Who even knew this song existed? Thanks to Cher scholar Robrt who informed me of its existence a few weeks ago, a Sonny solo singled called "Rub Your Nose." It was written by Irwin Levine and L. Russell Brown.
The Cashbox review:
SONNY BONO (MCA 40139)
Rub Your Nose (3:15) (Levine & Brown, BMI, I. Levine, L. R. Brown)
Already picking up some air action, the not-as-pretty half of the Sonny & Cher team comes through with his first major chart item in some time as a solo. Reminiscent of the type of material that Cher’s been hitting with, this one looks headed for the Top Twenty. Flip: Laugh At Me (2:40) (Cotillion/Chris —Marc, BMI—S. Bono).
I don't think it made it to top 100. And how is this in any way reminiscent of the material Cher has been hitting with? Those would be hits produced by Snuff Garrett. This is a song produced by Sonny himself and Denis Pregnalato and arranged by future-Toto member David Paich, son of Sonny & Cher's musical arranger Marty Paich.
Here are the lyrics below that I have tried to transcribe. Does it provide any insight into Sonny's illicit and philandering ways? Or is it a critique of a famous wife starting to do the same?
Me and my woman, you and your man were having dinner
all together at the Chinese restaurant
Remember the signals, the ones that we made up in the laundry-mat [that's how he pronounces it]
where I held you and we stole a kiss or two?
Oh rub your nose means I love you,
pull your ear means late tonight. [No, it means Carol Burnett saying hello to her grandmother]
While they're soundly sleeping we'll be doing it up right.
Tap your foot means you want me
right this minute if we could.
Oh, rub your nose, pull your ear, tap your foot.
Show your affection like I'm showing mine.
Pretend you love him.
You're an actress. [Yikes!]
Why you're almost fooling me.
Leave him an egg roll. I'll pass her the rice
and while they're eating in their frenzy
I'll {something, something} once or twice. [Oh dear, what is that he's doing once or twice?]
Oh rub your nose means I love you,
Pull your ear means late tonight. [No, see above.]
While they're soundly sleeping we'll be doing it up right.
Tap your foot means you want me
right this minute if we could.
Oh, rub your nose, pull your ear, tap your foot.
Oh what fun. Feel the danger in the air.
Careful, girl, 'cos you're starting in to stare.
Danger in the air!
[guitar bridge]
Oh rub your nose means I love you,
Pull your ear means late tonight. [No, see above.]
While they're soundly sleeping we'll be doing it up right.
Tap your foot means you want me
right this minute if we could.
Oh, rub your nose, pull your ear, tap your foot.
{whispers} Rub your nose, pull your ear, tap your foot.
Rub your nose, pull your ear, tap your foot.
Ok, who feels like Chinese food right now? Anyone? Give it a listen and help me decipher the missing words: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYPgxAKREGA
