a division of the Chersonian Institute

Category: What This Really Says About Me (Page 10 of 15)

Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday to Me!

Cherat40I was born on this day at 7ish in the evening all those 40 years ago. My mother said I made her feet swell up that summer and so she couldn't wear shoes. She also said I cried all night right after I was born.

I'm sure I was cold and probably didn't like my pillow. "Can I get some service around here?"

To the left is what Cher looked like at approximately 40 years of age circa 1986. (not sure when this photo was taken but its around there somewhere). She looks pretty damn good. I do not look this good. But I am hanging in there.Me-40

I love 40, honestly, and have been looking forward to it. Strangely I feel like a wise Latina even though I am not Latina. I feel sassy, mischievous, and ready to stir up some fun trouble.

I celebrate my day by reading some quotes from this Cher-loving blog.
http://halfahundred.blogspot.com/2009/07/quotes-from-cher.html

During a recent interview with Tina Turner on Oprah, Cher said she hated growing old. "What about wisdom?" asked Oprah. "F*ck wisdom!" Cher replied.

I would F*ck wisdom.

See? I'm starting already!

I’m Back!

Zumanity…back from feelin ill and back from my bachelorette party in La Lovely Las Vegas. It’s true…it is a bit early for my bachelorette party but my MOH is a busy party planner for a major Internet company and our open weekend bash dates were a bit limited.

Turns out we had a great time on the trip we dubbed "Gals Gone Mildly Wild." We lounged in a cabana (which came complete with cabana boys) at Mandalay Bay pool, swam in the wave pool and lazy river, ate a swanky dinner at MIX, atop our swanky room at Mandalay’s THEhotel, danced at the MIX nightclub with its awesome views of the strip, shopped, sniffed flowers at the Bellagio, had a toy party, took an iPhone purity test at the Peppermill lounge and saw the Cirque du Soleil show Zumanity.

When I got back, I saw this link posted to the Cher list from Janet Charlton’s Hollywood gossip site: http://www.janetcharltonshollywood.com/not-just-the-same-old-cher/

Cher …she’s psyched herself up so she can return to performing at Caesar’s Palace in September with a splashy new look. She told Bob Mackie she wants a whole new set of stage costumes. She’s tired of everything and wants to update her look. Money is no object. Mackie’s staffers are hard at work creating a new Cher and her fans might be advised to catch her show again.

Someone on the Cher list quipped, “change the set list please.”

Alas kids, we’ve been here before…during last year’s break in fact, anticipating Cher’s year 2 changes which amounted to nothing more than two song changes (which were awesome) and one new outfit.

Big disappointment that was and I’m not falling for it again. The hope of changes, that is. I am falling for going to see the show again. I can’t help it. That’s why I’m deemed obsessed. Irrationally giving over of my hard-earned cash to fill Cher’s coffers.

And the pain of my celebrity-obsessed conflict solidified as I watched the burlesque version of Circe du soliel, Zumanity.

Everything about Zumanity was awesome: the sound, the colors, the performers. All of it tugged at your heart and stroked your mind. I felt the same way about Le Reve. And all of this Cirque greatness is what prompted one reviewer of Cher’s show last year to ask if Cher and her people had even seen the other shows?

Because for a comparable price you can go see better aerialists, better stage effects, better comedyVegas and all pulled together…like buttah! It’s all just so much more creative. Either compete with that or do something completely different.

So if someone asks me if they should see the Cher show, I always say yes. But if they ask me what is the one show they should they see in Las Vegas, I would have to say O or Le Reve or Zumanity.   Especially if they’ve already seen Cher on her Farewell Tour. Because it's practically the same music set.

But I never hesitate to tell them to get ahold of a bootleg copy of Celebration at Caesars.

To thank the lovely ladies who traveled to my bachelorette party in Vegas (from Los Angeles, St. Louis and Cleveland), I sent them this kewl card from the Cher style website.

    

Cher Scholar Flu

RamonesWhile I spent that last two weeks coughing, sleeping in delirium and getting more and more depressed about the money I'm losing being off sick from work, I heard the Ramones' song "We Want the Airwaves" and I thought it was kind of a shame Cher didn't record with them. I don't know if this was my fever talking, but at the time I thought they would all sound very good together. And what a rebellious thing to do from everyone involved. 

And that's been my only semi-deep Cher thought over the last two weeks.

I'm a bit freaked out being so sick so long because a) I don't want prolonged illness to jeopardize a job I love, b) my bachelorette party is quickly approaching (which means there will be no post next week either) and I don't want my illness to ruin it, and c) uh…I'm paying for my wedding — I need cash and more cash and ever day on the couch brings no cash.

Good wedding news there is, however. We had our rings designed and finished by artist Myrthus Koinva, a new Hopi artist near Keams Canyon, Arizona. And our invitations (designed by by bf and his former greeting-card business partner) are finished and being printed. They are so cool!

Other positive things to focus on: I've finished a few new poems (one inspired by my new discovery of Walt Whitman) and I did get a chance to read the latest Rolling Stone article on Gregg Allman, which was minorly interesting and didn't mention Elijah (who just had a birthday) but did talk about other son Devon and his band Honeytribe and the breakup of his umpteenth marriage where Gregg is finally beginning to wonder: hey, maybe its me. Definitely an inch progress on that front.

But then I come back to work after another day of being sick, I found the office is out of diet coke and I'm now being forced to drink diet Dr. Pepper.

Cher may love Dr. Pepper. But Cher Scholar does not.

Wah.

 

Car Through House and Music on My Playlist

…so yesterday I had just gotten off the phone to tell my friend that the Branson, Missouri, documentary at L.A. Film Fest was sold out, when I walked into the living room and gave Franz and my bf some hassle-ment for napping and then started to walk into my kitchen when out of my periphery vision I saw a car fly out of nowhere into my neighbor's house. It was very odd and loud. It was like the woman in the car was time traveling and had mis-set her coordinates back to the future. I expected Christopher Lloyd to step out. The woman suffered injuries but I'm not sure to what extent. She was taken away on a stretcher, but she was talking. Thankfully, the boy and the two German Shepherds who play often in the yard and the parents were safe, literally minutes from returning from a baseball game. Click pics to enlarge.

Car1

Car2

    

Car3

Car4 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Songs on my latest iPod list:

  1. Foreground – Grizzly Bear

  2. Wavin' Flag – K'naan

  3. I Will Survive – Cake

  4. We Both Go Down Together – The Decemberists

  5. Fight Test – Flaming Lips

  6. Laughing With (God) – Regina Spektor

  7. Tell Me It's Not Over – Starsailor

  8. St. Kitt's Woman – Tower of Power

  9. Fighting My Way Back – Thin Lizzy

  10. Chastity Sun – Cher

Where Cher and I Have Been

Shower There’s so much news to chat about I think my head will explode. I just had my bridal shower. A beautiful day and at the house of my friend Julia (who I met years ago when I first moved to LA and worked at Agribuys, a now-defunct agribusiness technology company). Her house has awesome harbor and ocean views off the coast of San Pedro. We had fabulous Mexican food made by her husband and played three games– one trivia game about us that my mother won (I was honestly surprised by that), another game where everybody filled out a list of their likes and dislikes. Then all the women lined up behind the groom and all the men behind the bride and the person with the most in common with each one was deemed their “perfect match.” My bf ended up with a co-worker (who I suspect wasn’t really paying attention to the game and so in confusion never sat down) and I ended up with a childhood friend from Albuquerque. Then we played The Newlywed Game with five couples which included my parents. The last question was “What is the last day of the week you made whoopee.” When it came to me I said emphatically that I was indeed a virgin. My Dad’s card read “What is whoopee?” My parents ended up winning the game. No cards were slammed on spouses heads.

While my parents were in town we also visited Catalina (more quiet and quaint than you’d think on a weekday), Seal Beach for lunch at Walt’s Warf, Pasadena to view some possible wedding program paper, Huntington Library to see The Blue Boy and the HUUGE gardens, and The Charles Lummis House. Talk about a contrast in gardens! The poor Lummis house is dilapidated! He was such a founding part of California history…quite a shame. My parents also helped us planting flowers, and we showed them our future wedding site and talked over wedding favor chocolates we want to get from Wilburs Chocolates, my parents’ local chocolatier.

My most recent opinions on news events:

1. Torture: you can’t be for the sanctity of life and for torture.

2. Susan Boyle: the subtext of this story offends me. To get excited about it presumes that we are so surprised that homely people have talent…when it’s obvious to everyone and their dog that talent comes in all shapes and sizes. So on behalf of all homely, unusual or average looking people, and Susan Boyle,  FU!

Cherhudson2 Speaking of pretty people….Cher was at Kate Hudson’s birthday party (in case you live under a rock, Hudson is Goldie Hawn’s daughter). Cherhudson5

 

 

 

 

News items on the Hudson party:

http://www.themedpartysupplies.com/party-news/cher-timberlake-get-hudsons-party-started-world-entertainment-news-via-yahoo-uk-ireland-news/

http://celebs2day.com/celebrity-news/cher-amp-timberlake-get-hudsons-party-started/

http://sify.com/movies/hollywood/fullstory.php?id=14882012

Cherjewison2 Cher also attended an Norman Jewison tribute in LA and gave good speech. She allegedly also defended her choice of lobbying for Nicholas Cage for his role in Moonstruck.

Normal_cherjewison7

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News items on Jewison tribute:

On a related note, here is a Nicolas Cage Movie Plot Generator: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_bkFIPLIOGL8/Sd6OQbdcsxI/AAAAAAAAfZU/FKFtOHBxnJI/s1600-h/nicolas-cage-movie-plot-generator.jpg
 

Chastity Turns 40

Chas40 My parents are visiting for the first time in three years, first time since I've been living in sin with my bf–to help with wedding stuff. We're going to visit the place who may be selling us our program paper, visit the wedding site and getting the house fixed up a bit. So I'll be MIA here for the next two weeks. After that we have a store-load of links to catchup on.

It went virtually un-remarked on but Chastity celebrated her 40th birthday this past March 4. (I had to look that date up – for some reason I thought she was a April baby.) Like me, Chastity was born in 1969. I still recall how put-out I was the she was, in fact, older than me. I have no idea why that mattered to my 8-year old self. I must have felt she was America's little sister–since obviously Sonny & Cher were our fantasy hipper alt-parents.

Turning 40 is an awesome milestone–but even moreso if you were born in 1969. Myself, I always felt a bit charmed to have been born that magical year.Editor Kit Rachlis of LA Magazine in a recent "letter from the editor" spoke about what a historic year 1969 really was. She says

“2009 is the 40th anniversary of something significant…By any measure, 1969 was momentous. With Woodstock, the counterculture—a small bohemian movement scattered around the country—reached critical mass and found its emblem. The Tate-LaBianca murders  confirmed what everyone should have known: Violence and manipulation swam alongside all that peace and love.”

Kit catalogues the fury that was 1969: Woodstock, The Tate-LaBianca murders, first manned mission to land on the moon, the November march against the Vietnam War (more than 500,000—then the largest demonstration in U.S. capital history), and she even lists one of the most momentus but completely unreported events of that year – the invention of the Internet and the first message sent from a UCLA computer.

The company the coordinates the technical aspects of the Internet is my major employer right now; and the publishing revolution enables me to research news articles and encyclopedic entries on Armenia yesterday without going to a library, meet Cher fans for the last 10 years without having to wait for conventions, buy a new Cher CD release while sitting on my couch with my pajamas and slippers on, and blog about what I think of it to youse guys.

As Kit says “everyone on the planet has been affected by the Internet.”

And yet Kit tells the story of how disinterested the Smithsonian was in collecting that very first computer that sent that very first Internet communication-–for years the Smithsonian didn’t see its value!

Kit states: “In our mania to make predictions and sweeping pronouncements and top-ten lists…to come up with instant analysis, whether on TV or in blogs, we invariably reflect our blinkered view. We adhere to a conformity we’re not alert to.”

