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Wedding Bell Blues

October 9, 2009 / / 2 Comments

Bridezilla

So as you can see, I Found Some Blog is in virtual hibernation as I happily slog through wedding duties. I’m actually having a really great time compiling our programs and cutting down songs. Everything is falling into place. Knock on wood.

I was thinking last night that in many ways this has been a fairy tale wedding in planning (knock on wood again), from the Parisian proposal to the awesome invitations, to all the ideas and creative bells and whistles John and I have contributed to the basic structure of a wedding, which has made the process more fun for us, hopefully more entertaining for our friends, and so much more personal and meaningful.

But there have been a few snags, as there always is. And in a strange way, John and I have bonded over this as well. In a sad way, it has furthered the fairy tale motif: feeling rescued by a Prince Charming from childhood troubles and sad relations with certain family members.

The only grief over this wedding (and I do use the word strongly) has not been over bridezilla-eque wedding details gone awry, but family drama.

Now both my therapist and my good friend Ann warned me over a year ago that weddings often bring out the worst in families, especially narcissistic family members. And I have some of those…not all of them (there have been some in my family who have been very helpful to us during this time)…but there’s been some whopper moments from the others.

Weddings are clearly a case of something that is all about you. And narcissists have two ways of dealing with that: they will either parade around like peacocks in order to draw attention back to them or refuse to participate altogether…in any case, keeping things squarely all about them and their needs on what is to be your very special day. All advice (online, on the couch, over drinks) recommends holding steadfast to yourself. In this time of your life, it really is all about you.

It’s still heartbreaking when it happens. And I have to say, a few relationships have been changed as a result.

Putting together my wedding has been mostly an awesome experience that I’ve enjoyed immensely. Cataloging my worst day to my friend Ken, he said “I am sorry you are going through this…weddings bring out the worst in people.” 

So between the actual happy moments of the past few weeks and the head-shaking f*#k-ed up moments, this is the reason I have fallen off monitoring Cherabouts. I have no idea what’s going on in Cherdom but I have plugged in The Best of Cher into my CD player a time or two just as a coping mechanism.

I do seem to recall Cher’s mother giving Cher these comforting words: “If it doesn’t matter in five, years, it doesn’t matter.” Unfortunately, I do think some of my experiences lately will still matter in five year. But it is comforting to think of your trials in the context of geological time, which is why this song by Beth Neilson Chapman comforts me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9z1Fc7hUYs

“Solid stone is just sand and water baby,
 sand and water…and a million years gone by.”

You know what else cheers me up sometimes?

PUPPIES!

Edgar-franz

These two handsome gentlemen are seen as cruising the streets of LA
(pic taken by their chauffeur Julie W.)

I See Black People!

September 23, 2009 / / 3 Comments

Chain-mail-and-jewels

Here is an interesting peak into Cher's 1980s Egyptian-style house and working with Cher and her team from a photographer's point of view, Anthony Barboza in particular.

Remember that chain mail and jewels look?

But what is the black-people obsession about in this article? Kind of an explosive issue and I thought it should either be eliminated by Barboza or pumped up a bit more. As it was I couldn’t tell what his point was. Did he think Cher's entourage was racist? This is a surprising idea to me. But what do I know? Was Barboza overly sensitive to what was more of a photo lighting issue than a race issue?  Or did he suppose the lighting issues were code for racism?

We’re all tuned in to issues of race right now with the President and the protests, so it’s a timely topic but the article was kind of a tease. How refreshing if he would have just come out and talked about it fully. Because I’m liked a dog with a cocked head, like did I just hear something juicy?

Full story on: http://www.cherworld.com/news/?p=821

His celebrity gallery has a very cool alternate take of Cher from the session described in the article; Cher is surrounded the fur of her white couch: http://www.barbozastudio.com/celebrities/galmain.htm

  

Designer Jill Stuart Inspired by Cher

September 23, 2009 / / 0 Comments

http://blogs.wsj.com/runway/2009/09/14/not-for-the-shy-jill-stuarts-neo-cher-collection/

Stuart’s noon show at the New York Public Library today. Stuart says this collection’s “angel rocker girl” look was inspired by Cher. A silver mesh dress was cut so low in the front and back that it prompted the question about what underthings one would wear with it. “You can’t,” Stuart said with a laugh. “You have to be pretty risky to wear that.”

