So expanding out the Cher dolls, outfits and toys section of Cher Scholar and organizing what outfits I had for my Christmas Cher doll tree has reenergized me for a new round of outfit hunting adventures, which led me to some interesting experiences over the last few weeks.
But first of all I’m a pretty cheap Cher doll collector. I’m not made of money, as it were. And so I won’t likely spend more than 30 bucks for a doll or outfit unless it’s some fabulously rare thing. I never did get bitten by the outfit bug as a child and I’m not trying to build a mint-in-box collection here or an investment portfolio. These are for a Christmas tree, for Santa’s sake! The dolls can be damaged. The hair can be a mess or lovingly braided. I often get outfits with torn seams or missing accessories. For Laverne, I created my own accessories from cast-off Barbie stuff.
I’m also willing to be the home for orphaned and damaged Cher dolls, including lots of missing hands. As a matter of fact, it’s often difficult for me, as an adult, to get her outfits on over those hand with long finger nails and I can’t imagine the childhood frustration of trying to do it over and over for outfit changes on one doll. It’s no wonder hands were snapped off their arms.
And I’ve seen enough haunted doll movies and TV shows that haunted Chers do cross my mind but I have yet to have burned sage over any of them.
But this year I also decided to expand into Cher’s friends as a way to socialize the tree, so to speak. The mego Farrah Fawcett dolls are pretty affordable, like the damaged Cher dolls. But then I found a Toni Tennille doll (right before I went into a deep dive on the Captain & Tennille).
This led to some more unanswerable doll questions, like why are the Cher and Farrah dolls so cheap when they were the most popular of idols when the dolls were first sold? Is it because the market was glutted with Cher and Farrah dolls? To that point, why are the Kate Jackson and Daryl Dragon dolls so expensive? Who even knows who those people are anymore?
I mean if I have to explain to my “young” friends (who are close to 40s now) who Vincent Price is (among other people) and if those memoir podcast ladies had to explain to their listeners who the hell Elvis was (Lord help me), why is the Kate Jackson doll so f**king expensive???
I’m trying to understand supply and demand here. Because fewer people had the Jackson and Dragon dolls, they are like 100-700 dollars instead of 15-30 dollars? That just doesn’t make sense and they are not selling. There’s that. But I hear the eBay market is really bad right now. So maybe they expect to get that but times are tough.
All I know is I had to look a long time (in doll time) to find a Kate Jackson Mattel doll (the only one that looks remotely like her) within my budget and even then I had to go higher. And it was an annoying experience haggling for a Kate Jackson doll (which was in good condition but not mint-in-box or even with a shitty box and not in her original outfit). I also discovered the Mattel dolls and outfits are far inferior in quality to the Mego ones. Pleh. But now Cher has her (once real life) friends Farrah and Kate on the tree. (Which begs the question why Cher wasn’t friends with the remaining Charlie’s Angel, Jacqueline Smith, and if there’s a story there.) Toni isn’t a friend but is contemporaneous and is modeling the red Chinese dress. I refuse to pay 50 to 100 dollars for a Daryl Dragon doll so she’ll be alone on the tree for a while.
And if we have Sonny & Cher and (someday) Captain & Tennille, it just made sense to add Donny & Marie to the tree. I have long since given my Donny & Marie dolls to my nieces so I had to procure some inexpensive new ones. (If you follow this blog you know they were the main characters in our salacious Barbie dramas…because they looked nothing like Donny and Marie).
Thank God my mother gave me her big artificial Christmas tree this summer.
But I’ve had some weird late experiences lately on eBay. And not just the obscure-celebrity dolls prices. I’m starting to get little Christian tracts included with my doll purchases, reprinted bible verses, folded 8×11 columns of persuasion to embrace Jesus because “once you have His child He will never leave you!”
And one such Christian seller ripped me off. (Not actually that shocking I guess.)
There was a very cheap Cher doll listed with just a head-shot and the Cher hair obscuring the naked upper body (almost like the pose of Eve). I should have known better. I was suspicious but it was really affordable (and I was in a hurry). I had a communication with the seller to determine that “the legs are good.” Technically this was true, the legs were good. They just weren’t Cher legs!!
The doll arrived and I opened the box to find a doll where a Cher head had been grafted on to the Magic Moves Barbie (which is a lot shorter than the Cher doll by a few inches). And what are the magic moves, you ask? Brushing and blow-drying her hair. Those are the magic moves. Sigh.
Someone sent this blue cape on one of my previous Cher dolls and I now use it with the default salmon mermaid Cher dress on the tree.
Anyway, so it’s a creepy Bionic Cher! But it’s now part of the collection of misfit Cher dolls and sporting an outfit that somewhat obscures her deformities and has been assigned to be the doll that goes with the Cher record player (which has a doll twirling feature). It has just dawned on me at this very moment that I subconsciously put the record-player doll in the same dress that is advertised on the record player box.
(I am so deep into this, I scare myself.)
This eBay package, too, came with Christian messaging. That the sale of this doll was a complete exercise in dishonesty is, I guess, just part of this person’s Christian lie. (?!)
But on a happier note, recently I also discovered the Donny & Marie toy stage, which I feel no desire to purchase, but which I am delighted by, especially when I can compare it to the Sonny & Cher toy stage.
This Donny & Marie stage is cheaper and made of carboard covered in plastic. The Sonny & Cher stage is a more substantial 3D object, with somewhat sophisticated (for a 8 year old) mechanical parts. But I like how festive the Donny & Marie stage is. God forbid, though, you tore the plastic and got it wet. We had basement floods a few times in St. Louis and a some of my childhood Cher objects made of cardboard (like record sleeves) have waves in them.
The Donny & Marie stage has funny backdrops like the Osmond brothers playing guitars and the drummer brother. You can also see a teleprompter there.
Marie also has her own dressing area, similar to Cher’s but with a drawn-on table instead of a 3D one. Note Marie’s ice skates hanging there and a wig. Where are Cher’s wigs? Cher’s closet is a mess of showbiz hardware. But then she has her own toy that’s just a closet. Marie has to make do with three outfits in her closet. But like Cher, she has pictures on the wall but when you zoom in you can see they are cartoon drawings of brothers and pets. Marie has no photographs of herself. Cher has four pictures of herself, one with Sonny and one with Chastity.
- Marie’s dressing table.
- Marie’s dressing room and closet.
- Cher’s dressing room.
Instead of a piano, Donny & Marie have a keyboard. But their TV camera (missing the stand) is better and has more sophisticated stickers than Sonny & Cher’s and, hilariously, it has Donny’s smiling face coming through it.
Can someone tell me what this is?
And I’m sorry but nothing screams rock and roll more than this. Second only to this.
Sonny & Cher singing with Donny & Marie

































































