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Category: Scholarship In Action (Page 12 of 15)

The Bono Marriage Marketing Plan

Screenstars_2 Last year a PHD at the University of Southern California sent me a link to her thesis paper on how Sonny & Cher defined celebrity marriage as a marketing strategy. She uses Nick and Jessica as an example of a modern celebrity marriage that she says heralds back to Sonny & Cher. Although now I wonder if Liz Taylor and Richard Burton were also a couple-as-one-marketable-celebrity-entity, too. 

The copy of the paper I read was a longer, looser draft but essentially the same points were covered. The PHD student, Charisse L’Pree Corsbie-Massay, has now posted the essay on her website.

Her basic theory is that “the star couple creates its own marketing machine” which for S&C she dubs The Bono Plan. Star couples create their own unique celebrity entity. The marriage even helps solidify an individuals celebrity stature by giving them a safe-sex storyline and grounding their singular (sometimes scandalous) behaviors off-camera. Plus it’s all juicy biography material later on.

Okay, I’m making it sound more salacious than the theory really is. Although Corsbie-Massay  does quote someone named Dyer who says “Marriage is a perpetual tabloid scandal.”

Drawbacks of this plan include the fact that you have to let strangers into your private life, or some staged (in Cher’s variety-show case) or edited (in Jessica’s reality-how case) version thereof. But the result is that the audience feels included somehow in your personal space. In any case, you need a constant medium to transmit your couple brand: for Sonny & Cher TV show and tabloids and for Nick and Jessica TV show and tabloids.

But then the PHD brings in the big guns: somehow this whole marketing plan ends up solidifying sexist  cultural norms regarding husband and wife roles. In other words, the wife usually gets slotted “in her place” attempting to submit to the husband.  When I think of this theory in terms of Liz Taylor, it’s interesting how hard she seemed to fight that exact subservience.

In Cher’s case, she could be feminist on the show with her suggestive banter, but be a proper wife and mother off-camera. In fact Corsbie-Massay credits Cher with helping to “spearhead the women’s lib movement” on air and I would agree with that assessment. Through image and attitude and the show’s opening duologue storylines, Cher made a statement of breaking out of subservient roles, no matter what the private reality of their lives was behind closed doors. In the draft I read, Corsbie-Massay says Cher’s “role as a feminist icon is obvious.”  But here is where I think Cher actually gets short shift and is not often enough acknowledged for her role as a 70s independent feminist icon.

Corsbie-Massay provides a very interesting reading of Cher’s pre-variety-show biography with all it’s politics, counter-culturalism and early marketing strategies. And  her research weights on Peter Bogdanovich’s article from 1966 in The Saturday  Evening Post, one of the first scholarly-toned and critical piece on Cher. I know…Bogdanovich can be annoyingly cerebral and pompous, but the article is certainly worthy re-reading and an important piece on Cher, not only for the controversy regarding what it says about S&C but for that controversy’s impact on Cher and Bogdanovich’s relationship when he directed her in Mask.

It’s also interesting when Corsbie-Massay  discusses how S&C were different than Nick and Jessica, how they embraced their physical flaws and ethnicity (whereas Jessica and Nick tried to snuff theirs).

In the initial draft Corsbie-Massay also briefly discussed how Iranian women associated with Cher’s "swarthy complexion and powerful presence" and how they emulated her. I am dying to know more about this. How did their television show get to Iran in the first place? And Cher’s influence on women of color is also grossly under-evaluated.
   

CherCON

Tentative dates have been announced on the Cher Convention website, August 11 and 12, for the next Cher Convention. This will be the third in five conventions residing in Las Vegas, most likely at Caesars Palace near Cher’s hullabaloo.

When you check your calendar you will find these dates to be week days. I wonder if this will have an impact on attendance. That and the fact that major amounts of monies are going to be spent down the hall for concert tickets where you can actually see Cher live, in the flesh. It will be an interesting study in celebrity obsession to see how many Cher fans are willing to pay airfare, hotel, buy concert tickets, and spend extra vacation days for a convention in the process, and all during a recession.

East-coasters may also continue to gripe about the fact that the convention is 8 years old and has never yet gone east of Chicago. But hey, Cher’s in Vegas again. It makes sense to co-mingle a convention with her shows. Barry Manilow’s fans are doing just that with their conventions (and if you don’t know, I’ve been a long-time student, if not participant, in Barry Manilow fan conventions).

Let’s face it: being a Cher fan isn’t as expensive as being a KISS fan, but it’s certainly no bargain basement celebrity obsessing. 

    

Holy Smoke! A Political Cher Song

Handbasket I know it’s difficult to look into our Cher past when Cher future is so gloriously in front of us. But before the Vegas news broke, Cher Scholar JimmyDeanPartee (gypsy90028) contacted me to discuss the song from Cher’s 1979 album Prisoner “Holy Smoke” in order to see if this piece was still relevant to our troubled modern times.

With the political climate being what it is (see the Ben Sargent cartoon above): an unwanted war, soaring gas prices, the mortgage collapse, stock market woes, US religious-unrest – I do believe it is time to re-explicate this work composed by Michele Aller and Bob Esty. Maybe it will reinvigorate your ambitions to join the political process this year. Remember, it’s your right and it’s your duty.

