So I don’t have fantasies of hanging out with Cher like most of my other straight female Cher fans (all five of us). Because when I try it, it never ends well. In those types of fantasies Cher and I would disagree over everything, like why we have to go shop for shoes all the time; or I would egregiously bore Cher with my whining about shopping for shoes all the time; or Cher gets cross at me for the lame shoes I’m wearing (pretty much my Keens every day, with flip flops on special occasions). So these hanging-out-with-Cher fantasies are not fantasies that are useful to me in any way.

My fantasies involving Cher, going back to when I was eight years old, do involve Cher doing duets with other people I am celebrity obsessed with. I know this seems like a very narrow type of fantasy situation in terms of possible plots…but it does keep me entertained on rainy days, of which today is one.

My first childhood Cher fantasy, after imagining Sonny & Cher getting back together in dramatic soap opera scenarios, was my fantasy of setting up Cher with Barry Manilow. Now I know what you’re thinking. Spare me, please. I NOW KNOW WHAT A BAD IDEA THIS WAS. Inconceivable (and yet I did conceive it), ridiculous…but you imagined it for a minute, didn’t you. And now you’ll never be able to get that out of your brain’s data bank now.

But let’s move on.

Last week I had a fantasy that Cher and John Waite would unite to record a cover of Elbow’s awesome song “One Day Like This.”

And I just wanted to share that with you.

Jimmydeanpartee sent me his Cher poem he mentioned last week in a comment and I hope he doesn’t kill me for posting it here. But I think this very fine Cher poem goes a long way toward showing that JDP and I are sharing thoughts in some weird way about both Zen Buddhism AND the discomforts involved in hanging out with Cher.

Cher

What if we met
on a lone beach
below
your malibu digs….
 
And sat on a BIG rock.
 
Would we
have something
to
talk about???
 
I think
we would be
silent….
 
And breathe.