a division of the Chersonian Institute

Category: That’s The Obsession Talking (Page 5 of 5)

Star of Sonny

This week’s news is that Cher helped her sister purchase a modest home in Malibu – which is not to say they paid a modest amount for it. I figure maybe too many girl fights ensued in Cher master bathroom and so Georgeanne and her husband had to move out. Or maybe Georgette ate the last dollop of Haagen Dazs one too many times. Cher World has the news post.

This is unfortunate news. Not because it’s bad news but because it’s not important news. Now Cher-sister and Cher brother-in-law will have less privacy and more Cher-peripheral gawking from drive-bys.

Peripherals, especially peripherals who have chosen to lead non-celebrity lives (okay, she married Michael Madsen first and was on General Hospital as a young lass…but that was years ago) should be afforded more space than peripherals who are seeking to crack the Entertainment Industrial Complex, as Maureen Orth might put it.

Interestingly, Cher and her only sibling seem to have a close, collaborative relationship. But I’m just not as fascinated by this aspect of Cher’s life, at least not as much as other celebrity-obsessed folk are. I guess if you were Cher’s biographer, these details would be crucial and I have no doubt (believe me) that family members play a role in your creative and business decisions to a far greater degree than we would all expect or like to admit.

So I’m not saying Cher’s relationships aren’t pertinent factors, they just aren’t particular interests of mine in a way that whatever arguments between Sonny Bono and Snuff Garret during the All I Ever Need is You recording session had on the final outcome of the album are.

I’ve talked about this before on Ape Culture, right after I attended the first Cher Con and realized there was something different about me.  Here I was so excited to have found other Cher fans out there…finally. And yet, we didn’t quite click. I blame myself.

I categorize the celebrity obsessed into three camps: 1) those in love, clearly the worst; 2) those in illusionary friendship – obsessed with meeting the celebrity and knowing what is going on in their lives at any given moment – not healthy either due to its delusive nature; and 3) those who are obsessed with all the stuff and analyzing the stuff in ridiculously exhaustive ways. The later would be me. I would argue that this is the healthiest, aside from its conspicuous consumption aspect. But then I’m partial to my own delusions of rationality.

I’m much less interested in who Cher goes to dinner with, where she gets her tacos from or what brand of mud mask she puts on her face. I’m not going to run out and buy Dr. Pepper or the books she reads or the perfume she wears. It’s just too much intrusion on my time and identity; forget about hers. And besides, with the blog , the website, the 25 boxes of memorabilia in my parents’ basement 300 miles away in Amish Country, haven’t I put my myself and my family through enough?

Some peripherals, however, are of note: children involved in entertainment or spokesperson sorts of professions and lovers who have done creative projects with Cher…which pretty much includes them all: Sonny Bono, David Geffen, Gregg Allman, Gene Simmons, Les Dudek, and Rob Camilletti (a name I will never learn to spell) in a cameo sort of way. If they didn’t help produce any Cher product (Val Kilmer) or if no Cher product refers to them, my interest wanes.

Geffen helped transition Cher from one half of a duo to solo artist extraordinaire. Gregg Allman’s role was far less direct. He inadvertently exacerbated Cher’s tabloid presence (as if her divorce didn’t get enough ink). He also contributed to an aborted concert tour, appearances on her TV shows (as a guest or via his progeny), and an unlikely but well-made studio album. His presence and drug issues also disrupted Cher’s output and schedule during the late 70s.

But of all personal relationships, Sonny is the most crucial. He was the creative developer of Cher version 1 and 2.0. You could make another matrix of Cher’s distinct work phases based on him: 1) Cher with Sonny (early 1960s to 1973); 2) Cher rebels against Sonny (1974 to 1998); and 3) Cher post-Sonny (1998 to present – there’s not so much to rebel against in this phase and she seems almost more professionally at peace).

Sonny Bono’s Walk of Fame star in Palm Springs was rededicated in early April.  It was first placed in May of 1996, a few years before his death. A Cher fan posted the AP story recently in a Yahoo! group. We Cher freaks missed it as we were too busy fruitlessly discussing whether or not Cher will work Vegas next year and how soon we are going to be able to pre-order the new Barbie dolls.

Reading this news reminded me that In 8 months Sonny will have been dead 10 years. I can’t believe it. Apparently Cher sent an audio message to Palm Springs for the re-dedication ceremony that none of the AP reports saw fit to quote.

I wasn’t able to find a great picture of his star online…but I did pictures of his $100,000 statue which looms nearby at 155 S. Palm Canyon Drive. Here it a Monet-like Impressionistic study of the statue at different times of day.

Is he wearing a jumper?

Fullpants



Version in the night-time

Nighttime_2



Version in close-up color

Statuecolor



Shot from below

Frombelow

 

Longer Sonny re-dedication story in The Desert Sun paper.

YouTube Overdose

EdgarbigheadYesterday was a hard day, a real hard day. I woke up from a night of crazy dreams, including one where I was stuck in a haunted house with The Edgar Winter Dog (pictured right). In the dream, the house kept shifting itself around so that my bedroom window, normally facing the backyard, was suddenly facing the street. What could that mean about my psychological state?

The past few weeks and days have been an endless stream of discouraging poetry project news which is making me feel pathetically sorry for myself. I’m suffocatingly behind on all of my projects and overbooked socially (Although I loved them, I can’t face anymore grind house festival movies). I needed some R&R time, some me time. Then my new iPod spontaneously broke itself. The last song it ever played was "Take Me Home." It wouldn’t surprise me if the thing went on Cher-strike. I didn’t even get a chance to upload the new John Waite song I had downloaded from iTunes, "Universal Soldier."  A great new song but very depressing! Hence, I was a muddled heap of inert despondency by mid-day.

So what did I do? I drowned my sorrows in Cher Scholar tasks. I posted two blog entries and uploaded the remaining Ask Cher Scholar Q&As from Zine 2 (including information on what to do with your 401(k) and how to increase your vocabulary).

After that I tried to peruse Cher clips on YouTube. The more I found the more I was finding. I found I couldn’t digest them all –  while watching one treasure, I would get distracted by another cool gem.

Which reminds me of a recurring dream I had as a young impressionable tween. I’d be in a used record store and I would find all these rare Sonny & Cher albums. Either I wouldn’t have any money or I’d lose the album among all the other records in the bins before making it to the cash register. This whole YouTube search felt like an flashback.

Maybe it’s technology that’s making me feel unhinged. While posting the Ask Cher Scholars, my version of MS Publisher had to be re-loaded. I went to a friend’s house for dinner and she couldn’t get her Tivo to work with her new HD TV. With my iPod suddenly becoming corrupted, I was feeling suddenly strangled by technology. And too much information.

YouTube is now a phenomenal source for getting rare video footage of your favorite things. And that’s where the some fabulous Cher magic really is – in the video clips. The Michael Dougles interview with the flowered headpiece…Cher is blooming herself. My Heart Belongs To Daddy is another great energetic early 80s performance I didn’t even know existed. Re-watching Cher call David Letterman an asshole, it’s all golden.

This all should have been an early evening of fun for me but I was too much in a funk about the too-much-ness I was facing. A kid in a candy store suddenly over-sugared. And still today, I feel too scattered to concentrate. And strangely powerless and small. But then if I give up into it…it feels kind of chaotically peaceful.

That’s it. I’m losing my mind.

Kiss and Make Up

Movieworld76april_1Okay. I feel bad about my last post. I’m sorry. I’ve been there, man. Once I told my family I was skipping vacation with them in order to camp out for tickets to a John Waite show. That obsessive moment is still part of family lore. However, my worst story took place when I was 13 or 14 years old. I freaked out when my Dad couldn’t get the VCR working to tape Cher on The Phil Donahue Show. The show was airing and not only was our VCR on the fritz, but so was the cable!I thought I was in the third circle of Hell. I had a bona fide conniption fit. My father calmly walked out of the room and refused to fix or repair anything for me for a year! I learned my lesson. Don’t freak out at the person trying to help you tape Cher on The Phil Donahue Show. Years later I saw a bootleg copy of the show. And believe me, finally watching it didn’t cause any revelations in my life; but I love collecting Cher stuff, there is no doubt. I am, myself, obsessed. I too am an introverted soul who has, in times past, found it easier to profess love for celebrities than for real people. Real people can be so nutty. The truth is if we knew them, celebrities would drive us nuts, too. Having the luxury of not knowing them makes it so much easier to love them.

And so the intervention I recommend is not a pill I wouldn’t swallow myself. For every thirty hours of celebrity obsession, do one hour of community service or one hour hour (at least) of self-education on world events if you can’t stand the thought of getting out there in the real world just yet. I wouldn’t give up my box of Cher magnets and I wouldn’t ask you to give up your worn-out six-inch single of “Wasn’t It Good.”

Friends?

What’s It All About….Alfie

Pic19490Something’s been nagging my craw the last two days: obsession with trivial things. Don’t say it! I know what you’re thinking. Let me just split hairs here for a minute. I’m specifically talking about people who freak out over trivial things due to their unchecked obsession. If you have an obsession, good for you. I’m not here to judge. Just don’t get your nylons in a snit over it is all I’m sayin’.

Who reminded me of this issue: 1) someone on the Cher Yahoo group who has been chronically upset about the Cher auction and 2) Yankee fans. The chronically upset Cher fan has been complaining about the inappropriateness of the Cher auction and poor Cher fans (as in Cher fans with no money not Cher fans with misfortunes such a living rooms never to be graced with the presence of a Cher end table). I like opinions. I’m all for opinions. It’s good to have an opinion and flex it. Especially on voting day. But this person is seriously upset, such as they say: beyond the pale. Her latest beef is over the high-priced hard cover auction catalog from Sotheby’s that has yet to arrive, days after the auction is over. Maybe Sotheby’s is waiting for Cher to sign them. We don’t really know. A frustrating delay—I agree. But this one’s really pissed off. Meanwhile, the recently departed Yankee player Cory Lidle (his private plane recently slammed into an Upper East Side Manhattan building) had to call into the New York Mike and the Mad Dog Radio radio program the day before his death to defend himself against comments such as this: “"Cory, tell me what other Yankee fan out there is getting to enjoy his Monday after you guys stunk the house out! Sorry pal, but people who make 20 million dollars a year to do a job don’t get to enjoy a day with their family when they didn’t do their job!" A day later, he’s dead.

Now why exactly couldn’t Mad Dog enjoy October 10, 2006? Because his neighborhood baseball team lost a season? A baseball team that wins pretty much every other freakin season? That’s what makes it impossible for him to function as a happy person?

Be careful when you’re a fan. Is this a life and death interest for you? Does this team or person actually improve your quality of life? Be honest. Does this team or person help you earn a living? Can your team or person influence or alter world events? Has this team or person directly helped you in some way that didn’t involve just being there for you? Did their “being there for you” at any time involve a ticket of admission or receipt from Tower Records? It’s very possible you may be taking the fan relationship too personally. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. You’re obsessed. Unless you’re a fan of Bono (and it’s still questionable what influence he’ll have on the world all at the end of the day). Maybe a baseball player or an artist is some hero of yours, maybe they keep you from a daily descent into the blues. So be it. It’s not war and death. Short of war and death and your local Piggly Wiggly strike, calm down. Some of you are celebrity obsessed and your affliction is creepy. Go watch Animal Planet and talk yourself down! Or better yet, go read the news. No People Magazine or Sports Illustrated for a week for you!

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