I mean…come on, people died for you (not only in this war but back during the Revolution). Show them some love for your country and vote. I’ve never missed an election, even the stupid silly ones filled with Arnold Schwarzenegger propositions.

Holysmoke Holy Smoke

Where do we draw the line
on what’s going on   

(Well…you can vote.)

When do we take a stand
and demand to know the truth   

(Uh…about 8 years ago.)

Talk is cheap
Won’t get the problems solved

(Seriously, TV talking heads are not my biggest pet peeve. My real rage comes over those news sources who just print competing lies and fail to investigate the truth of any claims politicians make, giving American yokels the dangerous luxury of continuing to believe whatever cockamamie thing they want to. Case in point was a recent article on Yahoo! News where John McCain accused former Republican candidate Mitt Romney of flip-flopping on issues and Mitt Romney then denying it. No attempt was made to root out a very verifiable truth there: how often Romney did flip flop. Yahoo just presented both statements like a free outlet for them to do a pissing match, lie for lie. Talk is way cheap.)

We’re in too deep
Not to get involved

(If you think gas is expensive now…)

We got the sun for free 

(I never knew that’s what that line was. I guess I always thought it was: we get this song for free.)

So explain to me
Why gas is up a dollar

(More like two-and-a-half dollars.)

I gotta holler holy smoke

(Well, you can holler but as we’ve already ascertained: talk is cheap. Hollering is hillbilly.)

Oh, they say atomic power
could never hurt a flower
Holy smoke

(That flower-power rhyme sounds hippie-ish; Rush Limbach might accuse this song of being a left-wing conspiracy.)

Every quick solution
leads to more pollution
Holy smoke

They say they found the answer
breathing causes cancer

(Okay I thought she was singing: the reed that causes cancer…like smoking reeds…I know it’s stupid; but I was nine when this album came out!)

Holy smoke
All I can say is holy smoke

(clearly)

Why do we turn away
from what’s going on

(Because we’re lazy and celebrity obsessed.)

We’ll ever believe again
in those who hide the truth

Talk is cheap
Won’t get the problems solved
We’re in too deep
Not to get involved
Don’t throw it all a way
it’s easy enough to say

When gas is up a dollar
everybody holler holy smoke
They say atomic power
could never hurt a flower
Holy smoke

Fifty-five or faster
could drive us to disaster
Holy smoke

(I think Sammy Hagar would see the sarcasm in that line, too.)

If I say go on and shove it
The media would love it

(I would have said this wasn’t true anymore: young celebutard’s swear so often; but Cher swore on the Billboard Awards years ago and they made a federal case out of it. Cases in fact, case nos. 06-1760-ag (L), 06-2750-ag (CON), and 06-5358-ag (CON). Read the overview:  http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/06/11/fcc_profanity_ruling/)

Holy smoke
All I can say is holy smoke
Holy smoke

Where do we draw the line

(dramatic music)

When do we take a stand
Why do we turn away
We’ll ever believe again

Talk is cheap
Won’t get the problems solved
We’re in too deep
Not to get involved
Don’t throw it all away

It’s easy enough to say….repeat
Holy holy holy holy
All I can say is holy smoke!

    

Steve Martin: Born Standing Up

Martin (Jan 24, 2008, at The Wilshire Theater Beverly Hills)

Imagine my glee finding Steve Martin’s latest book, Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life, sitting in a stack at a Santa Monica bookstore and discovering that it was not another piece of fiction but a biography about his long-lost life as a stand-up comedian. And here I’ve been kvetching so much about his abandonment of the art form for more well-heeled work in academic theatricals intermingled with big-budget, saccharine movie turds. (I’ll take fifty Lonely Guys any day if we can just forget that movie with Queen Latifa ever happened.

My brothers and father would re-tell scenes of The Jerk at the dinner table. I knew the entire “he hates cans!” routine before I ever watched the movie like I knew “it’s only a flesh wound” years before watching Monty Python’s Holy Grail). My brother also had the King Tut Martin Steve Martin album which we both loved (the embezzling cat story, the France bits). However, my admiration of Martin didn’t survive past the movie Roxanne, which was so sweet it hurt my teeth. And his appearances on SNL and talk shows struck me as cold. Then he did that great Oscar hosting job and I was back yearning for his old days of stand up. Then the bad movies with too many weddings and kids and Goldie Hawn romances happened and I was put off again.

Let me tell you, Martin’s new book did wonders for showing a much warmer human being. And it’s a recommended read for his insight into how a comedy act is assembled, structured and crafted over years of sweat and experimentation, also delving into what it feels like on the other side of 40-thousand fans who know your routines by heart.

Good enough. But then it was announced that Steve Martin would be talking with Carol Burnett at a special event in LA at hosted by the group Writers Bloc. I was in heaven!