And then she quotes film critic Steve Erickson who says in the same LA Magazine issue

“…the most radical notion of all is that a great movie…is still great even if it has no audience.” 

We didn’t notice how great the invention of the Internet was and to some degree I don’t think we still fully grasp it even now. But in many ways, it is not our task to fully grasp it – it’s just our task to playChubslut2 it out. 

My 40th birthday will arrive this summer. I am looking forward to it. I'm proud of my battle scars and I do feel wiser and stronger and happier and more appreciative of moments and less willing to put up with bullshit. I’m even more convinced today than I was when I was a little girl watching The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour and thinking that Chastity was younger than me that Cher records are great, even though they don’t have a full-fledged audience yet and even though institutions and critics like the Smithsonian don't get it yet. 😉

I’m 40 now. I know some things.

  

Poem of the Week

CliftonNot sure if I’ll keep this poetry posting up but…

I found this when looking through my books for wedding ceremony poems.

"won't you celebrate with me"

Lucille Clifton was much honored on the east coast poetry circuit where I studied in graduate school.

Click the link to read the full poem:

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=181377

Wow! What resilience!

"what i have shaped into
a kind of life? i had no model.

what did i see to be except myself?
i made it up
here on this bridge between
starshine and clay,
my one hand holding tight
my other hand; come celebrate
with me that everyday
something has tried to kill me
and has failed."

  

Cherabouts: Dancing and Concerts

Cherdance Seen out dancing

Like in the 60s and 70s, Cher has been spotted dancing.

From Access Hollywood:

"Cher Still Making ‘Em Weep!: And in real royalty news, pop queen Cher caused quite a stir Saturday night at the LIV nightclub in Miami – she even made the some of the crowd turn on the waterworks. “Nobody knew Cher was coming, but when she walked in, a group of female fans started hysterically crying… everyone recognized he,” a club source told the New York Post’s Page Six. But Cher didn’t let the fan frenzy stop her night. “[She] didn’t let Cherdisco any of it faze her,” a source said. “She was dancing all night and was so nice to all her fans.”

Look at those boots (pic to right from the 80s)!!

The story was also reported in the Miami New Times.

Cher was also spottedwith her bf at a Merle Haggard/Kris Kristofferson concert in Santa Rosa, California (Cher with Kristofferson below).

See reports and pics:

I was excited about this at first, thinking it would portend to the eventuality of a country westernCher_wells_arts album from Cher or a little ole western-flavored song on a Cher album. But alas, reports are that her boyfriend is the fan.

My own bf just downloaded a slew of country western songs for me a week ago, in between my own downloads of country-kitche. So Merle Haggard’s "Mama Tried" is bumping up against Barbara Mandrell’s "Sleeping Single in a Double Bed."

By the way, as I was groaning to my bf about his love of the Chiefs and the movie Heat, he had to remind me he’s been to two Cher shows (I have a feeling this will develop as a weapon in many future kerfluffles) and he doesn’t want to hear my anti-Heat whining every time the endless and posturing melodrama comes on, which is practically daily on TNT! – see…there I go again.

This being supportive thing is really hard.

I did agree to go to a Chiefs game. Sigh.

By the way, my furkid Franz was a winner last week. Won himself a free week at the spa (…er kennel) and a March Madness jersey of his choice. He picked the Jayhawks in solidarity with his papa.

    

Talking Trash

Argue2 I have to be delicate with this post. After all, I do have friends who are fiscal conservatives and we do agree once in a while. I also have a friend or two who are social conservatives. We can’t talk politics at all, period…or we won't be speaking for three years.

However, with all due respect to my conservative peeps, I can’t resist responding to this week conservative bloggers and web pundits who have taken great umbrage with recent comments Cher made about Republicans. Me thinks she may have hit a nerve.

Not surprisingly, I see great credibility issues in the responses – which have been almost uncontainably feral.

Remember back in the 80s when your friends’ parents used to say the evils of the economy were rooted in the ideas of Franklin Roosevelt and all his socialist programs? Today democrats believe the evils of the economy are rooted in the ideas of Ronald Reagan and his trickle-down economic theory. Now, Reagan was a celebrity before he was a President. This will become important later.

http://politikditto.blogspot.com/2009/02/obama-cultist-cher-wonders-why-anyone.html
Politikditto's major rebuttal to Cher’s comments are

“I mean does anyone under 30 even know who Cher is?”