Her clothes were described as Neo Cher. I don’t know what Neo Cher means. Do you?

  

Circling Back

September 23, 2009 / / 0 Comments

EddieIzzard

So the wedding is in high gear, just under 60 days away. We’re busy deciding things, arranging things, assembling things. The table cards that I made, like the seating cards, had to be redone by the designer who did the invitations (I have good ideas; but suck at execution). We’re getting great feedback on the invite and I’ve been stressed about the more Me elements of the wedding, like my hair, my skin, my weight. But we’re scanning for readings, organizing favors and all that stuff.

Meanwhile, I saw Big Fantwo weekends ago and although it was really good and Patton Oswalt’s performance was Oscar-worthy, I was essentially disappointed that his character never, not for a moment, was able to see his own self-destructive behavior. Not even a glimpse of it sideways in a mirror. So there was no growth there, which to me was essentially nihilistic and depressing.

And maybe character growth wasn’t this writer/director’s big aim; but seeing the failings of the modern celebrity-obsessed for an hour or so on the big screen without some kind of insight seems like pointless entertainment, or rather…more of the same thing that it describes.

But I did take time to watch the Roseanne video of Cher and Chaz, mostly due to the good comments it received in response to my last post. Let me just say comedy is highly subjective and there were no big LOLs for me here.

Cher is dressed circa the 90s, but makes asides to the camera like on her TV show in the 70s. Chaz is just a big bear of a guy in a blond wig and rainbow shirt. I get it.

I did get some low-level chuckles: rhyming beaver (bevah) with diva, the basement full of Sanctuary knick-knacks, the pink berry joke got a snort, as did the f-ing retarded headdress line. But Cher’s actress sounded too whiny for me and the writing was way too talky.

By the way, Roseanne didn’t write or appear in these skits. She just produced them.

In episode 2, Sonny makes an angelic appearance, but looks more like Michael Jackson. The Elijah reference is surprisingly insider (Elijah just isn't as famous as Chaz), and Cher’s headdress keeps bouncing around in the over-the-shoulder shots, annoyingly upstaging the Sonny (which is just an overkill short joke).

For me, this skit tries a bit too hard, goes on for too long, and has the quality of amateur night. And the theme song is just dippy. If you love Family Guy and Flight of the Concords  or read any kind of snarky celebrity blog Dlisted or Defamer, the bar is set awfully high for irreverent, snarky pop culture roastings.

The kids today are faster, meaner, smarter and at the end of the day funnier.

Again, Eddie Izzard – what say you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjC3R6jOtUo

In other news: William Shatner came out recently in support of Lucy the Elephant. The USS Missouri is dry docked. And predictably the Witches of Eastwich TV show sucks.

  

Healthy Perspectives and Fan Obsessions

September 10, 2009 / / 3 Comments

Big_fan_377x566 Not only do I wade in my own celebrity obsession (a fact proven by the existence of this very blog) without apology and quite naturally if I don’t say so myself (I have some mad skillz in this particular brand of nuttiness); but I also partake in studying and discussing the larger issues and problems with celebrity obsessions in general, which are many.

Two pieces of pop culture have come to my attention this week dealing with the topic on fandom gone bad. First I plan to see the new movie Big Fan this weekend starring Patton Oswalt and written and directed by Robert D. Siegel (of The Wrestler).