The theater was huge; the event was sold out so we had to sit in the balcony where I was too far away to ask my big Steve Martin question at the Q&A, which was: As a writing team for The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour, why didn’t more of Bob Einstein and Steve Martin’s early-70s brilliances end up on the show? Sonny & Cher’s show is now remembered as an amazing variety show…but not for its comedy. It’s loved for its eclectic guest roster, Bob Mackie costumes and torch musical numbers.
Even the opening monologue (the only comedic bit every discussed today) mostly succeeded on S&C chemistry.

Cher’s deadpan delivery is much-ballyhooed and somewhat interesting in a nightclub setting but not brilliant by any stretch of TV variety rubrics. In fact, her deadpan serves her music more effectively, which I talk about in my Cher Zine Vol. 2.

And Martin was working on some cutting-edge material at the time; his own act was about to explode. Bob Einstein was already doing Super Dave Osbourne on The John Byner Show.  I just don’t get it. What the heck happened? Did Martin and Bob hesitate to even share the more progressive comedy pieces or did they hoard their best stuff? Did producers Chris Bearde and Alan Blye or even Sonny Bono veto the more risky ideas? The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour could have been so much better. Or maybe Martin would have been more successful working across the hallway of CBS Studio City writing for The Carol Burnett Show.

Who’s to blame? I want names.

Asked what bits Martin did for The Smothers Bros Show (one of Martin’s writing gigs before S&C), he joked that “all the best stuff you remember…I wrote that.” But alas, for the S&C show there was no best stuff. The comedy was weak and I can barely generate a chuckle or two watching it today. Carol Burnett routines are still interesting and often funny. But Steve Martin’s late 70s stand-up material as found on his records and movies like The Jerk – holds up admirably. It’s the definition of lost opportunity in my little book.

I imagine it was a difference in comedic taste between Martin and Sonny and others on the show. Because Martin never waxes happily about his experiences working on their show and mentions it rarely as even a career footnote. In fact, it’s the show that inspired the end of his television writing career. In his book, he only mentions the show with one anecdote and not a very positive one. He describes being approached by Sonny and his friend, manager, business partner Denis Pregnolato. They met with Martin one day to express an interest in developing a show entirely around him.

Which is an interesting idea because it hearkens back to Sonny’s phase of mega-media mogulship and also makes you wonder why he never did launch any other major show business project that didn’t involve Cher.

The sad thing was that Martin was excited about the idea and Sonny and Denis never brought it up again. At the end of the anecdote I wasn’t sure if Martin’s point was that Sonny and Dennis were hair-brained and couldn’t get ‘er done or that they were never really serious about the venture in the first place.

At one point, Burnett explained how she wanted to share good comedic material with her co-stars and second-bananas Vicki Lawrence and Harvey Korman. She learned this on The Gary Moore Show, that spreading the laughs made the show stronger, hoarding them made the show weaker. This also reflects negatively on the Sonny & Cher shows where bit players like Teri Garr got not even bare scraps for punch lines. Garr mostly did non-stop set-up work as Olivia in the Laverne sketches. Once in a great moon Ted Zeigler would over-mug a joke but that’s about it.

The closest Burnett  got to mentioning The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour, an immensely popular variety series at the time Martin and Burnett were working at CBS, was when Burnett rhapsodized about how much fun they were all having with all the variety shows in full swing in the CBS building. Martin only added a story about a nutty comedian he would always overhear in the bathroom.

As far as Cher connections, Martin also mentioned meeting Frank Oz on his Muppet Show appearances (Martin was on the TV show with Carol Burnett and in the inaugural Muppet Movie) and forming a life-long professional relationship with Oz who went on to direct some of Martin’s movies. Interestingly, Cher didn’t get along with Frank Oz on the set of Mermaids where there were rumors that Cher actually had Oz fired somehow. In any case, Oz left in anger and went on to direct What About Bob. Now although Frank Oz doesn’t sound like a great Muppet-of-fun-joy to me either, I have to be honest here, What About Bob was a funnier movie.

There was on irritating aspect of this “conversation” between Burnett and Martin and it was Carol Burnett. Press lead us to believe this would be talk about Martin’s new book. Burnett however seemed disinterested in interviewing Martin at best, dead set against asking any questions at worst, letting dead silence hang in the air instead of doing any work. She asked him probably a total of two questions, both lame. One question was who his favorite movie star was. This turned into an excuse for her to segue, with neck-breaking speed, into an anecdote about that particular movie star, Cary Grant and how Grant loved her show. Frankly, she seemed only motivated to tell Carol Burnett Show anecdotes about herself.

Her other question to Martin was about how he started out as a TV writer which only betrayed the fact that she hadn’t read the book or even done a quick IMDB or Wikipedia search for a brief timeline on his career.

To Martin’s credit, he made gentlemanly (as in gentle) attempts to keep the conversation going, respectfully taking the piss out of Burnett’s strange reluctance to engage in any real “conversation” about comedy. At one point Martin joked, “I DARE you to ask me a question.” She never really did.

And it pains me to complain about Burnett because she is one of my comedic idols along with Steve Martin and Harvey Korman. I believe The Carol Burnett Show was one of the three most influential comedies of the 70s (along with The Mary Tyler Moore Show and All in the Family) and a landmark moment for women in comedy and a variety show of superior quality. And she deserves to be knighted for that. But the truth is, she hasn’t done anything worthy of knighthood since then (although I loved her in Annie and The Four Seasons).

