canadian Mono print of In Case You’re In Love. Another odd title. In case you’re in love what? Both my friend and boyfriend were flabbergasted over the outfits on the cover. I love the back photographs in Europe (they look so bored) but the middle photo makes me dizzy. I think they’re trying to hypnotize us.

This week I finally received my Sonny & Cher I Got You Babe DVD. This is a German production that looks like a fancy bootleg. I can’t figure out how this thing was ever made and approved. It’s very mysterious consisting mostly of some of their more mundane TV show live performances; these are not clips I would pick. Oddly the first one ("A Cowboy’s Work Is Never Done") has the album track over-playing the TV show footage. The rest are live for the most part.

The track listing was not on Amazon:

  1. A Cowboy’s Work Is Never Done – From their early 70s show.
  2. The Letter – From their early 70s show.
  3. All I Ever Need Is You – From their early 70s show.
  4. Bad Moon Rising  – From their early 70s show.
  5. Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show/Mr. Tambourine Man – From their early 70s show.
  6. Cry Like a Baby – From their early 70s show.
  7. I Dig Rock ‘n’ Roll Music (with Bobby Vinton, Frankie Valli, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Chuck Berry and I just realized Jerry Lee looks like that jazz pianist I used to date) – From their early 70s show.
  8. Bad Bad Leroy Brown (the very kewl cartoon) – From their early 70s show.
  9. Let Me Down Easy – From their early 70s show.
  10. Love Grows Where My Rosemary Grows – I hadn’t seen this one before and it has interesting camera shots from behind left stage (including an great audience shot) and a front tracking shot like they never did. Very disorienting because it’s so unusual. I wish they had done these kinds of shots more often.
  11. Out of Sight/Get Ready – Hadn’t seen this one.
  12. Sonny & Cher Stomp – Hadn’t seen this one either but it’s a great self-deprecating send-up of themselves and their mannerisms complete with dancers.
  13. Silly Love Songs (with Donnie & Marie) – This one is from their later 70s Show.
  14. Without Love – Late 70s Show
  15. You Make Me Feel Like Dancing – Late 70s Show
  16. Little Man – This was an awesome rough video clip from the 60s. Worth the whole DVD.
  17. I Got You Babe – Old video footage we’ve seen before.
  18. What Now My Love – More greatness…seems like old live footage. Loved it!
  19. Let the Beat Go On – This is a really odd outro to the DVD with quivering still captures from the clips above…all backed by an indecipherable song. Those Germans.
  20. Biography – This is useless, impossible to read as it scrolls by too fast.

This DVD wouldn’t play on my TV player; it said the new DVD was dirty. It played fine on my computer, however.

I’m headed to St. Louis this weekend for the funeral of my friend’s father. Very sad. Joe Wiskirchen was a recent visitor to Chez Edgar (he even tried to instill discipline in him as did my mother to no avail) and was a move review contributor to Ape Culture. Needless to say he will be missed.

 

Elton John Influenced by Cher?

Eltonjohn1 For the last few weeks I’ve been obsessed with a VH-1 show called Classic Albums. It’s similar to my obsession with Project Runway in that I love to see a project come together. I love to learn how artists of any kind make choices and decisions along the way.

Elton John’s Goodbye Yellow Brick Road was an amazing episode of Classic Albums. Many iconic albums seem labored over. Not this one. It’s like he whipped it out and went home early. One comment he made was very interesting to me as it related indirectly to Cher.

Elton said he started out only wanting to write songs with Bernie Taupin. He didn’t want to be a lead singer or be a singer at all. But they couldn’t find anybody who would record their songs. So they decided to record their songs themselves. They decided Elton would sing; but it just as well could have been Bernie. And Elton said that by the Yellow Brick Road album in 1973 he had finally come into his own singing style. Before that, he struggled to define a style.