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,489526,00.html
RNC mouthpiece, Fox “news” took the same tactic:

“Don’t remember who Cher is…?”

This humorous tactic has no rational credibility. If Cher is a has-been whom no one remembers, then why are y'all reacting to it all over the blogosphere? And while we're at it, why did her last tour break so many records? Why is her Vegas show selling out every night? Why is she constantly followed around whenever she goes shopping by the likes of TMZ and other Paparazzi – because stories about what she’s buying don't interest anybody?

Why are you still talking about her then?

http://www.mrc.org/BozellColumns/entertainmentcolumn/2009/col20090209.asp

L. Brent Bozell III, his column's first line says it all:

“Beware celebrities getting involved in politics” and goes on to say, “Celebrities aren’t expected to make sense, they’re only expected to be famous.”

THAT’S why Ronald Reagan never made sense! He wasn’t supposed to. He was a celebrity. Thank you for clearing that up for us. Conservatives have no credibility asking celebrities to refrain from talking  politics. Why? Because they consistently don’t complain when conservative celebrities are doing the talking on politics:  Ronald Reagan (whom they’ve canonized), Charlton Heston and Ted Nugent were  never asked to “shut up” by conservatives.

Later Bozell says,

“Let’s take Cher, the singer who can’t honor her promises to retire…”

This retire comment is another way of saying, “please just go away” so I don’t have to listen to your opinions, which I disagree with. It’s very similar to Rush Limbaugh last season telling liberals to “shut up…until you win an election, shut up!”  Well, now that the losing party is not shutting up, they lose credibility asking the rest of us to shut up.

Bozell then criticizes Cher recent protest for Billy the elephant and complains about her involvement in the abortion-discussion film If These Walls Could Talk which, by the way, had both pro-life arguments and pro-choice arguments in each vignette:

“Like many a Hollywood liberal, Cher’s sympathies for animals don’t extend to human babies. She starred and helped direct a pro-abortion film for HBO in 1996. She told Newsweek at the time she was passionate from personal experience: “Our mother almost died from an illegal abortion when I was little. Our grandmother had a desperate coat-hanger abortion when she was young. I had four miscarriages before I got pregnant with my daughter. I had two abortions. Legal.” She was upset there was still an abortion debate. “If men had babies, we wouldn't be having this conversation. It would be a done deal.””

Bozell has absolutely no moral credibility here. To paraphrase him — Like many a conservative evangelical, sympathies for the possible suffering of the unborn don't extend to the sufferings of the living. In the last eight years, major evangelical conservative organizations have thrown all their heft, arguments, and money behind things they are against, against abortion, against gay marriage, against stem cell research. They have not yet established any strong message or support to end suffering for servicemen in Iraq who lack equipment, the suffering of veterans who lack services, the suffering of the poor, the suffering of animals (even pet abuse initiatives), the suffering caused by “playing God” with the death penalty that sometimes puts to death the wrong guy, the suffering of children without adequate health care, or any real love thy neighbor initiatives. Correct thy neighbor initiatives only.

http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/2009/02/cher_denounces.html

Bill O’Reilly called Cher a pinhead; this Moonbattery article is titled “Cher Denounces Republicans, Praises Moonbat Messiah.” Other bloggers called Cher “stupid” and an “airhead.”

Moonbattery says,

“Typically of dreary has-beens trying to seem relevant in the cesspool of our entertainment industry, Cher is heavily into BHO…"

Typical of these responses is name calling. Which doesn’t bring with it inherent credibility — ever. It’s sort of like a last-ditch effort to assert yourself.

"For his first miracle, the Moonbat Messiah will blow over $1 trillion on liberal pork, despite the country being nearly broke… A primary reason this country appears to be headed for decline is that narrow-minded leftist cretins like Cher control our mainstream culture.”