And I’ve heard all the Carol Burnett anecdotes many times, have taped all the reunion specials, read her autobiography (One More Time) her biography (Laughing Till It Hurts by J. Randy Taraborrelli).

Steve Martin has been far less available for public introspections of this kind. It would have garnished Burnett extra kudos for showing some interest in this comedic trailblazer she was sitting next to.
Instead she came off as Hollywood, as a self-absorbed scene-stealer. And too make matters worse, her anecdotes took too long to perform. She sunk too many details into each story, making sure we knew the name of every person in the business she ever worked with or talked to. I kept thinking “can we get back to Steve please?”

On the other hand, Martin was accessible and pleasant with the fan Q&As and showed true affection for Burnett. I wished he would have showed more interest in contemporary comedians, however, when asked for his favorites. His disinterest in even knowing the names of his most recent famous co-workers felt a little isolationist.

But I’ve come a far ways if that’s the worst thing I could say about Steve Martin. His book went a long way to showing a person with flesh and feelings, portraying a modest, thankful kid from Orange County after years of seeming affected and quietly arrogant.

View photos of the event.

      

Sonny & Cher on Shindig

737973_356x237_2 Have Sonny & Cher ever played with the Stones?

Hell yeah!

This is my second installment on the fabulous 60s TV appearance DVD I received from a stranger in the mail after an eBay purchase: this is The Shindig Episodes.

On one episode we find S&C, Bobby Sherman, The Rolling Stones and lot of other peeps I didn’t know. First of all, Cher was in a jumper. A jumper! Sonny in a suit. They do a medley, a crazy jam…with the cast and The ROLLING STONES! Shindig_3

Totally happening! Super groovy!

Could this host, Jimmy O’Neill, (right) be any more dapper?

S&C don new outfits where they sing “We’re Gonna Make It,” a clip that has been making the rounds of email and Cher list postings over the last two years; I reviewed this clip back in November – the highlights:

Here’s a clip of Sonny & Cher singing "We’re Gonna Make It." Wow! First of all, didn’t we associate that song with the Allman and Woman album. Sonny & Cher did it too? Just like "You Really Got a Hold on Me." Was Cher trying to recreate Sonny & Cher with Allman duets? It seems so beyond comprehension…or did Sonny & Cher cover so many friggin songs it would be impossible not to re-cover her covers? …it would be hard to top this version. Bobby Sherman, that ridiculous dance, the screaming kids, the sudden appearance and disappearance of backup singers (if it wasn’t the 60s I’d think they were CGI’d in there), Sonny going absolutely crazy at the end. Wow!

The clip has since been taken off YouTube. (sad face) Find it…it’s unlike any other S&C clip I’ve ever seen. Back in November, fellow Cher Scholar, Robrt Pela of the Arizona New Times among other things wrote to say:

I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS CLIP COULD POSSIBLY EXIST.

I mean, this looks way early, circa "Look at Us," and it just doesn’t make sense that they would use crucial TV time at that point to do a song that a) they hadn’t recorded and b) therefore weren’t promoting.

How is this clip POSSIBLE?

This DVD brought me the answer to that very important and mysterious question: why indeed were Sonny & Cher wasting valuable airtime to scat? And Robrt was very astute to recognize the clip as a promotion for their first album. I look at all these 60s videos and get confused. Unless i see her bangs starting to grow out (see top pic) and only then I can identify it as late-decade.

Anyway, this was filler material for "I Got You Babe" promotion.  S&C do "IGUB" later in the show…with props. Cher is in one of her Good Times outfits, the ruffle-covered bell bottom outfit from "Trust Me" where she skips around LA. Interestingly, this Shindig performance of "IGUB" is excruciatingly shortened and you don’t see Cher’s face for much of it.

Sonny then sings "Laugh At Me." At first I thought it was his usual bad lip-syncing but then I realized he was trying to sing over the record! (Cher Scholar shakes head)

In another Shindig episode, S&C star with Aretha Franklin, Marianne Faithful and The Kinks. I don’t remember any groovy American-Idol style medley but I do remember Sammy Davis Jr. making maudlin over current hits. Marianne looks completely uncomfortable and bored. S&C sing "It’s Gonna Rain" and Cher sings "Dream Baby" – both are sung live. I’m surprised how often "Dream Baby" was promoted on Shindig and Shivaree.

In the next segment Sonny dresses like Caesar and Cher like Cleo. I couldn’t place the song for the life of me but Cher looks great in her dress and they’ve got ‘a look’ even with her stringy hair and their big noses. It’s fun to see Sonny make her laugh.

Then the host, Sammy Davis Jr., introduces the pick of the week, "IGUB," calling it a masterpiece and outa sight. Cher wears her union-jack-fit. Why does Sonny shake his head like that when he sings. Cher has an epileptic moment at the end and then PDA. Eewwww!

To cleanse yourself, you may want to look for Cher in this long ABBA retrospective video: Terishivaree_2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz_1g9kwBUM

Although Shindig Cher clips are not available at the moment on YouTube, here is a hilarious Rollings Stones clip from around that time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXb5UL0dwLc

And before I was mentioning Teri Garr was a dancer on Shindig and Shivaree. Here’s a pic (I think she’s on the far right).

   

Sonny & Cher on Shivaree

Chershivaree_2 I purchased an item on eBay late last year and as a very special gift (RONCO anyone?) I received a DVD of old 60s Sonny & Cher appearances on shows like Shindig and Shivaree. Was I in heaven?! I kept looking for Teri Garr go-go dancing in the background (as she worked on these shows as a dancer between 1964-1966). I still think it is odd that Garr worked for years for Sonny & Cher in the 70s and never once mentioned running into them on those 60s shows. Because it seems like they made a ton of appearances there.

I’ll just start with the Shivaree episodes this week which were grainy on my DVD copy but wonderful to see nonetheless, amazingly raw. (The dancers are pitiful on this show, by the way.)

I watched two episodes with Sonny & Cher, one where they sat back-to-back singing “Just You” and then stood on a balcony full of dancing teens to sing “Sing C’est La Vie.” Cher wore a very conservative shirt, similar to what she wore on the album cover of Look At Us. Which is, quite frankly, a bizarre thing to see — Cher in a normal teen piece of clothing. Nothing hippie-like or scandalous about that green t-shirt.

Cher also sang “Dream Baby” solo on one show (in some funky, skin-tight paisley pants) and “All I Really Want to Do” with some equally funky Cher-style dance moves. She seems very shy and young in these clips but does fine without Sonny. At the end of the Cher-solo episode it’s fun to watch the credits where you can see Cher dancing in a crowd of guests — in what looks like the last moves of anonymous carefree-ness she would ever make. So un-self conscious.

Watch the YouTubes:

Sonny & Cher doing “Just You”

Cher doing “Dream Baby”

Cher doing “All I Really Want to Do"

I can’t find the Shivaree credit clips or the "Sing C’est La Vie" clip which is too bad because it’s ridiculous when the MC camps as a Frenchman. By the way, when I was first chatting with my bf almost three years ago on match.com, I found out he was a former Proust scholar. We hadn’t met yet mind you and he was such a effortless and enthusiastic emailer. I thought he was gay. Heterosexual men write really dull emails IMHO. Anyway, I told him Sonny & Cher were once really into the French. And he said he had, coincidentally, just borrowed a copy of Sonny & Cher’s greatest hits at the library and he was very bemused by the song "Sing C’est La Vie." I found copies of it all over the YouTubes:

Sing Cest La Vie the video!

On Barbara McNair

On Mike Douglas 1969
     

Happy New Year!

Giorgio_moroder Take a deep breath everyone; it’s a new year. Last year was pretty good I must say, bumps aside. Took some good trips, made some money for a change, experienced career advancement, published some poems, made some pots, blogged about the Chermeister.

Ugh. I hate when people do that to proper names. I really do. Please accept my first apology of the new year. So far, it has been an uneventful one. My boyfriend (who stuck with me through the last weeks of moving drama) was sick over New Years just as I was starting to get back into the groove after the move from Venice to Redondo Beach. I was a whiny lump of exhaustion the whole time. We now have a yard (a patch of grass just screaming “I need a dog”), a garage to store all my Cher crap in and an extra meditation/martial arts room. Ahhhh – so nice! Only bad news: no kitchen counter space. My mother will be upset when she visits this year but we will deal.

This was my major Cher-thought over the holiday as I was listening to The Very Best of Cher (I played it about seven times — very much a coping exercise as I was hauling my own furniture down the Pacific Coast Highway in Bluebelle, my Chevy Cavalier.

Cover_foxes The Cher-thought: Who would have guessed a match up between Cher and Giorgio Moroder would turn out to be so boring? I’m speaking of the song “Bad Love” of course from the Foxes soundtrack. I mean, what a kewl early-80s match-up to be made in a post-disco-pre-new-wave sort of heaven? It was such a particular musical era between Donna Summer and Duran Duran, a time where Flashdance was king Cher was mostly MIA. What a dud that song turned out to be. I don’t blame the songwriting skillz of Cher (which I kind of dig, frankly) or Moroder-magic. Solid building blocks for something off the charts, right? Am I right? I guess the irony is these gargantuan parts managed to sabotage the actual sum of those parts.

   

TV Land Greatest TV Icons

Cherbodies I’m gonna be sporadic with my blog postings in December. Which sucks because I have LOTS to talk about, a veritable backlog of Cher-chat to share. People have been sending me really good Cher stuff I must say: a critical USC analysis of the Bono marriage marketing plan and a DVD full of 60s S&C performances to discuss. But life happens. My ceramics class is ending (much to do) and I just found out I’ll need to move this month (due to rehabbing that will be done to our apartment building), plus I have company in town this weekend and Christmas on the horizon. But stay tuned.