Which is interesting because in a few earlier recordings it always seemed to me like Elton John was trying to sing like Cher. In fact, in the mid to late 1970s when I would often hear the song "Levon" on the radio, (Levon was a hit in 1972), I didn’t yet know who Elton John was and I would always be confused. Is that Cher? I don’t think that’s a Cher song. How could there be a Cher hit on the radio and I wouldn’t know about it? (I was seven or eight and already a know-it-all Cher Scholar beeotch.) But yet it sounds just like Cher!

Later when I knew it was an Elton John song, I still thought it sounded like Cher.

Speaking of the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, does anybody think "Bennie and the Jets" sounds like an homage to S&C-like acts? Or more specifically about a group like the Ronettes but with the fashion sense of Sonny & Cher?

…Hey kids…(something, something, something)…electric music, solid walls of sound…(blah, blah, blah)…have you seen them yet…oooh, but they’re so spaced out…they’re so weird and they’re wonderful…Bennie, she’s really keen…she’s got electric boots…a mohair suit…you know I read it in a magazine…b-b-b-Bennie and the Jets…

According to VH-1 Classic Albums, the audience sounds are all fake, complete with British peoples clapping on the off-beats as apparently they are rhythmically challenged this way.

Turns out the audience cheering is from a Jimi Hendrix show! And people give Cher drama for her fake voice box bits. Hmmm. So it’s only cool when Elton fakes it…dressed in feathers.

 

A Woman’s Story

Cherspector
Last week, an I Found Some Blog commenter kindly posted a question. What do I think about the single “A Woman’s Story,” he asks, I’m guessing in light of all my recent Phil Spector bashing.

Well, I like the wall of sound. I really do. I appreciate it. But I also feel Cher is a wall of sound unto herself and two walls of sound can make one feel a tad claustrophobic. That said, this single and I go a long way back…

The first time I heard the opening bars was in background footage of a documentary that had Sonny discussing his feelings about Phil Spector…the same early 80s Spector documentary I mentioned a few blog posts back. Not only was it a Cher song I had never heard before (and I thought I had all the albums by then); but it sounded crazy-cool. Haunted. Unlike anything I had ever heard her do. And she’s recorded in every conceivable style, so that’s sayin’ somethin’.

It was the mid-80s and I was 15 or 16 years old. I had no Cher community. All I had were record guides from Waldenbooks at the mall. I would scribble down record lists on the back of envelopes without paying for the books. This was before the big chain bookstores encouraged you to sit for a spell and read all day.

There were no good Cher discographies or biographies out yet. The J. Randy Taraborrelli book might have been out but I hadn’t read it yet. So I was on the lookout for the song but I didn’t even know the name of it.

Soon after I got my driver’s license (the summer of 1986), I was still terrified to drive on the highways. So one Saturday afternoon I took a very slow, surface-street drive across St. Louis to make it to the south county used-record stores. I found the 45 sitting innocently in a huge 45 bin. I bought it for $1.50. Can you believe it? I paid $75-100 for similar Warner singles years later on ebay. When I got home I was immediately in trouble for making everyone late for an Olan Mills family portrait sitting. But I didn’t care because I loved my trip to get that 45. I was finally breaking out and finding hidden treasure!

The song’s writing credits are Spector-Tempo-Stevens. Which looking back now, the lyrics feel slightly woman-hating, in a sort of “I’m-trying-to-be-sympathetic-but-I’m-showing-my-hidden-prejudices” sort of way. Especially depending upon how you interpret “woman.” Is this woman the universal woman or one particularly unusual woman? In any case, woman equals whore. And if you’re following the Spector trial, he has a tendency to generalize all women as whores. His high school girlfriend claimed he had jealousy issues. Which links quite easily to “if you sleep with anyone other than me you must be a whore.” It’s disturbing how far we can take this train of thought.

But let’s separate these latest unsettling allegations from the song itself, a ballad about a lonely hooker. What an awesome opening: shrill, creepy backups until Cher’s voice comes rolling in.

I would almost think the wall of sound would suits Cher’s voice; it tries to coat her vocals in sound. But in this case, it’s too loud. Cher sounds a bit unenthusiastic, mumbling a few words. Then again, Cher might be performing a very convincing depressed character.