The synopsis of the movie from imdb:

Big Fan follows the life of Paul Aufiero (Patton Oswalt), a devout New York Giants fan, and parking garage attendant. Paul plods along through his life, living with his mother (Marcia Jean Kurtz) in Staten Island… We soon see that the only thing that Paul really cares about is football, or more specifically, the New York Giants. Paul meticulously crafts rants about why his Giants are "destined" for glory and calls in to a local late-night sports radio show where he is a known contributor and enemy of Philadelphia Eagles fan, Philadelphia Phil. Things then take a turn for Paul as a night out with his best friend Sal (Kevin Corrigan) results in a sighting of his favorite player Quantrell Bishop (Jonathan Hamm). Paul finally builds up the guts to go over and talk to Bishop and in a drunken state Bishop misinterprets something Paul says and beats him to a pulp. The rest of the film follows Paul and his struggle to figure out his life as everyone around him tries to get him to sue, and imprison his hero, all while his Giants stumble and fall from their path to "destiny"

Wow…this goes right to the jugular of the problems of living your life inside of another life (your celebrity’s) instead of your own.

From the Sundance Film Festival website:

What starts out as a dream come true turns into a nightmare as a misunderstanding ignites a violent confrontation, and Paul is sent down a path that will test his devotion to the extreme. Patton Oswalt is perfectly cast as Paul, infusing him with a humanity that renders him empathetic instead of pathetic. Siegel has an innate understanding of—and reverence for—his characters but finds humor in every scene by perfectly capturing the details of their world. From the posters on the walls, to the NFL bed sheets, to the ""spontaneous"" smack talking, he nails it. Big Fan resonates with truth and insight, and the result is a film that will make you laugh and wince at the same time—a very winning combination.

The Rolling Stone review:

Paul is a setup for an easy joke on losers. That the joke never comes is a tribute to writer Robert Siegel who makes a potent directing debut with a scrappy movie that refuses to sentimentalize or ridicule its besieged hero worshipper. His pain, like his loneliness, is palpably real.

A film all obsessed Cher fans should see. http://www.bigfanmovie.com/

Secondly, my friend Christopher also sent me an album by a band-or-singer (I'm not sure) called Fisher. The second song on the album is another gem about fan obsession called “Biggest Fan.” The lyrics are a bit chilling:

You go outFisher-thelovelyyears_large
You hide out
But we all want to know you
Every once in a while
You send a photograph

And if I met you on the street
Would you be really nice to me
Or would you ignore me and make me feel stupid
I feel like I know you like a friend
Seen every movie you’ve been in
If you ignore me, I’ll hate you
Cos I am your biggest fan

I love your garbage
To touch it is to touch you
Every once in a while I sell a piece for cash

Of course the story denegrates from there into screaming and an arrest. Get a copy at your nearest iTunes location.

The CCA and Craniofacial Acceptance Month

September 3, 2009 / / 0 Comments

Scott & Mitch Daniels I received two missives this week from our friends over at the Children’s Craniofacial Association or www.ccakids.org announcing September as Craniofacial Acceptance Month. The first email was from Executive Director Charlene Smith. As you recall Cher spent many years as spokeswoman and retreat-facilitator for the CCA after being inspired by her role in the movie Mask. The CCA has also been a big part of Cher Convention through the years.

Charlene’s emails says,

Being accepted by others is a natural human desire, but it’s not often easy for the 100,000 children born each year in the United States with facial differences. September is Craniofacial Acceptance Month. Please join Children’s Craniofacial Association in their vision that all people are accepted for who they are, not how they look, and realize that beyond the face is a heart. Please visit: www.ccakids.org

Please help CCA touch as many lives as we can during the month of September by forwarding this email to all of your friends.

Our mission is empowering and giving hope to individuals and families affected by facial differences. CCA envisions a world where all people are accepted for who they are not how they look.

I also received another letter from Paula Guzzo, the mother of Scott Guzzo, both Cher fans many Cher Conventioneers have met and become friends with over the years at conventions. Paula writes:

As many of you know, I serve on the Children's Craniofacial Association's Board of Directors. CCA envisions a world where all people are accepted for who they are, not how they look. Gov. Daniels has proclaimed September as Craniofacial Acceptance Month in Indiana. Our family and CCA thanks him. A copy of Gov. Daniels' Proclamation is attached. So is a picture of Scott and Gov. Daniels. [both pictured above]

Please help me spread the word. If you're affiliated with an organization that posts these things to a Web site or a social network, please do so.

So forward this to your friends and help spread the word!

   

On Roseanne Barr

September 3, 2009 / / 3 Comments

Roseanne_Barr_5518 I don’t know what else Roseanne is up to other than running a website.

Roseanne Barr just launched "Cher and Chaz," her hilarious Web sitcom on Roseanneworld.com, imagining what it's like at home for Cher as her transgender daughter Chastity turms into her son.

I can’t believe there are actually news items on this comedy web sketch:

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/08/23/2009-08-23_side_dish.html#ixzz0P9M8GCPG

http://www.akawilliam.com/the-cher-and-chaz-show/

And news about Cher not diggin it: http://www.pr-inside.com/cher-not-laughing-about-roseanne-s-online-r1454775.htm

I haven’t watched it yet, I must admit. But although I have nothing against this sort of send-up (I’m mostly in the nothing’s-sacred/anything-goes comedy camp), Roseanne is datedly and decidedly not funny in general so I don’t have high hopes for this sketch of hers. 

My resistance to sacred cows is what allows me to enjoy Howard Stern, a true provocateur. But if Roseanne were a true provocateur, she’d have the pulse of the people and the power of moral authority behind her. And she’s repeatedly failed to prove she has this power, many stunts after trying (the baseball game howling of the National Anthem and crotch-grabbing being the most infamous example of a failed attempt). She just misses the mark most of the time. No — Lenny Bruce she is certainly not. And I wonder why. I think it’s because she comes across as a mean-spirited loner, honestly, whether she intends to or not. The perception is that her shit seems self-serving, never sincerely self-deprecating.

This can also be seen in the trajectory of her old 80s sitcom, Roseanne, which I initially adored, by the way, for giving American TV a somewhat normal, lower-class, non-skinny Midwestern family to watch. However, the more control she exerted over the show, the less typical the family became, the more melodramatic the plots were, and the more she tried to hit us over the head with laboriously provocative material.

Meanwhile, provocative dramas and comedies have come and gone from TVLand with real moral pathos and authority. The Roseanne circus ruined her show and, as a result, it jumped the shark much sooner than it deserved to. Somehow she just misses the boat comically. Bc5c8d3517a7bc84

Seriously, I’m not opposed to poking fun of Chaz’s somewhat historic story. Humor is not always mean-spirited; sometimes it’s cathartic for a society to process its dramas with laughter. Never a party when you’re the subject of it; but we all take a turn in this life or the next. Still, Chaz deserves a higher-caliber ribbing than what Roseanne can provide. And don’t send me Bruce Vilanch, please! Eddie Izzard could seriously do this.

Turn Around and You’re Two…Turn Around and You’re Four

August 28, 2009 / / 2 Comments

76060501 This has been a busy week of weddingness: we assembled and sent our especially designed invitations, my dress came in and I had my first fitting, we met with the photographer and walked around our venue looking for photo shots. So I didn’t have much time to contemplate Cherdom this week. However, something pretty amazing happened, Cher-related.

So I’ve been a Cher fan since I was about four or six years old (1974-1976). I’m not really sure when I started exactly. I do remember it was one of the first aesthetic decisions I made, but the timing is so hard to place, looking back. I remember watching the first variety show with my parents when we lived in Albuquerque — so that must have been in 1974 (I would have been four). I loved both the show and the two records my parents had (Look at Us and All I Ever Need is You). My Albuquerque friend Stacy got the Cher doll before I even knew there was one. This must have been in 1976. I was mildly outraged and discouraged that someone who was as passionate as I was about Sonny & Cher was not the first one on my block to get the doll. So I petitioned for it for Christmas and got one with a handful of outfits. I remember thinking that a fan of my caliber should have all the outfits. This is how it has always been you see. I took that doll to show-and-tell in first grade and, along with Stretch Armstrong, it was the most popular show-and-tell toy. Both dolls were broken that show-and-tell day as a result of their being so manhandled. Cher’s hands were broken off and Armstrong was punctured until his innards started oozing out.

I got the S&C TV Guide cover soon after, which I adored. Until my oldest brother told me I should stop slobbering over it because S&C were divorced. Tragedy of all tragedies! Why hadn’t anyone told me! Then we moved to St. Louis  (and I think this is where I got the idea that moving was a diversion to heartbreak) just in time to watch the second variety series when my parents agreed to let me stay up past my seven-year-old bedtime once a week in order to watch it. But those good times were all over before I knew it (cancellation) and I was left to lick my wounds with that awful 1979 Solid Gold special which launched the very lame lip-synching series of the same name. I think it’s right around that time when gold started to lose its luster for me.

For Christmases and birthdays during the brief era of 1977 to 1979, my parents purcPeople79hased Sonny & Cher albums as gifts for me. And when I was sick with the stomach flu in 1979, my mom bought me the famous Cher People magazine cover issue with the hole-fit and the pink boa.

But this is all a long, long backstory just to say that SINCE THEN my parents have definitely not approved of my Cher obsession, and certainly not long after I learned how to drive and immediately chose to cruise across town to used record stores for Cher lps. Enough was enough already. Normal kids don’t have celebrity obsessions and if they did, they were more current acts like Duran Duran and Don Johnson (God help me—you see what I had to choose from?).

Flash forward to this year. These are the songs I picked as choices for my wedding’s father-daughter dance: “Take it to the Limit” by the Eagles (which was nixed because my brother and father interpreted it to be all about sex), “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack (which my father didn’t love), “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armtrong  (kind of clichéd, I felt), “Heavenly Day” by Patty Griffin and “IGUB,” which did come up but was controversial because it was sweet as a father-daughter dance but essentially a couple’s song.  Between the two of us, my father and I didn’t agree on or couldn’t find anything on the many online lists of father-daughter-dance suggestions full of maudlin and sappy sentimentalities. One big problem I found was that most suggested songs were for younger brides (“everything she owns I bought her”) and in my case, I’m more the mature bride, not the fresh-faced innocent depicted in country songs.

Last weekend, my father ended up considering a pretty obscure Sonny & Cher song of all things (well, mostly a Cher song on a S&C album), a song called “Turn Around,” one I had suggested actually  but not the S&C version which I didn’t even remember. I was trying to find a Harry Belafonte version (he wrote it) and found many other recorded versions by Kenny Loggins, Rosemary Clooney, Danny Kaye,  and the soundtrack of a famous Kodak ad eons ago. My dad maybe saw the S&C version listed on iTunes – I’m not sure. But I was frankly shocked when he suggested it.

Zoo Film Controversy

August 28, 2009 / / 0 Comments

Chers%20Elephant PETA Asks Stars Of “The Zookeeper” To Just Say No To Live Animals by Michael Parrish DuDell

With a name like The Zookeeper you know there’s bound to be trouble!

Yes, especially since Cher just attended a Zoo protest earlier this year. Maybe she plans to go all Trojan horse on the film with inside activism. Hmm…somehow I doubt this.

The film…has contracted the company Birds & Animals Unlimited to supply their animals for the shoot…and PETA is not happy. Turns out Birds & Animals Unlimited have received TONS of violations from the USDA and have quite the reputation. To help mend the situation, PETA has written a letter to the stars of the film saying: “Exotic animals used as involuntary ‘actors’ are routinely subjected to rigorous and abusive training methods to coerce them into performing acts that are stressful, uncomfortable, confusing and even painful.” The answer: PETA suggests using computer generated imagery.

Although PETA can sometimes make me cringe, I support their cause. I've done my time with anti-fur and Farm Sanctuary marching. Which is not to say I would be able to boycott this movie as easily as I am now able to boycott Whole Foods. I would still go to the movie even if they exploited animals to make it. I would just be forced to whine and complain about the abuse before and after the movie.

Hey…maybe they could recycle Cher's Farewell tour elephant…

   

  

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