Today I just want to say how disgusted I am with Entertainment Weekly and TV Land’s list of 100 Greatest TV Icons. The list is breathtakingly disorganized and illogical and Cher is ridiculously low in its rankings. At  the turn of the millennium, Cher ended up on many best-of entertainment lists. I felt her rankings were usually fair – even if they weren’t top 30. The fact that she made a music list here or there at all was a good sign of things to come. But on the television list, Cher should have been ranked much higher, in the top 50 at least. Entertainment Weekly and TV Land didn’t even bother to discuss the bottom 50 in the magazine or TV special. So annoying.

Here’s the list. I’m fine with the top ten but I’ve noted rankings that warranted extra comment.

100. Marcia Cross
99. Delta Burke
98. Meredith Baxter
97. In Living Color cast
96. Shannen Doherty – give me a break
95. Richard Dawson
94. Melissa Gilbert
93. Neil Patrick Harris – come ON
92. Judge Judy
91. Dennis Franz
90. John Stamos – why is he even on this list?
89. Robert Guillaume
88. Gavin MacLeod
87. Phil Hartman
86. Jerry Mathers
85. Rod Serling
84. Cartman from "South Park"
83. Isabel Sanford
82. Ted Knight
81. Dick Cavett
80. Adam West
79. Angela Landsbury
78. Art Carney
77. James Garner
76. Candice Bergen
75. Peter Falk
74. Joan Rivers
73. Tony Danza
72. Cher – travesty of justice
71. Rosie O’Donnell – sure she’s making a stir now but I predict she will not have such long-term impact. She is not in the league of Phil Donahue or Oprah and The View fiasco will soon be just a Hollywood footnote.
70. Bob Denver  – Gilligan maybe; Bob no.
69. Barbara Eden – Genie maybe
68. Don Cornelius
67. Tom Selleck
66. Kelsey Grammer – great sitcom actor among other great sitcom actors. He shouldn’t be higher than Ted Knight.
65. Pamela Anderson – you’re kidding me with this
64. Phil Donahue
63. Ed Asner – an no Chloris Leachman??
62. Redd Foxx
61. Pee Wee Herman – should be toward the bottom of the list
60. Merv Griffin
59. Ted Danson – see Kelsy Grammer
58. Don Knotts
57. Charlie Brown
56. Betty White – and no Chloris Leachman??
55. Fred Rogers – should be way higher
54. Florence Henderson
53. Ed McMahon – if he’s here, Jerry Lewis should be here and who wants that?
52. Ron Howard – Opie maybe
51. Bob Hope
50. Larry Hagman – see Kelsey Grammer
49. Calista Flockhart – I bang my head against my keyboard on this one
48. Jimmy Smits – this list is totally un-credible now
47. Simon Cowell
46. Lassie
45. Sarah Michelle Gellar – 90s star; wont last another 10 years I predict
44. Susan Lucci
43. Flip Wilson
42. James Gandolfini – his longevity is possible but remains to be seen
41. Jon Stewart
40. Sally Field
39. Jennifer Aniston – see Kelsey Grammer
38. Bea Arthur – see Kelsey Grammer
37. George Clooney – for Facts of Life???
36. Diahann Carroll
35. Michael J. Fox
34. Bob Barker
33. Ellen DeGeneres – fascinating but no icon yet she isn’t
32. Henry Winkler
31. Sarah Jessica Parker – see Kelsey Grammer
30. Alan Alda
29. John Ritter – I always liked John Ritter but I’m amazed he made it this high…could barely get a good gig while he was alive
28. Howard Cosell
27. Regis Philbin
26. Farrah Fawcett
25. Heather Locklear
24. Michael Landon
23. Barbara Walters
22. Milton Berle
21. Kermit 
20. Carroll O’Connor
19. Andy Griffith
18. William Shatner
17. Bob Newhart
16. David Letterman
15. "Not Ready for Primetime Players" – have sucked longer than they rocked
14. Ed Sullivan
13. Jackie Gleason
12. Dick Van Dyke
10. Dick Clark
9. Homer Simpson
8. Jerry Seinfeld
7. Mary Tyler Moore
6. Carol Burnett
5. Walter Cronkite
4. Bill Cosby – love and respect his comedy albums (didn’t hate the Cosby Show but shouldn’t be so high for his 2 television shows; stand-up maybe; if this list is trying to be affirmative action, he still should be higher than Flip Wilson. I’m willing to discuss this one though; did he pave the way for more African American programming? Or did he just end up sending them all to the WB?
3. Oprah Winfrey
2. Lucille Ball
1. Johnny Carson

So that’s the atrocious list. Here is a sketch of my alternate rankings

1. Johnny Carson – dork but okay – he’s Mr. Television
2. Lucy  – and Desi – stupid to leave off Desi when many of the I Love Lucy conventions were his ideas
3. Oprah – has virtual control over our souls
4. Phil Donahue – father of the talk show
5. Walter Cronkite
6. Carol O’ Connor – redefined acceptable sitcom characters
7. Ed Sullivan – father of variety
8. Kermit – symbol of children’s television programming
9. Milton Berle – – hate him but he’s a TV pioneer
10. Barbara Walters – ick but you think of woman reporter on TV and there she is
11. Homer – longest running television show
12. Jackie Gleason – helped define TV sitcoms
13. Dick Clark – helped define half-hour music programming
14. Bob Barker – the face of game shows
15. Howard Cosell – the face of sports

Basically, the top 20 should be for the ultimate TV pioneers or those who symbolize a genre of television.

The 20-30 range should be for landmark shows: Roseanne, Mary Tyler Moore, Carol Burnett, Dick Van Dyke represent the classic show.

The 30-40 range can be reserved for celebrities who were iconic style figures, people who influenced fashion or TV style for a goodly time. Cher would fall toward the top of this range; Farrah to the bottom (as she was just a poster of good hair when all is said and done). I feel Cher conquered 70s television and for that she deserves to be ranked near Flip Wilson. I’d put her in the top 30 for sure. No kid in the 70s wasn’t enamored by Cher on TV at some point in the 70s: budding feminists, the toddler gay community, and aspiring baby divas.

Workhorses who excelled in more than one show should appear in the 50-75 range: Ted Danson, Heather Locklear, Ed Asner.

Odds and ends who we somehow love but really didn’t display much discernible talent should fall in the 75-90 range: Ron Howard as Opie, Bob Denver as Gilligan.

Late breaking favorites should be relegated to the bottom because they may have promise but they haven’t exhibited longevity yet: James Gandolfini, Rosie O’Donnell. Ellen DeGeneres

Please, send me your thoughts.

   

Has Cher lived up to her Oscar? (And is that a mean thing to say?)

Cheroscar I finally got around to viewing this Cher interview from Norway posted by YouTube Master Tyler many moons ago. The picture quality is very fuzzy but the content is pretty interesting.

Cher talks about shopping for clothes in Oslo. I wish I had such a passion for shopping for clothes. Anyone who sees me knows instantly I have no passion for looking put together.

Cher talks about “Believe” being her biggest song to date and how funny it is that the lyrics are so sad but the track so upbeat. Did she really say track? Like it’s karaoke? This reminds me of the Poco song that always bothered me, "Call it Love" – a song that makes you feel very happy until you realize you should be depressed instead.

Cher again comments that her year 40 was her best year – a year when work, love-life and still having the kids at home all aligned in a pleasant manner.

The Norwegian interviewer asked what bores her. A very unusual question. She answered that she has a very short attention span and likes to make everything into a game, that she tends to be childish that way and doesn’t like doing grownup things, like “business crap.” She says she has a rebellious teenager in her and can be very stubborn. Her whole she has fought for the right to do things, she says, and it’s hard for her to know when she’s being obstinate and bull-headed. I wonder if maybe this is why so many projects fall through.

She talked about her first David Letterman appearance, how she needed to pay a 28k hotel bill and the show only wanted to pay scale ($600). They relented only to have Cher call Letterman an asshole on camera. Cher said she was reluctant to appear before because Letterman had a reputation of being mean to his guests. Old story but I find her note of someone else’s meanness suddenly interesting in this interview.

The interviewer talked about her movie If These Walls Could Talk and called it “the anti-abortion” movie. What? That movie tried to show multiple view points and I don’t quite understand how it could be construed as anti-abortion…even by Norwegians. In any case, Cher states that none of her actresses wanted to do the script and she asked them to trust her, not as a director but as an actress. She said they could say whatever they wanted to as long as they got the feeling across and Cher admitted to them “I wouldn’t say that crap.” Ouch. That might sound kinda mean to the writer who wrote that script.

Cher also delved into the very real harrows of being famous, having to ensure photographers can’t film through her house windows, having to shred all her trash and papers. One anecdote had Cher visiting Olivera Street in downtown Los Angeles with Chastity and autograph hounds holding them up. Chastity apparently said “I hate going anywhere with you.” I had that same conversation with my mother once but it wasn’t over paparazzi; it was over her chiding me for not having more passion in shopping for clothes.

In any case, another sucky thing about being a celebrity, Cher says, is having interview comments misconstrued and how the media is often mean-spirited. Hmm – that mean word again.

Then Cher called Bill Clinton’s paramour, Monica Lewinsky "a very ugly girl." I don’t think Cher would get many guests if she hosted a talk show either. She can be plenty mean.

Cher did however give a brilliant explanation regarding how annoying America can sometimes be:

“We’re a strange country…we have aspirations that we cannot meet…we’re like a bad teenager, too many hormones raging a lot of the time. We mean well and we have great energy…we’re just not quite soup yet.”

Also of note, Cher talked about the Oscar, about once seeking revenge through fashion after being criticized for the way she dressed and dating men too young, and about the night she won the Academy Award for Moonstruck in 1987, about meeting Audrey Hepburn that night and feeling light on her feet as a result, and about how she lost her earring and said ‘shit’ inappropriately. An inappropriate shit? I wonder what she thinks about her use of the word Fuck that has caused so much brouhaha lately with US media and courts.