The biggest problem is that the song sounds too dated for the mid 70s. It sounds very late 60s which was such a specific sound remarkably tied to its time. But then even the backup “ahs” in the middle of the song are too clunky for the late 60s. 

I both love and hate this song’s oddness, its tripped out atmosphere; but I’m glad this wasn’t the sound that Stars turned out to be. “From now on I say hell no.”

The B-Side provides us with more Spector: “Baby I love You,” a remake (and some say dis on the Ronnie Spector original). Again, another song on drugs. But I still love parts of it. I love the ethereal texture of the introduction, the heartbeat bass, the vulnerable way Cher sings the verses, not teenage-frantic like the original. A great quiet performance by Cher (lovely falsetto). Kim and Kath would say “It’s nice. It’s unusual.”  I even love the outro with the free-style guitar.

But then by the time the chorus comes around, you feel like you’re listening to molasses. A musical goopy mess. The song feels like a single-engine plane that can’t quite take off. Double Darn It.

Then there was also “A Love Like Yours” by Cher and Harry Nilsson. Same story: dated, maddeningly-slow, messy. I can’t even understand what they’re singing. Plus it seems like a rip off of Dylan’s  “Knocking on Heaven’s Door.” The whole thing is labored, plodding and lifeless; although it almost sounds like Cher is screeching at the end. 

Speaking of Phil working with Cher, we can’t forget her first studio performance, “Ringo I love You,” a bizarre sounding thing, a garage-band guitar, Beatlesque tempo and yeah yeahs.” And still, the song has no omph, it’s so slow. A flat, Frankenstein vocal performance, too.  This was an unfortunate way to introduce Cher to the public. Many thought she was a man singing. But I think she sounds more exotic than masculine.

The best wall of sound Cher song, in my humble opinion, is “Dream Baby.” And this was a Sonny Bono interpretation of the wall. I only have a stereo version on my iPod. Does anybody out there have the mono version? What’s the difference?

Anyway, Sonny captured a Ronettes-like sound except Cher’s makes it a Gothic girl group. Her 60s voice can sound amazingly innocent and experienced at the same time. It’s a great, simple vocal. And Sonny does the right thing by tempering the wall of sound so as not to compete with Cher’s voice. The percussion sounds cleaner and the sax is fun. It’s like a little wall Cher can sit on and kick up her feet.

 

From One Snow Queen to Another

Chershow2
It’s a busy week this: Just saw David Sedaris read at UCLA’s Royce Hall and the Los Angeles Times Book fest is coming up this weekend. This is my favorite literary event….ever!! I can’t wait. I just wish the poetry panels were more substantial – like the groovy fiction and non-fiction panels are. Instead they put out quaint, watery sessions, like this year: Poetry: Inspiring Lines and Poetry: Chapter & Verse.

Fiction get panels like Los Angeles Fiction: Living In Paradise or Writing Science. How about Science in Poetry or Poetry and Place? Feminism in Poetry would be great seminar.

Anyway…it’s also been a great week for Cher scholarship. I Found Some Blog commenter Rob emailed  an MP3 of an old Elton John song called “Snow Queen” which appears to be a none-too-approving disrespect on Cher circa the mid 70s.

This single apparently was the 1976 UK B-side for "Don’t Go Breaking My Heart" and even Kiki Dee makes an appearance singing backup.  The credits listed Elton John, Dave Johnstone, Kiki Dee, David Nutter for music and Bernie Taupin, per usual, as lyrics. You can find the lyrics here at Elton John Lyrics Site.

The song has a confusing object at first. It begins directed to a “you” person.: “You remind me so much / of her when you’re walkin.” Then in the chorus the song starts jumps to the Snow Queen suddenly, presumably one who reminds the writer of being like the "you" person.

Exactly who reminds Bernie Taupin of Cher, I’d like to know. Is that even possible that someone else could be anything resembling Cher? I don’t think so. Just what are the odds?