Moonbattery has no fiscal credibility with his response, either. Because in 8 years conservatives never criticized Bush for his spending on an unnecessary war in Iraq, which took us from a surplus to a huge deficit. Spending wasn’t an issue three months ago. Suddenly…it is.

http://www.onebigdog.net/it-would-be-funny-if-cher-died/

Big Dog's blog seeks death to unbelievers. Big Dog says it would be funny if Cher died,

“Not funny as in comical or humorous but funny as in ironic.”

“After reading the sappy praise she spewed for Obama it appears to me that she wants a different kind of stimulus package from her exalted leader.”

So previous bloggers claimed those who support President Obama are somehow cultish, following a messiah; but this one asserts that if you criticize Republicans, you deserve death.

That sounds credible.

He goes on to reveal a bit of his racial prejudices (all under the guise of comedy, mind you):

“In another bit of irony, one of Cher’s big hits was a song titled Halfbreed [sic]. And then came Obama, in fulfillment of the scripture…”

It's hard to find credibility in insults and thinly-veiled racial slurs.

Think of these people like bullies in the swimming pool. They’ve been pushing the beach ball so far under the water for eight years and now they’re outraged that it’s flying up in the air like it is.

When you push the country to one extreme, it tends to have an extreme correction (even just to get back to the center). Simple physics.

Here are some bloggers who supported Cher’s comments:

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/video/125773/cher_bitchslaps_republicans/  (This one has video of Cher’s comments)

http://www.newshounds.us/2009/02/10/independent_bill_oreilly_calls_cher_is_a_pinhead_oh_no_he_didnt_oh_yes_he_did.php  This one takes O’Reilly to task.

Cher slams them. They slam Cher. Toys are thrown across the sandbox. Madness.

   

Cash It In

Cash So I’m poking along, planning my wedding at the library. And many pieces that are coming together are due to the fact that I have a bf with many past lives. He used to co-own a snarky greeting card company and his former partner designed some awesome seating cards for us that look like library cards. They’re also working on the invitations. From his days in Chicago theater he also found our photographer. We picked out our hotel which sits about a mile and a half from the library and is on the pier. I found wedding favors on sale that fit our unusual theme of books and leaves.

Two weekends ago, we also navigated around a free Honeymoon scam. David’s Bridal (who I’ve never visited but where I signed up for email tips) allegedly sells names to some unscrupulous vendors. One of those vendors called me claiming I had been to a bridal expo (I haven’t and never will) and had been submitted to win a free trip. To claim it, I had to visit a local hotel and listen to a spiel about the products of RP Bridal. Bf smelled something fishy right away and so I did an Internet search where I read all sorts of horror stories about lost deposits, faulty pots and pans, hard sells, salesmen who go lost in the night with deposits, refusals to cancel, harassments from bill collectors on phantom orders…crazy sad stories. It was all Internet hearsay but it was enough to keep us away. But how depressin in this cloudy economic climate to prey on hopeful young brides. Thank God, we're old and cynical. We have appointments this month to look at dresses, taste cakes and meet florists.

In the meantime, bf and I are obsessed with the BBC show You Are What You Eat hosted by the tart and cranky Gillian McKeith. She has inspired me with her shock tactics to stop eating crap and lose weight. Three great things about the show: 

  1. When Gillian lays out for people all the crap they eat in a week…it’s alarming; she also uses shock tactics to show them how awful their biggest vice is: how much sugar is in it; all the butter they ingest in a month, it's always very visual and shocking.
  2. When she asks them to give her a poop sample and then she then berates it in always original ways.
  3. The 8-week transformations are pretty amazing.

I’m also corresponding with our DJ while I plan out all my music lists, which is particularly pleasurable for me. I was searching for fun dance songs for the reception and I said to myself, I wish there was a dance remix of a Johnny Cash song. Little did I know a whole CD of his earlier recordings remixed was about to be released. I downloaded it yesterday and have been loving it! 

Be prepared: it's similar to the remix of Elvis' "A Little Less Conversation," and the dance mixes of Serge Gainsbourg. I wish someone would do the same with Cher’s 60s and 70s material – back before every single had a cousin-remix that was released with it.

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