Category: Peripherals (Page 20 of 21)

When I heard this song on indie radio in LA yesterday while driving back to work after getting my car Bluebelle washed, I thought it sounded like Elijah was singing it. I thought "great…time to eat crow."  But it wasn’t Deadsy, it was Muse singing "Knights of Cydonia." Hee hee. No crow eating for me! 🙂

Okay–so the big news this week is that the National Examiner rag supposedly published picture(s) of Chastity and they say she’s now 300 pounds. I haven’t seen the article or these pictures. Not because I’m particularly ‘bloid-immune, but I am so slow in getting to the 7-11 that the ‘bloids have "turned" by the time I get there and are on to other stories like mutant babies from the deep void of space (i.e. Britney Spears). Okay that was a bad joke. But I’ve never forgave Spears’ remake of "The Beat Goes On" and it has fueled me with with a sense of insuppressible vengeance. So who knows how true or false the story may be. The fact that it’s a story at all is the most interesting aspect.

We as a celebrity obsessed nation seem to be way more obsessed with Chastity Bono than other celebrities of her ilk and she’s had multiple stories in the ‘bloids. Why should that be? Because she’s young, an older sister of sorts for today’s self-abusing starlets? Because she’s famous for being the only child of a mega-star-couple? Because she was a child star herself?

Elijah garnishes an occasional news blurb due to some lunkheadedly piggish comment he makes on Howard Stern. But these reports usually surface on Internet news and hardly compare to the national interest Chasity receives. Other children of stars–even if they have reality shows like Rod Stewart’s son–aren’t such big stories.

Cher’s stardom is huge, however, and works on many levels: her products, her fashion, her love life and life story (which is what the tabloids hook into). And it’s been so long since the nation has had a juicy Cher tabloid story. Are we so desperate for one that we’re seeking it in her kids?

On the other hand, Chastity was a legitimate child star herself. But child stars don’t automatically get stalked by the rags either. Do we get updates on how Adam Rich is doing? No.

Chastity has never "gone Hollywood" and doesn’t act like wanna-be-back-so-desperately PR-machines like other child stars. Even those folks aren’t getting this kind of look-what-happened-to-them coverage. It seems Chastity is a phenomenon larger than the sum or her famous parts. And if Cher is accurate in describing her purity (did she make a punny there?) and high standards, it’s understandably an upsetting situation to live with, hence some coping mechanisms may ensue.

Overeating isn’t the worst as coping mechanisms go. Can we imagine how disturbing it is to be stalked by tabloid photographers and not be getting paid millions for movies or albums to make up for the inconvenience? Chastity should get a Cher-stipend for her troubles.

I think we continue to gawk because we like Chastity. We really do. We just show it in a very modern and disturbingly ‘tarded way.

Least we forget how icky the ‘bloid breed is, here’s an excerpt from the memoirs of one particularly nut-jobby paparazzi who talks at length about trying to ensnare comments from bereaving family members after Sonny’s death (which seems to have been a particularly frenetic tabloid time for the Sonny&Cher clan: http://www.canada.com/windsorstar/news/story.html?id=c05fb318-300e-44da-bad1-de5dccaba3c9&k=60345.

Okay…I lied. Five posts. This week Cyndi Lauper speaks well of Cher in an article promoting the True Colors extravaganza.

In the San Fansisco Bay Times article she says about touring with Cher:

"Cher was amazing!  She was so respectful. She didn’t treat me like an opening act at all. She really gave me the ability to put my own part of the show and evening forward. And come on!  She’s Cher.  How can you not love sharing the stage with Cher?!  It was a great experience."

No…silly. Just two new solo songs on his Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/elijahbluemusic.

Long Way Down

This is a sweet love song, but in that adorable, Deadsy-goth style. (My schnauzer ears go huh?) Same vitriol, “nothing really matters at all.” So why bother listening? I like the fade, though.

White Knuckle Angle Face

Yes, it’s hard to compile an image of a knuckle face. But I like this one better. The vocal has lightened up noticeably. Those retro-synth sounds of Deadsy are still there; but it’s an LRB-Cool-Change. It makes me wonder what ‘Elijah having fun’ might sound like. His creepy voice returns, however. (Come here Fido! Come here! Let go of your inner Goth, Fido. Drop it! Droooop it.)

Actually, the interplay between his two voices creates an interesting tension here. Although I have no idea what the lyrics are on about. I can barely decipher the words. But does it matter?
   

For a long time I’ve been meaning to blog about Terri Garr’s book Speedbumps, Flooring it through Hollywood which I finished reading last year. I relished the opportunity to read this autobiography for some rare insights it might have provided on behind-the-scenes S&C Comedy Hour drama. I also wondered what she’s say about working with Steve Martin.

The book was largely disappointing. I’ve summarized almost all the Cher encounters and comments below (there were so few). Garr talks at length about her struggles with MS – definitely important to cover; but the title of the book leads us to believe we’ll be getting dish about her day job, not a book primarily about MS. Garr has had a successful and interesting career in television and movies. She egregiously glosses over most of her work, giving some movie classics only a sentence or two! The book is plain, uneven storytelling. She spends paragraphs explaining how she met Mr. Right: how they met, married and spawned, only to tell us in a pass-off comment in the last chapter that they’d already separated. Garr gives us no explanation as to why or when! She also hints at drama with other mega-stars (Jessica Lange) but never fully explains what happened. It was a frustrating read, I must say. She has previously expressed more emotion about working with S&C on Cher TV bio-pics than she did in this book.

You do get a few stories about her relationship with Steve Martin (who not only wrote for the S&C show but did their warm-up act), how they met working at Disneyland and then on The Ken Berry Show – with Cheryl Ladd of all people, and transitioned to the Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour – sans Cheryl. Chris Bearde was a producer on both shows.

Teri calls Cher on TV “a stunning presence…She was pure showbiz.”

I thought Cher was glamorous. She swore a lot, which I respected…What impressed me most about Cher was that even though she and Sonny had topped the charts…she acted like one of the girls. She’d come sit down with all the dancers and talk about face cream or hairdos or men. She taught me to do needlepoint…When I got stuck, I always wanted to know the by-the-book way to fix my work. Cher would simply say, “You just do what you have to do. It’s like life: you don’t have to play by the rules. Just get it done.”

Garr mentions this funny encounter: Cher was sizing Teri up one day backstage on the set. Teri was wearing jeans and a t-shirt (hey, that’s my wardrobe) and

Cher said, “You have to get a look. I have a look.” Looking at her in her black feathers and snake boots, I thought, Yes, you sure do.

Teri claims Cher’s dressing room always had shrimp cocktails and Coca-Colas and racks of dresses; but Cher would come over to Teri’s shabby dressing room to sneak cigarettes.

“That was before we decided smoking was making us look old.”

Garr also tells a funny story about sneaking out of S&C show obligations for small movie roles, telling one casting director who needed her to travel to San Francisco,

“But I’m on Sonny & Cher’s show. We’re rehearsing a Japanese rock-and-roll opera tomorrow. I can’t miss rehearsal!”

Garr also repeats her famous story of learning to speak with a German accent in 24 hours for the movie Young Frankenstein with the help of Cher’s wig-stylist Renata, Garr practicing saying:

“Mein Gott, zis vig veighs forty poundz.”

Garr makes no mention of working on The Sonny Comedy Revue or of leaving the S&C show. They’re both just never mentioned much again.
   

Ben Sargent is one of my favorite political cartoonists. This one particularly captured my feelings lately.

The Phil Spector trial has begun this week with cameras in the courtroom. Must 3-year old Maggie down the street be subjected to the ravings and hairstyles of a mad Los Angeles courtroom? Well, maybe she should. "Never get in the car with crazy record producers, Maggie. Learn to produce your own records."

There’s a very poignant recap of the Spector saga written by Joe Domanick in the Los Angeles Magazine. Although some of the Cher’s biographies and Ronnie Spector’s book do cover Phil history, I learned a few fun facts about him in the LA Magazine article.

On the positive side, Domanick describes Spector as the first rock-star producer of the 60s with a "transformative vision that combined the raw power of juke-joint blues with the energy of teeny-bopper pop." Domanick states that Spector "took youth culture into the realm of the operatic" and that his singles had an almost "Wagnerian force." Spector worked on Beatle-related classics such as "The Long and Winding Road," "Let it Be," George Harrison’s "My Sweet Lord," and John Lennon’s "Imagine." Bruce Springsteen’s "Born to Run" was inspired by Spector, as were the bands The Killers, Nine Inch Nails, and The Shins, according to Domanick’s piece.

On the negative side…his parents were first cousins and his father committed suicide by the car-and-carbon-dioxide method when Phil was 8. As a child. Domanick describes Spector as an "asthmatic elfin misfit." His mother and sister were allegedly domineering. Does that neccessarily cause issues with women? Early girlfriends comment on Phil’s early struggles with anger and jealousy. He’s been in therapy since 1965 and was on the wagon for a year prior to the incident with Lana Clarkson; however, prior to that he pulled guns on various dates and musicians including Stevie Wonder Dee Dee Ramone and Leonard Cohen. He also allegedly fired a round when producing John Lennon.

I dread following this story. More gun violence issues, hooray. But as Cher Scholar, I feel compelled to keep a side-glance on it. Spector and his minions were a big part of the Sonny & Cher sound, pre-Snuff Garrett.

Cher sang backup on the oft-mentioned signature recordings: "You’ve Lost that Lovin Feeling" by the Righteous Brothers, "Be My Baby" by the Ronettes and the Spector Christmas album. Spector also produced Cher’s first single "Ringo, I Love You," a super-rare collectible of pop culture because it’s desired by Spector fans, Beatle fans and Cher fans.

At Spector’s recording studio, Gold Star on Vine Street in Hollywood, Spector worked with a core group of studio musicians he called The Crew. Cher worked with many of them throughout her tenure with Sonny & Cher: Hal Blaine appears on many Sonny & Cher records (his daughter Michelle Blaine is prominent in the Clarkson murder investigation as she worked for Phil until recently and allegedly deflected his marriage proposals), Glen Campbell who made a few appearances on Cher’s variety shows in the 70s, Leon Russell who wrote "Superstar" which Cher recorded before The Carpenters turned it into a hit, and Mac "Dr. John" Rebennack who also played with Sonny & Cher in the early days.

Sonny probably picked up a lot being Phil Spector’s helper-bee. I remember Sonny talking on an 80s Phil Spector documentary saying how brilliant the Wall of Sound was but that this was basically all Phil could do.

This crime story is also a map of a fading Los Angeles nightlife: Phil hit Trader Vics and Dan Tanas before picking up Clarkson at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip. Lana Clarkson was an aging actress struggling to pay her rent on a shabby bungalow in the Venice canals. Maybe she should have looked for less exclusive and cheaper rent somewhere else, instead of paling around shifty entertainment types at the House of Blues. The LA Magazine article makes her out to be a sweetheart of a smart gal. But they fail to explain (or even raise the question – the veritable elephant in the room) of why this far from doe-eyed-right-off-the-bus actress (she’d been a lei girl on Fantasy Island for God’s sake) didn’t know better than to go home with someone who everyone knows has more guns than wits about him. Was he attractive? No. Was he a star maker of the moment? No. Was he treating her swell that night? No. So WTF??

This is the mystery I’ll be pursuing during this trial. Not if he did it; not why he did it; not why none of the other victims called Spector to acount for years of abusive incidents. Even crazy-old power paralyzes in Hollywood, so it would seem. What I want to know is why the hell Lana Clarkson ended up in that house.

The latest coverage of the trial can be found here, including interesting revelations this week about the jury pool.

If you’ve been watching TV at all, you can’t miss the latest court room news on the Phil Spector case. The latest evidence that prosecutors are submitting is testimony from a woman at Joan Rivers’ Christmas party. Spector was there allegedly ranting about all women deserving to die by a most violent means. Which if you’ve read Ronnie Spector’s biography (which I did because Cher wrote the foreword), these latest accusations of violent bullying aren’t exactly surprising. One wonders if Cher witnessed much of what Ronnie went through. Cher apparently was pretty feisty with Phil during those recording sessions at Goldstar Studios.

Then again, maybe Phil Spector, as freakish as he seems to us, didn’t frighten Cher all that much. She was probably exposed to a plethora of characters, quirky and unsavory, both in the family and growing up on the streets of LA. Maybe that gave her the cojones to survive in the cut-throat music biz after Sonny’s exit stage left.

LA Times’ latest on Spector’s trial:

• New Evidence
• Which Do Will Spector Do
• What They’ll Hear About Phil Spector

Last week I started a new job doing content updates for a company in Internet governance. My commute is less than three miles and I sit in a quiet office with a view of the lovely marina in Marina Del Rey. I love it! I’m mostly swapping out War-and-Peace amounts of Internet policy documents. Not exactly sexy in the land of Hollywood and pop culture but I like it. It appeals to my inner nerd. I also get to learn Dreamweaver, web compliance standards, and how the Internet works. Never considered that before. I look forward to the next few months of coding, editing and watching LA sunsets from my window.  Plus the bathrooms are clean. Which is more than I can say for my last LA office job downtown. *Shudder*

As I was doing laundry this weekend, I read up on my Ann Wylie/PRSA newsletters full of writing tips. There I found out about a new word: verbidical which means “ a condition that exists when a person believes he or she is skilled in the use of words (a verbalist), but in reality is grammatically challenged.”

For some reason, this word immediately reminded me of Cher peripheral Elijah Blue Allman. Maybe this is because I just perused the latest Deadsy CD (Phantasmagore – their second album). I caught up on Elijah news and Deadsy history with Wikipedia. The CD was released last August, 2006. If you remember, Elijah went on Howard Stern to promote it and made headlines for his comments about Paris Hilton being unclean in her nethers.

Where do I start with Elijah? Why talk about Cher-spawns at all? Normally I would say leave the kids out of your celebrity obsessions! However, Cher’s two children are very public by choice: both have put out either records or books, or made reality TV or radio appearances. And both talk about life with Cher; so their experiences seem relevant to my continuing, albeit pointless, Cher scholarship.

In trying to process the Deadsy project, I’ve had to wade through an onslaught of artifice that leaves even Cher in the dust. Such artifice includes:

1. Band mates all having pseudonyms: Elijah only goes by Phillips Exeter Blue I. But hey, when you have an unusual name to begin with, self-picking an even odder name has no effect.
2. Deadsy image making is so heavy-handed. For the album Commencement, the images were about boarding schools, secret societies, uniforms. But it was a vapid message; I never gained any insight into these institutions.
3. In this albums incarnation, the band has color-coded outfits intended to represent the following categories: academia, leisure, war, horror, and medicine/science. There’s some overlap here: academia encompasses medicine/science and horror overlaps with war. And what does this gesture serve anyway? The album’s lyrical content doesn’t fully support the gimmick. Instead, I just feel the sudden urge to play Trivial Pursuit. Or maybe we’re already playing it.
4. In interviews Elijah likens the lyrics and band to an art project or a David Lynch film but not any specific school of art or specific David Lynch film. And here is where I feel Elijah and the band are intellectually lazy. Their art gestures are too general.
5. The band has a logo: a TV Test Pattern which reflects back to artifice #3. I know. Why?
6. Wikipedia claims the band has a manifesto. I know I should have read it but as Susan Sarandon says in Witches of Eastwick, sometimes I just can’t face it.
7. Deadsy refers to their fans as legions. This fact elicited laughter from my significant roomie who declared, “that’s the most ironic statement of all.”

If there’s truly irony or satire here, it’s empty overkill. The fact that the project may be ironic and may be serious is a weak position. You have to be brave with satire and irony.

Elijah, being the product of two unique vocalists, is likewise unique. However, his hardcore, menacing vocals feel inauthentic to me. Like he’s trying too hard. But far worse are his interview snippets in reviews where he attempts brilliance that try even harder. What results are nonsensical posings. It doesn’t even work as satire. These antics are the predictable exercises of every budding artist….in high school. But from a man who’s just crossed the threshold of 30, it’s plain adolescent. And the content just doesn’t back up the bravado.

Okay, maybe I have a bad attitude about Deadsy or Elijah or the whole circle of 30-something nere-do-wells who produce the bulk of Hollywood gossip right now. I did go see Deadsy a few years ago at the Roxy in LA. The band kept stopping mid-song (I don’t like it when Lucinda Williams does it either – but at least she is truly brilliant). Elijah blamed “electricity.” On Howard Stern he said his performance wasn’t up to par due to jet lag. Snap out of it!

And must you have contempt for everything? The problem is he doesn’t come across as any smarter than what he has contempt for.

As I read aloud funny interview blurbs, my significant roomie weighed in with this conclusion: When you grow up in the cradle of celebrity and money, you don’t get to say how stupid society is. Because you’ve never truly lived it, slum around all you like. It’s like William Shatner & Joe Jackson singing Common People:

"Smoke some fags and play some pool
pretend you never went to school;
but still you’ll never get it right
when you’re lying in bed at night
watching roaches climb the wall.
If you call your Dad,
he could stop it all.
You’ll never live like common people;
you’ll never watch your life slide out of view
and dance and break and screw
…because they’re nothing else to do.”

(Banks, Doyle, Mackey, Senior & Cocker)

You have plenty else to do: like get a record deal or visit Howard Stern and talk about screwing Paris Hilton (call her unclean); or talk about screwing Bijou Phillips (3 o’clock slop) or screwing Heather Graham (dumb as a shoe). 

Elijah as a person owes us nothing. As an artist, he owes us something for our attention. I wish he would just give us something honest about his life experience instead of this elaborate junk which just accentuates what is possibly a low self-esteem. Maybe not. But if all the drama with heroin, goth artifice, and hatin’ on women hadn’t betrayed him yet, the emptiness of Deadsy will eventually.

Not that anyone asked…(aw heck, I ask myself)….if I were Elijah what would I do? I would strike the slate clean. Revamp, refurbish, rethink it. Take it all down and start from a more genuine place. Own up to who you are. There’s nothing wrong with being a son of celebrity. It’s one thing to say that; it’s another thing to believe it. Besides, you have no choice. And what’s left to be said about artifice in 2007 anyway? Even David Foster Wallace is giving up irony and digging the riverbed for solid gold sincerity.

So what do I like about Deadsy? Well, the z-tar. I like their “Paint it Black” cover. I am intrigued by Elijah’s influences in the low registers as I tend to like same. I have a theory that Elijah and I were both fetuses inside deep-voiced women. My mother’s smoker’s voice puts Lauren Bacall to shame. While Elijah was in Cher’s womb and Cher was on TV shows singing 70s pop songs like "Rhinestone Cowboy," she must have sounded like a hump-back whale to little fetus Elijah. Possibly we are drawn to those sounds because we listened to them in the womb.

Also — Elijah rarely bad mouth’s his mother or his half-sister Chastity. I like that about him, too.