Speaking of Oscar, in an LA Times article on November 7 entitled “The Oscar Jinks” Cher is listed in a small group of actors who have not lived up to the promise of winning a statue.  An Oscar implies you are the best, the article states. Problems with some post-Oscar careers include:

a. Some actors play the same roles over and over again (Olympia Dukakis and Joe Pesci were cited for this). I think Cher plays tough chick way too often – which is why I like Suspect so much – but I really don’t think Oscar-watchers sense this about Cher. I don’t think it’s a huge issue. I just personally would like to see her take on more vulnerable characters.

b. Some actors have earned a reputation for being difficult and so are not sought out for better roles. All the messy Mermaids press rings a bell here…and Cher’s admission of being obstinate often.

c. Sometimes the parts themselves win the Oscars (F. Murray Abraham as Sallieri in Amadeus, Patty Duke as Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker and Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoos’ Nest were cited as examples). I definitely don’t think this is an issue for Cher. If anything, I think she won the Moonstruck-era Oscar for her accumulation of great performances in the previous years, her most beloved role being in Mask. I’d almost say it was a delayed win for Mask as much as for Moonstruck. And the character didn’t overshadow her performance in either case.

The article admitted it might be better for one’s career to be simply nominated than to actually win a trophy. In most cases I guess. Wins surely didn’t derail Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep or Katharine Kevinspacey_2Hepburn.

Other disappointing winners according to the list: Liza Minnelli, Roberto Benigni, Whoopi Goldberg, Mira Sorvino, and Kim Bassinger with added mention given to Halle Berry, Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey, and Cuba Gooding Jr.

A few weeks ago, my bf won a bet with me that he couldn’t hand sew his own frontier pants. He threw a party to celebrate the making of his pants. At right is a picture of him at his pants party looking like Kevin Spacey.
   

New Sonny & Cher Compilations

Tin
September 2007 gave us two new Sonny & Cher compilations. I was a little hesitant to buy Forever Sonny and Cher by Warner Custom Products because I could find no picture online. I’ve been burned before on these fly-by-night compilation CDs. But then it arrived and I was so excited. The CD comes in a tin! A Sonny & Cher tin!! Glory-be! The booklet inside is pretty spartan (considering it comes in a tin!) and spells Cher’s last name Lapierre and calls her an aspiring singer. But there was a picture in there I hadn’t seen before with Sonny & Cher lying on the floor of their house, Sonny in what looks like snake skin boots. This is one of those rare pictures showing Sonny in mustache and Cher still in her 60s bangs.

The compilation itself however is a bit crazy. The tin (a tin!) comes with three CDs, all with different labels, the last one being extra copies of that bad compilation from the 1990s All I Ever Need is You – a title which still confounds Allmusic guide. They think the 90s compilation is the same as the original 70s studio album. See, they’re not so smart.

The first two CDs catalog some S&C 60s hits but is by no means comprehensive or educational. Sprinkled in are some sub-hits and a few B-side rarities ("Good Combination," "Have I Stayed Too Long," "Love Is Strange" and oddly one of Sonny’s LP songs "Revolution Kind"). And there is an unusual representation of S&C songs from their freshman album Look At Us.  The third disc picks up with S&C in the 70s and is the aforementioned left-over copies of All I Ever Need Is You including the misleading error that you will hear a version of "United We Stand" live. Back in the 90s I was so excited to read that when I plucked the CD out of a Tower Records bin in Yonkers, New York. But it was just a lie.

Disc: 1 
1. I Got You Babe 
2. Little Man 
3. Just You 
4. Good Combination 
5. But You’re Mine 
6. Beat Goes On 
7. Have I Stayed Too Long 
8. Beautiful Story 
9. It’s the Little Things 
10. What Now My Love 

Disc: 2 
1. Baby Don’t Go 
2. Laugh at Me [Sonny Solo] 
3. Living for You 
4. Love Is Strange 
5. 500 Miles 
6. Revolution Kind [Sonny Solo] 
7. Let It Be Me 
8. Unchained Melody 
9. Then He Kissed Me 
10. You Really Got a Hold on Me 

Disc: 3 
1. All I Ever Need Is You 
2. Cowboy’s Work Is Never Done 
3. When You Say Love 
4. Mama Was a Rock and Roll Singer and Papa Used to Write All Her Songs 
5. You Better Sit Down Kids 
6. Crystal Clear/Muddy Waters 
7. Beat Goes On 
8. I Got You Babe 
9. United We Stand 
10. Bang, Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) 

Classics
The tin compilation however turned out to be quite normal compared to Sonny & Cher Classics released by Rhino Flashback records. This one is compilation very similar to the one Rhino Flashback did a few years ago I Got You Babe with S&C playing bongos on a red and white checkered background. This compilation spells her last name La Piere and contains only one S&C hit: "Baby Don’t Go." The other hit is Sonny’s "Laugh at Me" and the rest is a few aforementioned B-sides similar to the other compilation and again lots of Look At Us material.

At the end of the day these compilations make no sense, have no cohesion and contain negligible rarities.

Disc  Tracks:
1. Baby Don’t Go. 
2. Laugh At Me 
3. Living For You. 
4. Love Is Strange. 
5. 500 Miles. 
6. Revolution Kind, The
7. Let It Be Me. 
8. Unchained Melody. 
9. Then He Kissed Me. 
10. You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me. 

But I do enjoy rediscovering "500 Miles," the song they did made famous by Peter, Paul & Mary. 

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