I Found Some Blog

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Diva Stank

Schilton_1 So I’m assuming everybody has seen the recent skanky Britney Spears photos. If you’re underage, I’m hopefully assuming you haven’t. I’m not quite sure this was the best way to clean up an image after Kevin Federline’s long-overdue exit; but I’m not a bonafide Stylist so what do I know about the latest celebrity look.

In a recent New York Post blurb, Cher’s publicist, Liz Smith, encourages Britney to hang with Cher instead of Paris Hilton, saying Cher is "clever and level-headed." Liz also snipes that Cher is "actually famous for something."

Now, I wholeheartedly agree with Liz; but I know more than a few snarky rock fans out there who will jump all over that one. Cher once had her own legitimacy problems out in the arena of public opinion.

In any case, haven’t they all released perfume lines? Heiress, Curious, and Uninhibited. Although, rumor has it Cher now wears a chocolate sent called Comptoir Sud Pacifique Amour de Cacoa. Go buy these if you simply must smell like your favorite Diva or if you’re Britney and you have some recent smell of public skank to cover. Britney! Don’t make Paris look angelic, now. What would Bob Dole think?

Anyway, Cher wouldn’t hang out with Paris Hilton. Cher’s had enough drama with the Hilton’s of this world, way back to 1965 when Sonny & Cher tried to stay at the London Hilton and press reported them getting booted for looking like skanks themselves. I found this photo today on Google images. It purports to be S&C actually at the Hilton back when Paris, who wasn’t born until 1981, was just some skank-potential floating around her mum’s young fallopian tubes.    

Well at least Cher can exit a car like a hippie lady in those pow-wow chaps.

   

Rejected Blog Title #2: Blog of Stone

Don’t you sometimes wish your blog was a blog of stone? Me too. It’s tough to watch great Cher websites come and go. People get busy. Lives move on. Fans auction away their savings for dusty feather boas.

I wanted to take this opportunity to express concern for the great sites that are down. Everything Cher was down for a good while but I see it’s back up. That’s great, because it’s a comprehensive site with some quirky special things about it.

    

Jpcbanner

Just Plain Cher is not back up, however, since back around Cher auction time (at least that’s when the news post look like they’ve stopped coming). I’m worried about this site because it’s one of my personal favorites. JPC has been up a long time, and some great material has rotated on and off the site, some great reviews you couldn’t find elsewhere, like of rare TV specials for instance. This was run by long-time fandom and I loved their perspecitve on Cher stuff. Text wise, it was the strongest site. JPC also had a very current news feature, as well. Plus easy-to-use forums and some creative games like the Gypsy Fortune Teller. There was definitely some scholarship happening on that site. JPC, we hope you’re doing okay and making plans to return someday.

            

Everythingcher I missed Everything Cher, too. Although its forum isn’t as active, the site has a comprehensive Cher Tattoo Index! And other great stuff under Miscellaneous including Cher on stamps, in comix and other quirky Cher collectibles. There’s also a page on the disturbing process of making the newest version of the Cher doll. And, if you purchased the computer game 9 because Cher’s voice was on it and learned quickly that a walk-through guide was necessary because you spend more time collecting Cher crap than playing video games and therefore your game IQ is now pathetically low, Everything Cher offers such a guide.

And if you’re ready to start a Cher collection from scratch, the blueprint for you is here: a great collectible book list, magazines to look for, a video/DVD list, and Cher music organized in alternative ways for your various educational needs. The album section shows cover art, song titles, song times and basic album details.

Only the news and tour schedule information is moldy oldie. Which possibly means the site is existing virtually parent-less, but that’s okay. As a ghost town, it’s still a valuable piece of Cher scholarship.

 

Review of The Ground Truth

Overview
First of all, let me explain my bias: I am a peace-loving, anti-war-nick. I would be the last person to join the armed forces. I protested the Iraq war in an unlikely, Los Angeles rainstorm four years ago before the war started. To be specific, I am anti-war-of-aggression. This war for oil qualifies as such. But I am not against peace-keeping missions. I understand the necessity of the armed forces and appreciate the immense sacrifices soldiers make on behalf of a country we all love. Soldiers do what we all collectively as a society ask them to do.

I watched The Ground Truth with a close friend who has worked closely with the Veterans Administration and who thoroughly understands the VA claims process. He has special knowledge of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) conditions and I asked him to bring his experiences to bear on the points of this movie. However, I want to be clear that this person is not a spokesperson for the VA.

It took us four hours to watch and talk about this film. The running time is only 1 hour,18 minutes. But we talked about until 1 a.m.

The Best Parts
A large chunk of the film is about soldiers struggling with PTSD. My friend is personally tied to this issue as he had a family member struggle with this disorder and the situation had a life-altering impact on his family. These PTSD stories are ultimately the most moving portion of the film.

The film also reminds us the war vets are all around us and we often fail to notice. One soldier said, “You don’t see us because we don’t talk about it.”

There’s a chilling poem about PTSD in the movie: "live wire snap" by mos def and a moving song by Tom Waits, “The Day After Tomorrow.” Ironically my Dad sent me this song from The Daily Show web page the same day I discovered it in the movie.

The Architecture of the Film
I’ve seen many documentaries; so it’s hard not to comment on how they handle their subjects. I never knew what this documentary wanted to be. And I really couldn’t see any organizing principle. The movie touched on so many topics related to the soldier experience; but nothing was ever handled in depth and I was never sure what the take-home message was for each issue.

We started with recruiting and the idealist soldier falling for the false advertising by recruiters. I was disappointed we only received sound-bites about aggressive recruiting tactics, hearsay from the soldiers. What makes a Michael Moore movie so effective is that he shows the villain caught in the act. In his documentary, Fahrenheit 9/11, we see military recruiters doing the dirty deeds and it’s so much more powerful.

The movie then discusses soldier training/brainwashing and ‘The Killing Indoctrination’ which shows how the ancient War Cry is used to fortify troop resolve. David Grossman discusses the psychological issues of learning to kill. See his book “On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Killing In War and Society”. The psychological and biological angle of killing and learning to dominate others were fascinating, but there was frustratingly little of this.

I did come to see that the real courage of soldiering isn’t the actual killing. Courage comes into play when a soldier needs to reacclimate himself to civilian life and process his war-time experience after coming home. 

But it’s not news that war is a sinister job, and one that requires the Devil’s tactics. Can I really say I watched this segment and was surprised by the barbarity of war? No.

The film then speaks about the ‘crisis of purpose’ soldiers feel in Iraq after a traumatic event. “What are we doing here?” They must know the military-shtick: we’re there to restore order and/or to preserve our access to oil, yada yada yada. You have to think this must be a spiritual questioning occuring. But is this a crisis-questioning derived from PTSD or were these soldiers truly all conscientious objectors who find the blood for oil mission essentially unsavory? Either answer is okay; but the film is too vague about this point…until the end when you realize the bulk of the participants are soldiers actively protesting the war.

Soldiers talk at length about civilian casualties, which leads directly into their issues of PTSD. At this point I thought the exploration of PTSD was the point of the film. It definitely could have been. My friend thought this segment was a good representation of PTSD symptoms and experiences. One vet claimed to have been denied help from a psychologist who labeled him a conscientious objector. My friend said he had never experienced or heard of any claims specialist who would respond this way to a Vet; but my friend did say that every organization, business, or social program has their share of bad eggs who respond inappropriately. 

The movie leaves PTSD and quickly covers issues regarding the return home and the bureaucracy of the benefits process. We end with a segment called ‘Hope’ showing the documentary’s Vet at peace rallies.

The Agenda
The veterans groups who supported this movie as listed in the credits were all groups against the war or vets with a peace agenda. There’s no problem with this; but the documentary poses as one without any agenda. The quotes and the stories featured however show a clear subliminal anti-war agenda. Why be so demure?

This war is different than Vietnam in that there is no draft. Men and women volunteer to join. They are ultimately responsible for their free choices. Some, not all Vets, have regrets about their choice to join the service. This film choses to show only vets who felt betrayed and bamboozled. The documentary does not show opposing arguments, which are crucial for any truly balanced “non-agenda” piece and are also highly useful in any pro-agenda argument: show the opposing view and then break off its leg. Ultimately, giving the opposition no say often gives them an unspoken power. If this film is trying to say the military is a bad choice for all men and women, just say it. Instead we get half-told and hearsay stories like “my comrades made these war slurs,” and “the VA counselor told me this.” It’s a basic rule of arguments and storytelling: show don’t tell. Show the evidence. Like Michael Moore, show the villains and let them hang themselves.

Most film-makers have some kind of subconscious agenda anyway. You really have to work hard to prove you don’t, bend over backwards by showing all sides.

The film ends with Camilo Mejia, who served in prison for his objections to the war, asking soldiers to risk jail time and conscientiously object by dissenting given orders. These are the final words of the film.

The End Tragedy
Personally, I respect what Camilo did. But to place this as the take-home message of the entire film was chilling. Asking soldiers to bulk all that training/brainwashing they’ve gone through (which is necessary for their very survival) and then object? Why put the final burden on the soldier to dissent? Why add more stress on him? Why put this on their souls as well?

Why not lay the responsibility where it truly deserves to be placed: with us. It is ultimately our responsibility as citizens to a) prevent these kinds of wars of aggression from happening and  b) to get them resolved quickly when they start. Congress, Congress, Congress: we elect them, we pressure them, we protest their policies. We educate ourselves on the issues. Start with experts in the Middle East crisis. I’d like to take this opportunity to plug the books on Iraq by a professor at my alma matter, Sarah Lawrence, Fawaz A. Gerges.

I can see why the military wouldn’t want to distribute this film, beyond being legally prevented from doing so. It’s like asking General Motors to distribute a message to their employees about quitting and going to work for Toyota. Wrong or not, why expect them to self-sabotage? But also, the final take home message just isn’t fair. It victimizes the soldier all over again by making it his problem to stop the war. Indirectly, we can then blame him all over again when he can’t object and the war continues.

Claims About VA Claims
The real reason I wanted my friend to watch this film in the first place was to evaluate the claims about the VA. My friend works 6 days a week for vets and knows the VA process. Many claims processors are vets themselves who care about the Vet’s claims and are committed to getting money out to them.

The VA problem is two fold: the system is swamped with claims and the U.S. Congress sets the laws on vet disabilities which the VA is bound to follow. When a new kind of ailment arises, my friend admits the delay in benefits sucks; but regulations are set by Congress and it takes them sometimes years to approve new benefits. Add to this the fact that laws are sometimes complicated. It’s easy for a vet to hear something and get confused.

This is where The Ground Truth is at its weakest. Presenting Vet’s hearsay on the claims process just spreads misinformation and exacerbates the suffering. False facts also weaken the validity of the film. Michael Moore would have secured the impossible interview and talked to a representative at the VA.

My friend weighs in on these pieces of misinformation:
-It’s not true that vets must claim all their problems within in 2 years. They can file at any time. It may take years for their ailments to surface.

-It’s not true that the VA diagnoses Vets as bi-polar to avoid making awards for PTSD. The VA can’t deny a claim unless every means has been made to identify the PTSD cause as service related. Some Vets were angry having been diagnosed as bi-polar or with behavioral disorders. You can still have PTSD and get compensation, even if you are diagnosed as bi-polar. One diagnosis doesn’t officially negate the other.

-It’s not true that the VA holds up claims waiting for vets to go back into battle or die first. However, it is true that the VA is swamped and inefficient. And adjusters suffer their own internal frustrations with the bureaucracy.

My friend and I agreed a more useful documentary would show the VA claims experience from all sides, explore why it takes so freakin long to get claims resolved so Congress will let the VA hire more adjusters.

Conclusions
The film did a disservice to vets by reinforcing myths about the VA. These factual errors also raise questions about the film’s thoroughness. When you choose to showcase certain comments which the film makes no attempt to verify, it looks not only like an agenda-film but a lazy one.

As for PTSD, my friend says it’s only been in last five years that soldiers are being treated for this disorder at all. Clearly there’s more to do, but the strides have been immense. Much more information is now available to help Vets and their families recognize the symptoms.

If this film makes you appreciate PTSD issues more, it’s worth watching. If the intent of the film was simply that, we could have gone deeper and ended on a more helpful action item. One solder did gave one piece of practical advice: “I’d rather hear Welcome Home than Thank You.”

That said, a really balanced piece about the whole Vet experience would have shown more sides and more soldiers speaking on all issues raised. The film hand-picked soldiers with PTSD and soldiers with lingering anti-war feelings – a small and absolute sample slanted to an anti-war agenda. Time Magazine calls the film implicitly anti-war – which is fine. So why pretend otherwise?

This is not to take anything away from those who are supporting the movie. These are just my opinions. I find the film important in some areas, but essentially an imperfect thing. I do feel strongly that the final take-aways should be these:

To Soldiers: apply for benefits at any time. Mistakes happen. You may get a bad claims specialist. You may have to appeal a ruling. It’s worth trying. It will take a long time; but there are many people at the VA who will exhaust every avenue to get you money. There are also veteran’s outreach groups out there who will help you navigate the VA process so you don’t have to do it alone.

To Non-Soldiers: Are you willing to pay more taxes to get claims processed faster? You should vote that way. Call your congressmen.  Ask them to evaluate the claims process. Get active. Protest the war or offer solutions. All hands on deck.

More Poems About the War Experience
Here, Bullet Poems by Brian Turner

   

Masters of War

Groundtruth_3So while the Cher fan club is still in lock down, I make a different kind of Cher-related purchase today. I bought a copy of the documentary “The Ground Truth: After the Killing Ends.” News reports this week have Cher promoting this documentary, trying to get 5,000 copies into the hands of active US soldiers abroad.

Patricia Foulkrod made the film about the soldier experience from recruitment to discharge, in particular—about the difficult experience of returning home from Iraq.

Allegedly the US military has prevented Cher’s distribution efforts to soldiers. I forwarded these reports and a film review to a close friend of mine who has worked closely with the Veterans Administration office in Los Angles and is well trained in the claims process.

We’re going to watch this documentary so we can have a heated debate for the benefit of all Cher scholars. We’ve already discussed the issue of the distribution block. The problem might be due to the fact that the US government is unable to accept any kind of gift distributions or perceived political distributions of any kind by law, whether positive or negative. They can’t even accept free tickets to pro-vet events. I’ll debate this and other issues raised in the movie concerning possible gaps in benefits for returning soldiers and other perceptions about VA support.

If the military believes the documentary is an activist piece, many reviewers do not. Christopher Cambell says the film tries to be apolitical: “…to think of the film primarily in terms of politics would be unfair to its subjects, the vets who are simply looking for an outlet.” Read the full review.

Here is a synopsis of major reviews to date on the film which have mostly been good:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_ground_truth/

You can order a copy for yourself here: http://thegroundtruth.net/. Ten percent of the proceeds go to another project Cher is passionate about: Operation Helmet.

This week I also received a Cher care-package from fellow Cher scholar Robrt Pela: a home-made bootleg of the unreleased Cher album from 1968, “Backstage.” Cher recorded a smattering of anti-war songs back in the 60s during the Vietnam War era (mostly Dylan-covers), but my favorite was the in-your-face “Masters of War.” I recently heard Mike Stinson do a good version of this song at the Cinemabar on Sepulveda in the Culver City area of LA. I’ve always loved the lyrics and Cher’s passionate punctuation of certain lines, especially the final ominous ones.

Masters of WarTalk4_1
by Bob Dylan

Come here masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothing
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it’s your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like the Judas of old
You lie and deceive
This world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You can fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As the young people’s blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You’ve thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
A fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain’t worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I’m young
You might say I’m unlearned
But there’s one thing I know
And I’m younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death will come soon
Well I will follow your casket
In a pale afternoon
Well I’ll watch while you’re lowered
Into your death’s bed
And I’ll stand over your grave
Till I’m sure that you’re dead

These lyrics were found on the Russian Cher site: http://lyrics.procher.org/.

Movie Director Robert Altman Passes

Altman_and_cher What is going on? First Rusty Dennis dies and now Robert Altman succumbs to cancer? It’s been a shocking two weeks of Cher-movie-related passings. Robert Altman! Where do you start? He’s an motion picture giant, and yet a Hollywood outsider. My Ape Culture co-hort (an Altman aficionado) did a very good job summarizing what it was that made his pictures landmark movies. Read her short piece about him.

I think there are four men who are pivotal in Cher’s Hollywood story. Sonny Bono was entirely responsible for masterminding a very unlikely, versatile, almost-vaudevillian songbird version of Cher. Then David Geffen untangled Cher from the contractual quagmires of Sonny-Bono-schemes after their divorce and gave Cher new avenues as a solo artist. That was no small job. All the while, Bob Mackie has been crucial in eliciting Cher’s colorful personality with costumes that, decade to decade, define her iconic image. And Robert Altman is the father of Cher’s movie career. He “discovered” Cher as an actress. She was a rock star and a television star, but the movie people pooh-poo’d her for years. So, would we have an Oscar-winning Cher without Altman? I’m not so sure we would. In 1981, he took that first chance on Cher. He cast her in the Broadway role of Sissy in the Ed Graczyk play, “Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean” which was later turned into a movie. No one else wanted to give Cher movie roles although she had been trying to become an actress since the mid-70s…really, since she was a teenager, before she was derailed by Sonny Bono’s folk-rock ambitions. Which was lucky or we might not have had the folk/torch/pop/rock-star version of Cher today either.

So, not only did Altman give Cher’s acting career a shot, he did so with a juicy, dramatic role that gave Cher options for other Oscar-worthy roles to follow. Mike Nichols (who rejected Cher for a part in The Fortune) came backstage during the Broadway run of “Jimmy Dean” and asked her to play Dolly in Silkwood. Her performance in Silkwood helped the writer of Mask visualize her for the role of Rusty Dennis. Both roles proved to be dramatic, award-winning roles for Cher. So, if you’re a fan of Cher on the actress track, to Altman you owe your gratitude.

Cher’s performance of Sissy is really a wonderful thing to watch. She’s physically natural and emotionally raw. See my review of the movie on Cher Scholar. It’s another one of Cher’s best performances. I really hope there’s interview footage somewhere of Altman talking about how it all came together, that performance. And did he ever realize what a blockbuster, award-winning, virtually third career he ignited for Cher?

The photo above was taken at an AMFAR event.
Review the Altman ouvre.

 

Rusty Dennis, the FCC and Africa

People79 Whoa, Nelly! It’s 15 days since my last post! I feel terrible. I feel rusty already. No pun intended. Rusty Dennis, the woman Cher portrayed in Mask, died last week. We should all watch Mask in her honor. Rusty was one of Cher’s best performances. You can read my review is on Cher Scholar. I need to update it for the newest DVD release from last year. Interesting differences between the studio version and Peter Bogdanovich’s Director’s Cut. The new version has director’s commentary (a must for the truly obsessed), phenomenal background/deleted scenes (Cher singing even!) and Cher’s plug for the CCA. As a humble Cher scholar, I feel the need to have both versions on my shelf. The differences between the two raise pertinent questions for film-theory discussion, including “How does background music affect the tone of the film.” This issue spelled controversy when the film was released and is a valid study on soundtracking and attention to detail. I saw Peter Bogdanovich give a talk last year on the film. He spoke in his affected way about prefering natural background music. He said a lot of other things which will be included in an article for the next Cher zine. But hey, this paragraph should be about Rusty! She was a hard-living character and the story of her life is sad. Besides Rockey (Roy) Dennis, who died in his teens, she had another son who died too young. To her credit, her death was big news on the AP this week which means people remember her character and care about the movie. Read the AP news story.

Hard news to follow; but the reason I’ve been so remiss in posting is–I moved last week. I now live near the beach in Venice, California. I moved all of 15 or so blocks. Still, there’s been a lot of drama surrounding this move. For one, I moved in with my boyfriend. Last month, my parents asked me pointed questions about this like “will their be a bed in the spare bedroom?” Apparently, they weren’t thrilled about my living in sin (Trivia alert: Cher sang backup for Gene Simmons’ song "Living in Sin" in the late 70s). I heard about my parents’ feelings officially through their next door neighbor who emailed me. I told my mother I was 37 and too old to be pure.

Cher is too, apparently. Recently, the FCC said they would like to take Cher and Nicole Richie and wash their mouths out with soap. Okay…maybe that was my mother who said that. Turns out, way back during the Believe era when Cher was on The Billboard Music Awards in 2002 getting a lifetime achievement award, she said “F*#k ‘em!” The FCC has reversed an earlier ruling and decided the F-word is not an approved word for television, whether it’s used as an exclamation, noun or adjective. I don’t remember the F-word incident at all and I watched the show live from my apartment in Yonkers, New York, a dump of a place right off the Hudson river. But it doesn’t surprise me that Cher would pick her first primetime lifetime achievement award to swear like a sailor. She’s got a f*#king potty mouth, that one! I remember when I was nine years old and sick with the flu. My parents brought that People Magazine with the Vegas outfit on the cover to cheer me up. It was riddled with “swear-outs.” I was so disillusioned. I had probably just had my own mouth washed out with soap days earlier, but it didn’t matter. Cher wasn’t like me; she wouldn’t swear! She was a glamorous lady, above such gutter talk. It took me a few months to get over it; but then I decided, if those words were good enough for me and my mother (who said sh*t every time something broke), they were good enough for Cher.

Here are some excerpts from the article on the FCC ruling:

“Broadcasters have alleged that the FCC inconsistencies, combined with its more aggressive enforcement and Congress’ tenfold hike in maximum indecency fines, to $325,000 per violation, have chilled the industry…In 2003, the FCC’s staff concluded that the "F-word" was allowed as an adjective, rejecting complaints about U2 singer Bono’s use of the word in that way during the 2003 Golden Globes Awards telecast.”

Bono gets away with murder!

“But in March 2004 — amid public outcry after Janet Jackson’s breast was briefly exposed during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime telecast — the FCC reversed itself, ruling any variation of the "F-word" referred to sexual activity and was almost always indecent."

Damn it, but it all comes down to Janet Jackson’s boob! Read the entire article.

I’ve said sh*t and f*#k alot this week. For some reason my most recent move has come with its share of breakdowns. I’m not talking about my breakdowns of which there have been at least three. I’m talking about technology and apartment malfunctions. I broke my boyfriends shower head and his favorite ceramic soup ladle. All my remotes have inexplicably stopped working. For instance, to play a DVD, one must now turn on the stereo receiver first and set it to CD. Hang on because it never makes any more sense than this. Then, you have to turn on the VCR and put in a video cassette so the VCR will switch itself to VCR mode. Then you must turn the VCR channel to AUX and press play on the DVD player. It took me three days to figure it all out.

All that plus tons of job interviews, not to mention this is the busy social season. We’re also hosting a small Thanksgiving dinner this year for four. I’m swamped, I tell you, and I can’t catch my breath! I’ve had absolutely no time for Cher thoughts. And yet…they have accumulated in my head like uninvited little vagabonds.

It was just reported on BBC news that Cher plans to take an African trip to help Robert and Eleanor Wood buy land and build a school for some little Kenyans who have no food or pencils. It’s really great that Cher has been focusing so much time on charity work lately. The US holiday Veterans Day a week or so ago reminds us about her contribution to The Fallen Heroes Fund. The BBC article claims Cher told Robert Wood, “…when I start a project, I finish it.” She couldn’t have said that, I feel. Surely not. Or I’d have a Mame DVD directly in front of my two Mask DVDs on the shelf above my inexplicably complex DVD/stereo system at my new apartment.

   

Chastity Catch-up

Chasandcher Well…still no fan club sign-in on the official website. I carry on. Maybe it’s time to catch up on our Chastity Bono news.

  • Earlier this year, Chastity appeared on eight episodes of VH-1’s Celebrity Fit Club Season 3. She lost weight alongside Cosby Show’s Tempestt Bledsoe, Taxi’s Jeff Conaway, Moesha’s Countess Vaughn, Hollywood Squares’ Bruce Vilanch, Kelly LeBrock, and rappers Young M.C. and  Bizarre. You can read my episode-by-episode account of the saga on Ape Culture. I did get engrossed in a marathon of season 2 one Sunday in 2005, but mostly I find this show to be kind of boring. Not as boring as Who Gets the Dog, mind you, but pretty slow nonetheless. Even worse, however, is the inane weight-loss blather the show tries to present as information. And the early episodes with Jeff Conoway seem to push the boundaries of celebrity-sploitation. The fact that there’s one episode titled "The Meltdown" followed by another one titled "Jeff Goes Into Rehab" followed later by "Gunnar’s Hair Cut" should speak volumes.

Chastity also appeared on A&E’s Sell This House where she had her house in West Hollywood blinged-out for prospective buyers who had been hatin on it in prior showings. Vampin houses just aint Chas’s thang like it is her mummys. I can relate cos collecting Christmas cookie jars aint my thang either. Although if my mom decides to part with her shot glass collection, I’ll find storage space for that.

There are reports that Chastity is working on the development of a coming-out movie for the gay TV network here! Chas is co-writting "In the Name of Love" with Garth Belcon who wrote a 2004 movie called Froterz that Chastity appeared in. No word yet when this movie will be coming out, no pun intended.

Chastity has also talked about working on a  book about growing up with her parents, S&C. No word on the progress of this project either. Her previous books, The End of Innocence: A Memoir written with Michele Kort (2002) and Family Outing: A Guide to the Coming-Out Process for Gays, Lesbians, & Their Families written with Billie Fitzpatrick Fitzpatrick (1999) were both good reads.

Chastity really needs her own website. She has a Gene-Simmons-like amount of projects going on.

Signature Cher

AutobasicgI’m feeling sleepy tonight so I’ll keep this sucker short. Some news: CherWorld reports Cher is busy working on a new album and Diane Warren is rumored to be penning some of the material. If you’ve read my album reviews on Cher Scholar, you know I’m not a big fan of this 80s songstress. The hooks sound really simplistic to me and the lyrics really wack you over the head. “Turn back time. Find a way.” No nuance. No depth. Certainly no “My eyes saw red but the cards still stayed black” or “I play games now but it’s not fun” or “you’re as cool as Colorado, Orpheus on fire.” But hey, that’s just me. Warren is a true blue hit-maker. I’m sure a song by her would chart a new wing on the Cher compound.

There’s also continued rumbling today on the big Yahoo group about the fact that Cher has still not signed the hardback catalogs fans purchased over a month ago before the auction. Someone posted a Sotheby’s response email pleading like John Malkovic in Dangerous Liaisons: “It’s beyond my control.” Fans supporting Cher’s procrastinations of signature duty are claiming she was kind enough to sell you her stuff for thousands of dollars, give the diva some space to redecorate her yurt. I’m thinking, as a fan and as an auction house, you probably shouldn’t commit to sales of Cher-signed stuff until you have boxes of them in your hot little hands. I’m reminded of an old 80s Naked Eyes song called "Promises, Promises." ("You made me….promises, promises. Why did I believe???") That’s probably what Sotheby’s and some Cher fans without hardback catalogs are feeling right now. I’m beginning to feel for them, myself. Here’s an idea: print off the Cher signature in this post, white-out the date and Elmer-glue it to your paperback catalog. Write yourself something nice like “You are my number one fan and I’ll be over Sunday for tacos.” In thirty years when you open up your Cher box in the nursing home, you won’t remember the difference. 

Also posted on Chergroups, this link to an Oprah After Show in 2004. Here Cher was put in a very awkward position when asked if she would attend the 2004 Cher Convention coming up in Las Vegas. She adeptly skirts the issue and scuttles on by it without giving even an opinion of the convention fundraiser. It’s certainly an odd thing about the convention: Cher never mentions it in any positive way and sort of exudes a vague sense of discomfort concerning it. I often wonder if Cher fans and Cher don’t mix at the end of the day. Interpersonally, she’s just too cool for her hard cores. Because they’re the sort of people who might get beat up at school or in the smoking lounge at work. By Cher.

And my mood is not helped any by seeing that awfully unfunny Chevy Sumo-Wrestler ad playing all the time with that very stilted version of "I Got You Babe." 

All in all, it was a very hard day to be a Cher fan. 

   

Rejected Blog Title #1: When My Bloggies Have Dollies

CherworldYou’d think Cher.com would be the end-all-be-all of Cher sites. Alas…no. If you’re a Cher fan looking for a comprehensive site or fan-made trades, visit the awesomely-obsessed fan sites instead. I’d love to review them all right away. So much time, energy and luv went into them. Some are flashy, some are stylish and some are a bit busy.

I’ll start with CherWorld (www.cherworld.com) for this reason: besides Google searches and Wikipedia, most of my www.cherscholar.com visitors come from Cher World. Enough said. CherWorld loves Cher because she continues to "raise eyebrows." This site definitely captures Cher’s variety, outrageousness and fashion.

Site strengths

  • Most up-to-date news items – posted frequently
  • Active forums – today someone posted a picture of a Cher-themed pumpkin. Forum topics include general chat, albums, movies, live concerts, collectibles, photos, letters to Cher, games and an off-topic section.
  • Song downloads – remixes and rare songs like "Love is in the Air"
  • Video downloads – rare videos like Cher’s performance at the U.S. Superbowl and British TV appearances
  • Comprehensive, alphabetical song lyrics
  • Fan store with a calendar, photos, a Cher crystal and Cher-autographed items (nice but too expensive for me)
  • Organized photo galleries
  • Colorful, fan-submitted wallpapers
  • E-cards! We love ’em! Some hilarious flash cards!
  • Small preview areas of Cher products from Allposters.com and ebay.com to get your Cher collection started
  • It’s a robust site – I don’t see a lot of error messages or broken links
  • Has a wonderful link list of other Cher sites that lead lots of visitors to www.cherscholar.com!

Room for Improvement

  • I can’t decide if the layout is a little loud and busy or exciting and active.
  • Whoops…some spelling errors. No biggie. You can find those here, too.
  • Comprehensive singles and albums list with chart information – but which country’s chart is it? I’m not sure.
  • Why do I need Cher email? I’m not sure about that either. Or a Guestbook.
  • Login can be confusing as there’s a different login for your email and the forum. I got my passwords confused and it took a half an hour to sort it all out with an email reminder. Also, your password is very complicated and I can’t see where to change it to something simple.
  • It’s hard to find the most current forum posts because you can’t sort the list by date.
  • There’s an outdated Tour link (it does have the European tour date list, though) and a Library link that forwards you to a News archive.
  • The Films list is missing a few movies.

I haven’t explored the Fan area much. There’s an online chat there and a profile you can fill out. CherWorld promises to send your profile to Cher.

Overall, the site is tip-top, one of the best Cher sites out there and it has the fanbase to prove it. Behind Cher.com, imdb.com and Wikipedia, Google ranks CherWorld next in popularity. It’s the highest ranked fan site. You may need the shockwave plug-in available on the site to view all the features. You can also sign up to the mailing list. I did and I’m looking forward to my first e-mail. Stay tuned. I may not be getting Official Cher Fanclub e-mail; but soon I’ll be getting CherWorld email. Whoo-hoo! I’ll take it!

    

The Cher Show Seminar

Seminarppt_1The Cher Convention deserves its own post, really. So I won’t go into that right yet: the difficulties, the disturbances, the humor and the joy, the disappointments, the sorrow, the learning experience, the community, my inability to stay up past 10pm. All that’s in there.

I’ve always supported the Cher Convention. I always loved the idea of conventions in and of themselves and the Barry Manilow Convention always served as my model of an ideal Convention. Jam packed full of art, education and debauchery. Beatlefest and the Kiss Expo just reinforced that idea. At Beatlefest, there was an art gallery of Beatle-wife art, guitar sing-a-longs in the hallway and tons of vendors. The Cher Convention isn’t like any of that for various reasons. But it’s still a thing worth doing. Cher fans just don’t bring their guitars to Cher Conventions. And how else can you get a spontaneous sing-a-long to "Heart of Stone" going? Maybe someday there can be an art gallery of Sonny Bono photographs, some of which are quite good–I always thought.

The thing is–I feel strongly that a convention should have an educational component, both for the newbies and oldies alike. Ward Lamb did some great seminars for the 2000 and 2002 conventions, but was MIA for 2004 and 2006. In 2004, the educational spot was saved by an interview with Mary Anne Cassata, author of the must-have Cher Scrapbook, a fan book stocked to the hilt with great Cher photos.

This July, I ended up doing the seminar, but not for lack of trying to finagle no less than three other Cher Scholars: Ward Lamb again (he wrote a great article for Cher in Goldmine; liner notes for the Sundazed Sonny & Cher releases and the Rhino release of Sonny’s InnerViews; see also his Amazon product reviews); Jo Kozlowski (a writer from Chicago who helped me with the first Cher zine in 2000; check out her website, Cricket in the Corner), and Robrt Pela (a writer from The Phoenix New Times; check out his article, The Virtues of Chastity). These Cher aficionados couldn’t do it for various reasons.

The seminar I put together was based on the theme of the 2006 convention–The Cher Show of 1975-6. The slide show is located on www.cherscholar.com (under Cher Conventions). You can also find it by clicking here. During the seminar, I pontificated a bunch of extra blather about the show with the help of Christopher Brisson (writer, poet and cultural commentator) and Javier Ozuna (a major collector who had been to some tapings of the show).

Someday I hope to post a whole Cher PowerPoint curriculum with a final quiz you can mail in for a diploma in Cher Scholarship. Feel free to post or email me your syllabus ideas.

 

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