Early descriptions include “You’re a cushion uncrumpled / You’re a bed that’s unruffled.” Is this talking about the Snow Queen aka Cher here?  “The finest bone china / bone china around”? Is this a poetic reference to Cher’s great cheek bone structure?

Hey now, the snow queen sounds a bit chilly so far. The lyrics state “she’s got the world on a string / like white wine when it’s chilled.” More chilliness again. And why does white wine have so much power over the world…when it’s chilled?

Carolwood2
“I believe the Snow Queen / lives somewhere in the hills.” Had Cher moved from Carolwood to Malibu then (because that’s a beach) or to the hills of her Egyptian palace by 1976? Didn’t that house take years to  build? But at least that one is in the  Benedict Canyon  Hills.

“The snow queen reigns in warm LA / behind the cold black gates.” So the gates of Carolwood were black. But they weren’t in the hills. See the gates of the Carolwood and Benedict Canyon abodes. (Don’t ask me why I have these picks.)

Egyptdriveway_4
The best lines of the song are "Arms are spread like icicles / upon a frosted cake.” Yet more chilliness. Are they insinuating Cher is a cold beeotch?

“Your talons are tested / they’re polished and they’re shaped.” The lyric sheet replaces the first talons   with talents but I think Elton is singing and referring to her nails or talons. “Your talents are wasted / on men who have no tasted” (Gregg Allman?)

And here is where we get in to real evidence that the song is indeed about Cher. “…passion means more than /a wardrobe of gowns, TV ratings /a fragile waist and a name.” Why a fragile waist; I mean, it’s tiny, but fragile?

Then fade out clinches it when Elton sings "I Got You Babe" three times, "Bang Bang" three times and then “aAnd the beat goes on.” I had to turn my iPod volume up to hear the last bit but it’s there.

Honestly, Cher had a lot going on in 1976…even Elton would agree. I’d be a beeotch too if I was pregnant on national television, the father was a drug-addled Chia Pet, and my TV ratings and records were stalling like an Edsel.

It sounds like someone didn’t get their invitation to a Cher soirée. I don’t know much about Cher’s relationship to Elton John back then. He was a guest on the debut of the Cher Show back in 1975; but I believe I read somewhere that Cher wanted to open for Elton John when she was promoting Black Rose and he refused. Rumor? Fact? I dunno. She showed up at his Audience with Elton John in 1997 acting pretty chummy.

I actually really like this song. There’s an odd moment at the end where the bongos go crazy but I think it’s a lovely contemplative piece and would be really pleasant for a couples skate.

It also reminds me of Barry Manilow’s early 70s song “She’s a Star” from the album Tryin to Get the Feelin Again. The song was supposedly about Bette Midler.

It would be fun to hear Cher cover “Snow Queen.” It could be a  sort of F.U. peace-offering. She could keep most of the lyrics but sing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," "Rocket Man" and "Sorry Seems to Be"…at the fade out.

And speaking of talons and the lovely 80s Interview cover picture I talked about last week, my Richard Bernstein photo book came today. Whoo hoo! Bernstein did those Warhol-esque Interview covers for many years. In the book, Bernstein calls himself a “thoroughbred New Yorker and his photo looks like it fell the wall of an  80s hair salon.

Inside there’s a short essay on Cher that attempts to conceptualize her stardom. It says she’s somewhere between the invention of the Barbie Doll and the Valley Girl, “a money-to-burn celebrity,” and “someone every Jewish princess, Dry Wasp bitch, valley girl from Tuxedo, South Carolina and Hi Hat, Kentucky, can relate to.” I don’t quite get that, but okay.

“Today [this is the early 80s, remember] Cher’s famous claws for nails are clipped. So is her windfall of glossy black hair…Her nails were like falcon’s talons, a mighty two inches long and dipped in sanguine crayon. Cher’s eyelashes still flap like porch awnings.”

“She wants to be an ordinary high-serious actress so she’s moved to New York…”

Ah yes…so pedestrian to be an award winning actress when you can be a cultural icon. With that I agree.

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